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Kagro in the Morning


Mar 10, 2022

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It’s Thursday, which is of course the day David Waldman takes a kid to the dentist, but also the final day of the week for Greg Dworkin to show up to help impart KITM’s signature winsome edification, illuminating badinage, etc.

It’s night in UkraineNo doubt another night of atrocities. Republicans will start World War III if it makes you believe they’ve always been Ukraine’s best bud. Democrats fantasize that memory, hypocrisy, shame, will now factor into the GQP’s decision-making, thus ushering in a new golden era of bipartisanship. However, Thomas Massie’s expert Glenn Greenwald is still concerned about the wily Ukrainians and their “laboratories”, and Lisa Murkowski will tell you last month’s opinion would never factor into this one, so don’t get your hopes up.

In Poland, Vice President Kamala Harris talked about Putin’s future war crimes tribunal, as fighting the war int the present tense is kind of a sore subject. Sanctions have dropped Russia’s credit score to, like, 300, requiring plenty of scrimping, and actually might have a real effect as Russians, one by one, begin to understand the situation. Russians do have a long history of losing, but Vladimir Putin will see they get there fast this time.

Ukrainians are tired of seeing all the drones overhead. Hopefully, they’ll be giving them a lot of flak, but the thing most likely to take these drones down could be a product recall. Russian oligarchs are also embedded within western firms, making their removal extra painful. Unfortunately, cryptocurrency was designed for just this situation. Fortunately, crowdfunding was also designed for just this situation.

A plane carrying Donald Trump lost an engine over the Gulf of Mexico, and yet the crew was not fast thinking enough to jettison excess ballast. Donald had a new shakedown for the rubes planned before they even touched down. Wendy Rogers used to have reasonable views, before she learned to shakedown the rubes. A Georgia man stole $57,000 from the government to buy a Pokémon card, and of course small thinkers like him go to jail.

Oh, hey, remember COVID? No? That’s okay, nobody does.