Jul 5, 2022
David Waldman and KITM welcome everyone back from the 4th of July weekend. Injured? Shot? No? Then you did better than a lot of people. At a parade in Highland Park, Illinois, a guy climbed onto a roof and used his assault rifle for its intended purpose, which had also been his intended purpose for weeks. He left 6 dead, 30 injured, and then headed home, where he was gently apprehended by local law enforcement. The local law enforcement attending the parade could not be contacted for comment, or much else. The Chicago White Sox say this is why we can’t have nice things. As always, normal people have normal reactions to this, and abnormal people have abnormal reactions. Highland Park is the last place you’d expect this to happen. It’s definitely the last place Clarence Thomas expected it to happen.
Highland Park wasn’t the only holiday mass shooting. It wasn’t even the only one in the Chicago area. There was panic at a Philadelphia, Pennsylvania fireworks show after shots rang out... Police were somehow injured, and a bullet somehow found its way into a cop’s hat. Philadelphia’s mayor is just tired of this stuff. (These weren’t the only fireworks shows with guns or panic, either.)
Then there’s the mass shooting in Akron, Ohio. Although in this case, a mass of police were shooting a mass of bullets into just one guy, Jayland Walker.
All of this adds up to… well, who knows, but don’t ask Nikki Haley, that’s for sure. The marshal of the Supreme Court wants to crack down on people making noise around the Justices’ houses, and also the people not making noise. Election deniers head out to the offices of their local officials who they know “respond to fear”.
Meanwhile, the Supreme Court will dispose of everyone from Originalists to Schoolhouse Rock by redefining the meaning of “Legislature”.