Tue, 23 June 2020
No one wants Tuesday, so David Waldman is regifting it to us:
The KITM Official Style Guide is imprecise on this point, but I believe the proper usage is that Brad Parscale really “shit” the bed last Saturday night leading into the Tulsa MAGA rally. No time to change the sheets before Arizona. And, William Barr has “shitted” many beds as attorney general, but none like he that bed he “shat” firing Geoffrey Berman. It’ll take a while for the DOJ to air out.
Republican Martha McSally proposes that big government pay people not to work, while spreading disease.
An Oregon Church opened in accordance Donald Trump’s demands that states allow churches to open, and now have over 90% of the coronavirus cases in their county. They wouldn’t have any cases if Trump had stopped testing earlier, only a couple dozen random deaths. The world's top-ranked men's tennis player, Novak Djokovic, and his wife took tests and look what happened to them.
Official fall guy Mike Pence almost fell off Air Force Two. The scene of a confrontation between protesters and police is the last place that the White House wants reporters. Are you looking to recreationally beat people, but really aren’t a police officer? it’s now easier than ever! Just slip on some body armor and slide into a riot line.