Dec 31, 2019
New Years Eve! For some, this could be a day of sleeping in, eating cheeseburgers and cake, or maybe getting in a few rounds of golf to close out the year, but not David Waldman, who could’ve easily spent the the holiday fighting off swarms of raccoons, but instead produced pre & post ball-drop KITMs for our edification and entertainment:
Mitch McConnell hoped to pull off the Senate impeachment trial of Donald Trump quickly and painlessly, and would have gotten away with it too, if wasn’t for that Nancy Pelosi, and all of that new evidence piling up. Senator Marco Rubio, member of the U.S. Senate Select Committee on Intelligence, and avid reader of random bible verses, hasn’t yet bothered to read Senate intelligence documents on Trump, but has developed many opinions. Marco might someday read that extortion for personal gain is the Trump administration MO.
The media claims Donald erased his efforts to out a CIA whistleblower, but really Trump erased only one effort... News flash! Biden floats the idea of picking a Republican running mate! Second news flash! Biden did NOT float the idea of picking a Republican running mate! Seriously, which headline do you think editors will go for?
David looks closely at the shooting at White Settlement (Yes, your guess on the origin of the name is correct.) A trained firearms expert closely monitoring the situation killed the attacker, but not before the attacker was able to kill a trained firearms expert closely monitoring the situation.
Another cop signs his coffee cup “Pig”, a joke of his actually made hilarious after McDonald’s proved that he did it.
William Barr’s intel probe might not help Trump, but it will probably hurt the CIA, which might be good enough for those two.