Mar 6, 2020
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David Waldman presents the Friday KITM, sanitized for your protection:
Today, Donald Trump discovered the true threat of COVID-19, and routed Air Force One around it to Mar-a-Lago, where it’s safe. Donald’s on-the-job training still isn’t going well. The WHO now describe this as a pandemic, but Trump’s coronavirus response was doomed from the start, and is not getting any better.
More gun on person violence in our schools occurred when a Texarkana student shot himself in the good-guy-with-a-gun hand.
At least less people get shot in empty schools. Schools close for coronavirus in Washington, California and Pennsylvania. Hospitals fill up. The CDC tells a nurse this isn’t happening, because it is impossible for it to happen.
Trump’s glowing orb has gone into hiding.
The Trump financial slump continues, except for maybe bleach and zinc tablet futures. People presently are so distraught, you can see a run on toilet paper stretching from Australia to Seattle. Rick Santelli, inventor of the Tea Party, brings us his latest brainchild, again reaching to the past for inspiration. Trump will never have a personal financial slump with all the grifts he has going.
Russians go to Ireland to inspect undersea cables, install off switches. TikTok puts the “fun” into "fundamentally parasitic".
You’ve heard the chants: “Build! The! Tennis! Court!”. Melania Trump listened.
Mick Mulvaney is planning to resign, unless of course he’s just acting.
A federal judge on the Mueller FOIA case believes that under William Barr’s redactions lies William Barr’s lies. Trump and Barr’s solution to this will be to do nothing, as that hasn’t let them down yet. The Kentucky Gop are introducing bills to take away the authority of the Democratic Governor. David suggests the Gov take a page from Trump and just do nothing.