Wed, 23 September 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin pack our lunch bag-arsenal and send us on our way:
The closer Republicans get to losing power, the more unabashedly they abuse power. They and their supporters are going to lose a lot, so they don’t mind destroying it all. It is up to Democrats to rebuild everything. The Gop wasn’t doing much with America anyhow, other than riding it into the ground. That, and placing a reactionary judicial system that will be in place until we’re all dead…
Win or lose, Donald Trump will never concede the election. He sure won’t let people voting make him leave. Still, there’s no reason to make it easier for him by screwing up your ballot... although those rules might be changed after you voted. Dubai introduces “the Catch 22” of vote invalidation, as by incredible coincidence, just last week a French-Canadian woman, angered at the lack of “Made in USA” products, somehow located ricin and sent it to a White House mail room.
The Gop could be looking into that conspiracy, but instead Senator Ron Johnson spent months sweeping up the same old news on Hunter Biden, which will get repackaged, lit on fire and placed on our doorstep by William Barr and John Durham in a couple of weeks. A nationwide “QAnon strategy” is being employed by Republicans in ads already.
Killing 200,000 people has not built trust in Donald Trump’s future handling of the Covid pandemic. Colleges and universities knew the risks, and still did the wrong thing. It was predictable that money to buy masks and ventilators wouldn’t get there, that’s why Katie Porter predicted it.
Tue, 22 September 2020
Summer ends, and not a minute too soon. Here’s hoping our fall turns out to be less “2020” than the rest of the year.
David Waldman and Joan McCarter are here to catch us:
Donald Trump and William Barr want to gentrify anarchist Jurisdictions in Portland, NYC and Seattle into something a bit more autocratic. Barr redacted away Trump’s impeachment conviction. Mueller’s team could have done more, but that would have just made Trump mad.
A PR official at the National Institutes of Health was secretly a member of the deep RedState.
Senator Lisa Murkowski believes fair to be fair, and for Republicans that’s heresy. Susan Collins is troubled and concerned, and testy that just isn’t enough anymore. Lindsey Graham was so furious after winning the previous SCOTUS installment, He decided that he would destroy his reputation and career to win one again. Finally, Mitt Romney thrust his conscientious, upright finger back into the breeze and detected a whole new precedent. So now Republicans now know their vote days before they know who they are voting on. The only one steadfast to principles would be Amy Coney Barrett, although interested in being a Supreme Court Justice, law really isn’t her thing. That’s more for the head of her household to worry about.
This is all causing a tsunami of a blue wave, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Want to get in on backing Daily Kos-endorsed Democrats? Follow this link to a convenient donation page containing all of the endorsed candidates, designed for easy donation that can be split any way you choose! And — if you want to donate to win back the Senate follow this link!
Mon, 21 September 2020
Ruth Bader Ginsburg is gone, and will receive honors Donald Trump never should. “May her memory be a blessing,” as we are reminded to say. No time to grieve or reflect, as jackals had already began to descend within hours. Republicans smell blood, and some are hungry for more. Nancy Pelosi vows to use “every arrow” in the house’s quiver to stop them. But what can she, or anyone do? Lindsey Graham and the Gop don’t mind when you use their words against them, they know they’ve always been worthless. Trump will be even more Trump until one day, it’s like a miracle...
Joe Biden might be exactly the person this moment needed to keep RBG from becoming the Franz Ferdinand of American politics. Democrats are viewed as the party better able to handle the top problem... whatever the problem is. Trump is even losing ground with white voters. Biden has taken a huge cash lead over Trump while outspending him 2 to 1. Small-dollar donors have now given $100 million on ActBlue since 8 p.m. ET Friday.
Fri, 18 September 2020
It’s finally Friday! That’s the day when Ian Reifowitz joins David Waldman for the first half of KITM! Buy Ian’s latest book, “How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump”. Ian has never allowed his work to be censored or expurgated, so you can rest assured that all of Ian’s cusses have been left verbatim.
Joe Biden showed Trump how town halls are done last night. Bill O’Reilly attributes Biden’s success to Joe’s photographic memory. In fact, many Republicans believe Democrats have been rigging the system for years by running smart people for office.
Olivia Troye, former homeland security adviser and lead staffer on the White House's coronavirus task force, realized she couldn’t dig the US out as fast as Donald Trump could bury it, so now she’s endorsing Joe Biden. Betsy Devos’s former chief of staff has joined a group of anti-Trump Republicans as an adviser.
At least 15 Trump officials do not hold their positions lawfully, like that matters. Jared Kushner is as sociopathic as any Trump, taking control of the US coronavirus response to make certain there wasn’t any US coronavirus response. Everyone from foreign governments to federal contractors are directed to line Trump pockets—sometimes without even knowing it. A payroll company owned by Rudy Giuliani got a couple hundred thousand in taxpayer-backed emergency small business loans without bother to have any employees.
Thu, 17 September 2020
David Waldman presents a brand-new, Thursday KITM. News, entertainment, with just a little added touch of sedition:
Whites might crack, but at least their vote is more elastic. Nobody’s falling for the “Tough on Crime” message being delivered by criminals. Does Joe Biden have a Latino problem or a Latino Q problem?
The more it looks like Donald Trump might be leaving, the more it looks like he might be staying. The election will be contested. Is the FEC, 50 state election security offices, the DHS Election Security division, the U.S. Election Assistance Commission, the FBI Foreign Influence Task Force and Dan Coats enough? Probably not. David looks into the procedures in place that will be thrown out the White House window with the couches and drapes on November 4.
No one will help Ron Johnson deliver his phoney baloney October Surprise. Mitt Romney did for a while, but after recently putting his morally upright finger in the air, he determined the breeze had shifted. Bill Barr has been working to take up the slack, and hates it when the hired help aren’t fascistic patriots like him. Barr understands the pain that Arby’s managers and slaves have felt.
Chief of staff Mark Meadows says CDC Director Dr. Robert Redfield couldn’t know about a vaccine, because it’s a surprise. Donald Trump has contacted the military to distribute it with M-16s and hypodermic darts.
Wed, 16 September 2020
If David Waldman and Greg Dworkin didn’t tell you it this morning, you didn’t need to hear it:
Have you herd? Several decades late, and Donald Trump is worrying what waitstaff might be adding to his food. Donald showed what he was made of, two weeks before the debate, in a town hall meeting on ABC. No one said there would be questions! Joe Biden will do a town hall tomorrow, in case anyone needs to compare and contrast.
Trump has already lost the debate on handling the pandemic, in the past or in the future. It’s not the vaccine that’s scary, it’s that the pusher lies and doesn’t care what happens to us. He’s lost the economy, although he doesn’t know that yet. That leaves foreign policy. There is peace between Israel and Canada now… and Bahrain, and the United Arab Emirates, so what more do you want? Of course, if they come to the table wearing face masks the whole deal’s off. And Footballs back, so that fixes everything.
Jason Miller might need to go somewhere else for his child support payments. Miller makes $20,000 a month doing something with Steve Bannon, and another $35,000 a month doing this and that, here and there. Save up. Making license plates will pay less. It turns out that Steven KG Bannon produces bogus anti-China Covid studies. Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman shouldn’t even be eligible for parole, and yet here they are, out there impersonating the FBI, running troll farms, etc.
Anyone want to help Mike Pompeo’s wife fill out Christmas cards? She might need more volunteers this year.
Tue, 15 September 2020
David Waldman, in depth, in context, and in your ears with a tap of a button:
Democratic insiders are assembling a “war room” to take out the 60 vote rule on the Senate filibuster. Sen. Dianne Feinstein, next in line to lead the Judiciary Committee, says “whaa… huh?” That’s certainly not the way she remembers… what were we talking about again? David does remember it differently... in that he does remember it. You got to hope someone on the inside might think to listen outside for advisement for this.
Smart rich person Bill Gates warned people about pandemics for years, and is pretty bummed that idiots are running things right now. Scientific American makes its first presidential endorsement in 175 years. Donald Trump doesn’t think those eggheads are that smart anyhow. If things were so hard to figure out, would he have put his moron son-in-law in charge of all of them?
Sure, the US might be aiding in Saudi war crimes. Think of how many atrocities we could commit if we let Donald just be Donald. Michael Caputo is locked, loaded, and insane. Chad Wolf isn’t secretary, or even acting secretary of Homeland Security, and that name can’t be real either.
No one unites the twin scourges of police brutality and pandemic disease spread quite like ICE detention facilities, and yet now they have managed to cross into Filipino horror movie status, by executing mass hysterectomies on prisoners.
Joan McCarter reports that not much is happening in DC… and that’s the problem. It's been 120 days since the House passed the HEROES Act, and it's under 20 days until the government runs out of funding, but Mitch McConnell’s out of here in a month or two, so what does he care? While Mitch plays the press and runs out the clock, Nancy Pelosi digs in, and figures out how to save the country.
Mon, 14 September 2020
David Waldman doesn’t come to this with an agenda. Why, KITM barely has an itinerary!
Hey, remember Lana Marks? We were just talking about the bronze medalist, handbag designing Bermuda refugee, Mar-a-Lago founding actress, slash American ambassador to South Africa, now target of Iranian assassins… What’s she been up to lately?
Greg Dworkin’s got the polls! Those polls are pretty nice. Joe Biden is likely to beat Donald Trump... but no promises! Is the race tightening, non-tightening, loosening, non-loosening? It’s not, really. It’s steady. Polls would have to actually change for Donald Trump to win, and the longer they stay steady, the more radical that change would need to be. Right now, Fivey Fox sez he wouldn’t be surprised if Joe won. In fact, every minute brings us closer to Nate Silver being 100% correct.
White women, old folks, and military families are inching away from Trump. Republicans are inching away from being Republican. The lunatics at the core are tough nuts to crack. Trump has pretty much given up talking to regular people, as even he knows crazy people will be his only chance as long as there are any left by November.
Meanwhile, the White House hurries to to get the fix in. An elected prosecutor on Trump’s commission on law enforcement has resigned, along with a prosecutor on the Durham investigation. A court-appointed adviser to the Judge in Michael Flynn’s case sees only corruption motivating the move to drop the case. Trump had people altering CDC reports to match his statements. It will take years to figure out all the ways Donald Trump screwed us.
Fri, 11 September 2020
It’s Friday, and David Waldman wasn’t available to “do it live”, but that didn’t keep him from still delivering the expected quality of KITM to our ears, while also exceeding expectations with his roster of guests.
Ian Reifowitz, author of The Tribalization of Politics: How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump (purchase a dozen or more copies, which when arranged into a “cornucopia” will produce an attractive autumn centerpiece), calls in to chat on how how Donald Trump will kill us all, with the help of right-wing white supremacist terrorists. Tom Friedman asserts that if Joe Biden can turn enough cheeks, wade into enough hecklers, and absorb enough Trump humiliation, he’d earn the respect of Applebee’s diners across the nation. Well, maybe not, but perhaps if we came together to reject racism, we could eliminate it as a weapon of the rich. Even some Republicans are tired of being humiliated.
Darwin H.M., @Darwin_Darko to many, updates us on the legal battle for transgender service in the military. Trump and Mike Pence banned transgender individuals from service, like they tried to get rid of Stars and Stripes magazine, and you know how that went for them, and there is hope for a similar retreat from the ban.
The Trump campaign lost a billion bucks it really didn’t deserve anyhow, while Joe Biden was out there virtually picking up some actual cash. The rich aren’t exactly like you and me, but no one turns down a free trip to Europe. One guy’s choice of favorite musical got him picked for an ambassadorship, although it didn’t work out because someone with even bluer blood (and Hollywood connections) was in contention.
Susan Page, future moderator of the upcoming vice presidential debate between Mike Pence and Kamala Harris, spent about 3 grand of her own money to throw a “girls night” party for Seema Verma, who spent more than $3.5 million of your money on Gop consultants.
Thu, 10 September 2020
Wed, 9 September 2020
Did we just make it to Wednesday,...or did Wednesday make it to us? Aren’t we only “The Hump” after all? David Waldman answers… well maybe not those questions, but many others:
Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. Some say election laws will not suffice. But, if we’d just follow “norms”… oh we’re f’cked. If the Founding Fathers didn’t want a president to rape and pillage they could have said so.
Greg Dworkin delivers the anticipated “crap-ton” of of post-Labor Day polls, and as also anticipated, Joe Biden holds his consistent lead, month by month, week by week, day by day, hour by hour... BUT! It’s competitive in Florida! It’s competitive in Minnesota! Ohio! Georgia! Pennsylvania! Trump could ride that Nobel to a Susan Sarandon landslide!
Can the press tell the difference between what Donald Trump says, and what he “says”? Some think Trump sounds better in the original German, while more sane Trump voters just don’t want to hear him talk anymore. The fall school debacle is just beginning. A pre-election vaccine isn’t coming because drug companies prefer to not kill their customers. Miracles take time.
Tue, 8 September 2020
You can bet safety never got in the way of fun at the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally, and their 2020 event appears to be accountable for 250,000 cases of COVID-19 at a public cost of $12 billion, almost 20% of the recent cases.
Donald might have pissed off Sheldon Adelson to the point of losing out on Adelson’s nine-figure checks. This would be kind of bummer for anyone, but the Trump campaign could’ve really used the cash, as it seems to have lost about $800 million between here and the parking lot. Donald Trump might be forced to spend “his own money” now, heh heh… There was a time when Trump’s dollar gap could’ve be filled with rubles, but Vlad owes him a bit less each day.
Nancy Pelosi and Steven Mnuchin might have a plan to avert yet another government shutdown, if only they can coax Mitch McConnell out of his shell.
Teachers and students need to be focused on staying healthy to continue to learn. Betsy DeVos isn’t particularly interested about any of that.
Mon, 7 September 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin report on the Trump White House’ corruption and stupidity, along with maybe a few things you didn’t expect.
Donald Trump golfed this weekend. He was casually misogynist, racist, classist… He lied, cheated, abused trust… He insulted everybody he came across, or went behind, unless he felt like flattering them with transparent insincerity. He routinely broke the law this weekend, and took as much as he could. Everyone knows that’s true, so Donald Trump would of course call veterans “losers and suckers”. Why wouldn’t he?
6 months ago Kellyanne Conway lied to and intimidated reporters.
