Mar 24, 2020
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Tune in today and listen to David Waldman and KITM. Listen, it’s the safest thing you will do all day!
Donald Trump is tired of Coronavirus and people whining about his stupidity, and he has come up with a solution—observe what others have discovered that works, and just do the opposite, by mandating PDA’s, (with the exception of Asians, natch) early enough to rekindle a proper plague, but before the money he and Munchin divvy out turns to toilet paper. Oh, and sell the rubes some poison before that herd gets too thinned out. Hey, if you can’t trust the president of the United States, who can you trust? If you don’t smell something wrong with that, you probably already have COVID-19. Incredibly, Liz Cheney has kept her sense of smell all these years.
Texas Lt. Governor Dan Patrick, for one, welcomes our virus overlords, and feels his mom and yours would be happy and proud to be death-paneled for the youngs. Matthew Dowd’s motto is “All 401Ks Matter”.
Elon Musk heroically, brilliantly, devises a way to make you think he made 1,200 respirators. Actually, he did “produce” them, and that’s nice. Trump purported GM and Ford were starting ventilator production, which is “true”, depending on your idea of what “start” and “production” means. Now all they need to do is produce a few thousand trained operators.
Dick Pound knows when it’s time to pull out, so the Tokyo Olympics move to 2021. Thanks Obama!
A soirée in Connecticut was a superspreader hotspot, but can’t compare to the coronavirus party being thrown over at Liberty University attended by 5,000 energetic enthusiastic evangelicals in the heart, or maybe lungs, of Virginia. Hobby Lobby won’t be closing, but might transfer some employees to the afterlife in the near future.
Did you ever notice how all disaster movies have a Rand Paul character in them?
Someday we will recover from all of this and get back to counting all the ways Donald Trump has scammed people.
Joan McCarter tells us that the Republican bubble won’t protect them, and might kill us. The Democrats fight to keep the coronavirus stimulus focused on workers and hospitals. The Republicans stick with slush funds and kneecapping the poor. Chuck Schumer keeps the momentum going in the right direction.
Rosie the Respirators across the country will save us with their sewing machines. Don’t know how to sew, but can type or dial a phone? If so, there is a place for you in this army.