Thu, 3 December 2020
Wed, 2 December 2020
Joe Biden needs to get all of his ducks in a row, now. With Democrats, that means herding a lot of cats, a Nancy Pelosi specialty. David Waldman examines the process of arraying caucus constituencies in the steering and policy committee memberships. Whoever gets to steer will wield a lot of power, and there are a few theories of who will most deserve to take the wheel.
Greg Dworkin, temporarily distracted by fox news, calls in with a coronavirus update. Cases, hospitalisations, deaths, and heartbreak are due to take a leap this week. Coronavirus was in the US earlier than we thought. The CDC will shorten their recommended quarantine for COVID-19 exposure. Hang on, help is coming. Remember, to be safe always wear a mask!
Donald Trump mulls over handing out pardons to his eldest children and Uncle Rudy... probably Jared, not that goody two shoes Tiffany... and that wife he’ll need going into 2024. Other than that — Oh, who are we kidding? The dude’s a vending machine. Everyone has their price, and Donald’s is what you got on you. (Wait for his after Christmas sale, second week in January.)
Meanwhile, Trump will burn it all down before he gives Joe Biden a thing. He wants the Supreme Court to throw out somewhere between 80 thousand and 7 million votes, whatever it takes. Mike Flynn calls for a military coup. The White Tea Party Committee (WTPC) calls for martial law, civil war... and safe elections just like Ohio’s — except impeach Mike Dewine. Ron Johnson could say something, but it would be political suicide, perhaps the real kind, too. Of course, sticking with Trump is just as suicidal, and even more likely to kill bystanders. Kelly Loeffler cuts off her own avenue of escape. How many people does Trump have to kill before Twitter removes the tags from his tweets? If you join a Republican suicide pact, make certain you have a tight grip before jumping off that bridge.
Brad Parscale took every inch of Trump’s love, and should be thankful he got out when he did.
Tue, 1 December 2020
We made it to December! Only 24 more days until… Only 50 more days until the Inauguration of Joe Biden as the president of the United States! Ho ho ho!
David Waldman and Joan McCarter bring us some glad tidings early:
Joe Biden is packing many welcome stocking-stuffers into his bag, including a way-overdue COVID stimulus and executive order patches to build us back better. Democracy gets treats while Trumpers and their moles get the sack. It will be easy to cut Trump from intelligence briefings by just enforcing normal standards for trustworthiness.
This will all be easier with a couple of new Georgia Senators. Donald Trump called Georgia governor Brian Kemp to call off the runoff elections, or maybe all elections, because who needs them? Brian is going to get a new phone for Christmas. Donald’s getting nothing from Santa.
Donald Trump gave Michael Flynn the gift that keeps on giving, a preemptive pardon. Rudy the red-nosed wanker is first in line for what’s bound to be the hottest gift for Trumpers this year. Experts like Emptywheel are reading the fine print, and suggest some might be getting more than they hoped for.
One of Jared Kushner’s many awful gift ideas, Scott Atlas, prime example of the Trump Trollocracy, is now past his expiration date. More than the average troll, Scott helped kill hundreds of thousands while in his position and hundreds of thousands will die because of him in the future. The organizer of anti-COVID lockdown rallies in Pennsylvania got a COVID test prior to meeting with Donald Trump, and you know what that means.
Darwin H.M., @Darwin_Darko to you and me, describes why it is time to leave Afghanistan, before one more American is killed. Trump hopes to sell the United Arab Emirates billions of dollars worth of arms that they plan to regift soon.
Mon, 30 November 2020
It’s almost December? Why isn’t it almost January? David Waldman and Greg Dworkin distract us with facts, news and wisdom while we wait:
Come with me and you'll be... in a world of half imagination! Even Wonka couldn’t have handled as much fantasy as the Trump administration is handing out lately. 20+ days of Donald Trump and his supporters refusing to accept “You get nothing! You Lose! Good day sir!” In fact, America has been telling him that for about 2000 days, but he and his parasites are quite difficult to dislodge. Still, conspiracists might have bitten off more than they can chew in Georgia, because if they are to be believed, why vote? And, if they aren’t to be believed, why listen to them? Brian Kemp is giving Donald endorsement remorse but not much else.
Meanwhile, Don Jr. and Eric get free helicopter rides on Marine One in their new Uday-Qusay members only jackets for their last chance to infect the help on the taxpayer dime. COVID-19 continues to separate the deluded from the enlightened, with patients denying the horror as their caregivers relive it. Senator David Perdue saw a lot of people that wouldn’t be needing their money anymore.
Over on the thinking side of politics, there are some counterintuitive lessons. In Georgia’s runoffs, Jon Ossoff succeeds by embracing Bernie Sanders and Slutty Vegans. Chris Krebs explains to 60 Minutes how the election was made secure by prioritizing paper ballots. While the chances for something catastrophic happening to democracy are dropping, the chances for something stupid happening remain at 100%. Winning Georgia’s Senate seats will take us a long way towards a functioning government. David maps out the electoral process well into the political twilight zone.
Fri, 27 November 2020
Mmm — leftovers! Not here though. David Waldman and Armando deliver a piping fresh KITM right to your ears today. Don’t bother to get off the couch, just finish off that can of cranberry sauce and tub of Cool Whip, and tune in!
Diaper Don sat behind his widdle desk yesterday and had only widdle things to say. Hell yes, Donald Trump is “stepping down” for Joe Biden, of course, he’s not coming to the inauguration. We’ve had Trump’s number for some time now. He’ll continue to destroy the country of course, but that’s barely been a side interest for him. Real despotism is a lot of work. Pardoning people takes so little effort that he can work a couple in between holes.
The Right loves dead liberals. That’s because people actually respect dead liberals, plus you can have them say whatever you want. Almost as good, are fake ex-liberals, because you know they’re going where the grift is deepest and won’t get tripped up by any sticky ideology. Things will be fine, if you only remember to not give your money to them. A guy dropped $2.5 million on True the Vote Inc., which bought him “vague responses, platitudes, and empty promises” — exactly what he payed for. Hopefully, none of you paid for a Kraken, because the delivery date keeps getting pushed back, and release might not be so imminent.
Thu, 26 November 2020
Welcome to our annual KITM Thanksgiving Special, with your hosts, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin, and their special guests, the Loudoun County Rockettes! Brought to you by… you. We sure couldn’t have done it without you. We’re still grateful for you, even if your name might possibly be mispronounced by us. (David’s got “Nevada”, “Latiñes” and “Latines” down pat, now if only he could say “adversary”…)
There is a lot to be thankful for! 80,000,000 legal votes. 306 electoral votes. Over 30 transparently idiotic lawsuits, and counting. Several of the dumbest, craziest lawyers in the country. We should thank The Resistance, fighting from the last inauguration right up to this one. And, the few, proud, honest Republicans... Webcams on laptops, relaying LGBT bashers’ laptops to Zoom. And, John P. Flannery, the Robert Redford of Willy Wonkas, all out there, fighting the good fight.
Yesterday, the Trump Supreme Court and their new superspreader Justice put a big boot heel on both state’s rights, and public health by blocking New York’s coronavirus restrictions on houses of worship, formally trading “latte drinking Prius drivers” with “wine drinking bicycle riders” in the Supreme Court lexicon.
Meanwhile, we die from a preventable disease. Idiocy remains popular in South Dakota. You can even lose your job if you aren’t one. West Virginia can’t keep up... in fact, they don’t really want to. Perhaps, if we only had more self-destructive door-knockers, we’d have more Democrats in Congress.
Wed, 25 November 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are in for a pre-Thanksgiving KITM, and just so you don’t miss them, they’ll be back for Thanksgiving too!
Today, Donald Trump will reveal election blockbuster news in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania at… psych! Donald’s currently pantsless watching TV, unwilling to even assist his loyal stooges in destroying America.
President-elect Joe Biden is president. Trump has been in absentia since he started. The election wasn’t close, but it was a nail-biter for democracy for a while. The election proves Republicans don’t care about America, or they only care about the America who voted for them, who pretty much hate America. The Republican officials that saved the country were heretics and apostates that prefer facts and truth and democracy and integrity over party. They will be dealt with accordingly. For your weekend reading (Sure, it is Wednesday, but it will take you till Monday to read all of it.) check out the essential and extensive inside story Michigan’s fake voter fraud scandal. Of course, this won’t be the end of it. Mostly Black, urban areas like Detroit will have to keep on fighting.
The transition delay is going to cost lives. Nearly a sixth of the Senate Republican caucus has tested positive for coronavirus, as none of them are smart enough to wear a mask, and watching Hannity makes them more stupid every day.
History will demand to know why we didn’t put Donald Trump in front of a firing squad. Donald Trump would want a state funeral and burial at Arlington Cemetery if only for the reason that they’d be taxpayer funded, and an eternal grift.
Jared and Ivanka pulled their 3 kids from a DC Jewish school, and you can be sure the school had a cake that day to celebrate. Unfortunately, that means Javanka had to go somewhere else, and there goes that neighborhood.
Meanwhile, Republicans quietly plot to sink Biden nominees. Steven Mnuchin will put $455 billion where Janet Yellen can’t get to it. Fraudster John Lott has has quickly slid into the Justice Department. The Office of Management and Budget gets Schedule F’ed. Trump unlocks the backdoor for Russia and throws away the key.
Tue, 24 November 2020
Get in. David Waldman takes the wheel and drives us another 2 hours away from the last 4 years.
Today, Trump will pardon the national Thanksgiving turkey. On January 20, he’ll be dragged, kicking and screaming, sadly metaphorically, from the White House. In between, it will just be the usual bitter, corrupt bs that fewer and fewer should pay attention to. Except prosecutors. They need to listen up.
Unfortunately, objects like Donald are always closer than they appear. From now on, even landslide election wins will be challenged. Pennsylvania Republicans voted against certification of a county that Trump won by 22,000 votes. Misinformation superspreaders, White-power terrorists and Dimwit Republicans have more power than ever, and all of them are armed. Back in the day, Senators didn’t need a gun to win an argument, when a cane would do. Of course, guns always do it more efficiently and from a distance.
How much more real can COVID-19 get? In all 50 states deaths are higher than normal. Sturgis-borne coronavirus has spread like locusts back out to the coasts. Correspondent Brian Munroe and Dan Rather try to bring perspective to the plague.
Mon, 23 November 2020
Donald Trump isn’t quite gone, but little by little, he is going. You can feel the weight slowly lifting. KITM can now tackle “Flea bites Johnny Rotten’s penis” stories, and finally take the time to consider Flea’s perspective…
Sidney Powell’s leopard print camouflaged her so well that the Trump team didn’t notice her prowling their stages and tweets. The Kraken isn’t under the bus yet, though. She’s just more of a freelance lunatic now.
No, you do not have to feel the Trump voter's pain. They aren’t here to feel yours. Mitch McConnell isn’t going to see it Joe Biden’s way. Republicans said Donald Trump shouldn’t be impeached, because it would hurt our government, but Republicans always make certain that governance doesn’t work, because that is what their voters expect from their world. GSA Emily Murphy isn’t interested in making government function, because she understands that wasn’t the job she was hired for. Republican senators hate Donald Trump, but dislike a functioning process even more.
For people like that, there is jail. The Michigan attorney general is looking into criminal probes of state and local officials. Would prosecuting Donald Trump restore the rule of law? It couldn’t hurt.
A newspaper photographer was chased from a boys baseball game in Arizona for being “fake news”. Meanwhile, there are no more ICU beds available in Arizona. A record 83,870 people are currently hospitalized with COVID-19, while half the US is stuck in 1919. We need more war correspondents reporting from the COVID-19 front lines. Put on your mask and hang on, help is coming.
Fri, 20 November 2020
David Waldman was almost “too busy” to bring us a new KITM for today! Can you imagine? There is so much to talk about, and who knows how much time left to talk about it.
Things are so insane, David had to release the Kraken, or as we call him, Armando, to help fathom the fusillade of facts and falsehoods flooding the… (I can only think of F-words to describe this situation.)
Joe Biden was elected president. Georgia calls it, again, for Joe. Probably. Michigan probably will certify their state. But, wait, there goes Senator Mike Shirkey and Representative Lee Chatfield to have a chat with Donald at the White House, which would seem ill-advised... unless they planned to overturn the election, subvert democracy, establish a fascist coup d'état, maybe? In reaction, non-coup Republicans have become stern. Democrats, even sterner. AOC’s out there fighting… a different war. Militiamen prepare for a high body count.
Donald Trump is leaving within two months, probably. David and Armando discuss the norms, laws, codes, procedures and penumbral reasoning soon to flushed down the commode, unless people prove they really value those sort of things, and call Trump’s bluff.
Thu, 19 November 2020
How do you write a summary of a wildfire? Is democracy burning down, or is the threat being contained? There are so many fires, and so many arsonists! Here’s where David Waldman and Greg Dworkin were this AM:
The Board of Canvassers in Wayne County, Michigan almost didn’t certify the county’s votes, because of the two certifiable racists who derailed the process, then viral fame ensued. Finally, the two chose to be a footnote, rather than a chapter in future history books, and voted with the others to certify the vote. Donald Trump then called on the two to reach out and tell them what a great job... and life they had to that point, and what a shame it would be if something happened to it. Both now have signed paperwork indicating that they didn’t approve of the votes they had already made. But… of course, they already certified, the process has moved on, the laws the law… the gavel has dropped… right? RIGHT?
Well, one gavel dropped, which used to mean something, but in this particular nightmare there’s a gavel gauntlet waiting, and one or two or five gavels could make trouble. Trump’s team is trying to light too many fires to put out. If the election had been just a little closer it would have been all ashes already.
The Georgia recount won’t shut Trump up. Donald and his team will just get funnier and more dangerous each hour. You know what we should do? We should reach out to Trump supporters, look forward, not back, and let Trump be Trump... legally. Or, not. GSA Emily Murphy might be trying to avoid jail herself, or perhaps she is truly internally struggling in personal anguish, and just wants to be a good soldier... Republicans can’t fight Joe Biden if they have to admit he exists.
Maybe there’s some nuance in politics, and a few conservatives left that might still be communicated with. The ones that don’t watch Fox, and haven’t started watching OANN. The ones that don’t bet on how many of their employees catch COVID-19, or use stimulus money to buy guns. The ones still alive after refusing to wear masks.
Meanwhile, let’s make a note to look into Latiñes concerns, before or if we have another election.
Wed, 18 November 2020
Ever wonder how many times the actions of a few people managed to save us from destruction? Or how many of these situations might occur in, say, the next 60 days? Did you ever think you’d be watching one unfold on Zoom? Trump forces are dropping bombs everywhere, so no matter how ineptly assembled, you should expect some to explode. Democracy almost lost Michigan yesterday when two Wayne County board members decided to not certify their counts. They were forced into retreat even before their Confederate monuments could be built. Things can go back to normal, at least there, at least for now.
In Pennsylvania, they get Rudy Giuliani. Not the best choice, even if you are just planning to drive the case to the Supreme Court. Rudy is charging $20,000 a day, not including his per diem. To think that Donald Trump could’ve went with Scott Baio for Cameo money! Giuliani did spring his alleged lover’s daughter on insurance fraud charges, let’s see Scott try that.
Another guy in search of a few okay lawyers would be Lindsey Graham. The Secretary of the State of Arizona shut down his alibi immediately. Donald Trump’s voter suppression efforts seem to have suppressed Republican votes in Georgia’s presidential election and hopefully, in their Senate runoffs.
