Mon, 30 April 2018
Yesterday was a tragic day for those of us invested in sharp sticks. We know that you and I shouldn’t poke deplorables in election years, and that everyone in journalism and not-so-journalism have consistently been stick-sensitive, but now comedians have also been banned from poking representatives of the government in power:
The White House Correspondents Association will henceforth require Bob Hope-caliber comedians, to match their Bob Hope-caliber correspondence. The WHCA represents those in power. Those in power are happy to be hypocrites to stay in power. It is a comedian’s job to punch up, and punching up is hard.
We need accountability in 2018, as always. Rich old white people are spending their last dimes to assure white power is forever. Researchers can now move on to hard stuff, now that they’ve determined that actually, guns do kill people. Ronny Jackson heads back to the swamp with Hawkeye and B.J. so Donald needs to find a new doctor.
The Department of Defense’s MHS GENESIS EHR system has resolved 1000 issues, and only has 6000 more to go for a smooth rollout. When Donald Trump needs help on the VA, he looks up from his Mar-a-Lago steak and ketchup and yells “Is there a doctor in the house?” First one off the links was Dr. Bruce Moskowitz, who just happened to have some healthcare reform plans handy.
David returns to the story of Levi Tillemann, the guy that took notes on his meeting with Steny Hoyer, then revealed the notes were recordings once his polling flagged. Now it seems Levi is one of the Tillemann-Dicks of Denver, along with Charity, Rainbow, Liberty Belle, and Timber Dick. (Leave the “safe search” on when looking up pictures.)
Fri, 27 April 2018
Dems in disarray! No! No, no, no.
Maybe a little, little bit. Aided by Armando, David Waldman does his best to rearray us all, or at least straighten us out on how things really happen in Big Politics, based on his experience in Big D world, where sometimes they stray from little d democracy. This time the straying was, Lordy, captured on tape. That tape didn’t capture the whole story, however, and that is where David and Armando came in, for most of the show and probably several shows into the future.
House Chaplain Rev. Patrick J. Conroy was slyly using his prayers to turn God Democratic, but sharp-eared Paul Ryan caught him, and will replace him with someone that has sex with women. The White House knew what a family man Rob Porter was a long time before he was forced to resign.
Michael Cohen expected to be Chief of Staff. Donald Trump expects to be on Mount Rushmore. Life is full of disappointments, but at least Melania got a beautiful gift for her birthday that is sure to keep on giving. A giant sea of red is forming across the nation, but it’s not the one Trump envisioned or is prepared for.
Thu, 26 April 2018
David Waldman, Greg Dworkin, and for a moment there Armando fought to put a cap on today’s gusher of news. We’ll see what can be mopped up by Friday:
Ronny Jackson’s nomination to head the Department of Veterans Affairs crashed like a government vehicle being drunk-driven away from a Secret Service going-away party (Allegedly), joining the 24 nominee pileup. Now Ronny’s free to tell us Donald’s true stats! (Alleged)
Donald Trump almost got all the truth out before being censored by Steve Doocy this morning. Before he was silenced he still managed to say plenty. Plenty to be reviewed by students of history, law, and psychology for years to come.
Many voters say they haven’t seen that pay boost from the tax law, unless they’re liars. If outperforming polling expectations actually equals winning elections, Democrats are going to be winners in 2018.
Jill Stein tosses the Senate Intelligence requests for her Russian communications right into the election recount file.
The Kanye West-Donald Trump online media cross-promotion blitz should be a big success, for Kanye. Shania Twain feels that she could have done something stupid if she was only given the opportunity. Steven K G Bannon had been working on Trump campaign marketing long before there was a Trump campaign.
Wed, 25 April 2018
It’s Wednesday, and that means that you get a KITM chock-full of the sweeping experience and remarkable acumen that all of you expect, and some of you pay for:
David Waldman, a.k.a. the Jane Goodall of our political scene, predicts a lot of poo-throwing this afternoon when Donald Trump watches Fox News report that Jeff Sessions is recusing himself again. Jeff scurried quickly away, hoping the alpha dotard was too busy getting stuff done or whatever to notice him.