52 years ago Richard Nixon ran on Law and Order yet didn’t feel laws applied to him. That strategy might not work this time. This conversation will return to concern about COVID. Joe Biden continues to lead, and will continue to lead. Millions under the age of 25 are registering to keep it that way.
Fri, 4 September 2020
It’s Friday, and that’s the day David Waldman brings in author and professor Ian Reifowitz (BUY The Tribalization of Politics: How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump. LABOR DAY SPECIAL: SAME LOW PRICE!)
In Donald Trump’s opinion, Americans that get killed in war are losers, and Americans that get themselves dispatched to wars are suckers. Donald Trump can not resist giving his opinions to everyone, all the time, so you’d have to be willfully ignorant or deluded to not understand how Donald Trump disdains all who aren’t more rich and powerful than he is.
In Trump’s world, physical labor, hard work, and military service are punishments meted out to those not crafty enough to avoid them. Any service for which more is given than received is inherently senseless to him. Therefore, people who have served their country have a duty to go on the record about this, and more are trying to, before Donald Trump can lie his way out.
Ian has much to say on the subject. Several of his adjectives could be bleeped out by the time they reach your podcast, but you can understand Ian’s imperative. Trump supports hate by ignoring right-wing white supremacist violence. White vigilantes have always had a friend In police, and now they have collaborators. Donald Trump and William Barr step it up by defunding cities and the police.
The best thing to happen to Joe Biden’s candidacy might have been Donald Trump’s impeachment.
Thu, 3 September 2020
We’re set to reach 200,000 COVID-19 deaths by Labor Day, or 9/11… if you are counting excess deaths we passed that a long time ago… or if you are an idiot, we are at 6% of any of that. Any way you count it, we aren’t quite at the end of the world. (That’s months away.)
In the meantime, we have David Waldman and Greg Dworkin to entertain and inform us:
Donald Trump is encouraging North Carolinians to vote early, and late, and often. This will help test the system. (Donald is known to be an ardent system-tester.) You can post Biden-Harris campaign signs in your Animal Crossing front yards! Maybe the Trump campaign can work something out with some different game?
Donald Trump is a loser. Many are afraid to say it, but this is not a close race. Joe Biden leads, like he always has, and that is likely to continue. Moreover, Donald Trump is losing, like he always has, and that is likely to continue. That is why it will be such a bummer when Trump’s still president. Joe Biden will have to win the popular vote by at least 6 points to reduce the chance of hearing Nate Silver’s 2021 “Well actually, I said Donald Trump always had a chance of winning” down to 2%.
Lindsey Graham won’t have the Electoral College to save him.
Instead of eliminating the filibuster, maybe it can be flipped to incentivize not using it?
Still, more Republicans and white people plan to vote Biden, perhaps because they feel there’s more of a chance of still having white people and Republicans if they vote for Joe. Some white people will always want to keep white people in charge, even if there is nothing left. Glen “Wild” Clay Higgins represents those people. Clay is ready to drop Black protesters right where they stand. He compares abortion to the Holocaust, and the Holocaust to… military spending? Facebook believes that Higgins sometimes incites violence.
Witnesses describe the night Kyle Rittenhouse opened fire during protests after the shooting of Jacob Blake in Kenosha. Kyle’s lawyer figures that after a mass shooter’s first shot, all the rest is self defense.
Wed, 2 September 2020
Tue, 1 September 2020
It’s Tuesday! That means it’s Joan McCarter Day! David Waldman had all the KITM candelabras lit for his acclaimed rendition of Hallelujah, but then our lawyers called...
Sure, you think you’re important, but are you “Left-wing ninjas are coming to YOUR neighborhood to pick on YOU” important? You would think only someone the stature of Rand Paul could ever be that significant and prominent, but in Donald Trump’s America, supersoldiers are booking commercial flights marked “Washington to wherever” in “black uniforms with gear and this and that"... and they’re coming for YOU. Dark shadows have already claimed Joe Biden. Police are powerless.They can’t shoot even one Black guy and call for a mulligan anymore.
And that is why Trump moved to shut Congress out of intelligence on Russian election interference.
As Donald Trump and Mike Pence told us to get back to work and hope for a miracle, their own coronavirus task force whispered the bad news to the states. The University of Michigan’s board of regents is chaired by Ann Arbor’s largest landlord, who’d be out tens of millions of dollars in rent if students didn’t return, so…
And that is why Dr. Scott Atlas is Donald Trump's new Covid health adviser. Dr Atlas has already fixed all of Florida’s problems, and he will be bringing that same expertise to the rest of our nation. We’re all going to die.
Inherent contempt had accumulated a lot of dust since David last spruced it up, but now the McGahn appeals court panel says the House has no legal ability to enforce subpoenas, so therefore as David and Armando have recommended, Congress must use inherent contempt power to enforce its subpoenas.
Meanwhile, the D.C. Circuit denied Michael Flynn's petition to force the federal judge on his case to grant the DOJ's motion to dismiss the prosecution, in a reversal of the initial three-judge panel ruling in Flynn's favor. A federal appeals panel temporarily blocked a lower court ruling that was to force Trump to comply with the subpoena on his taxes.
Speaking of subpoenas, the House Oversight Committee is preparing to subpoena Postmaster General Louis DeJoy, and chairman of the USPS board of governors Robert Duncan, for the documents they’re concealing. Robert Duncan is also the director of Mitch McConnell's $130 million super PAC, the Senate Leadership Fund. He is also a director of American Crossroads Super PAC, which spent $1.9 million backing Trump this cycle.
Melania Trump does. not. care.
Mon, 31 August 2020
David Waldman returns to take us out of August and… OMG there’s still two months to go.
Greg Dworkin returns for the first time since the Republican National Pageant of Knuckleheads, which no one watched anyhow. This might have been intentional, as contradictory messages could then be repackaged and disseminated to their intended microtargets later… yeah, like they thought that out.
As roller coasters go, 2020 polling is kind of tranquil, almost soothing. Is 6 points too close for comfort? Nate Cohn might need about mid-November or so to give us solid numbers. Still, wherever there is a bellwether, there’s Joe Leading in it. Joe Biden’s voters may not be asking for much, but Joe is showing he can deliver that and even more.
The former Chief of Staff to Senator Olympia Snowe was concerned about Susan Collins, but no more.
Who trusts Jared Kushner? Definitely not Don McGahn.
Donald Trump is a lying prick. It is his brand, and Trump is devoted to his brand. Will Trump’s conveniently timed COVID-19 vaccine be on brand? Herd immunity is even more on brand: you do it yourself, and you pay for it. Anyhow, the late Herman Cain says it’s not as bad as it seems. Robert Trump might also attest to that, but of course he also might have been paid off.
Soon, there will be Cameo for journalists, where 50 bucks will get you a juicy tidbit they haven’t yet mentioned to their editor. But for now you still need to wait for their book to come out. The DOJ secretly curtailed FBI investigation of Trump ties to Russia. It must have been a well-kept secret as dozens of FBI agents were standing right there. Rod Rosenstein lands a job with the Other Side.
Fri, 28 August 2020
David Waldman returns after successfully dropping off his son at college and avoiding a whole day of Republican National Convention BS.
Now it’s all over but the shouting… and Rand Paul wetting his pants running away. Donald Trump wanted his RNC speech backdrop to be the White House or a big cemetery and it looks like he got it. The October surprise for some South Lawn attendees will be finding themselves under headstones after just 40 days. As Republicans say, we all have to go sometime, so it might be best for them if it was before the election results come out.
After his lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying , lying, lying and lying last night, Donald Trump announced that he’d head out to Texas and Louisiana and check out the courses this weekend, but he didn’t have his hopes up. Donald will want to head back to his own properties where he can soak the Secret Service, taxpayers, or any rube he can find. After all, that is the image he’s cultivated for decades. It’s what his public expects. David Fahrenthold can tell you all about that. Unfortunately, Trump’s public also expects him to crack down on disloyal reporters.
More on the Twitter story of the public defender crossing the wrong people in the police department, who was targeted with retaliatory arrest, possibly fake warrants, faked police agencies, and completely fake justice. She lucked out — police take care of good apples all the time. A Black Vice Mayor in Virginia urged a police chief’s firing. Now she faces charges.
Thu, 27 August 2020
Same convention, different day. Nothing to see there, maybe less. As good as day as any for David Waldman to drop his kid off to start college, and to provide us with a brand new show about something else.
Hear about the internet? It’s an awful place, with crazy people doing mean things. Which might be ok, if they stayed there, but for some, fantasy blurs into reality, and virtual becomes actual. Some people get off on convincing idiots, ignoramuses, newbies and normies of stupid things for lulz. Some, like the three people who popularized the Qanon theory, make a living ruining lives. The owner of 8chan, who might be connected to Gamergate, the Christchurch massacre, targeting federal judges, stolen credit card information and child pornography, might also be Qanon, home of sick people telling sick things to other sick people to convince them to do sick things, and to most everyone’s surprise lately, convincing sort of normal people to do stupid things.
This isn’t new. Remember when the Procter & Gamble logo was declared a “secret Satanic message?” Procter & Gamble’s loss was surely somebody’s gain. Dr. Zeynep Tufekci was able to predict the modern menace of pandemics and social media’s destruction of society by paying close attention to the past. Donald Trump doesn’t know, doesn’t understand, and doesn’t care. We’ll just have to wait for a president that does.
Wed, 26 August 2020
It’s my birthday, and right now David Waldman is in the kitchen baking me a second KITM! That one’s coming out tomorrow, pre-recorded, piping fresh! But first:
Only two days of Republican convention in the crapper so far. Dozens of hours of lies have already been pinched off for the sole benefit of those people hunting for that one lie that will somehow allow them to lie to themselves on election day. Mary Ann Mendoza almost made it to the RNC stage to boost Qanon conspiracy lies, including the granddaddy of them all, “The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion”. She didn’t get the chance, so the FBI Twitter account helped out. Natalie Harp did make her RNC speech. A heartwarming, inspirational speech, and a lie. The White House lied to cover up the Hatch Act violations of a naturalization ceremony-sideshow lie-officiated by Chad Wolf, whose title and position are lies. Bob from the RNC roll call did not technically lie, but he certainly stretched things.
Maybe if some of those lies “stick”, then the polls will tighten, but that is not what is happening now. Donald Trump has a well-earned trust gap that 4 days can’t take away. Trump also wasn’t able to scare Democrats away from mail-in ballots, so it’s now up to Louis DeJoy to put the snail back in mail. More than 20 election administrators have resigned following death threats.
Two people were shot and killed during a protest in Kenosha, that was protesting the police shooting of Jacob Blake. The police finally had to arrest the shooter. They really liked that white kid too. The black kids he shot they already decided were human garbage.
There is still a COVID-19 pandemic, no matter what they say. And, no matter what they say, masks work, turning a $56.14 ROI on $.75. South Korea recloses its schools, while Sturgis bikers spread coronavirus to at least 8 states.
Tue, 25 August 2020
Happy birthday to Sean Connery, turning 90 today! Although he’s not yet 90, it is also Armando’s birthday today! And by an amazing cosmic coincidence, it’s also David Waldman’s birthday today! If that wasn’t enough for you... it’s my birthday tomorrow! Happy birthday everyone!
One day down of the Republican National collective delusion. It is the Trump Convention, so the “plan”, as always, is to put the absolute bare minimum of effort in between golf weekends, and then to claim that it was the best that could ever have been done. Don Jr. was higher than any bar set for Republicans last night.
Whether a pitcher, catcher, or merely an enthusiastic fan in stands, the nonetheless sleazy, cowardly little weasel Jerry Falwell Jr. — previously on righteously eternal suspension from Liberty University, now goes home — you got to hope it is to be nowhere near anyone’s family.
Meanwhile, the University of Alabama reported over 500 COVID-19 cases last week. Researchers say a Hong Kong man is the first confirmed to catch Covid-19 twice, but more research will be needed to determine what a disaster that is. David will need to add a whole new column on his spreadsheet.
The well-worked refs over at Twitter give Trump another warning, still throwing out anyone else committing the same offence. Any Trump not at the convention will tell you: Donald Trump has no principals and you can’t trust him.
Donald goes full Andrew Jackson against the Supreme Court, and then some. The Trump family went full Palin in D.C. following Robert Trump's White House funeral. A public defender describes her retaliatory arrest. Vlad laments America’s loss of style. A Ukrainian Oligarch picked up $21 million in Paycheck Protection Program loans. It’s nice to know a guy.
Joan McCarter reports on the several cans of worms opened at Louis DeJoy’s House investigation. Dejoy will not put any postal sorting machines back, in fact brand new ones continue to be thrown out. Trump has no problems eliminating any support for Social Security. Susan Collins has problems eliminating Donald Trump from her background.
Mon, 24 August 2020
Before we can make it to the finale of Presidential Apprentice we will first need to survive this week’s denouement, although we’ll be seeing many of our contestants, probably for the last time, hopefully. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin host Day One of the last days.
Just in time for the show, Donald Trump debuted another breakthrough COVID-19 cure, which is neither a breakthrough or a cure, or even a debut, but Trump made sure we will never sure how it works or even how to ever make it work, and that’s ok by him. You see, 57% of Republicans see the 176,000+ coronavirus deaths as acceptable… and seeing that they are dividing the total number of deaths by “3/5ths”, that kind of makes sense.
Sturgis motorcycle rally COVID-19 cases in South Dakota have spread to North Dakota, somehow.
The convention speeches probably won’t mention the Postal Service hearings happening now, although that will probably be what their audience is talking about. Chickens and turkeys are having mass die-offs in the mail before we can put them in our mouths, and before anyone gets paid.
Conventioneers might also be talking about Jerry Falwell Jr. Jerry “admits” that his wife had an affair with the pool boy, or maybe he was “bragging”, or maybe he was just “requesting a refund”. (Similar to how Donald likes to watch Homeland Security take its orders from TV’s Lou Dobbs.)
Fri, 21 August 2020
Some convention, huh?
Joe Biden gave a speech, which is all he really had to do. Joe however, gave a great speech, as great as anyone could ever want. David Waldman sweeps up the confetti and talks with Ian Reifowitz, author of The Tribalization of Politics: How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump—every copy purchased today contains a free pass into next week’s 2020 Republican National Convention!