All of this is kind of funny, until people die because of it. Most people do blame Trump, unless they are Trump people, and only half of them do. If you wanted to know what’s really going on, you could always ask Christopher Krebs, but today he’s dropping off his resume at Joe Biden headquarters. For now, you will need to ask GSA Administrator Emily Murphy to explain things.
Tue, 17 November 2020
Hmm-Lliiiiiivvvve! David Waldman welcomes KITM’s regular, yet special, Tuesday guest Joan McCarter to discuss the important things happening and not happening today.
Donald Trump, who was never really president, but is now somehow in exile, is plotting his return. About 3000 votes have turned up in Georgia, almost 1000 in the Trump Glorious Victory column. Only several million more to go! Rather than dig up Trump votes, Lindsey Graham realized it would be easier and quicker to just not count Biden votes. So, he rung up Georgia’s secretary of state, and Arizona’s, and Nevada’s to see if any might be able to work in a few felonies into their counts.
Trump’s lawyers also turned out to be slackers when it came to going to jail for their client. Donald knew who he should turn to in times like these, but Rudy Giuliani was available, so he’s got the job. It’s been a while, but Rudy still has a few tricks up his sleeve!
Joe Biden has put together a White House senior staff short on his kids, their in-laws, or even their girlfriends. Donald Trump is still blocking the lot of them. Congress has less than two weeks to keep government funded, or provide COVID-19 relief. Meanwhile, House Democrats will elect most of their leadership team this week. David can give you a tip on how to guess the outcome of these things, although it’s less effective for Republicans.
The toppling of Confederate statues in Portsmouth Virginia led to political retaliation by the police against a state senator and several local Black leaders. So far, the police chief has been fired and the charges dropped.
Mon, 16 November 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin don’t have to explain that to you. Now, how do we clue in the other folks?
The Q Cucks Klan marched on Washington without masks, just as neuroradiologist Scott Atlas called for an uprising against Gretchen Whitmer, who recently escaped from their kidnapping and murder plot. Scott was misunderstood/stupid beyond belief, and even worse, from the Hoover Institute. Candace Owens showed she understands Republican priorities.
Hospitals are in hell. The coronavirus is now a rural and red state threat. Try telling that to people who will die before admitting that they caught Covid. We have a chance to stop this horror/shit show with outreach and messaging… and science! For instance, If it wasn’t for Donald Trump infecting so many Americans, the world wouldn’t have these latest vaccines! Remember that, great “historians”! Ferrets rejoice!
Ignorance and idiocy will continue to grow, because it is so easy to understand and implement selfishness and laziness. Still, there is hope. Mitch McConnell doesn’t run the whole show, and there are methods around his madness. It also turns out that people don’t approve of police riots, and everyone is pretty embarrassed about the electoral college.
Fri, 13 November 2020
Soon, we won’t have Donald Trump to kick around, anymore. Geraldo Rivera says it’s time for Trump to walk away with “grace and dignity.” Easier said than done for Donald. His crazy train has never been on the rails. Don’t be concerned, there’s plenty of nitwits and bozos coming up the ranks to occupy David Waldman each day.
Jonathan Turley used to play a smart guy on TV, but dropped that gig a few years ago. Now he’s Donald Trump’s idea of a smart guy, affecting gravitas on Donald’s all cap tweets about Dominion Voting Systems stealing his votes. You know you’ve hit bottom when you’re being “Well, actually”-ed by Steve Doocy on Fox & Friends. Even extremely progressive blogs aren’t that crazy, lately.
Democrats can fix things... or try to throttle each other into disarray as if power was a finite resource that deplenishes when shared. Power and money, when invested wisely, demonstrates leadership and strength.
Thu, 12 November 2020
Winner, winner, chicken dinner! Joe Biden won! We might as well keep celebrating, as here it is, almost the middle of November, and there are still people just figuring this out. Some Trump followers are coming to grips with reality. Some are following the advice of their chickens and are moving on.
Karl Rove understands the election won’t be overturned. Trump evangelical Robert Jeffress calls Joe Biden “president-elect”. Hugh Hewitt will not only tell you Biden’s the one, but he approves of Joe’s Chief of Staff pick, Ronald Klain. Oklahoma Republican Senator James Lankford says he will fight for Biden’s right to intelligence briefings. Even British Prime Minister Boris Johnson calls Donald Trump America's “previous president”.
No chicken could be as dumb as a focus group undecided voter. Still — a vote is a vote. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Abigail Spanberger both found more votes than their Republican opponents, which is kind of how they won their elections.
The middle of November is also about the time presidents pardon turkeys… and felons. Lame-duck Donald might try to save his own neck from the chopping block. It’s not a good time to be a Trump lawyer. Snell & Wilmer withdraw from their election lawsuit in Maricopa County, Arizona. Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton’s goose might be cooked. James O’Keefe’s stool pigeons find GoFundMe isn’t chicken feed.
Donald Trump’s next target to destroy is Fox News, but generally Donald needs to own a business to destroy it.
The COVID-19 pandemic topped 140,000 cases yesterday, it will continue to become more horrible until the Biden administration can take over, and even then there will be heckling from the sidelines. There is no place to hide, and no “miracle cure”… inoculating against coronavirus is only one of the technological, logistical, and societal hurdles to come.
Wed, 11 November 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin welcome back Denise Oliver Velez, whose inestimable breadth and depth of experience, activism and legacy in racial, cultural and political affairs can illuminate our way out of Donald Trump’s morass.
Today’s principal topic however, and probably the principal topic for America’s foreseeable future, is the Latiñe voting bloc, which can’t be reached with just a few spanish words, and is far from a single voting bloc, with regional, class, religious and racial differences driving their lives and their votes. Trump got out the Hispanic vote across the country by not taking them or their needs for granted.
Nonetheless, Joe Biden won the presidency. Yes, indeed. It’s a slow-motion beat-down, folks. The biggest win for a challenger since FDR. In addition, a team of international observers found no systemic fraud in U.S. elections. The New York Times found no fraud. The AP says there’s no widespread fraud. There is nothing to see here... And, that is why Georgia is going to hand recount all of the votes — to build trust and respect (and watch Donald Trump lose twice).
Tue, 10 November 2020
Tuesday! David Waldman! Joan McCarter! Whoo hoo! That’s the good news… then again:
Maybe Donald isn’t going away.
Donald Trump’s presidency — his entire life — has turned on people believing that absolutely nobody could be that stupid, venal and lazy, and yet here he is proving it, day after day, decade after decade, never paying up. Today he will do everything stupidly wrong, tomorrow he will be back, and worse. Trump is completely ineffectual, and 100% destructive. The more you think about it, the dumber things become. If Joe ever gets in, he’s going to be in so much trouble for the last four years.
Trump’s “last, desperate, laughably weak” attack on Obamacare goes to the Supreme Court this week, and the only people due to suffer will be the ones that need insurance. Mitch McConnell’s cold blue hands squeeze the last breaths out of Covid relief.
Mon, 9 November 2020
Believe it or not, there are some that aren’t taking the news so well. Rudy’s still got a few tricks up his sleeve, and out in the alley. Don Jr., always a great judge of character, believes something is awry. Mike Pence pops up for air and to honor Donald Trump’s invention of Pfizer’s Coronavirus vaccine. Today is the day Joe Biden became President, and Donald Trump should be in nobody’s backyard.
Greg Dworkin describes the beauty of RNA vaccines, and Messenger RNA, as science and expertise head back to the White House. Utah’s Governor finds today is a good day to issue a mask mandate. Greg is also quite happy that dogs and sane people are heading back to the White House. There are plenty of takeaways from the 2020 elections, and one is that we should be holding on to Democracy as tight as Trump holds a flag. It wasn’t a close election, and it is becoming less close the more ballots are counted.
Will Donald Trump, you know... pivot to a Biden post-election transition process? That might be a bit much to ask from the crew that couldn’t Google the correct Four Seasons, but David would be happy to walk them through the handbook if need be.
Fri, 6 November 2020
David Waldman brings us our KITM on the day we’ve all been waiting for: Day One of Donald Trump in exile.
Donald Trump did throw together a victory speech for last night. If you didn’t catch it, there will be a lot more to come. Newt Gingrich demands arrests. Seb Gorka demands storm troopers. Steve Bannon moves toward Games of Thrones solutions (Twitter puts his head on a pike.) Brooks Brothers rioters — except this time heavily armed — head into battleground states. Your puny logic, norms, and laws will be no match for them.
The Secret Service ramps up their protection around Joe Biden.
Meanwhile, Rick Santorum looked nauseous last night on CNN. Just spit it out Santorum! Chew some gum, you’ll feel better! Rick promised on the air that Republicans wouldn’t try anything crazy... like appointing electors to steal the election. Rick speaks for all Republicans, even the lying ones, so that’s that.
The Democrats have won, and as per tradition, their accusations and finger-pointing can now commence. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez will not be made a scapegoat, and instead demands credit. That’s no way to get ahead!
Thu, 5 November 2020
David Waldman welcomes Greg Dworkin, and you to the KITM Almost, but Not Quite 270 Electoral Votes Special.
Donald Trump is still president. Donald’s lawyers and lackies hereby demand the immediate ceasing & continuance of ballot counting. Republicans have come out in support of whatever that is and join in demanding more & less. William Barr might send armed agents to guarantee it happens or stops. It’s right there in the Constitution! Well, it’s somewhere — do your research! The Postal Service will do what it can to slow things down. Someone has to pay, but Louis DeJoy might dash on that bill.
Don’t try to escape, no one will take us.
Democrats know deep down that this is all their fault. Republicans might have trouble winning the popular vote, or governing, but with such a
Wed, 4 November 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin felt it with the rest of us last night, and are here to help get us back on our feet and ready to fight.
Trusted polling authorities will be spending today explaining why people would ever trust them as authorities again, but really, is there vote tampering? Or maybe… possibly... vote tampering? Or maybe, gratification and democracy just are not that instantaneous. David’s own Loudoun county was very red and very blue at times last night.
There is still a lot to count. 300,000 mail ballots were shown as not delivered so a federal judge ordered U.S. Postal Service inspectors to sweep postal facilities. Louis DeJoy told the judge no thank you. A Milwaukee election official was given a police escort to turn in her absentee ballot info.
There is probably good news in Wisconsin, Michigan, Pennsylvania… probably. In fact, there is plenty of good news already. All four members of "the Squad" won easily. Cori Bush became the first black Congresswoman In Missouri history. And Joe Biden broke the record for the most votes ever received by a candidate at a US Presidential Election. Okay, after that there isn’t that much good news to count. Mitch McConnell, no MLK Jr., is back. Lindsey Graham is back. Susan Collins is back. Devin Nunes is back. Even a Republican that died from COVID-19 in October was elected. Democrats are in.. well, you know.
Tue, 3 November 2020
The question on this nation’s minds: Could this possibly be the last Taco Tuesday for this administration?
David Waldman brings on Armando and Joan McCarter to prepare us for today. Listen to them, and you’ll be set. Take a nap until tonight when the action starts.
Battlelines have been drawn. Well, some sure are behaving like a war is coming. Nancy Pelosi is assembling her troops and is ready for anything. Meanwhile, Donald Trump fortified his bunker and has stowed away both Eva and Melania, clearly expecting the worst.
The Trump army of poll-watchers, constipated, paranoid, and... well, they were prepared to Karen up the joint until they found out there was no artillery backup and they still had to wear masks. It’s just no fun being a Trump goon if there’s so many rules to follow.
Frivolous lawsuits are being thrown out left and right, and are tossed right back in again, to then be thrown out again. Of course, all you need is a frivolous judge or two, and as Armando says, their “intervention can be determinative”.
Voters of color will have to work harder to have their ballots count, but when has not been the case? This time however, the military vote is in danger of going Democratic, and so Republicans are taking it out. As for you, stay in line, wear a mask, and protect your vote!
Mon, 2 November 2020
This could end up being a pretty hectic, vexing week. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin present our KITM moment of zen.
If you want to understand 2020, look to 2008, or maybe 1980 or 1932. Just cut it out with those comparisons to 2016. Joe Biden, as always, is ahead nationally, and in swing states, and all over the crosstabs, including Latinos. He has a big lead, people. There’s no such thing as a shy Trump voter. (You can look to their wives and daughters for the shy Biden vote.) In Nevada, Biden’s blue tide raises all votes. If you were to predict a winner, you might in fact say it would be Joe Biden. Donald Trump assures everyone that the polls are fake and he will win, therefore Donald Trump also predicts a Biden win.
Donald Trump is building the wall! The third one, this time unscalable, around the White House. You’d think that would hold Trump until the cops come, but unfortunately Donald still has that helicopter. (He’s just the villain to be prying aide’s fingers off the landing gear as it ascends, too.)
Republicans salt the earth in their retreat, first attacking voting, soon attacking voters. Two judges in Minnesota issued a voting rules order that contradicts the instructions mailed with the ballot. in Texas, Republicans are trying to throw out 100,000+ votes cast at drive-in voting centers that they helped design. In Pennsylvania, Republicans might only need to stall to win. Voting goons are fanning out across battleground states to coerce the vote and case out the polling areas and machines. Expect plenty of post-election goons fanning out as well, with police and party support.
Police took a Black toddler from his family’s SUV. Then, the union used his photo as propaganda.
Fri, 30 October 2020
Did you think that David Waldman would let you go KITM-free, less than 3 and a half days before this election? Are you kidding? David recorded today’s show before — and after his operation yesterday! It took three orderlies to pry the microphone out of his hands.
All this means that Ian Reifowitz can’t make his usual Friday visit. (Don’t let that dissuade your purchase of another copy of The Tribalization of Politics: How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump... Do it.) If Ian was here, do you know what he’d say? He’d say that Donald Trump hasn’t protected pre-existing conditions, and he can’t do it in the future without the Affordable Care Act… not that Trump ever planned to, to begin with.
Personally, I hope Amy McGrath kicks Mitch McConnell into that coal lobbyist position he’s been vying for, for decades. If not, Ian has a plan for Democrats to shove McConnell’s own words on Amy Coney Barrett down his throat. That works too.
Craig McLean was the acting head of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, until he wondered out loud if NOAA officials would behave with integrity. Unfortunately for him, and the rest of us, NOAA officials are Trump stooges.
Is Jared Kushner Trump’s stooge, or visa-versa? No stooge has ever been as privileged, self-entitled, or dangerous as Jared. David was sure his mind couldn’t be more numbed, until he read the transcript of Jared bragging how doctors and scientists were cut out of coronavirus decisions, about 300,000 deaths ago.
Thu, 29 October 2020
David Waldman is out today and tomorrow, and that’s okay. It’s okay because it would be awfully hard to resist vexing ourselves counting chickens that just might be a long way from hatching right now, and it’s okay because David also recorded a BRAND NEW KITM for today!
Let’s talk about Donald Trump’s corruption. That’s an evergreen topic, not only in regards to Donald, but for Republicans in general, many of whom have figured in his schemes before he was elected, and will somehow be carrying on long after he has gone.
“If you don’t give back, you’re never ever going to be fulfilled in life”, as some hack Trump had ghostwrite once said. As for Donald, what’s philanthropy without an angle to grift? Any good deed needs to show a profit, or it isn’t good enough for Donald Trump.
Trump donated $10 million to his 2016 campaign, except it wasn’t a donation, and it wasn’t his money, although he eventually made it his money. This time, Donald isn’t donating, and yet is probably raking it in. Does Trump take his money to the Chinese laundry?
