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Kagro in the Morning


Jul 21, 2020

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David Waldman is out, but not out of stories to share! David couldn’t bear to leave us empty-eared, so he burned the afternoon oil at KITM World Headquarters to produce a special pre-recorded show for today!

Do you reside in a city with a federal building or property, maybe a post office? Do you disagree with Donald Trump’s handling of… anything? Are you insufficiently loyal? Then, you might be excited to hear that Ken Cuccinelli has a van with your name on it. Actually, the van has no name on it, and the guys climbing out will be masked with no identification, all adding to the excitement for everyone. Even if you are the shy, retiring type, Q-shirt volunteers will have their ears to the ground in every neighborhood, trained to root out baby cannibals like you and me. The whole operation isn’t quite up to Russian standards as yet, but that ambition is certainly present here, today

Democratic leaders are asking the FBI for an urgent briefing on members of Congress being targeted by a foreign operation, employing known tool Ron Johnson.

Before you are disappeared, you might want to first consider whether or not you want to send your child into one of the largest unregulated experiments ever conducted. If you are rich... well, there’s a lot of things you don’t have to consider, because if public schools aren’t private enough for you, and neither are private schools, there’ll always be your money to fix things. If you are medium-rich, you still have online learning, sort of. If your child is not white, that might lead to jail, however.

Ritchie Torres is not white. In fact, he is expected to be the first openly gay Afro-Latino man in Congress. Congress is literally not ready for someone both Black and Latinx, as Torres can’t join both the Black and Hispanic caucuses.

You knew that Ailes and O'Reilly weren’t the end of it over at Fox News. Maybe, soon, the rape and sexual violence there will taper off, now that there’s a lawsuit on Ed Henry for rape and the current top talent on harassment. With those guys gone, it will cut in half the security demands for the Republican convention.