Ian and David agree that if Republicans would eliminate the racism and corruption in their party they might be onto something. That doesn’t seem to be the plan any time soon. In fact, they don’t seem to be planning a plan any time soon. If anything, it’s poised to get worse.
Ian is on the reopening planning committee at his kid’s NYC school. Those folks know how to plan, and implement.
Donald Trump says he wants sheriffs and law enforcement and attorneys and everybody and attorney generals to get out the vote… or get the voters out, at least purportedly. (He’ll probably just lob in teargas.) Trump doesn’t need to assign a paramilitary solution to Biden voters if he has Qanon volunteering to do it. Of course, Qanon is a grift. Weak minds are a gold mine.
Which brings us to Steve KG Bannon. Steve was arrested by postal inspectors off the coast of Connecticut in the yacht of a fugitive Chinese billionaire, thus ruining James Bond films for all time. Rounding out the story, there is a “not-so-innocent” one-armed man, a mysterious benefactor, a many-tentacled umbrella company… and a bunch more cool cars and boats and stuff.
And deep in the shadows… No wait, right there in the open, is Donald Trump. The moment William Barr hit the klaxon, Trump dove for the escape pod, and attempted to lay down a smoke screen... but will he escape? We’ll find out soon!
Thu, 20 August 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin welcome you to the climatic final day of the 2020 Democratic National Convention, brought to you by Donald Trump. If the world didn’t have so much to fix, the convention wouldn’t have been half as good.
Kamala Harris already changed the world for the better last night. And! Last night, The President of the United States returned to address the nation! Makes one feel good to be an American. Of course, the more things change, the more they remain the same. Some whine for more, while some are out there making it happen.
Bill O’Reilly worries Biden-Harris might turn their back on him. No one has turned their back on O’Reilly in years. We’ll see how the Gop convention turns out for him. (Not brought to you by Goodyear)
Crusted phlegm Steve KG Bannon was arrested and indicted, charged with fraud and money laundering, after illegally shaking down wall-loving rubes. Steve might be wearing his overlapping half dozen popped-collar orange jumpsuits for the next 20 years. Joining him are a rogue’s gallery of villainy, including Kris Kobach, Erik Prince, Tom Tancredo, Sheriff David Clarke and former pitcher Curt Schilling, along with anyone else in the swamp that heard “wall” and “money”. Donald Trump hasn’t heard of any of those guys.
It has been revealed that the Senate Intelligence Committee made criminal referrals of Donald Trump Jr., Jared Kushner, Steve Bannon, Erik Prince and Sam Clovis to federal prosecutors in 2019
Trump’s attempt to dodge a subpoena for his tax records was nixed by a federal judge.
The election will not go smoothly, and Trump will cause trouble. How much trouble will we allow him to cause? Louis DeJoy promised a couple things, but isn’t about to repair the damage he already created. Also, he was lying about stopping. Laura Loomer is a loon, but Qanon is nuts, and now they’re coming to DC. What’s the problem with electing representatives of terrorist groups to the other side of the metal detectors? Then there’s Russia. Russiagate was not a hoax. Russia could turn out to be a little too real.
Wed, 19 August 2020
Another beautiful morning shines over KITM 2020 Democratic Convention World Headquarters. Plenty of calamari left to share from last night, along with David Waldman, Greg Dworkin and a brand new guest!
Denise Oliver Velez pays close attention to a lot around here, and around the world. She would like everyone to do likewise, especially those in the mainstream media whose job it is to pay attention to the details, like Skee-Wee, and sweeping cultural and political history, such as the importance of African-American fraternities and sororities. For instance The Divine 9, amazingly enough might be confused with gang members if viewed in a misogynoir, or just plain ignorant light. If Denise’s mom were alive she would have voted for Hillary. Denise will be delighted to be voting for Kamala.
Universities worked themselves into an absolutely impossible position where all choices lead to doom, even before COVID-19. Now they will have to take the students with them. One teacher in Georgia can’t fix all that Brian Kemp has done, but she comes close.
If Donald Trump hadn’t come along, this year’s Democratic convention would not have been this great. This is the digital decency convention, a socially distancing big tent with no Colin Powell heckling, no Bill Clinton heckling, no Bernie-Biden or Biden-Bernie heckling! Foam hats and fingers were replaced by 57 backyards and plain speaking.
Of course, there will also be some plain speaking at next week’s Gop convention. Laura Loomer would make a good keynote speaker, or maybe Mr. Pillow, or Miss Moscow. There’s a good 1,000 pages written already, by the Senate Intelligence Committee. There was no collusion, by the way. Putin did what he wanted, Trump let him. Plenty of lying to congress, with some light treason. As far as Trump’s and people like him are concerned, he’s innocent enough, until the handcuffs go on. Even after that, history will eventually smile upon them, like it does Nazis and Confederate soldiers.
The rest of us can vote for Joe Biden. Most Americans are embarrassed by Trump’s response to coronavirus, the USPS… anything. Except for the time when he enabled Biden and Harris’ future protection of immigrants.
Tue, 18 August 2020
David Waldman is joined by Joan McCarter at KITM 2020 Democratic Convention World Headquarters to assist in blowing up virtual balloons, singing Springsteen and reviewing yesterday’s opening night. Analysts and hecklers were sidelined, and no funny hats, but Michelle Obama spoke directly to me, and so far that makes it the best ever. Tonight: Chuck Schumer! ...Followed by John Kerry! Woohoo! And following them… a minute or so of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. (Probably in conjunction with her AMA on Instagram.)
Donald Trump didn’t like it. No one appreciates that Trump has done so much more for the crummy, horrible, dumb people in the United States. In fact, Donald could talk your ear off about how ungrateful the Blacks and the Jews are these days. Suburban housewives though, they can shut up. He’s brought them a long way, baby. Trump will announce an executive order allowing Rosa Parks to sit anywhere on a bus in 1955. Also, it’s now legal for Susan B. Anthony to vote in 1872.
Anyhow, Michelle got Trump’s COVID-19 death toll wrong. He’s scored 30,000 more than she said, at least! Meanwhile, 71 of Mississippi's 82 counties are reporting coronavirus outbreaks on their first day of school. The jury’s still out on whether Adrenochrome, harvested from the fear of children, has a beneficial use against COVID-19—“the jury” being bat-shit crazy Qanoners who are now stealing kids to get their own little taste.
Speaking of evil, Postmaster General Louis DeJoy (not to be confused with non-evil short track Hall-of-Famer Don LaJoie) is destroying the Post Office to swing the election, and his stock portfolio. Susan Collins is concerned. Mitch McConnell is not concerned, yet. But Steny Hoyer and Nancy Pelosi are working to coax him out of his shell.
Trump just might pardon Edward Snowden… and there’s a senate report confirming Russia used Paul Manafort and WikiLeaks to sway the 2016 election. Remember emoluments? There are three pending cases on Trump’s violation of the emoluments clause, and it looks as if they will be pending still on election day. Remember Miles Taylor? Donald Trump does not. Katie Walsh led talks to remove Trump from the 2016 ticket. You might remember her as an RNC superstar, and one of the only “pro”s to work at the Trump White House.
Mon, 17 August 2020
The Post Office is deactivating mail sorting machines ahead of the election, along with other changes expressly designed to cripple the mail. But, you mess with the Post Office and you mess with Greg Dworkin, as well as many others because much love is sent through the mail, but also so are a lot of medications. This is exactly the plight rural Americans always find themselves struggling against, as well as small businesses, and the exactly the conditions that drives them to the polls. The entire nation is already feeling the slowdown—even Taylor Swift reached Marvelette-levels of concern over the well-being of the USPS this weekend. Mitch McConnell correctly sensed it was time to duck and cover, but it might be too late as several states are considering legal action, Nancy Pelosi calls the House back for a Postal Service protection bill, and convention speeches get rewritten.
We might even get to see Louis DeJoy tazed by the Sergeant at Arms if we’re lucky. Of course, there is some procedure and protocol to go through first. As always, David counsels an orderly following of norms, but reminds us there is precedent to haul his ass in if required.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition, but silly as it may seem, everybody expects a tightening of polls, except Greg. Ah, but we are becoming slightly more enthusiastic! Joe is in a historically strong position. 9 points ain’t bad! It’s not as good as, say, 10 or 12 points, but just wait until you see the convention bounce! The South Carolina Senate moves from “likely” to “lean” Republican, which is completely better than the opposite direction. The Republican’s chief problem is that they weren’t hired to govern, they were hired to stop governance. They can’t be expected to do things. Trump was accidentally elected last time, so the plan is to just repeat that.
Similarly, Trump’s plan to fight coronavirus is to stumble into a “cure”. Until then, more people will die, only a fraction will be counted, and even less will be reported. In Georgia, Brian Kemp wears his ignorance like most people should wear a mask.
Fri, 14 August 2020
David Waldman doesn’t just “talk” today, he chats! And, there’s a lot to chat about:
You could leaf through your dog-eared copy of Obama's America: A Transformative Vision of Our National Identity this weekend, but why not give The Tribalization of Politics: How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump a shot? That’s KITM’s New Friday regular Ian Reifowitz's latest tome. Ian’s here to explain how Jared Kushner rode Prince Mohammed bin Salman’s pocket to diplomatic victory yesterday, and why Benjamin Netanyahu just dropped his annexation dream for a reelection photo-op… and the rebirth of enduring Middle East peace.
So, Donald Trump has a success story about 4 years in, and a few months away from reelection. But, he isn’t tired of winning yet. Donald is delighted to take part in the destruction of democracy and the post office. Any and all consequences are “unintended” by Trump, so any path to destruction is ok with him as long as there’s fool coverage.
For Donald Trump, any feces is fine feces to throw. A Kamala Harris birther conspiracy would be pretty much expected from his campaign, but particularly chafed Armando’s chaps, spurring him to call in today. Armando sees citizenship questions not so much as an attack on Harris, but a strategy to eventually take the rights from millions.
The GAO determined that Chad Wolf was not lawfully named the Acting Secretary of Homeland Security, and that Ken Cucinelli wasn't lawfully appointed even to his proper position at DHS, thus cementing their careers for the duration of the Trump administration.
Thu, 13 August 2020
Welcome to the 9th anniversary of Kagro in the Morning! This is my 5th one!
David Waldman notices schools reopening, then to be forced to close because of the obviously ongoing coronavirus pandemic, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, and again. Maybe it can work like snow closings, where schools won’t close until a certain number of children freeze to death? Ron DeSantis wants children to keep fighting until he can drop their bodies off of an aircraft carrier.
Donald Trump had yet another pandemic briefing, in which he said the same things again, again, again, again, again, again, etc., adding a little extra racism and misogyny with each performance. Trump won’t be hosting this year’s G-7 summit, news that actually gets better with repetition.
Public health officials discover that the more people they save, the more physical danger they find themselves in, due to the spreading lunatic plague. Qanon is mental gonorrhea for Republicans, which seems to be as recurring a condition as the common kind for them. In fact, they kind of seem to like to get it on them lately.
NC billionaire Greg Lindberg seems to have reached the threshold for brazenousness required to capture the attention of federal prosecutors. One incredibly simple question if Biden is elected: whether to prosecute Trump. Trump plans to shut down democracy, and the Post Office. Soon, it will be up to the Army.
Greg Dworkin suggests a landslide victory over a civil war. Joe Biden and Kamala Harris are ready to deliver one. On the other hand, Trump figures that if he insults Kamala harshly enough, women will flock to him. Or if coronavirus cancels enough sports, men will admire him. Voters will love a father figure, just like him.
Wed, 12 August 2020
The wait is over! We were all on tenterhooks for a bit, with all of the intense speculation, second-guessing, rumors swirling… But, Joan McCarter did return! Turns out she was just on vacation. Whew! Joan called in to report that California Sen. Kamala Harris will be running for Vice President on the Democratic ticket, and that she is a very good, and popular choice and certain to work well for Joe Biden. Grassroot money already approves of Kamala. (Please remember to pay in Alpha Kappa Alpha denominations)
Greg Dworkin concurs with the enthusiasm, telling us that the big papers are running “the safe choice” essays, while conservative pundits are pointing out how Kamala is a Wall Street connected commie soft on crime narc, who isn’t quite black or female enough to qualify as “a woman of color”... and where’s her birth certificate? Donald Trump sums it all up as… oh wait, that’s a parody essay. What Trump really said was… uhm. Suburban housewives, who Donald pictures looking like Ivanka in gingham aprons, are now Trump’s last hope.
Ilhan Omar has won her Democratic primary election. So did
Joe Biden leads Trump by about 10 points, since about forever. Which, seems to be a good thing, on the face of it... But, what about those who don’t like that answer, or would really rather have Trump leading, or those who just hated being yelled at by everybody in 2016 and wanted to hedge their bet? Pretty much the same answer. Political consultants know, but aren’t in the job of telling you the answer.
David Waldman also knew Kamala Harris would be the pick, but chose not to steal anyone’s thunder by making an early announcement. Republicans know they could never compete statewide in Washington DC or Puerto Rico, but no one has the heart to make them say why that’s the case. Perhaps we can save the Post Office by not sending things. Trump sues to prevent dropboxes.
More than 200 students went into coronavirus quarantine near Muncie Indiana this week. School boards just want an agreed upon death count to establish proper education. That, and staff and cash. Without cash, pretty much everything will end soon. (The UK economy suffered its biggest slump on record between April and June.)
Tue, 11 August 2020
How can you top yesterday’s KITM, with both Armando and Greg Dworkin as guests? Well, you can’t. However, it is always possible that David Waldman did! Hit the link above, and see if he pulled it off.
Winter is coming, and windows will begin to close, including America’s window of opportunity to beat back Covid-19... and, those windows on those schools we’re now herding our children into. 800 more students went into quarantine in Georgia. Guam’s governor tested positive for coronavirus. Most Americans won’t be able to get a coronavirus vaccine until well into 2021. Vladimir Putin claims that Russia has the world’s first approved COVID-19 vaccine, although it will need to be administered by a needle hidden in the tip of a nurse’s shoe.