Steve Mnuchin enjoys solar eclipses after all. Scott Pruitt’s security chief was an investigator for The National Enquirer. The Port Authority ethics chairwoman pulled out her white privilege in front of police officers and was released unharmed. Gop-led budget committees have just one job... and refuse to do it.
Hey, we didn’t lose bad at all last night! Greg Dworkin pores over the stats to determine that win or lose, Republicans are losers. Team Blue won their 40th statehouse seat with a flip of New York’s 10th, but still won't control the chamber because a Dem has chosen to continue to caucus with the Republicans. Arizona teachers plan to strike for school funding.
This all should make Republicans anxious, although they were already “anxious”, as in “status-anxious”, as in “white-status-anxious”, as in “racist”. Many in the Alt-Right are also anxious that they might never be loved by the women they fear and despise. Some of the women the Alt-Right fear and despise remain anxious about brown people. West Virginia Murderer-Candidate for Gop Senate, Don Blankenship is anxious about the Chinapeople.
Maybe if the Gop had less day-to-day responsibilities they’d feel more relaxed… as if they felt any pressure to attend to scruples to begin with. At least the swamp is upfront about its sliminess in Trump world.
Armando points out that Chelsea Clinton pointing out factual errors to authors citing her is not “feuding”, when there would be no feud if they just contacted her to verify their articles. Journalism is not about creating safe spaces, either.
Joan McCarter reports that Trump’s favorite doctor has dropped back to at least second place since he’s not quite the guy he portrayed on TV. Meanwhile, we are now waiting for the rest of government to melt down.
Tue, 24 April 2018
David Waldman brings us the latest in science, politics and the patriarchy:
What’s the point of pissing matches now that men aren’t limited to “off the rack” penis and scrotum choices? Just think, if this procedure was available in the 70’s Donald Trump could have taken that first million from Dad, kicked back, and we never would have heard about him.
By the way, evidence suggests Donald Trump is a traitor. David, and David Cay Johnston review that evidence.
Torontonians, and the rest of us wonder why a guy would think to run over dozens of people in a van, a horrible method of murder, and a lousy method of murder-suicide. Turns out he might have had some penis and scrotum related disorders himself.
Speaking of Sean Hannity, he has tens of millions of dollars in real estate across 4 states, hidden by anonymous shell corporations, and what do you know, is linked to a fraudulent property dealer who rigged auctions of foreclosed properties.
Long-time listener, first-time KITM essayist Lisa Iannucci reports on New Jersey's 4th congressional district. Lisa talks about the challenges to Democrats, and issues baked into the New Jersey political machines.
Mon, 23 April 2018
Today David Waldman catches us up on… Just kidding! We’ll never catch up!
Travis Reinking, just another well-regulated militia and sovereign citizen, killed people because it was easier than putting on his pants. Before he went to Waffle House, Travis, who believes he was outside the law, traveled to the White House. He just wanted to thank the President (who believes he is above the law) for rolling back laws regulating guns for the mentally ill. The government, of course then took his guns, but his dad supported gun culture, and of course returned them. At Waffle House, unarmed hero James Shaw, Jr. took advantage of Reinking’s pitifully small magazine capacity to take Travis’ gun away again. Unfortunately, there’s more guns where that came from to take away. Now Nashville’s Mayor requests that we all be honest for a moment.
Greg Dworkin has a hard time bringing us up-to-date when 2016 won’t go away. Donald Trump is the worst president, but that doesn’t make 2016 the most winnable presidential election in modern history.
In the travel ban case, the Supreme Court considers “the president” vs. “this president”. Is the problem the president or the presidency? Is the Gop’s problem Trump, or them? Republicans elect more inexperienced candidates than Democrats because it is easier to break things than to build them. Meanwhile we are still waiting for the tax-cut boost.