Remember when Trump was suing Omarosa Manigault Newman? That might not happen since Trump has been stiffing his own lawyers. Anyhow, he might not want to get Omarosa mad. She could have a sequel in the works.
Joe Biden will have his work cut out for him, but the first thing he will need to do is bring back intelligence to the White House.
Wed, 28 October 2020
David Waldman is live today! He’s live Thursday and Friday also, but the KITMs, full of brand-new goodness, will be recorded. You’ll love them just as much!
Greg Dworkin asks us to keep our hands and feet inside the Pollercoaster… but you know what? Let’s see those hands over your heads — this ride is getting fun! Joe Biden is locking down Michigan and Wisconsin and double digiting nationally. Gen Z/Millennials have doubled over 2016. Down ballot is looking rosy as well. Blue-rosy.
Trump’s Omaha fans, who apparently don’t believe in COVID, can now attest that global warming is also a hoax. Will Donald’s inept handling of the his own rally, potentially endangering his own voters, because he stiffed the bus company affect Donald Trump’s chance of reelection? It probably won’t help.
Less than a week away from the election and the “How Trump Can Win” articles are finally slipping under “How Trump Can Lose” articles. It still is pretty certain that if Trump loses, he won’t be a good loser, and neither will his supporters. We already know that though, and are prepared to deal with them… most of them. There is the chance Donald Trump could call for… well, violent insurrection and political assassination... as he is sometimes wont to do. Democratic Governor Gretchen Whitmer was targeted, as well as Republican Governor Mike DeWine. Boogs are conspiring with cop killers and Hamas to ignite civil war…
Tue, 27 October 2020
Amy Coney Barrett is a Supreme Court justice. Well, not yet. She’s Donald Trump’s, Mitch McConnell’s and Leonard Leo’s show pony with only a fake swearing in at the White House. Eventually, it will be true, and at that point she will be one of the five justices appointed by presidents that lost the popular vote. The senators that voted for her represent 15 million fewer Americans than the Democrats (Ok, and Susan Collins) that didn’t. In fact, Republican presidents have named 15 of 19 justices. Republicans pick “originalist” judges, in that they “originally” wanted certain outcomes and are now in a position to declare that was the outcome all along.
The Supreme Court shadow docket now has the power to come out of the shadows. They haven’t agreed with most people for over 50 years, but who’s to stop them now? They only need to listen to a couple of dissenters, and then dictate history to the other 330 million.
Mon, 26 October 2020
Ready for some tough answers? David Waldman and Greg Dworkin aren’t going anywhere, especially this close to the big day. Democrats do have a place to go — the polls, with almost half already voting. This isn’t 2016, people! Joe Biden has a whole new coalition. Texas will have a couple million more voters, more Democrats, and one third more unmarried women. Joe’s nailing down battleground states and closing off Donald Trump’s paths of escape.
Greg dares to suggest what many of us dare not consider… Gulp!... We might win. Of course the election isn’t over until Donald Trump’s gone. Joe and Kamala will have to play hardball against a party with few ties to reality and nothing to win for except their own existence. Donald can always go back to the consulting job he had back in… 2018. The rest, however, have their backs against the wall and nowhere to go. Intimidation tactics will become worse with desperation.
If you had to set up grandpa Donald’s twitter account, what would you give him for a password?
Fri, 23 October 2020
Only 10 more shopping days before the 2020 United States presidential election! Time to stock up on Ian Reifowitz’s The Tribalization of Politics: How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump. Ian is David Waldman’s guest on Friday KITMs through the election. (Or as long as we can get him!) Race and class are linked in America, so it makes sense for Democrats to create solutions that address both as a combined reality, to address Republican’s intention to divide and conquer.
Donald Trump, King of Israel, wishes he could’ve debated Moses last night, but had to settle for Joe Biden. Ian assures us that Trump is not making inroads with American Jewish voters, with the possible exception of some Orthodox Hasidic Jews. It’s not just the masks that take the curl out of their payot, it’s that Republican partisanship is becoming as expected of them as it is of evangelical Christians.
The debates are over. Donald Trump made the 12th hour pivot away from being carried away in a straightjacket, and just behaved more like an abuser that can’t get you alone right now. Oh, but don’t worry… He’s got plans. If Louis DeJoy and Amy Coney Barrett can’t save him, expect Donald Trump to salt the earth in his retreat. Trump has issued a sweeping order for career federal employees to lose civil service protections to take those that he says are the deep state and making them what everyone knows to be the swamp.
Thu, 22 October 2020
It’s 11 days, 12 hours, 12 minutes and 26 seconds until the election, give or take… Deep breaths! Why is it still so far away? Listen to today’s KITM with David Waldman and Thursday’s guest Greg Dworkin, and another two hours will fly by!
Indeed, the presidential campaign really ends in just a few hours at the conclusion of tonight’s debate. This is Donald Trump’s one last chance for that one grand pivot into presidential behavior. It’s also his last chance to be a real dick... Tormenting Joe Biden over Hunter is the very least he could do tonight. Joe is already set with his Supreme Court answer.
The polls can’t be cheering up Donald lately. Demographics is yet another aspect of reality not in his favor. Adjusting for race can spoil a pollster’s aim, but Greg always adjusts for windage, elevation and skewage.
Even with a loss, Donald Trump is set to torture us for 11 weeks following the election. He wouldn’t miss that for the world. Christopher Wray and William Barr do not bring joy to Trump and shouldn’t be expecting an invitation to Melania’s Christmas party. The FBI hasn’t found Russians behind the Hunter Biden laptop scheme… yet.
Qatar and the United Arab Emirates have been leaking emails to journalists with the help of Elliott Broidy, but with Broidy going away, what will they do? Expect a presidential pardon, as Elliott Broidy is the reason Donald Trump doesn’t have to wear condoms, and you can’t lose a wingman like that.
11 days, 10 hours, 30 minutes and 34 seconds...
Wed, 21 October 2020
David Waldman presents another Kagro in the Morning, with only 7 more to go before the election!
Greg Dworkin reminds us to wear a mask. Also, get out and vote while you still can. In the past couple of weeks about 10,000 families lost a loved one to COVID-19. All of them probably wish they could have received some of that miracle cure Donald Trump promised to hand out… probably even Melania. If only the dead and dying could just make up their minds on what cure they want! Donald is bored, and moves on.
Trump wants more rallies, maybe 5 a day, to remind those stupid saps of how much he hates seeing them. Ralliers undoubtedly feel the same way. After all, it isn’t love that brings them together, you know.
2020 is no time for roundtable punditry to discuss political theater, because Donald Trump has killed presidential showbiz forever. Trump did make a pitch for Bob Hope fans, now that he’s losing in the 100 and under demographic. (Bob wouldn’t have voted for him either.)
Millions upon millions already have voted, and Donald is losing bad where he won a little, which is not good… for him. Who knows what it will take to beat Trump, but even more of this would be really nice.
Louis DeJoy is attempting to keep Post Office shenanigans under wrap until the election.
Even the Proud Boys couldn’t be stupid enough to send email threats, could they?
Rudy’s been caught toobin’.
Tue, 20 October 2020
Yesterday it was reported that Jeffrey Toobin exhibited his boredom with a Zoom staff meeting, you know, like we all do… perhaps a bit more “literally” than most. In unrelated news, David Waldman has not set yet up the “exclusive video option” for KITM deluxe subscribers. You never know the benefits increased editorial freedoms might bring!
No, wait. Yes you do! Armando, yes Armando, returns for the first 3/4’s of the entire show! As in the past, the conversation was wide ranging, covering the polling experience in Florida, pre-election voting, LV vs RV polling (forget LV, everyone’s LV), the mail-in voter advantage… or not, and the methods and timing of vote counts in Florida and elsewhere. Texas will let you know about your rejected ballot some time during the following administration. A Kentucky postal worker forgot to sift through the mail he wasn’t delivering for ballots, and now he’s in trouble. Fox News frighten their viewers one voter at a time.
The U.S. Supreme Court declined to take up an emergency stay called for by Republicans, allowing Pennsylvania to count absentee ballots received as late as the Friday after Election Day, so long as they are postmarked by Nov. 3. The court allowed this by a 4-4 split, and we all know what that means. Amy Coney Barrett could be the only vote Donald Trump needs to buy this year, however, if she’s caught it could stymie her future handmaidenly endeavours. Even Joe Biden might be ready to pack the court after that.
If Amy Coney Barrett doesn’t come through, Donald Trump is going to have to shoot his way out of the White House, or at least he needs Bill Barr to cover him while he makes a break for it. History will prosecute those that didn’t prosecute Trump when they had a chance.
Mon, 19 October 2020
Hundreds of thousands of non-conforming individualists at the Sturgis rally followed each other off the coronavirus cliff, superspreading across some red states and leaving a tab for $12.2 billion for the rest of us. On his upcoming Fox Network flagship promotional tour… or possibly auditioning to be Alex Jones’ sidekick, Donald Trump sows Covid like a dipshit Johnny Appleseed. The U.S. records over 70,000 cases in one day for the first time since July, and Governors haven’t been clued into how they’ll distribute vaccines even when they do get one.
Dems are in array with each other, but also with Never Trumpers, Recently Not Trumpers, and Undecided, But Not Really Trumpers, leaving Kirstie Alley, maybe Matt “Rick” Gaetz and a few others. Joe Biden leads Trump like Hillary did, but a lot better. Donald is running out of battleground states to battle in. Trump is in trouble unless he can cure the pandemic and resuscitate 300,000 people in the next 14 days. Manufacturing Hunter Biden stories just won’t do it.
Fri, 16 October 2020
It’s Friday! That’s the day David Waldman welcomes coffee enhanced Ian Reifowitz, author of The Tribalization of Politics: How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump (Two new hardcover copies would make attractive bookends in your Reifowitz-themed library!)
Last night NBC essentially retweeted crazy Uncle Donald’s far-right, conspiratorial bull pellets which could only be palatable to his base. Ian explains why Biden is crushing Trump among women. Biden’s town hall is crushing Low T’s in ratings.
Donald Trump was warned repeatedly about Rudy Colludy Giuliani being utilized as a Russian stooge, but actually kind of liked that about him. The guy that handed the laptop off to Rudy can’t keep his stories straight, but did bring Seth Rich back into the lunatic conversation. The FBI is finally getting involved — to investigate the links to foreign agents. This does not bode well for Rudy. Has anything ever boded well for Rudy?
Get out the vote for Joe Biden and David will have more time to cover stories like the alleged trespassing, anti-semitic, sexting, death-threatening, booze-cookie eating news anchor/Guilfoyle doppelganger vs. the Mayor of Anchorage!
Thu, 15 October 2020
NBC news running the Donald Trump disinfomercial tonight to make some money. Who knows what Donald hopes to get out of it. Trump’s polling hasn’t recovered from the last debate. He sure could use some money however, so perhaps it will be more of a telethon.
COVID-19 is death and the White House is doubling down on it. If you’re giving out coronavirus on Halloween and Thanksgiving, it just might save you a lot on your Christmas gift shopping. A Sweet 16 party in New York was made unforgettable for at least the 37 infected and the 270 in quarantine. The real parties are being thrown by insiders that knew than with White House lamebrains in charge, it was time to sell short. The Biden campaign cancelled Kamala Harris’s travel through Sunday after her communications director tested positive. Meanwhile, Donald Trump personally breathed on each person in Air Force One. Commercial aircraft are pretty safe already, with a heap of HEPA, but could be made even more safe by countering your air gasper with theirs.
November 3rd is weeks away! Joe Biden is not out of the woods yet, slipping to… a double digit lead. Iiiiffff Joe Biden wins, the fight doesn’t end. 64 elected prosecutors, including 10 state AGs, pledged not to criminalize abortion even if the Trump Supreme Court guts or overturns Roe v. Wade.
Wed, 14 October 2020
Welcome to the middle of the week, the middle of October, the middle of ...
Donald Trump has handled top issue facing the country the worst. Coronavirus has hit Americans financially and emotionally. Worst yet for Trump, journalists are not immune. About 75,000 more Americans died than had been reported in the spring and summer. Small gatherings are causing new COVID-19 infections, just in time for Thanksgiving. The White House promotes herd immunity, as recommended by non-living people. Alaska is no longer a member of the "Under 10K Club”, as thousands of younger Alaskans get sick with COVID-19. The Sturgis wave continues to cross the US. Germans avoided coronavirus like they avoided unemployment. Michigan passes some midnight Covid bills.
Quick, read up about Rudy Colludy Giuliani’s October surprise before they open the windows and it fades away. It’s not weird that there would be issues with a New York Post story, or that it contain lies and omissions, but why are people that should know better by now being suckered by it? Trump’s corrupt schemes to save himself keep blowing up in his face. Trump’s “unmasking probe” ends without charges, or a public report, and probably without William Barr soon. Think of how much easier this would have been for Trump with just one more Supreme Court Judge.
Tue, 13 October 2020
Today, David Waldman, "OG filibuster buster", talks with Eli Zupnick, former communications director for Senator Patty Murray, and soldier in the growing anti-filibuster armies mobilizing to defend democracy! For 45 minutes!
Donald Trump... You know the guy — some think he’s Jesus, he thinks he’s Superman? Sadly, Donald hasn’t tried flying or walking on water yet, but he has returned to breathing upon his tightly corralled flock. News outlets aren’t true believers, however, and are pulling any journalists they might need in the future.
No joke: During yesterday’s debate, Amy McGrath described how Mitch McConnell let hundreds of thousands die and millions suffer from COVID-19 and McConnell just sat there and laughed like a Goddamned supervillain.
The more killing toys you give cops, the more they want to play with them.
Mon, 12 October 2020
Hey, folks with investable income, it is so nice of you to invest it here. As we have become more “independent” lately we have become more dependent on you. David Waldman has some grand panegyric planned for the near future, but I can already sum it up: Thanks!
Amy Coney Barrett’s confirmation hearings might be the last opportunity for some in Congress to take a swing at each other, and no one is passing up on that chance. This might be Republicans last big win for a while, but for conservatives, that win will be plenty. Mike Lee uses his breath to own the Libs, but Senator Kennedy’s smells worse.
Michigan previews how far Republican judges will go to obstruct Democrats in office.
If Hillary Clinton was president, we’d be down to 7 Supreme Court justices, but whatever. The people of our next 6 states should have something to say about that.
Donald Trump takes Covid back on the road, hoping to super-spread the maximum number of sites before November 3rd. Working only from the White House, Trump managed to knock off another 9/11’s worth already. Dr. Sean Conley says Donald is a new man, although Dr. Conley just isn’t who he used to be.
Greg Dworkin wondered if the polls might widen, rather than tighten. He need not wonder any more. The money is not on Trump, or many Republicans anymore. It’s on who can get us out of Trump’s mess. Undecided voters remain the dumbest people in America, but more importantly, are fading in importance. Everybody wants to be Never Trump now.
In California, Republicans own libs by owning themselves and by maybe committing felonies. A legal fight over how to fix problems in mail ballots in North Carolina is holding up votes, half of them from people of color.
Pete Buttigieg teaches every Democrat how to address the issue of late term abortions.
The Latino message is getting out there.
Fri, 9 October 2020
A little post-bar mitzvah-anniversary pierogi hangover/internet disruption couldn’t stop David Cobweb Waldman from delivering today’s KITM! Not with Screamin’ Ian Reifowitz set to join him for the opening hour! (Remember to buy The Tribalization of Politics: How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump... Why not try handing out individual pages in lieu of sugary treats this Halloween?)
