Sep 2, 2020
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Did you ever consider that Donald Trump might not actually be having a series of “mini-strokes”, but that he’s just saying these things to make it easier for David Waldman to fill 2 hours each morning?
Donald Trump always knew there was something hinky about Ted Cruz. It was the soup, the bags of soup. When a camera shop owner refused to talk to him, Donald got a stand-in. Then there’s “thugs on a plane”. Joe Biden will have difficulty finding time in Kenosha to talk about anything other than what an idiot Trump is. Trump has not yet promoted Novichok to treat COVID-19 symptoms.
Greg Dworkin eagerly counts down the days… minutes… until the really cool post-Labor day polls come out. In the meantime, there are plenty of very good polls, all with Joe Biden in the lead. None are showing a post-convention bounce, because the RNC didn’t tell voters how Trump could ever handle the pandemic, and everyone already knows Trump’s stand on law and order. That leaves the debates, which traditionally matter even less, although who knows, maybe Joe can get Donald to stroke out, or experience a temporary period of symptoms similar to one. (Vlad came up with that gag.)
Elliot Broidy’s roguish good looks got him in trouble again, or maybe it was his endless connections to corruption. Either way, the Feds want a date with him. That will leave Steve Mnuchin as sexiest unindicted movie producer connected to Trump.
Trump lackey Jason Miller was paid $20,000 a month on the side by a nonprofit founded by Steve Bannon. Florida man regrets painting “Trump” in 5 foot letters on the side of his boat, especially when it pushed him to committing a felony. William Barr continues to cover Donald’s tracks, probably for some good reason.
Melania Trump helped siphon off $80 million from the Inaugural Fund. She regularly used a private Trump Organization email account, an email from a MelaniaTrump.com domain, iMessage and the encrypted messaging app Signal in the White House. Melania Trump is a Trump after all.