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Kagro in the Morning


Apr 16, 2020

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David Waldman exorcised his Skype demons successfully to bring us our Thursday KITM:

Donald Trump led the rats that follow him outside yesterday, and announced his “Opening Our Country to Coronavirus” council, live on TV, broadcast to the CEOs he plans to blame in the future. Donald also promised to adjourn Congress, off the scoreboard, off the bank board, no rim

Sure, Trump didn’t really do anything for months on the COVID-19 pandemic, but... what if he found out a couple of weeks earlier... hmm? He probably then would have found the chance to blame the WHO earlier, that’s what. The Gop just wasn’t built for this government thing.

The south rose again with Michigan and Ohio’s zombie hoards. In lieu of brains, they are demanding their fair share of coronavirus.

Greg Dworkin reminds us that when we say it, we indeed spray it. Dr. Oz assures us that only a couple of our kids will die out of every hundred kids, and really... how many is that? And, about half of secondary cases are infected during the presymptomatic stage, so without antibody and contact testing, the people "restarting" the economy probably won't know what hit them for a week or so.

Another Republican without math skills: Steve Mnuchin. Reese Witherspoon probably knows the difference between 250 and 1,000,000, but her ad agency apparently does not

The White House secured facemasks for themselves while publicly discouraging them, because if they hadn’t, you would have them and they wouldn’t. Also, FEMA gave a $55,000,000 no-bid contract to a bankrupt company with no employees for N95 masks at 7 times the price. All this is what is known as “the art of the deal”. 

If we would all turn our backs for just a moment, the Navy will reassign Capt. Brett E. Crozier to the Theodore Roosevelt and we can just pretend this never happened.

Psst. The election could be a blowout. Even Susan Collins is concerned.

God must hate Jerry Falwell Jr.