Feb 28, 2022
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David Waldman was set to host a merry special Shrove Monday KITM, but it seems like not enough of you are observing Mindful Monday to allow that. Hold your pączki until tomorrow.
War continues in Ukraine. Americans are surprised and dismayed that Putin invaded Ukraine. It turns out that Vladimir Putin isn’t American.
It turns also out Vladimir Putin isn’t just the fun troll MAGA uses to pwn Libs and deliver muscular Christianity to the world, and Ukraine isn’t just part of the Trump 2016 campaign, and the NATO #1 objective isn’t to torment Clay Higgins, although most would be okay with that. Donald Trump and others hope to reshuffle their lies and move on, which is fine for the many Republicans Mitt Romney and we like to refer to as “morons”. Marjorie Traitor Greene says she wouldn’t have even attended this weekend’s White nationalist conference had she not been a moron. Lauren Boebert is too stupid to know how dumb she is.
Putin is dangerous enough when he’s winning, but Greg Dworkin reminds us that Vlad’s a real menace when he's losing. Putin’s beginning to sound like Kim Jong-Un with an itchy red-button finger. Moscow billionaires are beginning to reconsider their relationship with Putin, and soon there probably won’t be a table long enough to save him.
Russia is in such chaos it hasn’t had the time to fake protests, the best it can do is just declare fake victory. Russian airliners wander over Canada, as if Aeroflot ever knew exactly where they were at any time.
Putin is losing because the West is united against him, for his geopolitical aggression, but mostly because he’s bad for business. Russia’s military also sucks ass, which it hopes to make up for in raw barbarity. They’ve inspired the Swiss to freeze Russian assets off, and Germans to tighten their Bundeswehr. The Ruble is sinking so fast, it’s hard to follow its fall. Demand for Russian bachelors skyrockets on tinder, however.