Ian’s here to talk marginal tax rates, civic nationalism, and how investing in each other’s well being is the right thing to do, strategically, morally, and patriotically. Bothsidesism is no doubt tempting for cowards, but actually bad for everyone.
Nancy Pelosi and Jamie Raskin introduced a bill today to form a commission to rule on the president's fitness for office. Donald Trump isn’t fit for anything. No one has been making that point better than Donald Trump. A little R&R — Regeneron and Remesdivir (Remesdivir — brought to you by Legal Abortion™), a syringe or two of steroids, etc., and Trump feels OH SO ready to take on the world, one indictment at a time. Trump’s cabinet is beginning to betray his reign, however. William Barr had to explain to Donald that the Durham report probably won’t arrive before the election. Who knows, maybe it was held up in the mail. Fox is no help anymore...
Thu, 8 October 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin deliver a brand-new KITM. Only 18 more until the election!
If you aren’t happy that Donald Trump caught Covid, you should be. Donald Trump is delighted. In fact, it may be the most courageous act a president has undertaken. Take that, Lincoln! Now that “Owning the Libs” now means catching the coronavirus, Chris Christie is a hero who may soon head to troll Valhalla. More mead, no Remdesivir for him! Crede Bailey, White House’s security office head, caught Covid, but didn’t get the joke.
The Cleveland debate has reported 11 COVID-19 cases, so far. Abbott’s rapid tests were good for getting into a quick meeting at the White House, but not much else. Gold Star families became cannon fodder for Covid. The celebrants at the Ruth Bader Ginsburg death shindigs are still out on the streets killing more people. Help identify them.
Donald Trump won’t be wasting our time with another debate, because this would be “a virtual debate”. (As if the last debate was “a real debate”) Well, if it was good enough for Nixon… sometimes doesn’t apply in Trump’s case.
Who needs leadership anyhow? Senator Mike Lee sees no need for democracy. Missouri Governor Michael Parson sees no need for laws. The FBI found some ready to overthrow the government, and kidnap Governor Gretchen Whitmer.
Wed, 7 October 2020
Welcome to the NEW AND IMPROVED Kagro in the Morning! Now brought to you by… Kagro in the Morning! And by David Waldman, and today by Greg Dworkin! And as always, by Me! (I should be in the credits somewhere... I contribute!… I am a Contributor!) And, by you. Let’s take this show somewhere!
Donald Trump is a LOSER. As more Americans understand this, the chances of Trump being a 2020 presidential election loser go up as well. Is it his deadly Covid response? His terrifying debate performance? His Jesus meets Evita fake return from the dead? His insecure sociopathic, self-aggrandizing, willful endangerment of our military, his staff and anyone else? His high AF stimulus negotiations? All those bloodhounds nipping at his heels? Or is it that Donald Trump is just a loser? Hmm. Could be!
The undertow around Trump is immense, taking Martha McSally off guard, as well as plenty of others that frankly should have seen it coming. Even West Virginia slides from deep red to half as deep red.
Undecided voters are the dumbest people in America, no contest. But, shhh, don’t say anything, maybe tonight’s Vice Presidential debate will sway them. The debate itself is being handled as stupidly as could be imagined, with spit guards smaller than a salad bar’s. It is a shame that the technology as yet does not allow debaters to sit more than 6 feet apart.
Stephen Miller reminds us to always sanitize our crosses and wooden stakes. Jeff Sessions and Rod Rosenstein demanded that children be taken from parents. Those two are destined to burn in Hell, yet at this moment haven’t caught Covid. No Hell or Covid for Mark and Patricia McCloskey either, but they will be going to jail. Donald Trump has presently escaped all three, but it’s still up for grabs who’ll get him first.
Tue, 6 October 2020
Never fear, David Waldman and KITM is here:
Monday: it’s like a
So, after 3 days, (See what he did there?) Donald Trump returned, somehow younger and stupider than ever. White House staff do fear the reaper, but figure it’s a living, until it isn’t, as Herman Cain can attest. Bob Woodward advised Trump on how to mobilize against the spread of the coronavirus spread, which went as expected. The White House will not be tracing contacts from their Ruth Bader Ginsburg death celebration.
Joan McCarter reports that the House passed a slimmed-down version at $2.2 trillion of the HEROES Act, which Mitch McConnell has refused to take up. Instead, he is attempting to expedite Amy Coney Barrett’s confirmation. After all, that’s what he’s paid to do. Of course you realize, this means war.
Mon, 5 October 2020
There’s almost no sanity and intelligence left in the world, yet David Waldman and Greg Dworkin have some to share today.
Donald Trump is a sick, sick man, obviously. But who really knows how sick Trump really is? Dr. Sean “Spin” Conley got in costume and lied all weekend to keep Trump’s Covid from becoming too confident. Even Maggie Haberman noticed a fib or two. Donald was propped up to strongly, relentlessly lie, then followed with a victory lap around the hospital, some say riding on the back of a winged stallion. Republicans whistle through a graveyard of their own making. Things are moving so fast that Mark Meadows isn’t sure if it is time to glad-hand or backstab.
It is tough being an idiot leading a team of idiots. It is harder to cover up sick old politicians’ infirmities, and plenty will be coming along soon even without the help of coronavirus. Three Republican Senators in quarantine gives Democrats some interesting new options.
Fri, 2 October 2020
Well, surprise, surprise, surprise! Kimberly Guilfoyle displays her genitalia (and other’s) to folks around the office, Melania Trump declares war on Christmas, (and kids), and... well, neither of those stories really merited discussion on Friday’s KITM. Today, the story is the October surprise that can not be a surprise to anyone: Donald and Melania Trump have finally tested positive for Covid-19. (Purportedly). Donald Trump seems to have let his hydroxychloroquine prescription lapse and now he has a case of the Trump virus.
David Waldman is joined by surprise Friday guest Greg Dworkin, and historian/author Ian Reifowitz (Surprise your friends and relatives! Buy them each a copy of The Tribalization of Politics: How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump) to discuss events as they were reported today.
Should Joe Biden, whose caution and wisdom has so far kept him safe, suspend his campaign because Donald Trump is an idiot? Trump wouldn’t have done it for him. When it was just Hope Hicks, the White House wasn’t about to tell anyone. Of course, it was never “just Hope Hicks”. There were a million before her, led by Infector in Chief, Donald Trump. Trump’s Dr. Nick Riviera assures us that Donald will have this thing licked before tee time, but what about the puny weaklings he breathed upon, including jurist in waiting, Amy Barrett?
Amazon says over 19,000 of its workers tested positive for COVID-19, and tells us that’s good news.
You never know, there might still be an election. The one thing we don’t need is Republican tax cuts.
Darwin H.M., @Darwin_Darko on Twitter, reports that the House will vote on a bipartisan bill named after slain Fort Hood soldier Vanessa Guillén, that is designed to help victims report sexual assault and sexual harassment in the military. Darwin reviews the history of the Vanessa Guillen Murder which gave impetus to the bill.
Thu, 1 October 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin bring us a whole lot of the latest:
Donald Trump was a bullying jerk in Tuesday’s debate, surprising no one, except perhaps his debate crew, who still long for the cheerfully bullying jerk they remember from 2016. Trump plotted to trigger Joe Biden’s stutter in the last debate and will only increase his efforts in the future. The next debate in 6 days will be a “town hall” style and they will be muting Donald’s microphone, so expect the miming to be at Phillie Phanatic levels behind Joe.
ACA and naked overt racism remain on the ballot this month, along with Trump’s calls for voter intimidation. Pennsylvania for one, won’t let him get away with it. A Pro-Trump faux-militia gang has recruited thousands of police, soldiers, and veterans to raise hell.
It’s tough out there for Republicans. Thom Tillis is to debate Democratic challenger Cal Cunningham tonight. Ted Cruz gave Thom a knife to the ribs for luck. Obamacare support has hit a record high, and Chuck Schumer will force a vote on one-line legislation barring the Justice Department from seeking the invalidation of any part of the Affordable Care Act.
Wilbur Ross plans to change the course of US government for a decade, and a Federal judge suggests that she may do something about it.
The $300 million taxpayer-funded “Cheer up, it’s only a pandemic” ad campaign/boondoggle managed to attract only Dennis Quaid, CeCe Winans and Hasidic singer Shulem Lemmer... and by this point Dennis is beginning to consider this as more of a “Randy” vehicle. Turkey lowers its COVID-19 numbers, by lowering its COVID-19 numbers. In the US, Covid has killed 1 out of 1,000 Black Americans and 1 out of 1,500 Floridians. You’ll never hear that from Donald Trump.
The Agriculture Department mandates that each of the millions of boxes of surplus food also contain a thank you note to Donald Trump.
Wed, 30 September 2020
Unfortunately, we live in the present. Fortunately, we can share this moment with this David Waldman and Greg Dworkin. This week, some journalists will attempt to both-sides, and pundits will attempt to grade on a curve, but the reality is Trump was losing going into the debate, and losing worse coming out of it, and the people that matter understand this. But, how much do “undecided” voters matter? Forced by facts further into denial, shy Trump voters become shier. Racists, on the other hand, locked, loaded… and are standing by.
After all that, there’s still a pandemic going on. Virginia’s Ralph and Pamela Northam already lost the debate. Missouri Governor Mike Parson and his wife, Teresa did too, but but had hoped to sneak behind the virus’ back over to their annual fall festival. The Department of Health and Human Services will spend more than $300 million to Bagdad Bob us out of COVID-19 — Starring Dennis Quaid!
Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman are up to their old hijinx — witness harassment, criminal contempt, and obstruction of justice. Will the FBI ever catch them boys?
Meanwhile, nonpartisan campaign finance watchdog group notes that wife-beating Brad Parscale helped the Trump campaign launder $170 million dollars, keeping, say, "x" dollars to himself. Brad also picked up some $40 million from reelection committees, and might not have put much down.
A grand juror says the Kentucky Attorney General should disclose Breonna Taylor’s grand jury records.
We have already discussed the sororal commitment and heritage of Alpha Kappa Alpha, David now tells about the fraternal ties of Alpha Phi Alpha.
Tue, 29 September 2020
David Waldman returns, atoned, rested, and ready for a live KITM.
Are we underestimating Donald Trump going into the debate? Trump has underperformed to everyone’s estimation his entire life, however Donald also has a lifetime of experience covering up his shortcomings. Today is probably Trump’s last chance, and deep beneath those shark eyes, he knows it. Not that Trump plans to start putting effort into achieving things. It’s just that the money from his Mark Burnett hustle is long gone, and most of Vlad’s checks are still in the mail. Times are tough.
Then there’s the tens of thousands of Americans Trump killed. Face masks might be helping people reach Covid-19 immunity. Meanwhile, new Coronavirus strains are eliminating the advantage of wearing masks. If only so many people would quit incubating it! Instead the Gop fights to eliminate the ACA.
Trump rescues the firms being sued for opioid pushing, by feeding them COVID-19 contracts.
Wilbur Ross stops the Census — better luck next decade!
Joan McCarter calls in to request that Ruth Bader Ginsberg’s seat, and the Supreme Court be saved from Trump, but he pretty much already captured that goal, and is now heading toward having his new Trump Supreme Court install him after the election. Democrats batten down their hatches and aim for safe harbor. Oh, and they still need to save the economy with a COVID-19 stimulus bill.
Mon, 28 September 2020
Today, David Waldman has been strongly self-reflecting on a huge, beautiful fast. Can you imagine what even one day of self-examination and atonement would do for Donald Trump?
Democrats hit the ground crawling in their efforts to decelerate Mitch McConnell’s Supreme Court confirmation process, perhaps not to halt it, but at least to slow it down long enough for examination.
Everybody long expected to see a SWAT team tackle Brad Parscale shirtless and drunk in his driveway, but the hope always was that it would be something cheerful, and RICO oriented, not sad and involving spousal abuse. Everyone knew Michael Caputo had some problems, but now it turns out that he had even more.
Fri, 25 September 2020
A well-informed electorate is a prerequisite for Democracy. David Waldman welcomes us advanced students to today’s KITM.
The only thing keeping Rush Limbaugh going nowadays is his knowledge that The Tribalization of Politics: How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump hasn’t yet sold out. Its author, Ian Reifowitz, gives us a lift in the KITM company DeLorean, back hundreds of years into to the time of Adams and Jefferson, and then back to the future with a stop at FDR to witness the many instances in which the number of Supreme Court judges have been changed, only merely to achieve “a political goal” — but sometimes to restore the country to a more just timeline.
While we’re at it, let’s wipe out Republican gerrymandering and demolish their farm system which yielded today’s far-right Senate. How? Well, you know, by giving money to the good guys to win the election. Trump might lose the election because there might be more good people around since 2016. How many good people does it take to win an election? Let’s find out.
Thu, 24 September 2020
David Waldman gives it all he’s got for today’s KITM. After that, we’re on our own. (Until Friday’s show.)
Yesterday, Donald Trump announced... what he has announced since the beginning of his term, that he wasn’t interested in being president, that he was taking over. That can’t be a surprise to anyone at this point, with the exception of the New York Times, and even they read the papers sometimes.
Still, the polls are as rock steady as always… and yet increasingly better. Greg Dworkin leads us through the paradox of polling undecideds — how would anyone know if they don’t? It also helps pollsters to know what to ask. Unfortunately for Trump, red states like Georgia, Iowa and Texas still have women voting. Girl Scouts found a way to lure people to the polls. On the other hand, maybe strippers could convince even more voters to get out to the poles. Trump might be just giving up in some states. Donald should give up on any memorials, of any kind — not even his face on a gift card.
Your Lana Marks handbag isn’t set to be a collector’s item anymore.
Asymptomatic Covid-19 carrier/Missouri Governor Mike Parson makes his wife sick.
No one wants Benjamin Netanyahu to crash at their place. He brings his laundry and the futon smells for weeks.
Wed, 23 September 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin pack our lunch bag-arsenal and send us on our way:
The closer Republicans get to losing power, the more unabashedly they abuse power. They and their supporters are going to lose a lot, so they don’t mind destroying it all. It is up to Democrats to rebuild everything. The Gop wasn’t doing much with America anyhow, other than riding it into the ground. That, and placing a reactionary judicial system that will be in place until we’re all dead…
Win or lose, Donald Trump will never concede the election. He sure won’t let people voting make him leave. Still, there’s no reason to make it easier for him by screwing up your ballot... although those rules might be changed after you voted. Dubai introduces “the Catch 22” of vote invalidation, as by incredible coincidence, just last week a French-Canadian woman, angered at the lack of “Made in USA” products, somehow located ricin and sent it to a White House mail room.
The Gop could be looking into that conspiracy, but instead Senator Ron Johnson spent months sweeping up the same old news on Hunter Biden, which will get repackaged, lit on fire and placed on our doorstep by William Barr and John Durham in a couple of weeks. A nationwide “QAnon strategy” is being employed by Republicans in ads already.
Killing 200,000 people has not built trust in Donald Trump’s future handling of the Covid pandemic. Colleges and universities knew the risks, and still did the wrong thing. It was predictable that money to buy masks and ventilators wouldn’t get there, that’s why Katie Porter predicted it.
Tue, 22 September 2020
Summer ends, and not a minute too soon. Here’s hoping our fall turns out to be less “2020” than the rest of the year.