Yesterday, some reporter made the mistake of asking Donald Trump a question. Mockery thus ensued, justifications were rationalized, and in the morning the cycle begins again. Each day, White House staff build Potemkin villages around Donald Trump. Governor Kristi Noem even created a Spinal Tap-scaled Mount Rushmore for her village! American contractors knew 2,750 tons of ammonium nitrate were stored in a Beirut warehouse, and many people know how that can turn out, and yet Trump said it was “a bomb”… and then drug some of our great generals into it. Defense Secretary Mark Esper didn’t realize he was on the wrong side of the Potemkin walls until it was pointed out to him.
Is TikTok’s… time running out? Well, Donald Trump says he thinks that app’s hot, and when Donald likes what he sees, that’s never a good sign. Trump wants some “key money”, or he will simply just destroy the company. Meanwhile, as per usual mob protocol, Trump’s lawyers will be challenging any subpoenas coming their way.
The stock market doesn't reflect Americans' pain. It certainly does not reflect Ivanka Trump’s pain, who made about 4 million in one year from the Trump DC hotel, and still felt the need to request severance pay.
Mandamus: It’s not just a river in New Zealand. It’s also a deeply concerning and misguided D.C. Circuit ruling in the Michael Flynn Case.
Mon, 10 August 2020
Back from the weekend, David Waldman begins the week, right after the weekend as anticipated:
9 people tested positive for coronavirus at that Georgia school with that crowded photo. More than 250 students and teachers in that school district have been quarantined. Nearly 100,000 children tested positive in the last two weeks of July. Well, all of those COVID-19 cases have certainly put an end to that debate… didn’t they? No, Donald Trump has killed thousands, so why stop now?
Back from about a week of tropical storm degraded internet, Greg Dworkin is here to report that Joe Biden is still doing very well in his election bid. He’s beating Hillary Clinton. Heck, he could even beat Donald Trump, if given half a chance. Biden will probably capture the Democratic nomination and might announce a vice presidential running mate even before that.
It turns out the method of infiltrating an organization and making it dysfunctional is quite similar to the method of advancing to a senior position in politics.
Do you know that it’s Donald Trump’s dream to have his face on Mount Rushmore? Team Trump hoped South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem could make Donald’s dream come true. Eager to please, Kristi delivered to Donald exactly what he deserved.
The image of Donald Trump at Bedminster, sharpieing things in front of cocktail swilling millionaires also won’t be engraved on the back of a dollar bill soon. Most of the things he sharpied weren’t what people thought they were. They weren’t what his staff thought they were. They aren’t going to do what Trump says they’ll do. Trump in fact changed what he said moments later. He’ll change what he said he said, moments from now. Whatever it is, Larry Kudlow will double it. Chuck Schumer doubts if it’s legal, but even if so, that wasn’t Trump’s intention. Nancy Pelosi wants no part of it, and just wants to get back to work. And, back from months of self-exile, Armando explains Trump’s latest executive actions and exactly how inadequate, unworkable and unlawful they really are.
Fri, 7 August 2020
Good news—Ian Reifowitz, the author of The Tribalization of Politics: How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump (Buy a second copy, for the beach!), a regular on Daily Kos, will now be a Friday regular on KITM!
Ian brings his historical and thematic analysis expertise to David Waldman’s virtual conference table to review Barack Obama’s July 30th eulogy of John Lewis. Obama framed John Lewis’ legacy as a bridge to the past, present and future of the Democratic party, America, and humanity, while giving Joe Biden a boost, and purpose.
Before taking off work on Thursday on route to the golf course, or church, whichever comes first, Donald Trump was forced to come to God’s rescue yet again because Joe Biden was making him cry. Mike DeWine presented his “get out of a photo op” doctor’s note and slipped out the back way. DeWine can use the same note to get out of his next Trump picture too. Dr. Amy “Action!” Acton is smart enough to know how to get to Sesame Street, and better yet, smart enough to get the hell out of the DeWine administration.
Two teenagers were suspended for posting a picture of their school hall stuffed with students, who if they wanted privacy should have worn a mask. This weekend, 250,000 Bikers will join together in individuality to rebel against their safety and yours.
The Navy SEAL Museum can’t use blackface on their K9 victims anymore, but they made do.
The New York attorney general is actually suing the N.R.A. and is seeking its closure. The amount of corruption that requires is more than any individual Republican could ever muster, so Wayne LaPierre needed to recruit every friend and family member he could find to pull it off.
Thu, 6 August 2020
Welcome! Congratulations on completing your quest to locate this page! David Waldman awaits at the end of our maze to bestow Thursday’s KITM upon weary adventurers.
Donald Trump does not know much and could not care less. Why should he? What has either attribute ever done for him? Trump knows it isn’t really worth using correct statistics, correctly. For his audience, why bother? (People who need to pay attention are less impressed.)
Yet, stupidly lying remains easy and profitable for Trump. Of course, Twitter locked the Trump campaign’s account for saying stupid lies, but it also locked the accounts of people pointing out that they were stupid lies. So, in the end does the United States deserve this Trump pandemic? Infectious people continue to head to restaurants, and soon they will send their infectious kids to school...
Wed, 5 August 2020
Tropical Storm Isaias swept through Connecticut, knocking out the power to more than 700,000, but not for our ever-prescient Greg Dworkin, who just last month thought to install a household generator. Alas, Greg must still need to climb the pole outside to make his Skype calls, because that just wasn’t going to happen today.
You can bet Greg would have wanted to talk about the electoral/primary news coming out of Missouri, Arizona, Kansas, Michigan, and Washington. MO Republicans attempted to block health coverage for hundreds of thousands, but voters wouldn’t let them. 20 year congressman Lacy Clay was primaried out by BLM rebel Cori Bush. Rashida Tlaib kept her primary challenger at bay.
In Beirut, Lebanon, a series of fires and explosions were soon followed by a really massive explosion. Donald Trump operates under the assumption that he’s President of the United states, but in reality couldn’t be more stupid if there were two of him, so he thought he’d sound “on top of things” if he stated it was “a bomb”. That would be a abhorrently inappropriate statement to make, had Donald Trump actually been president. Others in Washington are just beginning to contemplate the devastation.
Then there’s the COVID-19 pandemic, or if you pick door #2, the upcoming seasonal “polio-like condition”. Italy and Sweden both have learned the hard way, but at least they learned. Of course, Sweden chose their hard way on purpose.
Tue, 4 August 2020
David Waldman makes “it” at least 110% of what “it is” today:
Worse yet, Axios’ interviewer Jonathan Swan, never swayed by pity nor glee, kept offering Trump opportunities to reply, and his each reply was a perfect layup on the wrong side of the court. Swan wanted to discuss the proportion of COVID-19 deaths to the US population, but Trump could only talk of it compared to cases, which is like Swan asking to consider how many of Titanic’s passengers have died, but Trump only wanting to talk about the survival rate of lifeboat occupants.
Trump believes that John Lewis could have been a bit more like Herman Cain.
The Donald Trump Tremendous Health Care Plan, due yesterday, is due in a few weeks, maybe the end of the month, hopefully prior to the end of the month, or next. Indiana State suspends football practice for 14 days, because two weeks fixes everything.
Mon, 3 August 2020
David Waldman might have thought those long nights talking, drinking beers out back on the White House porch swing might have been long forgotten, but as it turns out, Barack Obama did remember, and took steps to make certain that Joe Biden will also remember to turn off that Jim Crow relic filibuster the moment he turns on the lights in the Oval Office. Actually, the filibuster as it exists today has been David’s bête noire for a bit, so today’s KITM will take an historical perspective on this fight.
We still suffer from a pandemic. Greg Dworkin describes how schools can’t be opened safely now. The push for opening schools is guaranteed to fail. Opening safely is in fact a fantasy. (Michael Rapaport explains.) Of course, fantasy is all that Republicans have anymore... Dems panic! Joe Biden is too slow and too hasty in picking a VP! Joe will melt down in a debate! Ah, we will miss all those Republicans after we vote them out.
But what if Donald Trump’s plan to terrorize urban voting centers in swing states isn’t quite enough to capture the vote, and yet he refuses to leave? David outlines several official procedures of orderly succession … for Trump to poop on! Seriously, what incentive would Trump have to follow any rules by that point? Perhaps, if Donald can kill voting by mail, less voters will have to die. Louis DeJoy, a top Trump fundraiser and Republican operative, pretends to be Postmaster General but can’t hold a candle to Wilford Brimley, who will be missed.
Fri, 31 July 2020
Do you remember a time when we weren't mired in the pandemic, and we pretended we didn't know who was going to be the Democratic nominee? If you're like me, then there's no way in the world that you do! Luckily, when that actually happened, on July 31st of last year, we recorded it, like a time capsule!
David Waldman wanted to have an in-depth discussion of last night’s Democratic presidential debate, but would be, as per KITM rules, held to 480 fifteen second rebuttals. Your friends and neighbors will be glad to tell you who “won”, as would complete strangers, but David instead invited Joan McCarter, who can prove she paid some attention last night, even to the Hickenlooper parts… In sum: Bernie and Elizabeth Butch and Sundanced their way through all the b-listers Jake Tapper could throw at them, while Marianne Williamson pegged the clap-o-meter... yada, yada, yada, on to Biden-night.
Russia and 2020 election security loom large for Moscow Mitch McConnell in the nomination of Representative/Loon John Ratcliffe to be director of national intelligence. Susan Collins is deeply concerned as the deciding vote, as she is deeply concerned about the reaction to all of her votes since Brett Kavanaugh.
Moscow Mitch McConnell threatened to take away Republican’s recess if they don’t reach the 60-vote threshold he needs on the upcoming debt ceiling budget vote. The House did their part, easily passing their agreement and eliminating policy provisions restricting money to Trump’s wall… Armando calls in to say “Wait. WHAT ?!?”
Thu, 30 July 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin bring us breaking news: We’re doomed… Plus:
Donald Trump made history yet again today, with the worst ever US economy dump. In response, Trump tweeted a morning implausible scenario suggestion. It’s implausible because, well Constitution, duh... Also, why bother when taking out swing state urban centers require much less effort? Not delivering mail takes less effort than delivering, for instance.
Herman Cain took one for the team, and probably won’t even be thanked for his service. There will be plenty of time for all of us to play high school football in heaven, but right now we have to deal with a pandemic and economic collapse.
Republicans are completely unprepared for any scenario, including heaven apparently. Utter and total defeat might not be enough to teach them a damn thing… but, you know what, that’s ok. Democrats, IT’S CLOBBERATION TIME!
Why would $600 make anyone lazier? The Trump family stole $170 million dollars, and they’re all still out there hustling. Turning Point USA’s Bill Montgomery died from coronavirus, and Charlie Kirk was right there to pick up the pieces and Bill’s wallet.
Brett Kavanaugh is here to tell us that Brett’s the kind of guy Kavanaugh always said he was.
And — Darwin H.M., @Darwin_Darko describes how West Point fails its mission and graduates with its retreat from meaningfully addressing systemic racism.
Wed, 29 July 2020
Joe Biden hasn’t yet announced his VP choice, so David Waldman and Greg Dworkin present a KITM that we can listen to while we wait:
Have you been saving your urine for something important? Dr. Stella Immanuel wants dibs. If he scores that second term, Donald Trump is on the record as being very impressed with Stella’s Witchfinder General curriculum vitae. Her ABEM seems kinda FUBAR though.
Trump’s declining approval now includes Republican declining approval. Donald Trump faces a much bigger task than he did in 2016 The thing is, Donald has never been that big on tasks. Absentee voting requests are skyrocketing. Republicans can only wish dead people voted as often as they’ve claimed. Donald turned off the lights in Michigan, just as Joe turned them on in Georgia. Trump is losing blue collars in Scranton. Independents go blue everywhere. Joe’s voters begin to feel the love, Donald’s are just going to stick around until one of them dies. You can believe the polls, if not the interpreters.
Republicans literally can’t believe the mess they’re in. Like their constituents, they need to really feel the symptoms before they can imagine the illness. By the way, Louis Gohmert has tested positive. How a neurological disease latched onto those three brain cells, we might never know. If these guys can't deal with a pandemic in their midst, how can they deal with… anything? Don’t worry, Donald Trump assures us that federal troops will be deploying into urban centers in swing states with vaccine guns in the near future.
What does Donald talk to Vlad about? Oh, nothing important.
Martha McSally promised voters that her campaign would "suspend all campaign fundraising" but she didn’t say they wouldn’t be collecting a little pocket money.
Black Lives Matter protests attract white supremacists, boogs, Hells Angels Aryan Cowboy Brotherhood, etc., and Black lives are probably not their #1 priority. The “Umbrella Man” was a white supremacist. Meanwhile, if you’re walking to your post office, and one fed says “Hands up!”, while the other says “Freeze!”, you just disobeyed one of them, a federal offence. Here, sign this.
Tue, 28 July 2020
It’s been a while since Markos Molulitsas presented the first Daily Kos as a series of sung limericks set to David Waldman’s lute accompaniment. Each update has improved the accessibility, interactivity, readability, and style over the last… although you might not feel that yet. You’ll miss this version when it’s gone!
Tuesday KITMs still feature Joan McCarter, because you know we don’t want a riot!
If you want to relive classic web design, head over to FirePowerMinistry.org (when it’s up). Dr. Stella Immanuel, the leader of Fire Power Ministries believes in alien DNA, demon sperm, hydroxychloroquine and Donald Trump. Donald also believes in hydroxychloroquine and Trump, so he was happy to spread Dr. Stella’s word, which has now been removed from YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook. Nothing will ever shake Donald Trump’s deep and abiding faith in Donald Trump, Donald’s adoration to the glory of Trump could never be usurped by mere human hardships and lamentations... especially yours.
Which brings us back to coronavirus, and those people that just don’t “get it” until they catch it. Arkansas Senator Jason Rapert introduced a bill to ban gay marriage, and unfortunately hasn’t yet been caught in a gay affair. However, Rapert did call coronavirus a hoax, and now he’s in the hospital for Covid-19. At least 10 in the Tennessee legislature have tested positive for coronavirus. It sure will take us a long time if every Republican has to learn this way. A judge has determined that belching virus at each other is not free speech, so that’s a start.
Meanwhile, more than two dozen lifeguards working the Jersey shore have tested positive for COVID-19. A couple hundred students have been exposed to coronavirus while taking their ACT tests. And, Ohio’s never been the same without Dr. Amy “Action!” Acton.
