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Kagro in the Morning


Jun 3, 2020

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The Siskel and Ebert of American politics, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin, give this Wednesday two thumbs down.

This week is the week Donald Trump finally became Darth. All across DC, Storm Troopers are finely arrayed, AT-ATs are at the ready, and Tie Fighters fill the sky. Glorious

It began Monday with the first strains of John Williams score rising as cameras followed Trump and his all-white entourage marching across Lafayette Park, met by Empress Ivanka, there to present Donald with his second favorite book after Art of the Deal, his beloved Bible… Well, “a” Bible… aka, “The Holy Prop”. Hey! No spoilers for Gop senators, as none of them have seen it yet. After this blockbuster wraps, the White House will begin production of their ”The Omen” reboot.

The protests have been peaceful, until the cops show up… or, the bureau of federal prisons special operations response team, the 91st Military Police Battalion… or whoever these guys are. None of them will miss their chance to beat a black guy or a journalist… or, maybe shoot them, and not with paintballs either. But don’t worry, when the 82nd Airborne runs out of bullets for any American civilian protesters, they will have their bayonets. Police now lay out pallets of paint cans and bricks, go back to their hunting blinds, and wait.

Arlington police decide none of this is for them, and go back to Virginia to be peace officers. DC says they didn’t want them here anyhow. The DEA will hunt down the protesters of the killers of George Floyd, with special emphasis on whomever Donald Trump points at today.

Listen, if you didn’t want violence and brutality in your neighborhood, you should have tipped your police better. You can’t reform the police if you first lose your job.

Donald was just looking under his desk for something, not hiding under it! While he was down there, BLM support surged, as most Americans can see racism Isn’t being taken seriously enough. Steve King’s racism was taken seriously enough to get him ousted off the Republican ticket. Ferguson, Missouri elected their first black mayor, who is also their first woman mayor.

While hatred for Donald Trump grows, so does the love for Joe Biden.  Joe Biden’s former boss and good buddy, the President of the United States Barack Obama will be sending the love tonight.