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Kagro in the Morning


May 14, 2020

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David Waldman and Greg Dworkin present our hebdomadal penultimate KITM:

The Wisconsin Supreme Court, led by landslide loser Justice Daniel Kelly, voted out COVID-19 from the state. Pre-infected idiots rejoice, flooding local bars to maybe get them some. Regular folks tell Green Bay Packers to drop dead. Gimmetarians charge society $3,000 to $6,000 in a bid to reduce penis disparagement as much as possible. Democrats remain more confident.

Experts have ideas on how to beat Covid-19 and save the economy. You know who else was an expert? Barack Hussein Obama. It’s OBAMAGATE! LOOK IT UP SHEEPLE! Could you imagine a more horrendous scandal, ever, in human history? Well then, you just might have a job on Trump’s team, because they’re out of ideas with more than 5 months to go.

America’s approval of Donald Trump’s handling of COVID-19 is way down to… way too high. A lot of people do have a lot of problems with Trump. Women in the service industries will be having more problems, as well as the several million that used to have a job.

Ousted government scientist-turned-whistleblower Dr. Richard Bright warns that a dark winter is coming. The New York Times says its health reporter went too far in accurately describing the health risks posed by Donald Trump and the CDC to Americans. Dr. Joseph Fair, science contributor, virologist, and epidemiologist, got too close to the subject he was reporting on, but hopes to recover.

Who says inattentiveness and ineptitude kill people? The US violated sanctions on Russia to buy ventilators made by Russian arms manufacturers, but never quite got around to supplying them to hospitals, saving untold numbers of people that could have burned to death using them. Donald got Vlad some nice American ones, for free.

Trump’s emoluments lawsuit continues, who knows about his taxes.

Barr sees no “I” in Burr, and neither does Trump, so it’s Richard Burr going down over team-player Kelly Loeffler.

A barber vowed to cut hair until Jesus comes, but Jesus didn’t issue his barber license.