David Waldman and Joan McCarter are here to catch us:
Donald Trump and William Barr want to gentrify anarchist Jurisdictions in Portland, NYC and Seattle into something a bit more autocratic. Barr redacted away Trump’s impeachment conviction. Mueller’s team could have done more, but that would have just made Trump mad.
A PR official at the National Institutes of Health was secretly a member of the deep RedState.
Senator Lisa Murkowski believes fair to be fair, and for Republicans that’s heresy. Susan Collins is troubled and concerned, and testy that just isn’t enough anymore. Lindsey Graham was so furious after winning the previous SCOTUS installment, He decided that he would destroy his reputation and career to win one again. Finally, Mitt Romney thrust his conscientious, upright finger back into the breeze and detected a whole new precedent. So now Republicans now know their vote days before they know who they are voting on. The only one steadfast to principles would be Amy Coney Barrett, although interested in being a Supreme Court Justice, law really isn’t her thing. That’s more for the head of her household to worry about.
This is all causing a tsunami of a blue wave, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Want to get in on backing Daily Kos-endorsed Democrats? Follow this link to a convenient donation page containing all of the endorsed candidates, designed for easy donation that can be split any way you choose! And — if you want to donate to win back the Senate follow this link!
Mon, 21 September 2020
Ruth Bader Ginsburg is gone, and will receive honors Donald Trump never should. “May her memory be a blessing,” as we are reminded to say. No time to grieve or reflect, as jackals had already began to descend within hours. Republicans smell blood, and some are hungry for more. Nancy Pelosi vows to use “every arrow” in the house’s quiver to stop them. But what can she, or anyone do? Lindsey Graham and the Gop don’t mind when you use their words against them, they know they’ve always been worthless. Trump will be even more Trump until one day, it’s like a miracle...
Joe Biden might be exactly the person this moment needed to keep RBG from becoming the Franz Ferdinand of American politics. Democrats are viewed as the party better able to handle the top problem... whatever the problem is. Trump is even losing ground with white voters. Biden has taken a huge cash lead over Trump while outspending him 2 to 1. Small-dollar donors have now given $100 million on ActBlue since 8 p.m. ET Friday.
Fri, 18 September 2020
It’s finally Friday! That’s the day when Ian Reifowitz joins David Waldman for the first half of KITM! Buy Ian’s latest book, “How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump”. Ian has never allowed his work to be censored or expurgated, so you can rest assured that all of Ian’s cusses have been left verbatim.
Joe Biden showed Trump how town halls are done last night. Bill O’Reilly attributes Biden’s success to Joe’s photographic memory. In fact, many Republicans believe Democrats have been rigging the system for years by running smart people for office.
Olivia Troye, former homeland security adviser and lead staffer on the White House's coronavirus task force, realized she couldn’t dig the US out as fast as Donald Trump could bury it, so now she’s endorsing Joe Biden. Betsy Devos’s former chief of staff has joined a group of anti-Trump Republicans as an adviser.
At least 15 Trump officials do not hold their positions lawfully, like that matters. Jared Kushner is as sociopathic as any Trump, taking control of the US coronavirus response to make certain there wasn’t any US coronavirus response. Everyone from foreign governments to federal contractors are directed to line Trump pockets—sometimes without even knowing it. A payroll company owned by Rudy Giuliani got a couple hundred thousand in taxpayer-backed emergency small business loans without bother to have any employees.
Thu, 17 September 2020
David Waldman presents a brand-new, Thursday KITM. News, entertainment, with just a little added touch of sedition:
Whites might crack, but at least their vote is more elastic. Nobody’s falling for the “Tough on Crime” message being delivered by criminals. Does Joe Biden have a Latino problem or a Latino Q problem?
The more it looks like Donald Trump might be leaving, the more it looks like he might be staying. The election will be contested. Is the FEC, 50 state election security offices, the DHS Election Security division, the U.S. Election Assistance Commission, the FBI Foreign Influence Task Force and Dan Coats enough? Probably not. David looks into the procedures in place that will be thrown out the White House window with the couches and drapes on November 4.
No one will help Ron Johnson deliver his phoney baloney October Surprise. Mitt Romney did for a while, but after recently putting his morally upright finger in the air, he determined the breeze had shifted. Bill Barr has been working to take up the slack, and hates it when the hired help aren’t fascistic patriots like him. Barr understands the pain that Arby’s managers and slaves have felt.
Chief of staff Mark Meadows says CDC Director Dr. Robert Redfield couldn’t know about a vaccine, because it’s a surprise. Donald Trump has contacted the military to distribute it with M-16s and hypodermic darts.
Wed, 16 September 2020
If David Waldman and Greg Dworkin didn’t tell you it this morning, you didn’t need to hear it:
Have you herd? Several decades late, and Donald Trump is worrying what waitstaff might be adding to his food. Donald showed what he was made of, two weeks before the debate, in a town hall meeting on ABC. No one said there would be questions! Joe Biden will do a town hall tomorrow, in case anyone needs to compare and contrast.
Trump has already lost the debate on handling the pandemic, in the past or in the future. It’s not the vaccine that’s scary, it’s that the pusher lies and doesn’t care what happens to us. He’s lost the economy, although he doesn’t know that yet. That leaves foreign policy. There is peace between Israel and Canada now… and Bahrain, and the United Arab Emirates, so what more do you want? Of course, if they come to the table wearing face masks the whole deal’s off. And Footballs back, so that fixes everything.
Jason Miller might need to go somewhere else for his child support payments. Miller makes $20,000 a month doing something with Steve Bannon, and another $35,000 a month doing this and that, here and there. Save up. Making license plates will pay less. It turns out that Steven KG Bannon produces bogus anti-China Covid studies. Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman shouldn’t even be eligible for parole, and yet here they are, out there impersonating the FBI, running troll farms, etc.
Anyone want to help Mike Pompeo’s wife fill out Christmas cards? She might need more volunteers this year.
Tue, 15 September 2020
David Waldman, in depth, in context, and in your ears with a tap of a button:
Democratic insiders are assembling a “war room” to take out the 60 vote rule on the Senate filibuster. Sen. Dianne Feinstein, next in line to lead the Judiciary Committee, says “whaa… huh?” That’s certainly not the way she remembers… what were we talking about again? David does remember it differently... in that he does remember it. You got to hope someone on the inside might think to listen outside for advisement for this.
Smart rich person Bill Gates warned people about pandemics for years, and is pretty bummed that idiots are running things right now. Scientific American makes its first presidential endorsement in 175 years. Donald Trump doesn’t think those eggheads are that smart anyhow. If things were so hard to figure out, would he have put his moron son-in-law in charge of all of them?
Sure, the US might be aiding in Saudi war crimes. Think of how many atrocities we could commit if we let Donald just be Donald. Michael Caputo is locked, loaded, and insane. Chad Wolf isn’t secretary, or even acting secretary of Homeland Security, and that name can’t be real either.
No one unites the twin scourges of police brutality and pandemic disease spread quite like ICE detention facilities, and yet now they have managed to cross into Filipino horror movie status, by executing mass hysterectomies on prisoners.
Joan McCarter reports that not much is happening in DC… and that’s the problem. It's been 120 days since the House passed the HEROES Act, and it's under 20 days until the government runs out of funding, but Mitch McConnell’s out of here in a month or two, so what does he care? While Mitch plays the press and runs out the clock, Nancy Pelosi digs in, and figures out how to save the country.
Mon, 14 September 2020
David Waldman doesn’t come to this with an agenda. Why, KITM barely has an itinerary!
Hey, remember Lana Marks? We were just talking about the bronze medalist, handbag designing Bermuda refugee, Mar-a-Lago founding actress, slash American ambassador to South Africa, now target of Iranian assassins… What’s she been up to lately?
Greg Dworkin’s got the polls! Those polls are pretty nice. Joe Biden is likely to beat Donald Trump... but no promises! Is the race tightening, non-tightening, loosening, non-loosening? It’s not, really. It’s steady. Polls would have to actually change for Donald Trump to win, and the longer they stay steady, the more radical that change would need to be. Right now, Fivey Fox sez he wouldn’t be surprised if Joe won. In fact, every minute brings us closer to Nate Silver being 100% correct.
White women, old folks, and military families are inching away from Trump. Republicans are inching away from being Republican. The lunatics at the core are tough nuts to crack. Trump has pretty much given up talking to regular people, as even he knows crazy people will be his only chance as long as there are any left by November.
Meanwhile, the White House hurries to to get the fix in. An elected prosecutor on Trump’s commission on law enforcement has resigned, along with a prosecutor on the Durham investigation. A court-appointed adviser to the Judge in Michael Flynn’s case sees only corruption motivating the move to drop the case. Trump had people altering CDC reports to match his statements. It will take years to figure out all the ways Donald Trump screwed us.
Fri, 11 September 2020
It’s Friday, and David Waldman wasn’t available to “do it live”, but that didn’t keep him from still delivering the expected quality of KITM to our ears, while also exceeding expectations with his roster of guests.
Ian Reifowitz, author of The Tribalization of Politics: How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump (purchase a dozen or more copies, which when arranged into a “cornucopia” will produce an attractive autumn centerpiece), calls in to chat on how how Donald Trump will kill us all, with the help of right-wing white supremacist terrorists. Tom Friedman asserts that if Joe Biden can turn enough cheeks, wade into enough hecklers, and absorb enough Trump humiliation, he’d earn the respect of Applebee’s diners across the nation. Well, maybe not, but perhaps if we came together to reject racism, we could eliminate it as a weapon of the rich. Even some Republicans are tired of being humiliated.
Darwin H.M., @Darwin_Darko to many, updates us on the legal battle for transgender service in the military. Trump and Mike Pence banned transgender individuals from service, like they tried to get rid of Stars and Stripes magazine, and you know how that went for them, and there is hope for a similar retreat from the ban.
The Trump campaign lost a billion bucks it really didn’t deserve anyhow, while Joe Biden was out there virtually picking up some actual cash. The rich aren’t exactly like you and me, but no one turns down a free trip to Europe. One guy’s choice of favorite musical got him picked for an ambassadorship, although it didn’t work out because someone with even bluer blood (and Hollywood connections) was in contention.
Susan Page, future moderator of the upcoming vice presidential debate between Mike Pence and Kamala Harris, spent about 3 grand of her own money to throw a “girls night” party for Seema Verma, who spent more than $3.5 million of your money on Gop consultants.
Thu, 10 September 2020
The only panic Donald Trump wanted quelled was his own, when he couldn’t find the courage to tell America of the danger he knew was bearing down them. Donald Trump knew, before a single American died.
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin find a way through accumulated detritus of rage and grief to talk us through 2 hours.
Why didn’t Bob Woodward tell us? Did it take this long for Bob to realize Trump was that much of a bastard? Donald Trump complained that his generals cared more about our allies than his trade deals. He said “fuck Nelson Mandela”... and all ungrateful Black people, for that matter. He wouldn’t mind killing everyone in South Korea, and he almost killed everyone in North Korea. Sooner or later, Donald Trump will kill us all.
As a matter of fact, there were plenty of people who could have told us about this earlier, but… the money is really good, even when one has a lot of money already. David wanders down the KITM rabbit hole following U.S. ambassador/sycophant Lana Marks, and the equally suspect U.S. ambassador/Mar-a-Lago founder, Robin Bernstein.
The former chief of intelligence at the Department of Homeland Security says Chad Wolf, Ken Cuccinelli and others made the news out of the DHS a lot more Russian and white-friendly. Russians have been caught hacking the Biden campaign.
The Republican party isn’t worth saving. Few Republicans are at this point. These revelations could still move a few however, and any convert is good... Maybe even evangelicals are finally seeing the light? There might be sociopathic trolling Trump voters, but there are no shy Trump voters.
Wed, 9 September 2020
Did we just make it to Wednesday,...or did Wednesday make it to us? Aren’t we only “The Hump” after all? David Waldman answers… well maybe not those questions, but many others:
Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. Some say election laws will not suffice. But, if we’d just follow “norms”… oh we’re f’cked. If the Founding Fathers didn’t want a president to rape and pillage they could have said so.
Greg Dworkin delivers the anticipated “crap-ton” of of post-Labor Day polls, and as also anticipated, Joe Biden holds his consistent lead, month by month, week by week, day by day, hour by hour... BUT! It’s competitive in Florida! It’s competitive in Minnesota! Ohio! Georgia! Pennsylvania! Trump could ride that Nobel to a Susan Sarandon landslide!
Can the press tell the difference between what Donald Trump says, and what he “says”? Some think Trump sounds better in the original German, while more sane Trump voters just don’t want to hear him talk anymore. The fall school debacle is just beginning. A pre-election vaccine isn’t coming because drug companies prefer to not kill their customers. Miracles take time.
Tue, 8 September 2020
You can bet safety never got in the way of fun at the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally, and their 2020 event appears to be accountable for 250,000 cases of COVID-19 at a public cost of $12 billion, almost 20% of the recent cases.
Donald might have pissed off Sheldon Adelson to the point of losing out on Adelson’s nine-figure checks. This would be kind of bummer for anyone, but the Trump campaign could’ve really used the cash, as it seems to have lost about $800 million between here and the parking lot. Donald Trump might be forced to spend “his own money” now, heh heh… There was a time when Trump’s dollar gap could’ve be filled with rubles, but Vlad owes him a bit less each day.
Nancy Pelosi and Steven Mnuchin might have a plan to avert yet another government shutdown, if only they can coax Mitch McConnell out of his shell.
Teachers and students need to be focused on staying healthy to continue to learn. Betsy DeVos isn’t particularly interested about any of that.
Mon, 7 September 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin report on the Trump White House’ corruption and stupidity, along with maybe a few things you didn’t expect.
Donald Trump golfed this weekend. He was casually misogynist, racist, classist… He lied, cheated, abused trust… He insulted everybody he came across, or went behind, unless he felt like flattering them with transparent insincerity. He routinely broke the law this weekend, and took as much as he could. Everyone knows that’s true, so Donald Trump would of course call veterans “losers and suckers”. Why wouldn’t he?
6 months ago Kellyanne Conway lied to and intimidated reporters.
52 years ago Richard Nixon ran on Law and Order yet didn’t feel laws applied to him. That strategy might not work this time. This conversation will return to concern about COVID. Joe Biden continues to lead, and will continue to lead. Millions under the age of 25 are registering to keep it that way.
Fri, 4 September 2020
It’s Friday, and that’s the day David Waldman brings in author and professor Ian Reifowitz (BUY The Tribalization of Politics: How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump. LABOR DAY SPECIAL: SAME LOW PRICE!)
In Donald Trump’s opinion, Americans that get killed in war are losers, and Americans that get themselves dispatched to wars are suckers. Donald Trump can not resist giving his opinions to everyone, all the time, so you’d have to be willfully ignorant or deluded to not understand how Donald Trump disdains all who aren’t more rich and powerful than he is.
In Trump’s world, physical labor, hard work, and military service are punishments meted out to those not crafty enough to avoid them. Any service for which more is given than received is inherently senseless to him. Therefore, people who have served their country have a duty to go on the record about this, and more are trying to, before Donald Trump can lie his way out.
Ian has much to say on the subject. Several of his adjectives could be bleeped out by the time they reach your podcast, but you can understand Ian’s imperative. Trump supports hate by ignoring right-wing white supremacist violence. White vigilantes have always had a friend In police, and now they have collaborators. Donald Trump and William Barr step it up by defunding cities and the police.