If the President doesn’t get any integrity, no one gets any. Scott Pruitt never had integrity, but he did come to the E.P.A. with plenty of fancy homes, a shell company and friends with money. Sean Hannity likes shell companies also, per the advice of his 10 buck lawyer.
Enough about this bad President, let’s talk about a good precedent: The 1972 DNC lawsuit against the Nixon campaign worked out fine, so here comes the DNC lawsuit against the Trump campaign. Armando calls in to talk about those cases, along with Bell Atlantic Corp. v. Twombly, Ashcroft v. Iqbal, and just how we expect to sue WikiLeaks and Russia. Also, NYT sucks.
Fri, 20 April 2018
Armando was RIGHT! And David Waldman told you so also. Come to think of it, I believe I was on target too, and once this hits Wikipedia it’ll be all be canon:
The Washington Post peels away layer upon layer of Donald Trump’s lies to discover a bank account as bankrupt as his soul. David reveals how Donald scammed Forbes as one of his first of many, many scams on his path to grifting the world.
Thu, 19 April 2018
Greg Dworkin supplies a lightning round of topics: Missouri governor Eric Greitens is going to be impeached if he doesn’t step down. Greitens wants a restraining order to block his Attorney General from digging too deep into his dirt. Bump stocks will soon be a collector’s item. Eric Schneiderman proposes to eliminate the pardon loophole Donald Trump was hoping to use. Mitch McConnell wishes he had a few norms left to help him as the Senate becomes such a free-for-all that even a NASA director can’t be appointed without some Flake getting in the way.
Michael Cohen’s not such a big guy anymore, dropping his libel suits while he puts his energy into reducing his jail time. Could Cohen turn on Trump? Not if Trump gets the drop on him first. Cohen’s world gets mobbier the closer you look, but Trump’s world is mobbiest. We knew how much these worlds were intertwined, now everyone else is catching on too. Trump had to call his boss to get out of trouble when Nikki Haley started throwing sanctions around. Nikki won’t let that happen again. Rex Tillerson only wishes he stood up to that moron like that.
The Gop and Trump voters in West Virginia get everything they were asking for in Senate candidate Don Blankenship. Across the Midwest, farmers realize the value of a Trump vote. Tax cuts didn’t help Republicans, so maybe if they cut more of them? Or how about attacking Obamacare some more? Strategies like these have brought red states like Indiana into play. No promises, but even Ted Cruz is sweating it out on Beto O'Rourke in Texas. Democrats raise big money against Gop held seats.
Wed, 18 April 2018
It’s Wednesday, the day David Waldman brings us the great variety of news and views that is provided by KITM’s great variety of people:
There are procedural hurdles for the Robert Mueller protection bills being placed by the people predisposed to Mueller’s endangerment. Meanwhile, Republican House members hustle for leadership positions while there is something left for them to lead. The AZ legislature makes emergency moves to double-cross John McCain while they have a chance.
Mike Pompeo, possible future Secretary of State, was last month’s Dennis Rodman. Nikki Haley found out that no one is too big for Trump to throw under the bus. Nikki might feel jilted, but knows there’s other fish in the sea.
Donald Trump just doesn’t know how to quit James, or Vlad, but Michael sure gets the slow fade. Armando recommends the latest Trump, Inc. podcast which uncovers a ton of Michael Cohen scuzzery leading to his temporary embrace and predestined discardment by Donald Trump.
Greg continues to advocate a reduction in our conservative sharp stick-poking, outside of odd-numbered years of course.
Joan McCarter replays the slow-motion demolition and collapse of our government and society:
McConnell and Senate Republicans are working out a way to nullify regulations they don't like, possibly going back decades. House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy bribes his way to a promotion to speaker. Paul Ryan promised the Freedom Caucus they could have a meaningless vote on a balanced budget amendment, because their base likes meaningless votes. House and Senate Republicans don’t want to undo the Omnibus bill, but Mick Mulvaney and Donald Trump do, so that’s happening, and a bunch of nobodies take a swing at some somebodies to make a name for themselves.
