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Kagro in the Morning


Mar 5, 2020

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Senate Majority Leader Elizabeth Warren

David Waldman braved coming into work today, even though he had not contracted COVID-19.

You’d think everyone would know by now, the coronavirus spread is only made worse when Donald Trump is allowed to pull stuff out of his ass. The CDC blocked a FDA scientist when he tried solve things too quickly for them.

The reviews are in! Greg Dworkin’s stellar performance on Slate’s Trumpcast is the toast of the internet. We just hope we can still afford him now.

Greg tells us that if you want to look into the future of the coronavirus in the US, read Seattle’s local news. The first public school district in New York closes in response to COVID-19 Starbucks doesn’t want see your dirty lips even on your own cup.

Nevertheless, the Democratic primary persists. The average person is a little better looking, a lot better driver, and quite a bit smarter than others. They’re also see themselves right about in the middle of the political spectrum, and see Joe Biden right there with them. Did Bernie Sanders fail to deliver the youth? Did the youth fail to deliver Bernie Sanders? Or were they all just overwhelmed by an even bigger Boomer boom? Win or lose, Bernie helped send the Overton window into a new Zip code.

Meanwhile, presidential adviser Jared Kushner advised himself into another financial bonanza. A constitutional earthquake sends the US teetering towards tyranny, and congress back to exercising inherent contempt.