The best thing to happen to Joe Biden’s candidacy might have been Donald Trump’s impeachment.
Thu, 3 September 2020
We’re set to reach 200,000 COVID-19 deaths by Labor Day, or 9/11… if you are counting excess deaths we passed that a long time ago… or if you are an idiot, we are at 6% of any of that. Any way you count it, we aren’t quite at the end of the world. (That’s months away.)
In the meantime, we have David Waldman and Greg Dworkin to entertain and inform us:
Donald Trump is encouraging North Carolinians to vote early, and late, and often. This will help test the system. (Donald is known to be an ardent system-tester.) You can post Biden-Harris campaign signs in your Animal Crossing front yards! Maybe the Trump campaign can work something out with some different game?
Donald Trump is a loser. Many are afraid to say it, but this is not a close race. Joe Biden leads, like he always has, and that is likely to continue. Moreover, Donald Trump is losing, like he always has, and that is likely to continue. That is why it will be such a bummer when Trump’s still president. Joe Biden will have to win the popular vote by at least 6 points to reduce the chance of hearing Nate Silver’s 2021 “Well actually, I said Donald Trump always had a chance of winning” down to 2%.
Lindsey Graham won’t have the Electoral College to save him.
Instead of eliminating the filibuster, maybe it can be flipped to incentivize not using it?
Still, more Republicans and white people plan to vote Biden, perhaps because they feel there’s more of a chance of still having white people and Republicans if they vote for Joe. Some white people will always want to keep white people in charge, even if there is nothing left. Glen “Wild” Clay Higgins represents those people. Clay is ready to drop Black protesters right where they stand. He compares abortion to the Holocaust, and the Holocaust to… military spending? Facebook believes that Higgins sometimes incites violence.
Witnesses describe the night Kyle Rittenhouse opened fire during protests after the shooting of Jacob Blake in Kenosha. Kyle’s lawyer figures that after a mass shooter’s first shot, all the rest is self defense.
Wed, 2 September 2020
Did you ever consider that Donald Trump might not actually be having a series of “mini-strokes”, but that he’s just saying these things to make it easier for David Waldman to fill 2 hours each morning?
Donald Trump always knew there was something hinky about Ted Cruz. It was the soup, the bags of soup. When a camera shop owner refused to talk to him, Donald got a stand-in. Then there’s “thugs on a plane”. Joe Biden will have difficulty finding time in Kenosha to talk about anything other than what an idiot Trump is. Trump has not yet promoted Novichok to treat COVID-19 symptoms.
Greg Dworkin eagerly counts down the days… minutes… until the really cool post-Labor day polls come out. In the meantime, there are plenty of very good polls, all with Joe Biden in the lead. None are showing a post-convention bounce, because the RNC didn’t tell voters how Trump could ever handle the pandemic, and everyone already knows Trump’s stand on law and order. That leaves the debates, which traditionally matter even less, although who knows, maybe Joe can get Donald to stroke out, or experience a temporary period of symptoms similar to one. (Vlad came up with that gag.)
Elliot Broidy’s roguish good looks got him in trouble again, or maybe it was his endless connections to corruption. Either way, the Feds want a date with him. That will leave Steve Mnuchin as sexiest unindicted movie producer connected to Trump.
Trump lackey Jason Miller was paid $20,000 a month on the side by a nonprofit founded by Steve Bannon. Florida man regrets painting “Trump” in 5 foot letters on the side of his boat, especially when it pushed him to committing a felony. William Barr continues to cover Donald’s tracks, probably for some good reason.
Melania Trump helped siphon off $80 million from the Inaugural Fund. She regularly used a private Trump Organization email account, an email from a MelaniaTrump.com domain, iMessage and the encrypted messaging app Signal in the White House. Melania Trump is a Trump after all.
Tue, 1 September 2020
It’s Tuesday! That means it’s Joan McCarter Day! David Waldman had all the KITM candelabras lit for his acclaimed rendition of Hallelujah, but then our lawyers called...
Sure, you think you’re important, but are you “Left-wing ninjas are coming to YOUR neighborhood to pick on YOU” important? You would think only someone the stature of Rand Paul could ever be that significant and prominent, but in Donald Trump’s America, supersoldiers are booking commercial flights marked “Washington to wherever” in “black uniforms with gear and this and that"... and they’re coming for YOU. Dark shadows have already claimed Joe Biden. Police are powerless.They can’t shoot even one Black guy and call for a mulligan anymore.
And that is why Trump moved to shut Congress out of intelligence on Russian election interference.
As Donald Trump and Mike Pence told us to get back to work and hope for a miracle, their own coronavirus task force whispered the bad news to the states. The University of Michigan’s board of regents is chaired by Ann Arbor’s largest landlord, who’d be out tens of millions of dollars in rent if students didn’t return, so…
And that is why Dr. Scott Atlas is Donald Trump's new Covid health adviser. Dr Atlas has already fixed all of Florida’s problems, and he will be bringing that same expertise to the rest of our nation. We’re all going to die.
Inherent contempt had accumulated a lot of dust since David last spruced it up, but now the McGahn appeals court panel says the House has no legal ability to enforce subpoenas, so therefore as David and Armando have recommended, Congress must use inherent contempt power to enforce its subpoenas.
Meanwhile, the D.C. Circuit denied Michael Flynn's petition to force the federal judge on his case to grant the DOJ's motion to dismiss the prosecution, in a reversal of the initial three-judge panel ruling in Flynn's favor. A federal appeals panel temporarily blocked a lower court ruling that was to force Trump to comply with the subpoena on his taxes.
Speaking of subpoenas, the House Oversight Committee is preparing to subpoena Postmaster General Louis DeJoy, and chairman of the USPS board of governors Robert Duncan, for the documents they’re concealing. Robert Duncan is also the director of Mitch McConnell's $130 million super PAC, the Senate Leadership Fund. He is also a director of American Crossroads Super PAC, which spent $1.9 million backing Trump this cycle.
Melania Trump does. not. care.
Mon, 31 August 2020
David Waldman returns to take us out of August and… OMG there’s still two months to go.
Greg Dworkin returns for the first time since the Republican National Pageant of Knuckleheads, which no one watched anyhow. This might have been intentional, as contradictory messages could then be repackaged and disseminated to their intended microtargets later… yeah, like they thought that out.
As roller coasters go, 2020 polling is kind of tranquil, almost soothing. Is 6 points too close for comfort? Nate Cohn might need about mid-November or so to give us solid numbers. Still, wherever there is a bellwether, there’s Joe Leading in it. Joe Biden’s voters may not be asking for much, but Joe is showing he can deliver that and even more.
The former Chief of Staff to Senator Olympia Snowe was concerned about Susan Collins, but no more.
Who trusts Jared Kushner? Definitely not Don McGahn.
Donald Trump is a lying prick. It is his brand, and Trump is devoted to his brand. Will Trump’s conveniently timed COVID-19 vaccine be on brand? Herd immunity is even more on brand: you do it yourself, and you pay for it. Anyhow, the late Herman Cain says it’s not as bad as it seems. Robert Trump might also attest to that, but of course he also might have been paid off.
Soon, there will be Cameo for journalists, where 50 bucks will get you a juicy tidbit they haven’t yet mentioned to their editor. But for now you still need to wait for their book to come out. The DOJ secretly curtailed FBI investigation of Trump ties to Russia. It must have been a well-kept secret as dozens of FBI agents were standing right there. Rod Rosenstein lands a job with the Other Side.
Fri, 28 August 2020
David Waldman returns after successfully dropping off his son at college and avoiding a whole day of Republican National Convention BS.
Now it’s all over but the shouting… and Rand Paul wetting his pants running away. Donald Trump wanted his RNC speech backdrop to be the White House or a big cemetery and it looks like he got it. The October surprise for some South Lawn attendees will be finding themselves under headstones after just 40 days. As Republicans say, we all have to go sometime, so it might be best for them if it was before the election results come out.
After his lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying , lying, lying and lying last night, Donald Trump announced that he’d head out to Texas and Louisiana and check out the courses this weekend, but he didn’t have his hopes up. Donald will want to head back to his own properties where he can soak the Secret Service, taxpayers, or any rube he can find. After all, that is the image he’s cultivated for decades. It’s what his public expects. David Fahrenthold can tell you all about that. Unfortunately, Trump’s public also expects him to crack down on disloyal reporters.
More on the Twitter story of the public defender crossing the wrong people in the police department, who was targeted with retaliatory arrest, possibly fake warrants, faked police agencies, and completely fake justice. She lucked out — police take care of good apples all the time. A Black Vice Mayor in Virginia urged a police chief’s firing. Now she faces charges.
Thu, 27 August 2020
Same convention, different day. Nothing to see there, maybe less. As good as day as any for David Waldman to drop his kid off to start college, and to provide us with a brand new show about something else.
Hear about the internet? It’s an awful place, with crazy people doing mean things. Which might be ok, if they stayed there, but for some, fantasy blurs into reality, and virtual becomes actual. Some people get off on convincing idiots, ignoramuses, newbies and normies of stupid things for lulz. Some, like the three people who popularized the Qanon theory, make a living ruining lives. The owner of 8chan, who might be connected to Gamergate, the Christchurch massacre, targeting federal judges, stolen credit card information and child pornography, might also be Qanon, home of sick people telling sick things to other sick people to convince them to do sick things, and to most everyone’s surprise lately, convincing sort of normal people to do stupid things.
This isn’t new. Remember when the Procter & Gamble logo was declared a “secret Satanic message?” Procter & Gamble’s loss was surely somebody’s gain. Dr. Zeynep Tufekci was able to predict the modern menace of pandemics and social media’s destruction of society by paying close attention to the past. Donald Trump doesn’t know, doesn’t understand, and doesn’t care. We’ll just have to wait for a president that does.
Wed, 26 August 2020
It’s my birthday, and right now David Waldman is in the kitchen baking me a second KITM! That one’s coming out tomorrow, pre-recorded, piping fresh! But first:
Only two days of Republican convention in the crapper so far. Dozens of hours of lies have already been pinched off for the sole benefit of those people hunting for that one lie that will somehow allow them to lie to themselves on election day. Mary Ann Mendoza almost made it to the RNC stage to boost Qanon conspiracy lies, including the granddaddy of them all, “The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion”. She didn’t get the chance, so the FBI Twitter account helped out. Natalie Harp did make her RNC speech. A heartwarming, inspirational speech, and a lie. The White House lied to cover up the Hatch Act violations of a naturalization ceremony-sideshow lie-officiated by Chad Wolf, whose title and position are lies. Bob from the RNC roll call did not technically lie, but he certainly stretched things.
Maybe if some of those lies “stick”, then the polls will tighten, but that is not what is happening now. Donald Trump has a well-earned trust gap that 4 days can’t take away. Trump also wasn’t able to scare Democrats away from mail-in ballots, so it’s now up to Louis DeJoy to put the snail back in mail. More than 20 election administrators have resigned following death threats.
Two people were shot and killed during a protest in Kenosha, that was protesting the police shooting of Jacob Blake. The police finally had to arrest the shooter. They really liked that white kid too. The black kids he shot they already decided were human garbage.
There is still a COVID-19 pandemic, no matter what they say. And, no matter what they say, masks work, turning a $56.14 ROI on $.75. South Korea recloses its schools, while Sturgis bikers spread coronavirus to at least 8 states.
Tue, 25 August 2020
Happy birthday to Sean Connery, turning 90 today! Although he’s not yet 90, it is also Armando’s birthday today! And by an amazing cosmic coincidence, it’s also David Waldman’s birthday today! If that wasn’t enough for you... it’s my birthday tomorrow! Happy birthday everyone!
One day down of the Republican National collective delusion. It is the Trump Convention, so the “plan”, as always, is to put the absolute bare minimum of effort in between golf weekends, and then to claim that it was the best that could ever have been done. Don Jr. was higher than any bar set for Republicans last night.
Whether a pitcher, catcher, or merely an enthusiastic fan in stands, the nonetheless sleazy, cowardly little weasel Jerry Falwell Jr. — previously on righteously eternal suspension from Liberty University, now goes home — you got to hope it is to be nowhere near anyone’s family.
Meanwhile, the University of Alabama reported over 500 COVID-19 cases last week. Researchers say a Hong Kong man is the first confirmed to catch Covid-19 twice, but more research will be needed to determine what a disaster that is. David will need to add a whole new column on his spreadsheet.
The well-worked refs over at Twitter give Trump another warning, still throwing out anyone else committing the same offence. Any Trump not at the convention will tell you: Donald Trump has no principals and you can’t trust him.
Donald goes full Andrew Jackson against the Supreme Court, and then some. The Trump family went full Palin in D.C. following Robert Trump's White House funeral. A public defender describes her retaliatory arrest. Vlad laments America’s loss of style. A Ukrainian Oligarch picked up $21 million in Paycheck Protection Program loans. It’s nice to know a guy.
Joan McCarter reports on the several cans of worms opened at Louis DeJoy’s House investigation. Dejoy will not put any postal sorting machines back, in fact brand new ones continue to be thrown out. Trump has no problems eliminating any support for Social Security. Susan Collins has problems eliminating Donald Trump from her background.
Mon, 24 August 2020
Before we can make it to the finale of Presidential Apprentice we will first need to survive this week’s denouement, although we’ll be seeing many of our contestants, probably for the last time, hopefully. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin host Day One of the last days.
Just in time for the show, Donald Trump debuted another breakthrough COVID-19 cure, which is neither a breakthrough or a cure, or even a debut, but Trump made sure we will never sure how it works or even how to ever make it work, and that’s ok by him. You see, 57% of Republicans see the 176,000+ coronavirus deaths as acceptable… and seeing that they are dividing the total number of deaths by “3/5ths”, that kind of makes sense.
Sturgis motorcycle rally COVID-19 cases in South Dakota have spread to North Dakota, somehow.
The convention speeches probably won’t mention the Postal Service hearings happening now, although that will probably be what their audience is talking about. Chickens and turkeys are having mass die-offs in the mail before we can put them in our mouths, and before anyone gets paid.
Conventioneers might also be talking about Jerry Falwell Jr. Jerry “admits” that his wife had an affair with the pool boy, or maybe he was “bragging”, or maybe he was just “requesting a refund”. (Similar to how Donald likes to watch Homeland Security take its orders from TV’s Lou Dobbs.)
Fri, 21 August 2020
Some convention, huh?
Joe Biden gave a speech, which is all he really had to do. Joe however, gave a great speech, as great as anyone could ever want. David Waldman sweeps up the confetti and talks with Ian Reifowitz, author of The Tribalization of Politics: How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump—every copy purchased today contains a free pass into next week’s 2020 Republican National Convention!
Ian and David agree that if Republicans would eliminate the racism and corruption in their party they might be onto something. That doesn’t seem to be the plan any time soon. In fact, they don’t seem to be planning a plan any time soon. If anything, it’s poised to get worse.
Ian is on the reopening planning committee at his kid’s NYC school. Those folks know how to plan, and implement.
Donald Trump says he wants sheriffs and law enforcement and attorneys and everybody and attorney generals to get out the vote… or get the voters out, at least purportedly. (He’ll probably just lob in teargas.) Trump doesn’t need to assign a paramilitary solution to Biden voters if he has Qanon volunteering to do it. Of course, Qanon is a grift. Weak minds are a gold mine.