If you’ve been reading this wondering, “Wait! There seems to be a lot of money to be made here! How can I cash in?”, well, there are plenty of success stories to consider. Take for instance, the Florida man that applied for $4 million in Paycheck Protection Program (PPP) loans, and was able to buy himself a brand-new Lamborghini Huracán! If you run a hospital in a Trump supporting state with a Trump supporting mayor you can say goodbye to supplies and equipment shortages… until you do, then tough luck. Finally, a National Guard officer whistleblows on the Trump-Barr Lafayette Park photo op.
Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer reject Mitch McConnell’s COVID-19 bill. Bernie Sanders isn’t that big a fan either. Republicans are in disarray, but not in a big hurry to figure out the bill’s particulars. Donald Trump seems to be the only one ready to go for the bill, but in case he balks they can always take a chunk out of Social Security. If people can’t live on present unemployment insurance, Republicans wonder how they’ll do on less.
Trump’s announcement that he would pitch at Yankee Stadium on Aug. 15? Yep, a lie.
Mon, 27 July 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin don’t contend with snow, nor rain, nor gloom of night, but at least they deliver KITM on time.
Donald Trump isn’t even not president yet and he’s receding from public consciousness. Oh, he’s still around, and he’s still awful, but he’s lit so many fires that it’s all just one conflagration, and you can hardly see him for the flames. Voters know a vote for Joe Biden is a vote against the inferno more than anything else.
There has NEVER been a boat parade for Joe, though… and, if there wasn’t an ongoing pandemic, vicious occupying armies, an historic economic crisis, and Donald Trump as a candidate, conventional wisdom would hold that the presidential race should be tightening about now, but… Trump is losing Florida as bad as Ron DeSantis, and no one has worked harder to lose Florida than Ron DeSantis. Trump is spread thin, however, by also losing in Michigan, Arizona, and North Carolina. Anywhere coronavirus is winning, Republicans are losing. Even old white people don’t like to get burnt so often.
Public health failures, ironically, will continue to take down the popularity of the people that made public health political. Schools opening will soon close, unfortunately because children and teachers will soon become sick. And don’t get me started on USPS delays, this is the second week I missed my Friday night Netflix movie... Damn Postmaster General, multi-million-dollar major Trump donor, Louis DeJoy!
Politics continue to be rough and tumble. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez handed Ted Yoho his ass, and Ted in turn handed in his resignation to Bread for the World. Former Senator Chris Dodd goes old-school on Kamala Harris for taking a chunk out of Joe in a debate.
Donald Trump is running the country like he ran Trump University, and as usual, no one is learning a damn thing. The U.S. Ambassador to Iceland knows how much people hate the Trump administration, but doesn’t quite understand how little people really care about him.
Fri, 24 July 2020
Kagro in the Morning welcomes the new Washington Football Team and their new mascot, “Mascot”. Goooo “Team”!
David Waldman also celebrates the return of the celebrated author of The Tribalization of Politics: How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump, Ian Reifowitz. (The book that makes a great back-to-school gift!)
Donald Trump retreats from Jacksonville, his no-doubt stubby little tail between his legs, because Republicans are afraid of catching the sniffles. Too bad, it looked like it was going to turn into a real Klanbake, except without anyone as woke as say... Calvin Coolidge.
When someone says “both sides are just as bad”, what they are trying to tell you is, that they have determined that they are better than everyone else. They might be. But, never let anyone compare Democrats with Republicans, because there really is no comparison.
Nothing brings down neighborhood crime like a parade of jackboots, and Donald Trump purports to plan to send tens of thousands of pairs to certain Democratic strongholds in certain swing states around a certain election season. Steven Miller says troops should, in fact, be greeted as liberators, if they know what’s good for them. Steven Miller’s grandmother won’t have Steven dirtying her sofa during the holidays anymore. On the sad side, it’s because she died of COVID-19, so the rest of the Millers will still have to look at him.
Immigration, healthcare and various other problems will also be fixed in the next 9 days.
Michael Cohen was put into solitary confinement to shut him up about Donald Trump. Now, he’s being released from prison to shut him up about Donald Trump. Vladimir Putin is probably wondering whatever happened to all of our 5th floor windows.
Matt Gaetz improperly sent tens of thousands of taxpayer dollars to a limited liability company linked to a speech-writing consultant who was ousted from the Trump administration, who will soon be introduced as his son.
Ohio House Speaker Larry Householder laundered a $60 million bribe to shift billions of dollars to individuals around payday-loan, coal, and nuclear interests. That is the what it took for him to get caught. Imagine what he did on his way to working up to that score.
Thu, 23 July 2020
A person, woman, man, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin.
Donald Trump remembered five things once, purportedly, and he’ll never let us forget it. If only more people’s memories were better before 2016, we’d have long forgotten Donald Trump by now. Now, Republicans climb over each other trying to find the way out. Unfortunately, Donald is on the top of that pile, kicking them in the head.
Goon squads fan out across the US. A little “urban security” in just the right swing-state cities and Donald Trump won’t have to “refuse to leave”. Come 2021, Trump will still be there, totally legally, or legally enough. What are you going to do about it, arrest him? Or, arrest his goons, whomever they might be? Why look, there’s head goon Chad Wolf standing right there, breaking the law right now. Slap the cuffs on him, why don’t you? Pick up the goon ahead of him while you’re there. They’re all accomplices, right? You better not miss any, it’s goons from top to bottom. What—are you afraid? Does your mother have to go in there for you? Just look at what Donald Trump can get away with, with only a tiny number of idiots in all of the right places.
On second thought, don’t bug your mom. She has a tough enough time figuring out what to do about school this year. Everyone does. Data shows that coronavirus infections are much higher than the reported cases. Of course, a reason for that is because of the cases not being reported, or mishandled or misinterpreted. You don’t need numbers if you are in the middle of it, though.
Wed, 22 July 2020
The long-awaited KITM house band began to take form with today’s in-show delivery of an actual piano, which of course, went as smoothly as expected. Hey, regular listeners to David Waldman expect a little hubbub in the background, as much as they expect Greg Dworkin’s thrice weekly informative cross-talk and polls. No one will be disappointed.
Donald Trump’s new tone is still flat. Only it’s the same old tune, and there’s no encore. Well, Donald wouldn’t mind another duet with Ghislaine Maxwell. (They are kind of soul mates, you know.) But Trump can tell you, COVID-19 is death for ratings, and there is much excitement nobody has yet contemplated that needs to be very strongly addressed in the next two weeks. For instance, federal troops have to be called to end the scourge of uppityness flaring up in Detroit and Chicago, and Ukraine. However, moms know best. And, no one in any town is going to let them touch their mom!
Coronavirus doesn’t care. People have assessed the risk and know to mask it or casket. Winn-Dixie will no longer cater to the stupid customer. Three quarters of voters know the way to go is not the way they are going and plan to do something about it in November (or sooner). Even undecided voters have kind of decided.
Republicans are in disharmony… disarrangement if you will. Kansas Republicans’ hearts just aren’t in it, leaving Democrats to raise money for jerk, grifter, Republican Kris Kobach. In turn, Republicans put time, money and John Kasich to work for Joe Biden. It’s a crazy world.
The two rich old white loons that pointed guns at protesters now have felony charges, and plenty of rich old white loon fans. There is one less misogynistic racist psychopath on earth. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez discovered a few things about Ted Yoho’s mental stability.
Real estate salesman Donald Trump hoped to get back on top of the big board with the help of the American ambassador to Britain, but fell a bit short. Republican Steve Watkins can show you three felony charges that prove the existence of voter fraud.
Tue, 21 July 2020
David Waldman is out, but not out of stories to share! David couldn’t bear to leave us empty-eared, so he burned the afternoon oil at KITM World Headquarters to produce a special pre-recorded show for today!
Do you reside in a city with a federal building or property, maybe a post office? Do you disagree with Donald Trump’s handling of… anything? Are you insufficiently loyal? Then, you might be excited to hear that Ken Cuccinelli has a van with your name on it. Actually, the van has no name on it, and the guys climbing out will be masked with no identification, all adding to the excitement for everyone. Even if you are the shy, retiring type, Q-shirt volunteers will have their ears to the ground in every neighborhood, trained to root out baby cannibals like you and me. The whole operation isn’t quite up to Russian standards as yet, but that ambition is certainly present here, today.
Democratic leaders are asking the FBI for an urgent briefing on members of Congress being targeted by a foreign operation, employing known tool Ron Johnson.
Before you are disappeared, you might want to first consider whether or not you want to send your child into one of the largest unregulated experiments ever conducted. If you are rich... well, there’s a lot of things you don’t have to consider, because if public schools aren’t private enough for you, and neither are private schools, there’ll always be your money to fix things. If you are medium-rich, you still have online learning, sort of. If your child is not white, that might lead to jail, however.
Ritchie Torres is not white. In fact, he is expected to be the first openly gay Afro-Latino man in Congress. Congress is literally not ready for someone both Black and Latinx, as Torres can’t join both the Black and Hispanic caucuses.
You knew that Ailes and O'Reilly weren’t the end of it over at Fox News. Maybe, soon, the rape and sexual violence there will taper off, now that there’s a lawsuit on Ed Henry for rape and the current top talent on harassment. With those guys gone, it will cut in half the security demands for the Republican convention.
Mon, 20 July 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin, disquisition and persiflage, weather and traffic on the 10s:
Then, Fox News grandpa wandered into Fox News. What was he thinking? Donald Trump couldn’t walk out of Fox News when he had something to prove. Fox News couldn’t throw softball questions at Trump when they had something to prove. But—had Donald chose this moment to announce his new VP choice, none of Trump’s little gaffes would be a concern today.
Meanwhile, unmarked cars, with unidentified abductors, kidnap people to unidentified locations. They warn witnesses that if they follow, they will be shot. In the United States of America. Trump is attempting in Portland what he plans for all of us, to motivate us all to switch from paint cans and water bottles over to molotov cocktails and IEDs. Some day, they’ll erect statues to the real heros.
The COVID-19 pandemic is here. BORING! Donald Trump searches for fun elsewhere. He’d rather not talk about it, and would prefer the CDC stayed quiet as well. Others can’t leave the subject, or their hospital beds for that matter. Older children spread coronavirus as well as adults, and work longer hours. Teachers will need to wear masks, sheilds, caps, and should update their wills.
Science marches on. Oxford and AstraZeneca might have a vaccine that increases antibodies and immunity. The Lancet describes phase 1 & 2 trials of vaccines that are both safe and effective—the two things you’d want in a vaccine! Almost too good to be completely true, a scientist has developed a paint that kills coronavirus on contact, wiping out the virus for months... like Raid for COVID… or maybe it’s like Teflon, and the viruses just slide off?
People on the front lines are creating new solutions every day, such as this paramedic’s innovative way to communicate with hard of hearing patients while wearing a face mask.
Former DOJ attorney John Yoo resurfaces, disappointing those who hoped he was a bit more absorbent than buoyant. Yoo says Trump has gone too far… No wait, John has a book coming out, and Trump’s the Good Guy, therefore the Supreme Court are the Baddies. Then there’s Allen West! Say no more.
The good news is Joe Biden, and there’s nothing Donald Trump can do about it. The election is closer than you think, although everybody on Earth wouldn’t mind it a little sooner. Including John Kasich!
Fri, 17 July 2020
What can David Waldman tell you that you don’t know already? Let’s find out!
Government Secret Police kidnap citizens in Portland, Oregon, thus hindering the regular police activity of indiscriminate brutality… or probably enhancing it. In fact, there are so many boogaloo army wannabes flooding the area, that “graffiti vandals” had to be upgraded to “antifa soldiers” just to meet the demand.
Then there’s COVID-19... or not, as it is becoming illegal to know such things anymore. Gimmetarian game show host Chuck Woolery found out the hard way… which is the only way he’d ever learn. Florida’s emergency operations center dies from COVID. Governor Brian Kemp wrests Georgian’s life jackets away and throws victims overboard. Almost 40% of Americans are stupid enough to trust Donald Trump on the pandemic.
It’s no mystery—COVID-19 is not the flu, and kids are catching it. A second strain might be more infectious, but that might not matter. Russians are in such a hurry for a vaccine, they aren’t waiting for Donald trump to slip them a copy.
Justin Amash was so sick of Republicans, that quitting the party wasn’t enough for him. How many felonies does Kansas Representative Steve Watkins have to commit before people will see the threat of voter fraud?
Thu, 16 July 2020
It’s Thursday on KITM, and David Waldman welcomed Greg Dworkin for the third time this week, only to discover in a shocking twist that Greg was always cake.
“Executive underreach” is not the term for what Mike Pence does in Trump staff meetings… it actually describes how demagogic populists like Donald Trump weaken the countries they occupy, in order to strengthen their hold over them. That’s why Trump won’t help even Gop governors—because no one is on Team Trump other than Donald Trump. Congresswoman Elissa Slotkin discovered that Donald Trump is the enemy of democracy, and believes she might have been the first to notice. (She is not.) In fact, Donald has been giving Vladimir Putin the ol’ executive underreach for quite some time now, by pushing the CIA to pass intelligence to Russia that could be used to assassinate Chechen dissidents in Europe, while taking no action as Russia armed the Taliban and trained jihadis in Syria.
Oklahoma Governor Kevin Stitt thought he was King Stitt, trolling Libs without a mask or social distancing, but he was a just another stupid Stitt at Trump’s Tulsa rally, and a lazy Stitt at that, who would rather pull a trigger than put effort and responsibility into protecting his family. A few more rallies and there should be no more Stitts to give.
America knows what to do about coronavirus, but is failing to do it. Hospitals in Texas, Arizona and Florida are filling up to capacity. Almost one-third of Florida children have tested positive for the coronavirus. Even California has let infections slip upward. The White House plans to kill the messenger, which may or may not really work, but it should give some lunatics a foothold.
Have you noticed that Donald Trump doesn’t spread out the electoral map for everyone to gaze upon, anymore? In fact, Trump’s setting records for bad news polling in just about every category. Republicans are even embarrassed to be Republicans anymore. Joe Biden’s polls have passed 50% as Joe opens up an 11 point national lead, 14 points with seniors! But you know what? It would be so much like Trump to just win anyhow, just to troll everybody… So, keep up the effort, and find ways to add to the lead. Don’t pretend you’re 10 points down, run like you are in the final sprint for a win.
