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Kagro in the Morning


Mar 21, 2019

This morning, KITM World Headquarters took tentative steps towards inclusivity, by attempting to unite PCs and Macs in an initially uneasy truce. David Waldman checked in with his IT guy, Greg Dworkin, and they got to talking about politics:

New Zealand shows the world how representative government works, by banning military-style semiautomatic weapons and assault rifles less than a week after its tragedy.

Donald Trump gave John McCain the funeral he wanted (one without Donald Trump) but John’s thank you card must have been delayed in transit.  Senator Johnny Isakson places Trump in his basket of deplorables, at least until the next Gop vote comes up. Republicans don’t mind Trump’s lies that much, but are really irritated when he tells the truth.

Appraisals of Democrat’s campaign launches are in... pre-Biden that is. Does the number of small donors determine how closely a candidate will follow the will of the people? If so, will “Devin Nunes’ Cow” lead the herd? Bernie Sander’s electability argument becomes tougher for him if he isn’t electable. Some 2020 Democrats back Liberals’ goals, which is fine, because most Americans do too.

Friendless, empty, singularly self-serving nihilist Mitch McConnell is the closest thing Donald Trump will ever have to a soul-mate.

Donald laid his wall down somewhere, and it was lost, but then it was found that local Mexicans were putting it to good use. The White House will empty out its international graft piggy bank to pay for the wall. Jared Kushner, the world’s most absent-minded super-genius, forgot to apply for certificates of occupancy for 9 of his buildings.

How does Hope Hicks do it? Democrats hope to ask her that soon.

Donald Trump didn’t say he was going to make the Mueller report public, so don’t ever believe him, even after you see it in writing. James Comey isn’t even sure if a subpoena would work in obtaining an unredacted copy.