Jul 1, 2020
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Good day! It’s Wednesday, July 1st, and a special Canada Day episode of KITM featuring David Waldman and Greg Dworkin—Coo-Roo-Coo-Coo-Coo-Coo-Coo-Coo!
Well, there’s the COVID-19 pandemic disaster, and the Russian bounty treason. Which HOAX! would you like to be addressed first? Republicans who did not want to look weak by wearing masks and then put them on months later, still look weak. The ones still refusing look like idiots. Therefore, many Republicans you will never see again, and the ones that have been left behind are looking more like crazy idiots. Crazy idiots do happen to be to be Donald Trump’s enthusiastic core supporters, but pandering to just them seems to be a lost cause. The public is not in the mood to play with Donald anymore.
Experts see a wall of dark clouds gathering on the horizon as coronavirus cases skyrocket in red states. Donald Trump had three weeks to turn it all around, but failed Americans.
Mark and Patricia McCloskey, personal injury lawyers, and total assholes, found the ideal representative—perfect asshole Albert Watkins.
Sure, Remdesivir seems a bit expensive, but have you priced a funeral lately? It doesn’t matter, the US bought up the world stock so now you’ll have to wait for the deluxe Trump brand version anyhow.
Condoms and face masks will never get in the way of horny morons. Surging caseload spikes demand for testing, which could crash the supply train. Who needs a nasal swab though, when there’s so many angles to attack the situation?
Sources report that our lone warrior can read. This probably comes as a surprise to every world leader and their aides. Donald might not even be aware that things can be “written down”.
Judge Samuel Alito might retire soon… as if that would matter to someone of Mitch McConnell’s principles!
Have a hard time choosing between Democracy and Autocracy? David suggests abolishing the legislative filibuster. You could also pack the courts while you’re at it. Joe Biden can learn a few things from Jimmy Carter. Who’s Joe Biden?