Wed, 15 July 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin hope you have had the balmiest of St. Swithun’s Days today.
You know that nightmare where you’re back at school, but you’re only wearing underwear and you’re about to transmit a debilitating disease to your mom? Same! Texas teachers are living the nightmare, writing out their wills before the fall. Voters do not support forcing schools to open. Voters do not support Gop Governors handling of COVID-19. Voters do not support Gop Senators handling of COVID-19. Voters do not support Donald Trump’s handling of anything.
Israelis have already reopened their schools and have a lot to teach us about how we should not be reopening our schools.
COVID-19 deaths are jumping up in those states that you might have guessed would be especially susceptible, even if you made your guess a hundred years ago or so. Decedents of the Confederate states still hiding out in Brazil like antebellum cosplay, coronavirus infections, and no-mask freedoms about as much as their red state cousins.
Those who have worked at the CDC assure us that no president has ever politicized science the way Trump has. The CDC hasn’t seen nothing yet, and if Trump gets his way, never will. If you can think of a way Donald Trump could care less, drop him a note, he might be interested in that. Otherwise, he is laser-focused on two objectives: watching the world burn, and burning the world, and he isn’t about to leave until he is finished. Donald Trump is finished, by the way. The nickname Donald can call Smiling, Uncle, Cup o’ Joe Biden is “Winning”.
Coronavirus might be transmitted to you in the air, 2 days after an infected person was in the area. Scientists aren’t sure if it can open doors or use a weapon, yet. One thing is certain, Kanye West can’t save us now.
Tue, 14 July 2020
The Trump “administration” has left the schools, like everybody else, twisting in the wind, and just winging it with their plans for the fall. Will they be defunded? Or will they get even more funding? Or are they just offering “more funding” so they can take that funding away and call it defunding? Why bother finding out? Let’s just have chaos and burn all our money!
Of course, we could all go back to what we were doing if there was a vaccine. But what if there was a vaccine, but no little glass bottles to put them in? Or what if there was a vaccine and lots of little bottles, but no syringes to inject them with? Don’t sweat it! Trump’s giving the contract to make hundreds of millions of syringes to two companies who don’t make syringes, or have never made anywhere near so many. (Oh, and we still don’t know if there really is immunity to be had, or how long it lasts.)
Trump and paperwork, man! Judge Amy Berman Jackson heard the news about Stone’s commutation of sentence, but she demanded to see the paper. It might (maybe) just do the trick, but of course, it was a little hinky.
Did you lose your job during the COVID-19 pandemic? Ivanka Trump says you should find a new one. Why didn’t we think of that?
Trump sentences himself to 10 years in prison. (Ten bucks says he screws up his own pardon.)
Joan McCarter dropped by to assure us that all is pretty much as expected. That is, the enhanced Unemployment Insurance program barely keeping people afloat (if that) during the pandemic is set to expire in just 11 days. And Congress isn’t coming back for another five. Meanwhile, that other program meant to keep people afloat isn’t doing the trick, either.
A lot of us are having difficulty keeping ourselves occupied during our social distancing. But not Portland, OR! They’re fully occupied. And soon, hospitals around the country can look forward to the same!
Mon, 13 July 2020
Did you hear the latest on KITM today? You didn’t? Well, no one did, because the live feed didn’t make it on the air today. Not to worry, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin record all of this stuff, and are happy to share!
Donald Trump told you that the 15 coronavirus cases in the US would be down to zero, and so far he’s been absolutely correct. On Sunday, Florida alone reported 15,300 new cases in one day. There will be plenty more cases and more denials to come. There will never be a second wave if this one doesn’t go away. Some are catching COVID-19 for a second time already. Some will catch it more times than that. Some only needed to catch it one time.
Oh wait, there is a welcome wave carving through the sunbelt… a huge blue wave! It’s sweeping through individual states and across the big beautiful electoral college map. People have preferred to identify as “non-racist”, “non-lunatic”, and “non-moronic” lately. In fact, that Washington football team also decided to not identify “that way” anymore, after 87 years, following a similar moral epiphany.
Fri, 10 July 2020
There might be some that think we’re getting over the COVID-19 pandemic. Those people don’t live in the sunbelt… or if they do, they may not for long. Arizona Is #1! (Bahrain Is #4) But don’t count out South Carolina, or Mississippi, or Georgia, or Texas, or Florida, all contending for Hell on Earth status this weekend. David Waldman crunches the numbers into fine... bleak, depressing… granules.
68% have shown coronavirus antibodies in a Queens clinic. Data like that could have been useful, had Sweden recorded it at their schools. Right now, we can only guess the number of children and teachers we would need to kill, before we can get back to normal. A Christian summer camp pre-infected 82 of their kids before their start of school.
A new "unknown pneumonia" that is potentially deadlier than the novel coronavirus has reportedly killed more than 1,700 people this year in the Central Asian country of Kazakhstan. Then there’s the plague.
In non-pandemic news:
Some in Portsmouth, N.H., feared that if they held a Trump rally, Donald Trump might show up at it. Whoop! It was already canceled do to “weather concerns”… (They were concerned “weather” people would actually attend, heh.)
Justice keeps prevailing. Michael Flynn, spy, hasn’t quite escaped yet. Deutsche Bank has been fined $150 million when departed billionaire Jeffrey Epstein inspired New York courts to follow the money. Donald Trump has lost a couple of times in the Supreme Court on revealing his taxes, but that isn’t the game he’s playing. Trump tried to take out future Colonel Alexander Vindman, but failed. Oklahoma hoped to steal land from Native Americans, but could not.
Thu, 9 July 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin present another KITM Back-to-School special:
Elementary schools, renown for their history of ringworm and lice infection mitigation, will be expected to tackle COVID-19 on about the same budget. Donald Trump loves schools like a father loves a son—happy to see them die if they doesn’t follow his orders, and if Trump has told you .01 times, he’s told you a million times, he’s just not up to this.
Republicans, immune to shame, will not be explaining how your kids will stay healthy this school year. The American Academy of Pediatrics informs us that it’s easy, once we first eliminate coronavirus. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention guidelines are TLDR! for Donald, and so the CDC intends to remove the hard stuff and add some compliments. Dr. Anthony Fauci shows us that Trump doesn’t have to fire people he can ignore. Dr. Trump also reminds us that while testing is a known cause of COVID-19, fake testing will allow hydroxychloroquine to cure COVID-19. Scientists have seen evidence of brain damage and hallucinations with even mild Covid-19 Coronavirus infection, but can’t really explain how Trump has displayed symptoms for so long.
Schools in non-Trump countries have been more successful.
New Jersey will require people to wear masks outdoors. Mississippi legislators have discovered just how democratic pandemics can be. The Houston convention center canceled the Republican Party of Texas' in-person convention, giving attendees only days to talk their kids into turning on their computers.
Jared Kushner thought he could kick back a few months on replenishing masks and PPE, but it turns out that this son-in-law gig was a lot tougher and longer than he anticipated. Most of the White House nepotism hires feel Jared’s pain. DC staffing is so inbred because conservatives simply have no chance of finding anyone to mate with.
Never take for granted some rural voters hatred of Donald Trump.
Wed, 8 July 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin go there today! (Following correct safety protocols, of course.)
Attention, students, parents and teachers wishing to open schools safely, Donald Trump hears you. All except for the “safely” part. Trump only listens to statements phrased in the form of a compliment. And, well, safety reminds Donald of condoms, and you know how he feels about that.
For those wondering why so many cases and so few deaths - give it a minute, the hospitals have just turned down their sheets. Meanwhile, churches are hellholes. Prisons are too, for both the thin blue line, and the ICE blue lines. Get out and protest though, you’ll do fine. Montana alerts manly men to their many manly mask options.
As for the election, Donald Trump does have a few more enthusiastic supporters... for some reason, but he also has many more enthusiastic haters, for obvious reasons. Actually, every shred of evidence points to Trump having his ass kicked. Joe Biden is looking pretty electable lately. The more Trump loses, the more desperate he will become, however. Who knows what crazy scheme he will try next? We do know what Republicans will attempt with any Democratic Vice Presidential candidate, because that is what has worked so well for them so many times before.
On their last date, back in March, Donald Trump gave the country of Brazil a super-nasty case of the Rona. The one positive thing to come out of it all was fellow lunatic autocrat Jair Bolsonaro’s coronavirus test results. Don’t worry, Donald’s hooked him up with the good stuff.
Fireworks will blow your head off, but they will never lie to you. Guns... you just can’t trust. Oh, they’ll tell you they’ll protect you, through thick and thin… even if you happen to be the dumbest son of a bitch in a Florida Costco, they’ll still stick by you. Then, one day (the one moment your buddy lines up with the barrel) Bang—the gun and your buddy aren’t your friend anymore. A guy shooting a gopher bagged a golfer. So close! And, a woman’s gun shot her right in the waterpark! Ow!
Tue, 7 July 2020
David Waldman welcomes Tuesday, and Joan McCarter and you and me to KITM:
One day, we won’t have to learn how to pronounce Ayn Rand correctly. Unfortunately, today is not that day. The Ayn Rand Institute, along with the Grover Norquist Group, are paid to be opponents of federal spending, and of course showed up right at the front of the Paycheck Protection Program line.
Florida has announced that it will dispatch public K-12 schools into the maw of coronavirus by August. Donald Trump will describe his easy, one-step method tonight. But you know teachers—always asking questions! About the safety and well-being of their students, their families, themselves, who is responsible, where the materials and money are coming from, etc. Mitch McConnell tells them not to worry, no one important will get in trouble.
Therefore, unless Melania has something to add, the discussion should be short. After all, COVID-19, like a miracle, has almost disappeared. At least the testing has... which is almost as good? In fact, medical PPE has already vanished, again. This should give Donald more time to address the Black problem. About the time Donald Trump learned to talk, he’s been asking why Black people haven’t been more thankful, but still hasn’t received a satisfactory answer. Maybe soon!
People of color are getting much more than their fair share of coronavirus. Dozens of pistachio plant workers are Infected with COVID-19. It would be a lot more, but the others have been fired. A bipartisan handful of lawmakers are pushing a rescue package apart from the Paycheck Protection Program, reconfigured to specifically aid Black-owned businesses. Banks are tired of giving out COVID-19 loans, and would prefer Congress offer more focused direct grants.
Meanwhile, 40 Trump-connected lobbyists, including five former administration officials, are splitting $10 billion in coronavirus aid from the federal government.
Mon, 6 July 2020
Today, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin bring us complex answers to complex questions. That is, after all why we tune in to them for a couple of hours. (Actually, 1:58:45.)
Donald Trump is pretty simple. He’s a racist, he’s going to appeal to racists. You would think that there would not be enough racists to make that work. You would hope so. Fear and resentment has been a solid strategy for Trump, but probably not this time... Probably not. That is partly because coronavirus is skyrocketing right where Trump’s supporters live, which is no coincidence. The pandemic is hitting Donald right in his big beautiful electoral map. COVID-19 has chased the Republicans from Charlotte to Jacksonville to rout them out again.
We don’t have all of the dumb people in the world, it just seems that way. Understanding why COVID cases increase as deaths are decrease is as simple as understanding Simpson’s Paradox, regression to the mean, and conversely, regression to the tail. It also helps to understand the difference between equality and equity in contact tracing protocols. Listen, just follow the expert advice, whenever you can find some.
Fri, 3 July 2020
David Waldman wishes you a KITM Happy 3rd of July! Think you’re patriotic? Donald Trump is already out there celebrating, his orange hide gently flowing in the breeze like an American flag. Soon, he’ll be off to Mount Rushmore, to celebrate the liberation of the surrounding pine forests, joined by thousands of tightly packed free-mouth-breathing patriots. After all, isn’t it Jefferson who required the tree of liberty to be refreshed at times by the blood of our friends and neighbors? Herman Cain sends his regrets, as he will not be able to attend this year. The world realizes we are kind of dumb, and is pretty certain they don’t want to catch it. We might be stupid, but we’re well fed.
A professional football team has been asked to change their stupid name ever since the moment they came up with their stupid name. This time, it’s FedEx asking, and they’re not asking. Cleveland, Ohio came up with the perfect solution in 1889… but then went with their stupid name.
If it is possible to find a more cynical, racist, misogynistic, sociopathic sneering troll than Donald Trump, Republicans will run him for President in 2024. And Trump will beg him, tears running down his eyes, choking like a dog, to save him in 2020.
The White House hired an Islamophobic conspiracy theorist for a Defense Department job, because those are the kind of people that they prefer. Clint Lorance was convicted of murder in 3 hours, 14 of his own men testified against him, and Donald Trump pardoned him, because Clint is the kind of guy he likes. Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman is not Donald’s kind of guy, so Senator Tammy Duckworth is standing up for him.
A New York Court blocked Donald Trump’s niece from publishing her “tell-all” book. Ah, but now a New York appellate judge now says she can. Whatever. It’s already a best seller. That’s Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Created the World’s Most Dangerous Man, by Mary L. Trump Ph.D.
Thu, 2 July 2020
Things. They keep happening. And so, by necessity, does KITM. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin tell us about them:
Our Ventilator King this morning announced that the coronavirus (he calls it “Pocahontas” or something) is finally under control, or at least it would be if we had listened to him and wore a mask. We are at the largest 1-day total since the start of the pandemic. That is a 50% increase over last month. Following this surge in infections, is a surge in illness, followed by the inevitable surge in bad press for the Trump administration. It will take a lot of white power to dig Trump out of this hole!
We are almost back up to the unemployment level of the Great Recession. This, in fact, might be the peak. You can’t go to work if you can’t send your kids to school, and that really doesn’t seem likely.
If you aren’t panicking, you weren’t in New York City in April. One look at roadkill in the spring will tell you if college students would let a little COVID-19 interfere with their party plans.
Trump’s Russian bounty HOAX! is becoming more solid by the minute. Maybe we can fit a WITCH HUNT! in before November. Trump and Putin joined to make Afghanistan great again. The Taliban has always been open to making a ruble, or a buck, which makes them Donald’s kind of guys.
Donald Trump thinks property is something you bribe for. His administration just lent $700 million to a trucking company that was sued for ripping off taxpayers. They of course kicked him back a little.