Which brings us to Steve KG Bannon. Steve was arrested by postal inspectors off the coast of Connecticut in the yacht of a fugitive Chinese billionaire, thus ruining James Bond films for all time. Rounding out the story, there is a “not-so-innocent” one-armed man, a mysterious benefactor, a many-tentacled umbrella company… and a bunch more cool cars and boats and stuff.
And deep in the shadows… No wait, right there in the open, is Donald Trump. The moment William Barr hit the klaxon, Trump dove for the escape pod, and attempted to lay down a smoke screen... but will he escape? We’ll find out soon!
Thu, 20 August 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin welcome you to the climatic final day of the 2020 Democratic National Convention, brought to you by Donald Trump. If the world didn’t have so much to fix, the convention wouldn’t have been half as good.
Kamala Harris already changed the world for the better last night. And! Last night, The President of the United States returned to address the nation! Makes one feel good to be an American. Of course, the more things change, the more they remain the same. Some whine for more, while some are out there making it happen.
Bill O’Reilly worries Biden-Harris might turn their back on him. No one has turned their back on O’Reilly in years. We’ll see how the Gop convention turns out for him. (Not brought to you by Goodyear)
Crusted phlegm Steve KG Bannon was arrested and indicted, charged with fraud and money laundering, after illegally shaking down wall-loving rubes. Steve might be wearing his overlapping half dozen popped-collar orange jumpsuits for the next 20 years. Joining him are a rogue’s gallery of villainy, including Kris Kobach, Erik Prince, Tom Tancredo, Sheriff David Clarke and former pitcher Curt Schilling, along with anyone else in the swamp that heard “wall” and “money”. Donald Trump hasn’t heard of any of those guys.
It has been revealed that the Senate Intelligence Committee made criminal referrals of Donald Trump Jr., Jared Kushner, Steve Bannon, Erik Prince and Sam Clovis to federal prosecutors in 2019
Trump’s attempt to dodge a subpoena for his tax records was nixed by a federal judge.
The election will not go smoothly, and Trump will cause trouble. How much trouble will we allow him to cause? Louis DeJoy promised a couple things, but isn’t about to repair the damage he already created. Also, he was lying about stopping. Laura Loomer is a loon, but Qanon is nuts, and now they’re coming to DC. What’s the problem with electing representatives of terrorist groups to the other side of the metal detectors? Then there’s Russia. Russiagate was not a hoax. Russia could turn out to be a little too real.
Wed, 19 August 2020
Another beautiful morning shines over KITM 2020 Democratic Convention World Headquarters. Plenty of calamari left to share from last night, along with David Waldman, Greg Dworkin and a brand new guest!
Denise Oliver Velez pays close attention to a lot around here, and around the world. She would like everyone to do likewise, especially those in the mainstream media whose job it is to pay attention to the details, like Skee-Wee, and sweeping cultural and political history, such as the importance of African-American fraternities and sororities. For instance The Divine 9, amazingly enough might be confused with gang members if viewed in a misogynoir, or just plain ignorant light. If Denise’s mom were alive she would have voted for Hillary. Denise will be delighted to be voting for Kamala.
Universities worked themselves into an absolutely impossible position where all choices lead to doom, even before COVID-19. Now they will have to take the students with them. One teacher in Georgia can’t fix all that Brian Kemp has done, but she comes close.
If Donald Trump hadn’t come along, this year’s Democratic convention would not have been this great. This is the digital decency convention, a socially distancing big tent with no Colin Powell heckling, no Bill Clinton heckling, no Bernie-Biden or Biden-Bernie heckling! Foam hats and fingers were replaced by 57 backyards and plain speaking.
Of course, there will also be some plain speaking at next week’s Gop convention. Laura Loomer would make a good keynote speaker, or maybe Mr. Pillow, or Miss Moscow. There’s a good 1,000 pages written already, by the Senate Intelligence Committee. There was no collusion, by the way. Putin did what he wanted, Trump let him. Plenty of lying to congress, with some light treason. As far as Trump’s and people like him are concerned, he’s innocent enough, until the handcuffs go on. Even after that, history will eventually smile upon them, like it does Nazis and Confederate soldiers.
The rest of us can vote for Joe Biden. Most Americans are embarrassed by Trump’s response to coronavirus, the USPS… anything. Except for the time when he enabled Biden and Harris’ future protection of immigrants.
Tue, 18 August 2020
David Waldman is joined by Joan McCarter at KITM 2020 Democratic Convention World Headquarters to assist in blowing up virtual balloons, singing Springsteen and reviewing yesterday’s opening night. Analysts and hecklers were sidelined, and no funny hats, but Michelle Obama spoke directly to me, and so far that makes it the best ever. Tonight: Chuck Schumer! ...Followed by John Kerry! Woohoo! And following them… a minute or so of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. (Probably in conjunction with her AMA on Instagram.)
Donald Trump didn’t like it. No one appreciates that Trump has done so much more for the crummy, horrible, dumb people in the United States. In fact, Donald could talk your ear off about how ungrateful the Blacks and the Jews are these days. Suburban housewives though, they can shut up. He’s brought them a long way, baby. Trump will announce an executive order allowing Rosa Parks to sit anywhere on a bus in 1955. Also, it’s now legal for Susan B. Anthony to vote in 1872.
Anyhow, Michelle got Trump’s COVID-19 death toll wrong. He’s scored 30,000 more than she said, at least! Meanwhile, 71 of Mississippi's 82 counties are reporting coronavirus outbreaks on their first day of school. The jury’s still out on whether Adrenochrome, harvested from the fear of children, has a beneficial use against COVID-19—“the jury” being bat-shit crazy Qanoners who are now stealing kids to get their own little taste.
Speaking of evil, Postmaster General Louis DeJoy (not to be confused with non-evil short track Hall-of-Famer Don LaJoie) is destroying the Post Office to swing the election, and his stock portfolio. Susan Collins is concerned. Mitch McConnell is not concerned, yet. But Steny Hoyer and Nancy Pelosi are working to coax him out of his shell.
Trump just might pardon Edward Snowden… and there’s a senate report confirming Russia used Paul Manafort and WikiLeaks to sway the 2016 election. Remember emoluments? There are three pending cases on Trump’s violation of the emoluments clause, and it looks as if they will be pending still on election day. Remember Miles Taylor? Donald Trump does not. Katie Walsh led talks to remove Trump from the 2016 ticket. You might remember her as an RNC superstar, and one of the only “pro”s to work at the Trump White House.
Mon, 17 August 2020
The Post Office is deactivating mail sorting machines ahead of the election, along with other changes expressly designed to cripple the mail. But, you mess with the Post Office and you mess with Greg Dworkin, as well as many others because much love is sent through the mail, but also so are a lot of medications. This is exactly the plight rural Americans always find themselves struggling against, as well as small businesses, and the exactly the conditions that drives them to the polls. The entire nation is already feeling the slowdown—even Taylor Swift reached Marvelette-levels of concern over the well-being of the USPS this weekend. Mitch McConnell correctly sensed it was time to duck and cover, but it might be too late as several states are considering legal action, Nancy Pelosi calls the House back for a Postal Service protection bill, and convention speeches get rewritten.
We might even get to see Louis DeJoy tazed by the Sergeant at Arms if we’re lucky. Of course, there is some procedure and protocol to go through first. As always, David counsels an orderly following of norms, but reminds us there is precedent to haul his ass in if required.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition, but silly as it may seem, everybody expects a tightening of polls, except Greg. Ah, but we are becoming slightly more enthusiastic! Joe is in a historically strong position. 9 points ain’t bad! It’s not as good as, say, 10 or 12 points, but just wait until you see the convention bounce! The South Carolina Senate moves from “likely” to “lean” Republican, which is completely better than the opposite direction. The Republican’s chief problem is that they weren’t hired to govern, they were hired to stop governance. They can’t be expected to do things. Trump was accidentally elected last time, so the plan is to just repeat that.
Similarly, Trump’s plan to fight coronavirus is to stumble into a “cure”. Until then, more people will die, only a fraction will be counted, and even less will be reported. In Georgia, Brian Kemp wears his ignorance like most people should wear a mask.
Fri, 14 August 2020
David Waldman doesn’t just “talk” today, he chats! And, there’s a lot to chat about:
You could leaf through your dog-eared copy of Obama's America: A Transformative Vision of Our National Identity this weekend, but why not give The Tribalization of Politics: How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump a shot? That’s KITM’s New Friday regular Ian Reifowitz's latest tome. Ian’s here to explain how Jared Kushner rode Prince Mohammed bin Salman’s pocket to diplomatic victory yesterday, and why Benjamin Netanyahu just dropped his annexation dream for a reelection photo-op… and the rebirth of enduring Middle East peace.
So, Donald Trump has a success story about 4 years in, and a few months away from reelection. But, he isn’t tired of winning yet. Donald is delighted to take part in the destruction of democracy and the post office. Any and all consequences are “unintended” by Trump, so any path to destruction is ok with him as long as there’s fool coverage.
For Donald Trump, any feces is fine feces to throw. A Kamala Harris birther conspiracy would be pretty much expected from his campaign, but particularly chafed Armando’s chaps, spurring him to call in today. Armando sees citizenship questions not so much as an attack on Harris, but a strategy to eventually take the rights from millions.
The GAO determined that Chad Wolf was not lawfully named the Acting Secretary of Homeland Security, and that Ken Cucinelli wasn't lawfully appointed even to his proper position at DHS, thus cementing their careers for the duration of the Trump administration.
Thu, 13 August 2020
Welcome to the 9th anniversary of Kagro in the Morning! This is my 5th one!
David Waldman notices schools reopening, then to be forced to close because of the obviously ongoing coronavirus pandemic, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, and again. Maybe it can work like snow closings, where schools won’t close until a certain number of children freeze to death? Ron DeSantis wants children to keep fighting until he can drop their bodies off of an aircraft carrier.
Donald Trump had yet another pandemic briefing, in which he said the same things again, again, again, again, again, again, etc., adding a little extra racism and misogyny with each performance. Trump won’t be hosting this year’s G-7 summit, news that actually gets better with repetition.
Public health officials discover that the more people they save, the more physical danger they find themselves in, due to the spreading lunatic plague. Qanon is mental gonorrhea for Republicans, which seems to be as recurring a condition as the common kind for them. In fact, they kind of seem to like to get it on them lately.
NC billionaire Greg Lindberg seems to have reached the threshold for brazenousness required to capture the attention of federal prosecutors. One incredibly simple question if Biden is elected: whether to prosecute Trump. Trump plans to shut down democracy, and the Post Office. Soon, it will be up to the Army.
Greg Dworkin suggests a landslide victory over a civil war. Joe Biden and Kamala Harris are ready to deliver one. On the other hand, Trump figures that if he insults Kamala harshly enough, women will flock to him. Or if coronavirus cancels enough sports, men will admire him. Voters will love a father figure, just like him.
Wed, 12 August 2020
The wait is over! We were all on tenterhooks for a bit, with all of the intense speculation, second-guessing, rumors swirling… But, Joan McCarter did return! Turns out she was just on vacation. Whew! Joan called in to report that California Sen. Kamala Harris will be running for Vice President on the Democratic ticket, and that she is a very good, and popular choice and certain to work well for Joe Biden. Grassroot money already approves of Kamala. (Please remember to pay in Alpha Kappa Alpha denominations)
Greg Dworkin concurs with the enthusiasm, telling us that the big papers are running “the safe choice” essays, while conservative pundits are pointing out how Kamala is a Wall Street connected commie soft on crime narc, who isn’t quite black or female enough to qualify as “a woman of color”... and where’s her birth certificate? Donald Trump sums it all up as… oh wait, that’s a parody essay. What Trump really said was… uhm. Suburban housewives, who Donald pictures looking like Ivanka in gingham aprons, are now Trump’s last hope.
Ilhan Omar has won her Democratic primary election. So did
Joe Biden leads Trump by about 10 points, since about forever. Which, seems to be a good thing, on the face of it... But, what about those who don’t like that answer, or would really rather have Trump leading, or those who just hated being yelled at by everybody in 2016 and wanted to hedge their bet? Pretty much the same answer. Political consultants know, but aren’t in the job of telling you the answer.
David Waldman also knew Kamala Harris would be the pick, but chose not to steal anyone’s thunder by making an early announcement. Republicans know they could never compete statewide in Washington DC or Puerto Rico, but no one has the heart to make them say why that’s the case. Perhaps we can save the Post Office by not sending things. Trump sues to prevent dropboxes.
More than 200 students went into coronavirus quarantine near Muncie Indiana this week. School boards just want an agreed upon death count to establish proper education. That, and staff and cash. Without cash, pretty much everything will end soon. (The UK economy suffered its biggest slump on record between April and June.)
Tue, 11 August 2020
How can you top yesterday’s KITM, with both Armando and Greg Dworkin as guests? Well, you can’t. However, it is always possible that David Waldman did! Hit the link above, and see if he pulled it off.
Winter is coming, and windows will begin to close, including America’s window of opportunity to beat back Covid-19... and, those windows on those schools we’re now herding our children into. 800 more students went into quarantine in Georgia. Guam’s governor tested positive for coronavirus. Most Americans won’t be able to get a coronavirus vaccine until well into 2021. Vladimir Putin claims that Russia has the world’s first approved COVID-19 vaccine, although it will need to be administered by a needle hidden in the tip of a nurse’s shoe.
Yesterday, some reporter made the mistake of asking Donald Trump a question. Mockery thus ensued, justifications were rationalized, and in the morning the cycle begins again. Each day, White House staff build Potemkin villages around Donald Trump. Governor Kristi Noem even created a Spinal Tap-scaled Mount Rushmore for her village! American contractors knew 2,750 tons of ammonium nitrate were stored in a Beirut warehouse, and many people know how that can turn out, and yet Trump said it was “a bomb”… and then drug some of our great generals into it. Defense Secretary Mark Esper didn’t realize he was on the wrong side of the Potemkin walls until it was pointed out to him.
Is TikTok’s… time running out? Well, Donald Trump says he thinks that app’s hot, and when Donald likes what he sees, that’s never a good sign. Trump wants some “key money”, or he will simply just destroy the company. Meanwhile, as per usual mob protocol, Trump’s lawyers will be challenging any subpoenas coming their way.
The stock market doesn't reflect Americans' pain. It certainly does not reflect Ivanka Trump’s pain, who made about 4 million in one year from the Trump DC hotel, and still felt the need to request severance pay.
Mandamus: It’s not just a river in New Zealand. It’s also a deeply concerning and misguided D.C. Circuit ruling in the Michael Flynn Case.
Mon, 10 August 2020
Back from the weekend, David Waldman begins the week, right after the weekend as anticipated:
9 people tested positive for coronavirus at that Georgia school with that crowded photo. More than 250 students and teachers in that school district have been quarantined. Nearly 100,000 children tested positive in the last two weeks of July. Well, all of those COVID-19 cases have certainly put an end to that debate… didn’t they? No, Donald Trump has killed thousands, so why stop now?
Back from about a week of tropical storm degraded internet, Greg Dworkin is here to report that Joe Biden is still doing very well in his election bid. He’s beating Hillary Clinton. Heck, he could even beat Donald Trump, if given half a chance. Biden will probably capture the Democratic nomination and might announce a vice presidential running mate even before that.
It turns out the method of infiltrating an organization and making it dysfunctional is quite similar to the method of advancing to a senior position in politics.
Do you know that it’s Donald Trump’s dream to have his face on Mount Rushmore? Team Trump hoped South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem could make Donald’s dream come true. Eager to please, Kristi delivered to Donald exactly what he deserved.