Tue, 17 April 2018
Who would have guessed Sean Hannity? No one! This season of The Presidential Apprentice has lost all believability. They already jumped the shark with the whole Michael Cohen storyline, and now this. Why David Waldman keeps tuning in is anybody’s guess.
Armando doesn’t want to de minimis Sean Hannity, but wants to refocus on Michael Cohen’s case, now being ruled upon by U.S. District Judge Kimba Wood. Judge Wood is now determining if Trump can call materials seized privileged, or if she should appoint an outside attorney to assess the records.
Donald Trump and Sean Hannity hog all of the limelight from Elliott Broidy, the neglected Larry Fine of Cohen clientele, which is really unfair considering that he’s out there impregnating, warmongering and profiteering at competitive levels.
What’s coming up on this week’s Apprentice? Not Russia! Trump caught Nikki Haley trying to impose sanctions on Vladimir and had to shut her down. He couldn’t allow the
Mon, 16 April 2018
Donald Trump and Stormy Daniels are in Sunny Florida reliving old times today. (Ms. Daniels more wistfully.) It’s not as nice outside KITM World Headquarters today, but David Waldman has news and analysis to keep him warm:
In Connecticut this morning, Greg Dworkin’s dog-doorbell Abby caught one rat, but in Washington DC all this mischief in stampede may be a harbinger, hopefully of the beginning of the end. Michael Cohen may not be the biggest rat, but he sure is trapped, and will take a lot more rats with him, such as Keith M. Davidson, the obscure sex scandal lawyer who is not so obscure anymore. Did he also negotiate a $30 thousand payout with a $1 million penalty for Trump Tower doorman Dino Sajudin?
A federal judge ordered Cohen to turn over a list of his clients. Screwed either way, Michael responded with a letter saying he wouldn’t provide the names of any clients that weren’t already publicly available, because of, well, the Deep State. Armando calls in to discuss this from a lawyer’s perspective, as well as the potential threat to Donald Trump’s civil liberties.
Fri, 13 April 2018
Thu, 12 April 2018
There is so much news today that David Waldman and Greg Dworkin extended their discussion to 3 half hour segments just to deliver it to you. Also they were having too much fun to cut it short:
Paul Ryan decides to make his exit, with many holding the door, many helping him out the window. Paul leaves nothing of value except his legacy, Donald Trump. The Republicans might just hold their party together if Trump doesn’t run amok, so Donald will be as calm and calculated as Putin and Fox and Friends can make him.
It’s Trump’s party now. Psychology might help explain the insanity of Trump supporters, but really it’s about race. Republicans can’t even pretend to be “conservative” anymore. Trump wanted rescissions on that $1.3T spending bill that he master negotiated, but that won’t happen.
Michael Cohen also can’t be around for Donald. Of course, the FBI is looking into the usual wire fraud and bank fraud, but also is interested in information regarding the Access Hollywood tape and taxi medallions. Wikileaks started dropping Clinton campaign emails an hour after the Access Hollywood tape news broke. As for taxi medallions, they were the bitcoin of ‘30’s New York, and still handy for hiding money from the authorities.
Steve Bannon’s back and he’ll fix all of this! Unfortunately he’s the same Steve Bannon that got them into all of this. Sean Hannity’s plan is to throw it all on the wall and see what sticks. Inside the Gop plan to discredit Comey.
Now it looks like there might be new Trump kids to make fun of (or not, depending on their age). Trump’s doorman had the dirt, and went to the National Enquirer with his story just like Karen McDougal did, which ended up a bad move in both their cases as the CEO is a big Trump pal.
Scott Pruitt wants to give out commemorative coins celebrating “Scott Pruitt”.