Wed, 1 July 2020
Well, there’s the COVID-19 pandemic disaster, and the Russian bounty treason. Which HOAX! would you like to be addressed first? Republicans who did not want to look weak by wearing masks and then put them on months later, still look weak. The ones still refusing look like idiots. Therefore, many Republicans you will never see again, and the ones that have been left behind are looking more like crazy idiots. Crazy idiots do happen to be to be Donald Trump’s enthusiastic core supporters, but pandering to just them seems to be a lost cause. The public is not in the mood to play with Donald anymore.
Condoms and face masks will never get in the way of horny morons. Surging caseload spikes demand for testing, which could crash the supply train. Who needs a nasal swab though, when there’s so many angles to attack the situation?
Have a hard time choosing between Democracy and Autocracy? David suggests abolishing the legislative filibuster. You could also pack the courts while you’re at it. Joe Biden can learn a few things from Jimmy Carter. Who’s Joe Biden?
Tue, 30 June 2020
Almost out of June! David Waldman closes out the month with guest Joan McCarter:
Comedy, movie, television, print and social media icon, and mensch Carl Reiner passes away at almost 100, or maybe 2000 years old. It’s hard to tell with someone that worked and lived as if every day was his last.
People have picked on Donald Trump this whole month. For instance, Donald found this great video of people in Florida on golf carts who were really pro-him. Sure, they shouted “White Power” a few times, but Donald didn’t really see that as the important part, and shared it on Twitter. Anyhow, Donald was golfing, and he and his entourage of around 100 sat their phones down somewhere back in the clubhouse, so it took a few hours to eventually delete the tweet.
Now Trump is being accused of treason, again, this time for looking the other way while Americans are killed on behalf of our enemies, which is just like Benghazi, except real. Trump received a briefing, or two or three, but did anyone try to get his attention, snap their fingers in his face, shake him a little maybe? Probably not. Donald spent his time after the briefings selling Russia to the G7.
You’d think that Donald Trump spent the last four years just golfing and sucking up to Vladimir Putin, but you’d be wrong. Donald Trump sucked up to all the world’s brutal dictators, and verbally abused our allies (with special emphasis on women heads of state) while bad-mouthing his predecessors.
Then there’s the deadly pandemic. The worst is yet to come, and the CDC surrenders. Whose fault is this? Well, it is kind of a lot of people’s fault, but some people are definitely dumber than others, and Fox News made them that way. The more we know, the more we find that we don’t know. Stay away from restaurants, and movie theaters, and from the people who tell you “it’s just like the flu”. (unless it is the flu)
No one is surprised by Brett Kavanaugh’s behavior, except maybe Susan Collins. It would have been nice however, if Bob Woodward’s story showing Kavanaugh lied in his confirmation hearings wasn’t suppressed by the Washington Post at the time. In some universe, if Brett were to be forced out, maybe Trump would nominate someone even worse. John Roberts shows himself as being way too much the lib for Trump.
Mon, 29 June 2020
BREAKING: Skype! At least, the KITM Skype has broken. That was the big news this morning, at least until David Waldman was able to dig his Netscape CD out of the bottom of the pencil drawer and bring Greg Dworkin back on line.
But that’s not all. There’s still that COVID-19 pandemic to talk about, as it looks as if some of us out there are screwing all of us. A lot of people knew this would happen, and know what to do to fix things. Unfortunately, many don’t know, don’t care, and are putting their efforts into public relations over public health and safety. We can therefore expect to continue to reap in July what we’ve sowed today.
Tens of thousands of newly dead and dying Americans will probably harm Donald Trump’s reputation of competent leadership leading into the election, which will concern fellow Republicans and even might bring out a few skeptics. Donald Trump himself knows he’s losing, and will tell you that right upfront.
Of course, the election’s still out there, and so much could change in that time. For instance, proof that Donald Trump arranged for the murder of US troops at the hands of Russians has emerged. Trump can pick from three answers to this scandal: He’s a traitor, he’s an imbecile, or he’s really not the president. Why not all of the above? Anyway, Vlad owes him big time.
Facebook has converted bigotry and fear into shares, likes, and billions of dollars for Mark Zuckerberg. Donald Trump has been a VIP customer since 2015. Recently, however, hate has become less of a profit center for major corporations.
Slimeballs continue to slide into Facebook and into government, and in North Carolina that’s where they run into our friends at The Long Leaf Pine Slate. We can make things change for the better, fast, if we try—look at Mississippi!
Fri, 26 June 2020
It was a Friday.
What’s more, Scott Anderson was busy.
So not only was today’s show the usual race against time to cram in as much as possible, but I got stuck writing it up at exactly the time I wanted to hide under the desk, instead.
The pandemic is worse than ever, of course. Possibly even worse than we know. So naturally, now’s exactly the right time to double down on destroying everyone’s access to insurance. And let’s hope that while the DOJ is busy on that, they don’t lose sight of their mission to free anyone who’s covered for Trump’s criminality!
But really, what’s the point of health care in a pandemic, anyway? Right? All we have to do is not follow any of the instructions from experts, but tell ourselves we tried. And you certainly don’t have to listen if you think you’re the “president.” (Or do you?)
Mississippi has long faced pressure to change its racist flag. Can a country music star make them do it? Or will she get Dixie Chick-ed? Well, what about football? That might work. Hope it works here, anyway.
Thu, 25 June 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin discuss 6 hours of stuff in a little under 2 hours today:
Democrats are opening up a lead in Florida mail-by-vote registration. Mail-in ballots are sure, but slow. Jamaal Bowman declared victory over Eliot Engel in New York’s 16th Congressional District primary, but Engel’s defeat will officially loom until all ballots are counted. Brad Sherman is next in line for the Foreign Affairs chairmanship, but then there’s Gregory Meeks. David tells us to follow the money.
When you hear the words “coronavirus” and “rally” who do you think of? So does everyone else!
Joe Biden is polling way ahead of Donald Trump not just in outlier polls, with big jumps in swing states. But why? It turns out that even Evangelicals prefer a mensch. Republicans are finding it difficult to campaign against Biden, especially as Joe is neither a woman nor Black. Even more problematic for the Gop is that more and more White people like Joe. Former presidential candidate and Ted Cruz running mate Carly Fiorina is voting Joe, even.
Donald Trump still has a lock on the screwball vote. Beware, if you are a 5G deep state mask-wearing, devil-worshiping lung-insulter you might be liable to citizen’s arrest. Dudes don’t wear masks, unless they’re like, secure in their manhood, man. How secure is Sean Hannity, you think?
We continue to head towards disaster. The Coronavirus is winning because of loons, Fox News loons and the Loon in Chief. It’s the parties, stupid. Mike Pence leads Gop Senators in a happy optimistic whistle past the COVID-19 graveyard. The Treasury department sent out $1 billion in stimulus checks to dead people, but it probably didn’t work.
Flattening the curve did not cure the disease. We have learned so much and yet not enough. The White House puts Dr. Fauci into a timeout box. Public health officials that know what’s good for them are getting out. Dozens of Trump’s secret service have been taken out.
Vladimir Putin is even worse, if that matters.
A Columbus statue in Philadelphia had to removed because of the roving violent pro-statue gangs. Fairfax, Virginia finally changed the name of Robert E. Lee High School, following Robert E. Lee High School in Houston, Texas, now Margaret Long Wisdom High School, and Robert E. Lee High School in San Antonio, Texas… which you can just call “LEE”. It’s not too late for Montgomery, Alabama’s Robert E. Lee High School to do the right thing.
There sure are a lot of Robert E. Lee High Schools.
Speaking of civil war, the U.S. Military contains sleeper cells set to turn their guns on fellow soldiers when the time is right. You’d think that would be a concern.
Wed, 24 June 2020
Is it possible that more Americans are beginning to understand Black LIves Matter and other messages, and that a less bigoted America are finding less advantage in a Trump presidency? Perhaps, overall, we are becoming less schmucks, so now we better understand the value of a mensch. Speaking of, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin offer us a fine new KITM, tachlis:
Donald Trump is at the “running away bawling insults” stage of surrendering to Covid-19. Death rates are still rising, more young people are becoming infected, and they are due to have an awful time. 138,000 years of life lost, and rising. The nation is on its knees.
Texas Governor Greg Abbott would definitely prefer droves of people weren’t dying in his state, but what can he do? 45 ICUs full in Florida, but who’s counting? Rebekah Jones, Florida Covid-19 data scientist in exile, is still keeping track, and still knows people on the inside telling her they are being forced to cook the books. Coronavirus and more await the RNC conventioneers coming to Jacksonville.
Trump does have his plate full at the moment.
Right now, Joe Biden is very likely to beat Donald Trump. Unfortunately right now, it’s not the election… Common wisdom is that these things will narrow, but not if Donald Trump has anything to say about it. Since his inauguration, Trump has given his all to deliver a Biden landslide, and he shows no sign of giving up. Never Trumpers might be trouble in 2024, but they are never Trump now.
Attention statue topplers: Always read the accompanying historical plaque before breaking the seal. There are many ways for protesters to shoot themselves in the foot, but one chose the regular way. And, there are Black armed protesters are showing up in Oklahoma.
Meanwhile, politics have somehow crept into jurisprudence. Roger Stone prosecutor Aaron Zelinsky believes William Barr might have something to do with it, as does the New York City Bar Association. Spy Michael Flynn gets sprung. China pays for access to Trump. Imaad Zuberi bought access, and might get in trouble. Louie Gohmerts. All good, all good...
Tue, 23 June 2020
No one wants Tuesday, so David Waldman is regifting it to us:
The KITM Official Style Guide is imprecise on this point, but I believe the proper usage is that Brad Parscale really “shit” the bed last Saturday night leading into the Tulsa MAGA rally. No time to change the sheets before Arizona. And, William Barr has “shitted” many beds as attorney general, but none like he that bed he “shat” firing Geoffrey Berman. It’ll take a while for the DOJ to air out.
Republican Martha McSally proposes that big government pay people not to work, while spreading disease.
An Oregon Church opened in accordance Donald Trump’s demands that states allow churches to open, and now have over 90% of the coronavirus cases in their county. They wouldn’t have any cases if Trump had stopped testing earlier, only a couple dozen random deaths. The world's top-ranked men's tennis player, Novak Djokovic, and his wife took tests and look what happened to them.
Official fall guy Mike Pence almost fell off Air Force Two. The scene of a confrontation between protesters and police is the last place that the White House wants reporters. Are you looking to recreationally beat people, but really aren’t a police officer? it’s now easier than ever! Just slip on some body armor and slide into a riot line.
Mon, 22 June 2020
Is Monday a good day for schadenfreude delivery? Because, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin have backed up a big truck of it to unload this morning.
Donald Trump’s 2020 campaign pivoted into a steeper dive on Saturday. 1 out of every 8 minutes of Trump’s speech were devoted him to bailing himself out from his last appearance. Not a lot of people showed up, but it is unfair to compare the previous acts shaming him on attendance, as they have the unfair advantage of talent.
TikTok Teens and K-Pop Stans bullseyed Brad Parscale’s Death Star, as racist, lying pieces of which continue to rain down today. Great shot kids! Right out of Saul Alinsky’s rebel alliance handbook! Chances are less than one in a million that Ivanka and Jared will have it back in orbit around Arizona, next stop for Trump’s Covidtour. Trump’s plan now is to take COVID-19 head on, by reducing America’s tolerance to preventable deaths. Slowing testing was only the first step, eliminating testing would be the final solution. Plenty of Americans are ready to chip in and help.
The kids owned Parscale this time, but anyone who loads the Trump 2020 app will be owned forever.
A potential night of victories coming this Tuesday in separate primaries in Kentucky and New York may not include longtime congressman, House Foreign Relations Chairman, Eliot Engel, who is trying to avoid an AOC-style upset. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is also trying to avoid an AOC-style upset.
William Barr failed in another coup attempt on democracy, this time over the Southern District of New York. Bill says all he wanted to do was find a lackey a job, and now everyone is angry with him, again. Jerry Nadler is just tired of all the hate.
Fri, 19 June 2020
Thanks to Donald Trump, and David Waldman, we’ve learned so much this year... from epidemiology to constitutional law! And, did you know that Black lives matter? Many were not aware of that until Donald pointed it out. In fact, race relations should be the main topic of Prof. Trump’s lecture series, appropriately kicking off in Tulsa, OK, tomorrow.
Father’s Day is Sunday. Fatherhood brings the potential joy of displaying your son to win an argument or as a political prop. For those wondering, Matt Gaetz now publically has a son, Nestor. Previously introduced as a student, Nestor was also known as a helper for Gaetz’ office administration, yard care, cabana maintenance etc., but now, Nestor is totally Matt’s son in every conceivable way, except perhaps legally, and it sure is a heartwarming story.
Trump’s Bible photo op split evangelicals into “the smart ones” and “the saps” camps. Donald prefers saps, and tweeting videos with them, but Twitter is finally beginning to flag those tweets. Trump might be every inch the stupid ignorant old white guy he seems, but his staff couldn't be more Nazi if they were flash frozen in ‘44. In New York just last week, police found found weapons, fireworks, ammunition and a tactical manual on some Boogaloo bois, but you just know you would find as much and maybe more in some police lockers. And, if Black people ever do win, Jail is waiting for them. What kind of society values property over Black lives?
Thu, 18 June 2020
David Waldman brings Greg Dworkin on to today’s KITM to give us what for… and why, how and where:
John Bolton betrayed his country. Lots! And, this time it was for a book deal. Either the book deal, or that he came too late to it. If Bolton had testified earlier wonderful things could have happened, but probably wouldn’t have, because as always a Republican’s priority is to themselves, and thus to Donald Trump. We already knew Trump was treasonous, just now we’re haggling on how much.
Joe Biden is making his first TV ad buy of the general election, continuing his “Soul of America” message, a message growing more important every day. The Trump campaign counterpoint is to make a few Nazi references and call it a day.
Perhaps this is enough. After all, Gop officials are talking a Trump landslide. So, are the polls skewed again? They’d have to be pretty skewed to bury Biden’s 8 point national lead, including up to double-digit leads in battleground states. The electoral map hasn’t changed that much.
Can Donald Trump lie his way out of a pandemic rap? Sure! He already has. But can his lies stay ahead of the rise of infection and death? We should have an idea, in just a few weeks. So far, mask-wearing in public has saved hundreds of thousands.
