Wed, 29 July 2020
Joe Biden hasn’t yet announced his VP choice, so David Waldman and Greg Dworkin present a KITM that we can listen to while we wait:
Have you been saving your urine for something important? Dr. Stella Immanuel wants dibs. If he scores that second term, Donald Trump is on the record as being very impressed with Stella’s Witchfinder General curriculum vitae. Her ABEM seems kinda FUBAR though.
Trump’s declining approval now includes Republican declining approval. Donald Trump faces a much bigger task than he did in 2016 The thing is, Donald has never been that big on tasks. Absentee voting requests are skyrocketing. Republicans can only wish dead people voted as often as they’ve claimed. Donald turned off the lights in Michigan, just as Joe turned them on in Georgia. Trump is losing blue collars in Scranton. Independents go blue everywhere. Joe’s voters begin to feel the love, Donald’s are just going to stick around until one of them dies. You can believe the polls, if not the interpreters.
Republicans literally can’t believe the mess they’re in. Like their constituents, they need to really feel the symptoms before they can imagine the illness. By the way, Louis Gohmert has tested positive. How a neurological disease latched onto those three brain cells, we might never know. If these guys can't deal with a pandemic in their midst, how can they deal with… anything? Don’t worry, Donald Trump assures us that federal troops will be deploying into urban centers in swing states with vaccine guns in the near future.
What does Donald talk to Vlad about? Oh, nothing important.
Martha McSally promised voters that her campaign would "suspend all campaign fundraising" but she didn’t say they wouldn’t be collecting a little pocket money.
Black Lives Matter protests attract white supremacists, boogs, Hells Angels Aryan Cowboy Brotherhood, etc., and Black lives are probably not their #1 priority. The “Umbrella Man” was a white supremacist. Meanwhile, if you’re walking to your post office, and one fed says “Hands up!”, while the other says “Freeze!”, you just disobeyed one of them, a federal offence. Here, sign this.