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Kagro in the Morning


Jul 20, 2020

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David Waldman and Greg Dworkin, disquisition and persiflage, weather and traffic on the 10s:

John Lewis, also known as “Elijah Cummings” to the profoundly ignorant and self-serving, passed away at 80 and will be missed. Donald Trump tweeted a eulogy while leaving the golf course.

Then, Fox News grandpa wandered into Fox News. What was he thinking? Donald Trump couldn’t walk out of Fox News when he had something to prove. Fox News couldn’t throw softball questions at Trump when they had something to prove. But—had Donald chose this moment to announce his new VP choice, none of Trump’s little gaffes would be a concern today.

Meanwhile, unmarked cars, with unidentified abductors, kidnap people to unidentified locations. They warn witnesses that if they follow, they will be shot. In the United States of America. Trump is attempting in Portland what he plans for all of us, to motivate us all to switch from paint cans and water bottles over to molotov cocktails and IEDs. Some day, they’ll erect statues to the real heros.

The COVID-19 pandemic is here. BORING! Donald Trump searches for fun elsewhere. He’d rather not talk about it, and would prefer the CDC stayed quiet as well. Others can’t leave the subject, or their hospital beds for that matter. Older children spread coronavirus as well as adults, and work longer hours. Teachers will need to wear masks, sheilds, caps, and should update their wills.

Deborah Birx’ political skills made her the most powerful person on the coronavirus task force, and ruined her credibility forever.

Science marches on. Oxford and AstraZeneca might have a vaccine that increases antibodies and immunity. The Lancet describes phase 1 & 2 trials of vaccines that are both safe and effectivethe two things you’d want in a vaccine! Almost too good to be completely true, a scientist has developed a paint that kills coronavirus on contact, wiping out the virus for months... like Raid for COVID… or maybe it’s like Teflon, and the viruses just slide off?

People on the front lines are creating new solutions every day, such as this paramedic’s innovative way to communicate with hard of hearing patients while wearing a face mask.

Former DOJ attorney John Yoo resurfaces, disappointing those who hoped he was a bit more absorbent than buoyant. Yoo says Trump has gone too far… No wait, John has a book coming out, and Trump’s the Good Guy, therefore the Supreme Court are the Baddies. Then there’s Allen West! Say no more.

The good news is Joe Biden, and there’s nothing Donald Trump can do about it. The election is closer than you think, although everybody on Earth wouldn’t mind it a little sooner. Including John Kasich!