Google, Facebook and Twitter have stringent terms of service rules, to make you happy. To make important people happy, they waive those rules.
When black women flipped a white school board, the State of Georgia arrested them and charged them with 120 separate felony counts of voter fraud.
Wed, 17 June 2020
Wednesday morning, and David Waldman and Greg Dworkin have a virtual kitchen table discussion about breakfast foods.
Aunt Jemima will be changing her name, which shouldn’t be much of a hardship, as she isn’t a real person. No matter, if she’s Aunt Jemima, Aunt J, Aunt Karen, or Sheila, it will remain difficult to shed 130 years of existence as a racist symbol, even though Quaker Oats just noticed today. After all, 3 out of 4 Taiwanese prefer "Black Person Toothpaste". Old habits do take a while to break.
Overall, proud racists have become slightly less proud these last few weeks. Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy was happy to wear an OAN shirt last week, and is less happy about it today. Then again, Boogaloo Bois have become less of a joke as their fantasies of murder and mayhem are becoming realized. White supremacist ideology has spread through police forces for years.
In election news, it’s definitely not 2016 and it probably won’t be in November, either. Greg wonders, what if copy/pasting conventional wisdom is just lazy punditry? Greg and David scrutinize the latest polls and note that Donald Trump trails Joe Biden by 16 points in Michigan, and if job approval were votes, Trump should be quitting today, if he were smart.
We remain in the first wave of the COVID-19 pandemic in America. The First Lady of Ukraine has been hospitalized. 260 workers have tested positive for COVID-19 at Orlando International Airport. Much more will be coming.
Plants stayed open to produce meat to feed Americans, and shipped 129,000 tons of it to China.
Tue, 16 June 2020
David Waldman saves the world one podcast at a time, and this day with Joan McCarter!
A million or so 100% racism and virus free MAGA ralliers head to Tulsa this weekend. Coronavirus is not the flu. The pandemic is not over. You might not ever fully recover if you catch COVID-19, in fact, you could be crippled for life. Commonly used steroid dexamethasone however, will help you not die. By the way, Hydroxychloroquine does not save, and could end, lives.
Tom Rice finds that sometimes wearing a mask and sometimes social distancing does not always prevent COVID-19. The DC National Guard finds their weaponry does not slow the virus. Chances are equal that they brought it to protesters as visa versa because the Guard did not screen themselves before deployment. By the way, The National Guard was not kicked out of their hotels.
West Virginia churches discover that piousness does not totally prevent illness.
The Supreme Court rules that no one can be fired for being gay or transgender. Franklin Graham is not happy. Susan Collins is not surprised. Donald Trump does not quite get it, but he has people that do, and they are still at war with LGBTQ+ people. But-for the grace of God…
Ever hear of Gop rising star Nick Freitas? Even he has a hard time remembering his name, forgetting to put it on the ballot for his reelection two years in a row. Republican Bob Good apparently also skipped his own mind.
And for some reason... The judge in Jeffrey Epstein grand jury case has ties to those with a stake in outcome. Republicans benefiting from the Paycheck Protection Program are opposed to requiring transparency. The group backing voting suppression is backed by dark money.
Mon, 15 June 2020
David Waldman welcomes Greg Dworkin to today’s KITM, and golly, do they have a lot to tell you:
The day after Juneteenth, millions will pack into historic Tulsa, Oklahoma’s BOK center to witness Donald Trump, cofounder with Abraham Lincoln of the Black Lives Matter movement, roll victoriously down his entrance ramp. Tulsa lays out the unwelcome mat.
Black lives matter. Change is sweeping the world. People are listening, finally. Why is this time different? Eight minutes, forty six seconds. George Floyd can’t be ignored. George Floyd can’t be spun. We can fix this. Even the “he/she’s no angel” talking point might be on it’s way out.
Reform, defund, or unbundle police, this has become a kitchen table conversation in America now. Half of America want funds redirected, and that number is growing, but before determining what to cut, first someone should look into what police really do.
COVID-19 is still killing people everywhere. The virus doesn’t care about your lockdown fatigue. State openings are backfiring, as we begin to feel the symptoms of too-early relaxing of social distancing. It is possible to open safely, if we want to. A moral, just and healthy society would be possible if we actually wanted one. Talking about racism must be a part of health care. By the way, COVID-19 is not the flu.
Things are looking good for Joe Biden. Very good. That could worry Republicans. It could worry Democrats too, because that’s how they roll. Independents are heading to Biden. Women are already there, and feeling better about Joe than Hillary.
Dr. Amy “Action” Acton is out… but returns as Dr. Amy “Back in Action” Acton! Sesame Street is certainly a lot friendlier than her home street. Dr. Nicole Quick stars in an unfortunate misogynistic sequel.
NYT’s star reporter David Barstow wins Pulitzers and makes money, but not friends writing on Donald Trump’s taxes. Who’s Mary Trump? We’re all going to find out a lot more about Donald’s least favorite niece with her new tell-all book coming out this August.
Fri, 12 June 2020
It's a Friday on which we throw it back to Thursday, so that we can claim it's a Throwback Thursday, during which we actually throw it back to a Wednesday show. Get it? Well, nobody does. Don't feel bad.
Suffice to say, we ran the June 12, 2019 show today, and it was this:
David Waldman presents the hump day KITM, the hump caused by the shear abundance of links, stories, and things to consider.
Today in malfeasance:
When Chaos and corruption go hand in hand, you know it is time to invest in gravel, bananas, or anything Mitch McConnell is investing in. 22 foreign governments shop Trump. Mexican officials go to Jared.
Greg Dworkin reports on the state of the 2020 race: Trump is losing and he knows it, but if you find out, heads will roll. Trump poll numbers are brutal, they are grim, and not likely to look better. The top 6 candidates beat him by at least 5 points. He loses age 65 & older by 17 points. Donald Trump is an unpopular president. The best hope for Republicans now is to switch the names of the parties.
Wall Street weighs all of this and sees a Trump win. Is everything good news for Donald? Abortion might not be the wedge issue Republicans hope, and is getting more attention than expected. Donald Trump would rather be golfing.
Thu, 11 June 2020
Standing atop the parapet along the highest ramparts of Fort Kagro, David Waldman calls reveille for the final KITM of this week. David will be absent this Friday to undergo a colonoscopy. Who knew Antifa membership eligibility standards were so stringent?
Greg Dworkin calls in with the latest. In his recent tweets, Donald Trump congratulated his crack SS troops for their successful blitzkrieg on the BLM while reminding us that those who need to preserve the Confederacy want to repeat it. That just means it will have to fall again, then. This is the worst PR campaign for the National Guard since they had Neil Young write their jingle music. Gassing peaceful demonstrators is never a good look, but it turns out that neither is a forced Bible photo op. So, how can Trump top this week? How about a white power rally on Juneteenth at the site of mass graves of an infamous race massacre?
Trump could just go back to the bunker and remain an impotent bystander, but no, the road calls to him. His advisers want him to quit driving into ditches, but why bother when his highway ends off a cliff? Donald can't change the subject to something he's competent in if he's incompetent in all things. Therefore, Trump demands an apology . The forecast is as sunny as Joe Biden's smile.
Meanwhile, Trump will pardon Michael Spy Flynn, as the judge knows a ridiculous ploy when he sees one, just as a mob prosecutor knows a mobster when he sees one, and anyone who has seen William Barr and Donald Trump knows gross abusers when they see them.
If you think a mask is uncomfortable, try a lung transplant.
Wed, 10 June 2020
David Waldman welcomes Greg Dworkin to KITM to tip some metaphorical statues, as it is pretty hot outside today.
Leopold? Leopold! Leopold’s statue is lit, dunked, and hanged in Belgium “Black Lives Matter” protests. In Boston, Christopher Columbus was decapitated, belatedly. His twin went to the bottom of a Virginia lake. George Henry Thomas, the Sledge of Nashville, Rock of Chickamauga, still stands tall, as well he should.
It’s about time. Technology and social media have finally spurred empathy and humanity around the world. Public opinion on race relations and police misconduct made a huge leap in a very good direction. Black Lives Matter more, Donald Trump matters less. Do you know what polite, civil discourse gets you? Not this!
Joe Biden is playing it safe, but playing it well. Nimble Joe Biden has been middle of the road, no matter where that road was, for decades, so it was dumb to try to paint him as a radical. That’s OK, Trump has many other dumb ideas to implement.
Donald Trump rebooted his presidency by relaying Russian conspiracies claiming a 75 year old man was on a suicide mission to make him look bad. This One Perfect Tweet could unify the entire country, which is why Republican Senators refuse to read it. Trump will further unite the world with his surprise retreat from Germany. Also, Donald’s been talking about Jacksonville... going to mess around... but without getting divorced from Charlotte.
Wear a mask. Sailors like them!
Tue, 9 June 2020
While not California, Idaho does have its faults... However, Joan McCarter would let nothing deter her from her virtual visit to KITM World Headquarters with David Waldman, and us, for Tuesday’s show:
Donald Trump whipped his MAGA mob into a lynch mob this morning by accusing Martin Gugino, a 75-year-old affordable housing advocate, human rights organizer and Catholic Worker Movement member hospitalized by police of an invented slander that only Trump’s degenerate stage of depravity, dementia and paranoia could conceive of. For Donald, this lie could hardly be as traumatizing as looking into a mirror.
So, do we defund or reform the police? Why not both! Congressional Democrats are hoping to get the ball rolling with the Justice in Policing Act of 2020. In Colorado, even Republican senators are backing their police accountability bill. Diplomats around the world are forced to try to explain why anyone should take the US seriously as a moral example.
Then there’s coronavirus. A New Jersey partier can prove how much he gets around. You can just ask Pennsylvania doctors. And yes, protesters know about the pandemic. That is one reason they are out there... and one of the better reasons, at that.
It now looks as if coronavirus spread after Trump’s half-assed “China ban” and long after the start of the Trump recession. Now, the Gop needs you to get back to work and/or die. Trump could have wiped himself with a day’s worth of swabs down in the bunker, but instead took the time to fly out to Maine to contaminate them in person.
Mon, 8 June 2020
It turns out that the revolution is being televised. You can also find it here on KITM, hosted by David Waldman and today’s special guest co-revolutionary, Greg Dworkin.
Around the world, statues topple. A global epiphany so inspirational that even Mitt Romney seems born-again. This weekend, newspaper editors across the nation jabbed their cigars toward their lead reporters, and demanded that they find out what this “Defund the police” is, and to have it on their desks by Monday morning. Black reporters have understood all too well what’s going on, and are fighting to report it.
The Floyd protests spread into white, small-town America, while Republicans give up on governance and decide to just shoot them all and let God sort out the socialists. A white guy shot a protester in Seattle and calmly walked into protective custody. Seattle police continue their attempts to dominate. Brevard county ❤️️’s rogue cops. Democrats propose reforming policing. Will Republicans reform themselves after Trump? Of course not, but what will they pull next?
Donald Trump’s horrific job performance is effecting his job approval numbers. After considering Trump’s sociopathic stupidity, many voters find themselves supporting Joe Biden’s candidacy. Women are wising up faster than men.
Meanwhile, coronavirus isn’t going anywhere, except into new hosts. Brazil keeps its death toll from rising by decree. In the US, shutdowns prevented 60 million coronavirus infections, but with less shut down there are more infections. Coronavirus also is spreading into rural areas, hitting large families hard. Florida has had more cases in the last 4 days than it ever had in any 4 day period.
Fri, 5 June 2020
David Waldman drops us off safely at another weekend, let’s all try to make it back here safe.
Donald Trump can’t even golf, the news is so beautiful. We’re in the money! Employment has dived to still-depression levels. Trump says he couldn’t have done it if it wasn’t for the guidance of George Floyd’s angel. Trump’s off to Maine, where the plan is to make the streets run red with domination.
ACORN rerouted a caravan of voter fraud busses out of Guatemala to Indiana, loading 250 Antifa super-soldiers to each bus for a raid on Chicago, but quick-thinking Fox-watching police made them disappear into thin air. Oh wait! They’ve been sighted heading into Idaho! They’re back in Indiana! 6,000 — One terrorist for each of the population of the town of Notre Dame! Oh no, while we were distracted, a
James O’Keefe infiltrated the past and discovered antifa headquarters in the heart of Portlandia.
Back in the real world, actual soldiers caravan into Washington DC to crack a few heads. An elderly man in Buffalo triggered blue rage by attempting to return a helmet. Bethesda, MD police are looking for a bicyclist assaulting kids that were posting George Floyd signs. That should be easy, they just need to find a guy that looks just like a cop. Maybe police are a mistake.
DC’s Mayor, Muriel Bowser, increases the police budget by $19 million… But sent a big message to the world this morning, and might have a few more things up her sleeve. Authorities always need more money for more domination.
The New York Times is about 200 years old and hopes to establish a method of administering its standards soon. In the meantime, occasional fascist propaganda might leak through. The Times shouldn’t challenge its readers with lies, however.
Thu, 4 June 2020
David Waldman fixes everything in a little under two hours. Friday we share kitten videos.
On Monday, our jerk-often president shambled through a field of tear gas containers and spent ordnance for an historically jerk-off photo op, misinterpreted by some as “Jericho”. Those people are a problem, and although they are a goldmine for some, can’t elect Donald Trump by themselves. Greg Dworkin sees that support decaying as red states turn blue for Joe. Suburban women know exactly where they stand. Few wishy-washy people make surveyors look good.
A few dipshits do make America look bad. A Texas bar bans masks. Piers Morgan and Rudy Giuliani have a dick-measuring contest, and both win. You can spot a Gop ignoramus from across the room. Wearing a mask remains the smart thing to do.
Top military leaders are objecting to Donald Trump making America a military state. Donald builds that wall. Donald rattles his little sabre. No, you can’t touch it. Guantanamo’s nice this time of year.
Wed, 3 June 2020
The Siskel and Ebert of American politics, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin, give this Wednesday two thumbs down.
It began Monday with the first strains of John Williams score rising as cameras followed Trump and his all-white entourage marching across Lafayette Park, met by Empress Ivanka, there to present Donald with his second favorite book after Art of the Deal, his beloved Bible… Well, “a” Bible… aka, “The Holy Prop”. Hey! No spoilers for Gop senators, as none of them have seen it yet. After this blockbuster wraps, the White House will begin production of their