Aug 13, 2020
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Welcome to the 9th anniversary of Kagro in the Morning! This is my 5th one!
David Waldman notices schools reopening, then to be forced to close because of the obviously ongoing coronavirus pandemic, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, and again. Maybe it can work like snow closings, where schools won’t close until a certain number of children freeze to death? Ron DeSantis wants children to keep fighting until he can drop their bodies off of an aircraft carrier.
Donald Trump had yet another pandemic briefing, in which he said the same things again, again, again, again, again, again, etc., adding a little extra racism and misogyny with each performance. Trump won’t be hosting this year’s G-7 summit, news that actually gets better with repetition.
China flew some chicken in from Brazil, and boy, are its wings sick. It looks as if Russia will beat its October deadline on shipping a vaccine over to us.
Public health officials discover that the more people they save, the more physical danger they find themselves in, due to the spreading lunatic plague. Qanon is mental gonorrhea for Republicans, which seems to be as recurring a condition as the common kind for them. In fact, they kind of seem to like to get it on them lately.
NC billionaire Greg Lindberg seems to have reached the threshold for brazenousness required to capture the attention of federal prosecutors. One incredibly simple question if Biden is elected: whether to prosecute Trump. Trump plans to shut down democracy, and the Post Office. Soon, it will be up to the Army.
Greg Dworkin suggests a landslide victory over a civil war. Joe Biden and Kamala Harris are ready to deliver one. On the other hand, Trump figures that if he insults Kamala harshly enough, women will flock to him. Or if coronavirus cancels enough sports, men will admire him. Voters will love a father figure, just like him.