Jan 13, 2021
Welcome to the second annual Donald J. Trump impeachment! David Waldman, Greg Dworkin, and I have a million things to share with you today. Somehow we’ve compressed it down to about 2 hours and a few thousand links:
Donald went to not-the Alamo and found out no one remembered to tell them he was coming. There weren’t many places in Texas that he could have gone to anyhow. If only Trump had his Twitter, he could’ve stopped the violence coming. If he had Parler, Donald could’ve been king of the idiots.
The January 6 raid on the Capitol was an inside job. The insurrectionists knew what to do and where to go. So, who were those inside men and women? The list of suspects is quite short, considering how many future assassins and general knuckleheads wait in the wings. New metal detectors installed in Congress have proven very effective in detecting assholes, although those folks were hardly hiding before. Besides, if you can’t convince them to wear masks, how can you take their guns? Incoming House freshmen have discovered the jerks and cowards in their midst. Kevin McCarthy warned to not point out Republicans voting for impeachment because looneys might kill them. The CIA sees Americans being indoctrinated and radicalized like Islamic terrorists, but ISIS couldn’t have dreamt of surrounding the Capitol and systematically assassinating lawmakers.
Republicans are getting kind of tired of Donald Trump. In reality, they hated him before he was elected, after he was elected, and will be glad to see him gone. Mitch McConnell might give him a swift kick in the ass to help him out the door. Trump's approval rating has cratered in his final days as it turns out that few Americans can really support a cartoon supervillain. The US Chamber of Commerce supports democracy. New York City is terminating its Trump contracts. Pro-Trump DC is getting cancelled, evan as a group promises $50 million to Republicans that vote to impeach. Therefore, Five House Republicans will be voting for impeachment and there will be more. Nancy Pelosi has named the Managers for the unification of American society. Too bad we can’t put all the Trumps on the docket and bring true peace.