Wed, 11 April 2018
David Waldman speeds up an already fast news day by turning on the KITM microphone at 9:05. Somehow he got even more news to fit into the remaining time:
Wow what a f***ing mess! Greg Dworkin explains how this steaming pile of presidency got deposited on our doorstep. Donald Dopey Fool Trump telegraphs his punches the modern way, via Twitter. Bombing Syria will make planning easier, by eliminating those boring options. Trump is also trying to figure out how to fire Robert Mueller, or Rod Rosenstein, or Jeff Sessions, or maybe Michael Cohen retroactively. The Senate could protect these people, but meh.
Joan McCarter tells us of the jockeying happening behind the scenes leading up to the Paul Ryan ouster. Trump tried to double-cross his own tax bill with a package of rescissions, but that’s probably going nowhere. Republicans are more likely to help him screw the poor, which will help them feel better about the $1 Trillion dollar hole they dug. They’ll also promise to go on a diet, for a week.
The CEO of Sinclair Broadcasting apologized to his staff for forcing them to talk to normal people during their fake news production time.
Tue, 10 April 2018
You’ve come to the right place today. As dogs around the world brace themselves to be wagged like never before, you need David Waldman and Armando to provide you with the foundation to understand and question today’s events. And, when the missiles and Attorneys General are being fired, you can come back to Daily Kos for LIVE coverage and analysis fully prepared!
Michael Cohen is under investigation for bank fraud, wire fraud, campaign finance violations… and taxi medallions. Also, Michael Cohen is the Jared of the Trump business world. He’s the King Kong of coffee boys, Trump’s connection to the RNC, porno blondes, Russia, etc., etc. Therefore, the FBI knew it had to clear a higher-than-normal bar. Somebody still might screw this up, but it won’t be Robert Mueller. Even Kellyanne Conway’s husband shot down Donald’s attorney–client privilege defense.
To preserve our constitution and protect our country, Republicans plan to deliver a mighty pout to counter any of Donald Trump plans to pull a trigger, any trigger today. Even so, Donald will pull some trigger today.
Tom Bossert shows his strategic expertise by selecting the best possible day ever to quit.
Barack and Michelle Obama won’t be attending Prince Harry and Megan Markle’s upcoming wedding at Windsor Castle on May 19, so now I don’t see much reason to go.
Mon, 9 April 2018
David Waldman brings us Week 64 of The Presidential Apprentice, but he’d rather not. He’d also rather not bring us the news of dads shooting their sons, news of when the dad mistakes the son for a burglar stealing the family car at night. When will we learn to respect America’s snowflake culture?
Greg Dworkin warns us that November may be closer than we think, but that might be OK, considering it’s just as soon for Republicans. Older, educated white voters have become older and wiser, while new smart young people register every day. Farmers that voted Trump are beginning to pray he’s the lying sack they’ve been hearing about, at least on his tariff threats. The Gop are certain he is that sack, but have given up on predicting on when Trump might say the truth. The Trump Hotel handbook prohibits Trumpian behavior. Trump’s online store collects sales tax from only 2 states. Trump’s base isn’t motivated by anger and fear like it used to be, and now even more voters are angered by and fear him. Some Republicans fear Trump’s impeachment... but, think of the ratings boost for Apprentice!
Donald Trump had his second fire in Trump Tower, this time ending the life of a lovely man. Trump knew adding sprinklers would cut into his bottom line, on the other hand he was aware that in new buildings it helps raise the asking price. Jared Kushner has sudden incognito assistance on paying off his Mark of the Beast on 5th Ave. What is Mohammed bin Salman up to, anyhow?
Internet trolling might be the new up-and-coming career choice for those starting in politics, if robots weren’t already taking all of the jobs. Christopher Wylie describes the hard choices in our future.
Secret (but predictable) use of census info helped send Japanese Americans to internment camps in WWII.
Fri, 6 April 2018
Thu, 5 April 2018
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin put together a wide range of stories today, all of which are set to be topics you will be reading, hearing and singing about in the weeks to come.
