Aug 24, 2020
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Before we can make it to the finale of Presidential Apprentice we will first need to survive this week’s denouement, although we’ll be seeing many of our contestants, probably for the last time, hopefully. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin host Day One of the last days.
Just in time for the show, Donald Trump debuted another breakthrough COVID-19 cure, which is neither a breakthrough or a cure, or even a debut, but Trump made sure we will never sure how it works or even how to ever make it work, and that’s ok by him. You see, 57% of Republicans see the 176,000+ coronavirus deaths as acceptable… and seeing that they are dividing the total number of deaths by “3/5ths”, that kind of makes sense.
Sturgis motorcycle rally COVID-19 cases in South Dakota have spread to North Dakota, somehow.
The convention speeches probably won’t mention the Postal Service hearings happening now, although that will probably be what their audience is talking about. Chickens and turkeys are having mass die-offs in the mail before we can put them in our mouths, and before anyone gets paid.
Conventioneers might also be talking about Jerry Falwell Jr. Jerry “admits” that his wife had an affair with the pool boy, or maybe he was “bragging”, or maybe he was just “requesting a refund”. (Similar to how Donald likes to watch Homeland Security take its orders from TV’s Lou Dobbs.)
There is yet another insane police shooting to witness and protest. If they stuck to murdering dogs, there’d be less trouble.
The Democratic National Convention and Joe Biden moved its audience from TV to the internet. It is, after all, not 2016 anymore.
Complicating things, now and forever, will be the Republican lunatic fringe. Except this time, they are the Trump base. Qanon snake oil is replacing essential oils for wellness moms.
Jared Kushner’s grift with the Russians went bad, so now Jared owns it.
How do you get rid of a dictator, by the way?