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Kagro in the Morning


May 24, 2021

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David Waldman and Greg Dworkin present our KITM Victoria Day Special. Not the Eastern Orthodox one either!
 
Belarus sent a MiG-29 fighter jet to hijack a civilian airliner containing a journalist that isn’t a big fan of the Belarus president. The Belarus president isn’t a big fan of journalists.
 
Think the former guy could drive? Of course not, why would he learn a thing? Joe Biden drove a Ford F-150 Lightning to 60 miles per hour in 4.4 seconds, and liked it. American EVs will be made with Trump’s ass in mind, however, and thus will be the size of houses. The good news — you can live in them like houses too.
 
A year after George Floyd died, and crime is rising!  Well, it might correlate better with the lifting of the Covid mask mandate.
 
The mask mandate could have been dropped a little slower, you know, so that the people who complain government moves too slow could get themselves situated. Vaccine rollouts, on the other hand, need to be quick and smooth, so as not to spook the vaccine hesitant into a stampede. It’s definitely hard to get everyone on the same page, especially when they aren’t into reading pages —  at least not yours.
 
You’d think the Fraudiots and their fraudit in Maricopa would have embarrassed the Republican party into non-existence, but these are Trump Republicans —  pretty much identical to Republicans past, except for how they apparently crave shame. They all crave power, it’s just that a dwindling number believe disgrace might get in the way of that. After all, the audit franchise is expanding into Georgia, and MAGA-Qs are preparing to be future election officials. 
 
Republican Mike Gallagher called January 6th "banana republic crap" but isn’t about to vote for a January 6 commission. An Ohio GQP chair worked tirelessly for Trump, raised millions, but was slow to destroy a co-worker that disparaged Donald, so she’s a goner.
 
Jared Kushner stayed at the Ritz-Carlton Abu Dhabi on the taxpayer’s dime, when Mohammed bin Salman had a perfectly good pocket for his stay.
 
Jason Miller slipped an abortion pill into the smoothie of a stripper he got pregnant (allegedly) A US District Judge says Miller owes Gizmodo $42,000 for wasting their time with a defamation suit.