Thu, 3 June 2021
Due to a technical mishap, today’s KITM when ran backward does not reveal any QAnon directives, but instead plays a Carrot Top standup routine from 2005. We regret the error.
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here to put our outrages in context:
QAnon turns out to be a big old can of mixed nuts. Not by coincidence, so are Trump followers and Republicans. The GQP has long lost track of who’s leading or following in their party, and frankly would rather not know. Greg Gutfeld at Fox advocates for Vladimir Putin to have Joe Biden killed, as if there wasn’t a rule about saying things like that somewhere. More than 100 scholars believe this behavior might lead to bad things in the future. Democrats have just the solution, which David brought up to Barack Obama about a dozen years ago, and now that Barack has put some thought into it, believes maybe he had a point there.
Longtime fans of the From the Desk of Donald J Trump were disappointed when the blog became yet another victim of liberal cancel culture. Trump will return to live performances while arrangements are made to relocate the desk of Donald J. Trump back into the White House. Laura Trump swears she hasn’t heard a thing, while the rest of conservative media look at their feet and try to move upwind.
Bibi Netanyahu is heading the way of The Donald, but won’t bother with a blog, as he is already aware that no one likes him. An historic coalition of non-cicada eating political leaders oppose Bibi enough to set aside some of their other differences.
The evil organization REvil joins DarkSide, and probably SPECTRE and Hydra, in their efforts to bemuse the Russian government while costing individual American companies millions of dollars through seeming unstoppable extortion. What can multi-billion dollar US businesses do? What would fictional American businessman Michael Corleone do?