Aug 12, 2022
David Waldman decided it was probably best to hold off on our KITM OnlyFans page, determining that this part of the franchise is probably enough of a challenge at this time:
The people thinking that Donald Trump would only steal the White House silverware have found they underestimated him again. The DOJ is certain that laws were broken, but just any idiot can pilfer classified information, and Donald Trump isn’t just any idiot. Donald needed only about an hour and a half to commit all nuclear secrets to memory, but the FBI believed he still had a few boxes left over at Mar-a-Lago. In reply, Trump shouted “Nuclear weapons is a hoax!” between cheeseburgers. In reply to that, Merrick Garland said “put up or shut up”. Then things got really quiet.
Lindsay Graham and Mike Turner are rushing to move the goalposts. Fox News and friends ask, “What about Chappaquiddick?” Tuck’s on vacation, so Brian Kilmeade guest-jerked with fake pictures of U.S. Magistrate Judge Bruce Reinhart, the judge that the Right most wants to kill. (Even before they found out he was Jewish.) The police force that the Right most wants to kill is the FBI, therefore a January 6 insurrectionist decided to Leeroy Jenkins his local FBI office.
Some rats want to make it clear that they are swimming away. John Bolton feels that generally, most of the FBI don’t deserve to be taken out. Ari Fleisher just can’t see why a nice guy like the former guy would do such a thing, unless he was doing a really bad thing.