Trump accidentally sustained the Obama economy for about a year, but is finally getting his personal stamp on things.
Advertisers aren’t helping us with our boycotts, they are adjusting the media to be of better service to themselves. The real revolution is happening on the streets of Oklahoma and Kentucky. This trend will grow as the coming automation apocalypse disrupts virtually all employment.
ISIS knew to invest taxes into defense spending, and 5-star hotels. El Chapo knows the importance of insuring the distribution chain. In America, conservative activists and industry allies prioritize keeping Scott Pruitt at the head of the EPA.
Wed, 4 April 2018
It’s KITM’s Too Much News Wednesday! David Waldman, Greg Dworkin and Joan McCarter team up today to bring you too much info about too many things before you too become overwhelmed by this afternoon’s news:
The Dow falls off a cliff, as China and the US square off. China targets its tariffs on Trump counties, as we find out which country is prepared to take the most pain. Our country is the one with democracy and elections coming up however, and Scott Walker is first to show his pain threshold is mighty low, as he quickly and cravenly takes out half of Wisconsin in response to the first of WI’s Blue Wave. The Wisconsin Gop yellow streak of anti-Pelosi ads seems to be a failure, and so might their tried-and-true practice of Fake News, once the Alt-Right media bubble pops. FCC Chairman Ajit Pai makes propaganda local. Some of the Right might be convincible, but many should be just left alone.
Who will be the biggest winner/loser of Presidential Apprentice? It’s hard to beat Jared and Ivanka’s inside advantage as well as their innate, congenital sentiment that everyone can be bought, but you still can’t knock Scott Pruitt’s drive and determination to take it way down to the next level.
Of course none of these can hold a candle to the Donald. Robert Mueller wants to present Trump with the reward he earned, but Donald needs to meet him halfway. Broadway producer Donald Trump missed lessons on the National Guard’s efficacy as a police force, therefore he wants to retry the experiment on the Mexico border.
Up on Capitol Hill, Republican desire to starve poor people is holding up the farm bill, and now they might have to back up to revote against the the $1.3 Trillion spending bill they just voted for. Oh yeah, and then they have to balance the budget.
Tue, 3 April 2018
Donald Trump avoided firing Scott Pruitt, Robert Mueller or The Easter Bunny yesterday, or maybe it just didn’t occur to him. Either way, David Waldman and Armando had so much to talk about on the first two that they had no time to address the Bunny scandals:
Scott Pruitt would have been fired in any other administration, but this isn’t any other administration, so he’ll have to work that much harder. So, Pruitt went against the White House to raise the pay of two close aides. He treated a security detail to trips to the Rose Bowl, Disneyland and a University of Kentucky basketball game. The EPA was looking into moving Scott from first class to private jets. All of this moved Donald Trump and John Kelly to assure Pruitt that “We have your back”, so that’s it for him.
So, George Papadopoulos walks into a bar... and it’s funny already! Rod Rosenstein authorized the Justice Department to investigate the Trump campaign collusion with the Russian government. Robert Mueller didn’t have to tell you as much as he did, which tells you a lot.
Day 3 into Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and here’s the story of the NYPD sex crimes chief donating thousands to elect Trump after seeing the Pussy Tape, and during NYPD’s investigation into Anthony Weiner’s texting.
A federal judge rules that one of many emoluments clause violation cases can go forward.
Mon, 2 April 2018
It’s Easter Monday and David Waldman may or may not be off rolling an egg somewhere, but he’s certainly unavailable for a “live” show. But, before he left, he made sure our metaphorical basket was filled with fresh pre-recorded goodies:
Donald Trump runs the country like he did his businesses, from the seat of his big fat pants. Trump’s infrastructure speech covered the totality of his knowledge with all of the depth that he is capable. Daniel Dale kept sane by annotating the idiocy minute-by-minute.
To ensure future scandals, the office that vets Trump appointees would not pass most vetting.