Fri, 6 December 2019
David Waldman brings us to the weekend...The weekend? What’s that doing here? Who has the time?
Listen, if we don’t get impeachment out of the way soon, Donald Trump won’t be able to get a fast acquittal, and his related storylines of “complete exoneration” and “deep state conspiracy” won’t get proper traction before the election... Luckily for Trump, Nancy Pelosi, although opposed at almost every turn, has finally succeeded in drawing up some quick articles of impeachment for him.
Yet, who knows what the future could bring for Donald and Nancy’s plans? Adam Schiff and maybe several others still have tricks up their sleeves. Bill Barr and Rudy Colludy continue to add to impeachable offences and motivations every moment. Rudy’s an overachiever, making points on what Trump would have been obligated to do if he were honest, and flying (at... someone’s expense) back out to Ukraine to visit with the “Ukrainian Putin” and every henchman in every trenchcoat in every alley of Kyiv. And, of course, Trump is still Trumping.
Evil Corp minions have not been connected to Donald Trump as of press time.
All this, plus—KITM correspondents!
If nuclear first strikes are made illegal, only criminals will order first strikes. An Asparagus Zucchini (a zucchini with asparagus limbs) could tell you that, and he does, by reporting Democratic presidential candidates’ positions on this very policy in a recorded correspondence.