Apr 9, 2021
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Charlie Sheen and Emilio Estevez, Owen Wilson and Luke Wilson, all those Hemsworths, David Waldman and… David isn’t saying. But, it is whomever’s birthday! Happy birthday!
While we’re celebrating, thank you to all you out there sending in recurring contributions! We find that we rarely have to call you defectors to keep you in line. Stay healthy, keep the money coming, and never take the drug Ivermectin unless you are a horse with parasitic worms... but if you are, KITM is reaching a wider demographic than we anticipated.
The Royal Family sure knows how to stick around. Patriarch of the British royal family for over 70 years, Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh, is dead at 99.
For a guy known as leader of the “Oath Keepers”, Stewart Rhodes’ marriage is quite unstable. So is the rest of his life, as US prosecutors begin to close in on “Person One” in the Capitol insurrection. Existing calls and texts point to Oath Keeper and Proud Boy involvement, as well as the empty spaces in their data point to where they attempted to cover their tracks. Roger Stone keeps appearing around the edges of everything. The White House tells Democratic investigators to check over at the National Archives and Records Administration for any Trump Capitol attack evidence.
Michael Flynn is a spy, and prefered spying over his day job. Flynn was warned about taking foreign money as far back as 2014, but that’s an integral part of the spy biz, so he ignored those warnings. Michael also a had a forbidden internet connection at the Pentagon, because you know, that’s what spies do.
Ivanka Trump touted more rigorous standards for women's empowerment, but Ivanka was so slack that she didn’t get around to setting up her own graft. Little Marco is the big winner.
Yale’s Tiger Couple haven’t put effort into anything but soaking Yale students.
Ten years of spending caps under the Budget Control Act might have wasted $200 Billion in R&D costs.
The Virginia Supreme Court says Charlottesville's Lee and Jackson statues can come down. What ball will idiots carry then?
Joe Manchin sees no circumstance for voting to kill filibuster, but sure sounds open to guardrails, lanes, and such, so maybe infrastructure is the way to his heart. The filibuster was one of the many things Hillary Clinton warned you about.
Matt Gaetz never paid for sex, possibly to avoid child labor laws, but actually, paying prostitutes is the pimp’s job, isn’t it? When going to the Bahamas, travel, hotel, drugs and women are part of the Gaetz package deal. One Republican has called for Gaetz to resign once he double-checked Matt’s last name to make sure it wasn’t “Trump”.