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Kagro in the Morning

Sep 25, 2018

David Waldman brings us another installment of The Brett Kavanaugh show, which is OK, because it takes a lot of attention and work to dislodge an infestation this ingrown and intractable.

Many are jumping ship on Kavanaugh before they are mistaken for vermin. Donald Trump wants the Kavanaugh confirmation done yesterday (because that was the last time he had a chance). As per tradition, Brett went before cameras with his wife staring lovingly into his ear as he threw out some last desperate lies.

Meanwhile, all of Kavanaugh’s actions recorded over time contradict his recollections. Unless he was lying then... no wait, that makes him exactly just as bad.

Donald reminds women that if they ever run into a problem, and they’re drunk, they’ve got nothing. Paula Apynys (aka Paula Writer) tells us that it doesn’t matter when assault victims speak up. People will always say they are too late. Barring the truth, and Trump always bars the truth, the only solutions remaining for Kavanaugh are cheating, and chaos. So, how about a little Rod Rosenstein smoke bomb? If it’s not a bluff, there’s always someone smirking in the shadows waiting to take over.

Donald Trump’s standup routine is a surprise hit at the UN.