The image of Donald Trump at Bedminster, sharpieing things in front of cocktail swilling millionaires also won’t be engraved on the back of a dollar bill soon. Most of the things he sharpied weren’t what people thought they were. They weren’t what his staff thought they were. They aren’t going to do what Trump says they’ll do. Trump in fact changed what he said moments later. He’ll change what he said he said, moments from now. Whatever it is, Larry Kudlow will double it. Chuck Schumer doubts if it’s legal, but even if so, that wasn’t Trump’s intention. Nancy Pelosi wants no part of it, and just wants to get back to work. And, back from months of self-exile, Armando explains Trump’s latest executive actions and exactly how inadequate, unworkable and unlawful they really are.
Fri, 7 August 2020
Good news—Ian Reifowitz, the author of The Tribalization of Politics: How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump (Buy a second copy, for the beach!), a regular on Daily Kos, will now be a Friday regular on KITM!
Ian brings his historical and thematic analysis expertise to David Waldman’s virtual conference table to review Barack Obama’s July 30th eulogy of John Lewis. Obama framed John Lewis’ legacy as a bridge to the past, present and future of the Democratic party, America, and humanity, while giving Joe Biden a boost, and purpose.
Before taking off work on Thursday on route to the golf course, or church, whichever comes first, Donald Trump was forced to come to God’s rescue yet again because Joe Biden was making him cry. Mike DeWine presented his “get out of a photo op” doctor’s note and slipped out the back way. DeWine can use the same note to get out of his next Trump picture too. Dr. Amy “Action!” Acton is smart enough to know how to get to Sesame Street, and better yet, smart enough to get the hell out of the DeWine administration.
Two teenagers were suspended for posting a picture of their school hall stuffed with students, who if they wanted privacy should have worn a mask. This weekend, 250,000 Bikers will join together in individuality to rebel against their safety and yours.
The Navy SEAL Museum can’t use blackface on their K9 victims anymore, but they made do.
The New York attorney general is actually suing the N.R.A. and is seeking its closure. The amount of corruption that requires is more than any individual Republican could ever muster, so Wayne LaPierre needed to recruit every friend and family member he could find to pull it off.
Thu, 6 August 2020
Welcome! Congratulations on completing your quest to locate this page! David Waldman awaits at the end of our maze to bestow Thursday’s KITM upon weary adventurers.
Donald Trump does not know much and could not care less. Why should he? What has either attribute ever done for him? Trump knows it isn’t really worth using correct statistics, correctly. For his audience, why bother? (People who need to pay attention are less impressed.)
Yet, stupidly lying remains easy and profitable for Trump. Of course, Twitter locked the Trump campaign’s account for saying stupid lies, but it also locked the accounts of people pointing out that they were stupid lies. So, in the end does the United States deserve this Trump pandemic? Infectious people continue to head to restaurants, and soon they will send their infectious kids to school...
Wed, 5 August 2020
Tropical Storm Isaias swept through Connecticut, knocking out the power to more than 700,000, but not for our ever-prescient Greg Dworkin, who just last month thought to install a household generator. Alas, Greg must still need to climb the pole outside to make his Skype calls, because that just wasn’t going to happen today.
You can bet Greg would have wanted to talk about the electoral/primary news coming out of Missouri, Arizona, Kansas, Michigan, and Washington. MO Republicans attempted to block health coverage for hundreds of thousands, but voters wouldn’t let them. 20 year congressman Lacy Clay was primaried out by BLM rebel Cori Bush. Rashida Tlaib kept her primary challenger at bay.
In Beirut, Lebanon, a series of fires and explosions were soon followed by a really massive explosion. Donald Trump operates under the assumption that he’s President of the United states, but in reality couldn’t be more stupid if there were two of him, so he thought he’d sound “on top of things” if he stated it was “a bomb”. That would be a abhorrently inappropriate statement to make, had Donald Trump actually been president. Others in Washington are just beginning to contemplate the devastation.
Then there’s the COVID-19 pandemic, or if you pick door #2, the upcoming seasonal “polio-like condition”. Italy and Sweden both have learned the hard way, but at least they learned. Of course, Sweden chose their hard way on purpose.
Tue, 4 August 2020
David Waldman makes “it” at least 110% of what “it is” today:
Worse yet, Axios’ interviewer Jonathan Swan, never swayed by pity nor glee, kept offering Trump opportunities to reply, and his each reply was a perfect layup on the wrong side of the court. Swan wanted to discuss the proportion of COVID-19 deaths to the US population, but Trump could only talk of it compared to cases, which is like Swan asking to consider how many of Titanic’s passengers have died, but Trump only wanting to talk about the survival rate of lifeboat occupants.
Trump believes that John Lewis could have been a bit more like Herman Cain.
The Donald Trump Tremendous Health Care Plan, due yesterday, is due in a few weeks, maybe the end of the month, hopefully prior to the end of the month, or next. Indiana State suspends football practice for 14 days, because two weeks fixes everything.
Mon, 3 August 2020
David Waldman might have thought those long nights talking, drinking beers out back on the White House porch swing might have been long forgotten, but as it turns out, Barack Obama did remember, and took steps to make certain that Joe Biden will also remember to turn off that Jim Crow relic filibuster the moment he turns on the lights in the Oval Office. Actually, the filibuster as it exists today has been David’s bête noire for a bit, so today’s KITM will take an historical perspective on this fight.
We still suffer from a pandemic. Greg Dworkin describes how schools can’t be opened safely now. The push for opening schools is guaranteed to fail. Opening safely is in fact a fantasy. (Michael Rapaport explains.) Of course, fantasy is all that Republicans have anymore... Dems panic! Joe Biden is too slow and too hasty in picking a VP! Joe will melt down in a debate! Ah, we will miss all those Republicans after we vote them out.
But what if Donald Trump’s plan to terrorize urban voting centers in swing states isn’t quite enough to capture the vote, and yet he refuses to leave? David outlines several official procedures of orderly succession … for Trump to poop on! Seriously, what incentive would Trump have to follow any rules by that point? Perhaps, if Donald can kill voting by mail, less voters will have to die. Louis DeJoy, a top Trump fundraiser and Republican operative, pretends to be Postmaster General but can’t hold a candle to Wilford Brimley, who will be missed.
Fri, 31 July 2020
Do you remember a time when we weren't mired in the pandemic, and we pretended we didn't know who was going to be the Democratic nominee? If you're like me, then there's no way in the world that you do! Luckily, when that actually happened, on July 31st of last year, we recorded it, like a time capsule!
David Waldman wanted to have an in-depth discussion of last night’s Democratic presidential debate, but would be, as per KITM rules, held to 480 fifteen second rebuttals. Your friends and neighbors will be glad to tell you who “won”, as would complete strangers, but David instead invited Joan McCarter, who can prove she paid some attention last night, even to the Hickenlooper parts… In sum: Bernie and Elizabeth Butch and Sundanced their way through all the b-listers Jake Tapper could throw at them, while Marianne Williamson pegged the clap-o-meter... yada, yada, yada, on to Biden-night.
Russia and 2020 election security loom large for Moscow Mitch McConnell in the nomination of Representative/Loon John Ratcliffe to be director of national intelligence. Susan Collins is deeply concerned as the deciding vote, as she is deeply concerned about the reaction to all of her votes since Brett Kavanaugh.
Moscow Mitch McConnell threatened to take away Republican’s recess if they don’t reach the 60-vote threshold he needs on the upcoming debt ceiling budget vote. The House did their part, easily passing their agreement and eliminating policy provisions restricting money to Trump’s wall… Armando calls in to say “Wait. WHAT ?!?”
Thu, 30 July 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin bring us breaking news: We’re doomed… Plus:
Donald Trump made history yet again today, with the worst ever US economy dump. In response, Trump tweeted a morning implausible scenario suggestion. It’s implausible because, well Constitution, duh... Also, why bother when taking out swing state urban centers require much less effort? Not delivering mail takes less effort than delivering, for instance.
Herman Cain took one for the team, and probably won’t even be thanked for his service. There will be plenty of time for all of us to play high school football in heaven, but right now we have to deal with a pandemic and economic collapse.
Republicans are completely unprepared for any scenario, including heaven apparently. Utter and total defeat might not be enough to teach them a damn thing… but, you know what, that’s ok. Democrats, IT’S CLOBBERATION TIME!
Why would $600 make anyone lazier? The Trump family stole $170 million dollars, and they’re all still out there hustling. Turning Point USA’s Bill Montgomery died from coronavirus, and Charlie Kirk was right there to pick up the pieces and Bill’s wallet.
Brett Kavanaugh is here to tell us that Brett’s the kind of guy Kavanaugh always said he was.
And — Darwin H.M., @Darwin_Darko describes how West Point fails its mission and graduates with its retreat from meaningfully addressing systemic racism.
Wed, 29 July 2020
Joe Biden hasn’t yet announced his VP choice, so David Waldman and Greg Dworkin present a KITM that we can listen to while we wait:
Have you been saving your urine for something important? Dr. Stella Immanuel wants dibs. If he scores that second term, Donald Trump is on the record as being very impressed with Stella’s Witchfinder General curriculum vitae. Her ABEM seems kinda FUBAR though.
Trump’s declining approval now includes Republican declining approval. Donald Trump faces a much bigger task than he did in 2016 The thing is, Donald has never been that big on tasks. Absentee voting requests are skyrocketing. Republicans can only wish dead people voted as often as they’ve claimed. Donald turned off the lights in Michigan, just as Joe turned them on in Georgia. Trump is losing blue collars in Scranton. Independents go blue everywhere. Joe’s voters begin to feel the love, Donald’s are just going to stick around until one of them dies. You can believe the polls, if not the interpreters.
Republicans literally can’t believe the mess they’re in. Like their constituents, they need to really feel the symptoms before they can imagine the illness. By the way, Louis Gohmert has tested positive. How a neurological disease latched onto those three brain cells, we might never know. If these guys can't deal with a pandemic in their midst, how can they deal with… anything? Don’t worry, Donald Trump assures us that federal troops will be deploying into urban centers in swing states with vaccine guns in the near future.
What does Donald talk to Vlad about? Oh, nothing important.
Martha McSally promised voters that her campaign would "suspend all campaign fundraising" but she didn’t say they wouldn’t be collecting a little pocket money.
Black Lives Matter protests attract white supremacists, boogs, Hells Angels Aryan Cowboy Brotherhood, etc., and Black lives are probably not their #1 priority. The “Umbrella Man” was a white supremacist. Meanwhile, if you’re walking to your post office, and one fed says “Hands up!”, while the other says “Freeze!”, you just disobeyed one of them, a federal offence. Here, sign this.
Tue, 28 July 2020
It’s been a while since Markos Molulitsas presented the first Daily Kos as a series of sung limericks set to David Waldman’s lute accompaniment. Each update has improved the accessibility, interactivity, readability, and style over the last… although you might not feel that yet. You’ll miss this version when it’s gone!
Tuesday KITMs still feature Joan McCarter, because you know we don’t want a riot!
If you want to relive classic web design, head over to FirePowerMinistry.org (when it’s up). Dr. Stella Immanuel, the leader of Fire Power Ministries believes in alien DNA, demon sperm, hydroxychloroquine and Donald Trump. Donald also believes in hydroxychloroquine and Trump, so he was happy to spread Dr. Stella’s word, which has now been removed from YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook. Nothing will ever shake Donald Trump’s deep and abiding faith in Donald Trump, Donald’s adoration to the glory of Trump could never be usurped by mere human hardships and lamentations... especially yours.
Which brings us back to coronavirus, and those people that just don’t “get it” until they catch it. Arkansas Senator Jason Rapert introduced a bill to ban gay marriage, and unfortunately hasn’t yet been caught in a gay affair. However, Rapert did call coronavirus a hoax, and now he’s in the hospital for Covid-19. At least 10 in the Tennessee legislature have tested positive for coronavirus. It sure will take us a long time if every Republican has to learn this way. A judge has determined that belching virus at each other is not free speech, so that’s a start.
Meanwhile, more than two dozen lifeguards working the Jersey shore have tested positive for COVID-19. A couple hundred students have been exposed to coronavirus while taking their ACT tests. And, Ohio’s never been the same without Dr. Amy “Action!” Acton.
If you’ve been reading this wondering, “Wait! There seems to be a lot of money to be made here! How can I cash in?”, well, there are plenty of success stories to consider. Take for instance, the Florida man that applied for $4 million in Paycheck Protection Program (PPP) loans, and was able to buy himself a brand-new Lamborghini Huracán! If you run a hospital in a Trump supporting state with a Trump supporting mayor you can say goodbye to supplies and equipment shortages… until you do, then tough luck. Finally, a National Guard officer whistleblows on the Trump-Barr Lafayette Park photo op.
Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer reject Mitch McConnell’s COVID-19 bill. Bernie Sanders isn’t that big a fan either. Republicans are in disarray, but not in a big hurry to figure out the bill’s particulars. Donald Trump seems to be the only one ready to go for the bill, but in case he balks they can always take a chunk out of Social Security. If people can’t live on present unemployment insurance, Republicans wonder how they’ll do on less.
Trump’s announcement that he would pitch at Yankee Stadium on Aug. 15? Yep, a lie.
Mon, 27 July 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin don’t contend with snow, nor rain, nor gloom of night, but at least they deliver KITM on time.
Donald Trump isn’t even not president yet and he’s receding from public consciousness. Oh, he’s still around, and he’s still awful, but he’s lit so many fires that it’s all just one conflagration, and you can hardly see him for the flames. Voters know a vote for Joe Biden is a vote against the inferno more than anything else.
There has NEVER been a boat parade for Joe, though… and, if there wasn’t an ongoing pandemic, vicious occupying armies, an historic economic crisis, and Donald Trump as a candidate, conventional wisdom would hold that the presidential race should be tightening about now, but… Trump is losing Florida as bad as Ron DeSantis, and no one has worked harder to lose Florida than Ron DeSantis. Trump is spread thin, however, by also losing in Michigan, Arizona, and North Carolina. Anywhere coronavirus is winning, Republicans are losing. Even old white people don’t like to get burnt so often.
Public health failures, ironically, will continue to take down the popularity of the people that made public health political. Schools opening will soon close, unfortunately because children and teachers will soon become sick. And don’t get me started on USPS delays, this is the second week I missed my Friday night Netflix movie... Damn Postmaster General, multi-million-dollar major Trump donor, Louis DeJoy!
Politics continue to be rough and tumble. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez handed Ted Yoho his ass, and Ted in turn handed in his resignation to Bread for the World. Former Senator Chris Dodd goes old-school on Kamala Harris for taking a chunk out of Joe in a debate.
Donald Trump is running the country like he ran Trump University, and as usual, no one is learning a damn thing. The U.S. Ambassador to Iceland knows how much people hate the Trump administration, but doesn’t quite understand how little people really care about him.
Fri, 24 July 2020
Kagro in the Morning welcomes the new Washington Football Team and their new mascot, “Mascot”. Goooo “Team”!
David Waldman also celebrates the return of the celebrated author of The Tribalization of Politics: How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump, Ian Reifowitz. (The book that makes a great back-to-school gift!)
Donald Trump retreats from Jacksonville, his no-doubt stubby little tail between his legs, because Republicans are afraid of catching the sniffles. Too bad, it looked like it was going to turn into a real Klanbake, except without anyone as woke as say... Calvin Coolidge.