Fri, 31 January 2020
David Waldman brings us to the weekend, as Donald Trump heads into his super bowel interview victory lap. Maybe Hannity will tell him who’s playing. The impeachment sham trial has an end, but not an exoneration. The facts will keep coming out and justice will prevail. For instance, now we can finally impeach Ronald Reagan!
Well, it could be worse. We all could be on the Doomsday Glacier with the Wuhan flu, or live in England. Actually, it feels like all of that stuff keeps coming towards us. Over and over again. Well, you know what goes around comes around... Oh, Democrats will bring it back most of the way, but we can rely on Republicans to make up the slack when it is their turn. When reality keeps slapping you around, it does become hard to live in the reality-based community.
Ok, Lamar. Lamar Alexander kept his head off a pike. Alexander tweeted many reasons, which apparently even he didn’t bother to read twice. All of the rest of the Gop cowards are scheduled to fall in line today. Will John Roberts finish calling balls and strikes and break a tie, or will he just cut his humiliation and go home?
No one can say Nancy Pelosi and Adam Schiff didn’t do a great job. This. is. not. the… case. with. Pam... Bondi. Anyhow, who would’ve guessed Hunter Biden was related to Joe? More importantly, what did Burisma do that was wrong, and what did it do with Hunter, or Trump? And what is Burisma still doing with Cofer Black, Coordinator for Counterterrorism, contender for Director of Trump’s CIA, Director of Blackwater, and maybe Hunter’s regular fishing buddy?
Thu, 30 January 2020
Caesar, Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Hussein, and Trump. All out there prioritizing their nation’s interests over their own, probably. In fact, it is almost impossible for one to determine where the United States ends and Donald Trump begins. And that one would be Alan Dershowitz, ever since he and most of the Republican conference became anti-woke... All Trump needs is 34 votes. As those are Republican votes, they could add up to maybe 7% of the US population. Republicans pretend to want witnesses, which they could vote for if they would like.
Democrats can try to straighten people out, readdress the facts, play by the rules, but the endgame is so clear Republicans have been playing their bench, heckling the umpire/judge, and just making stuff up without really a care, as if they actually believe this will be all over by the end of this week.
Eh, maybe we’ll all be dead by the weekend from the beer flu. Smart people are working on fixing things, and might be in the lead. Of course, dumb people are also hard at work. You know what’s worse than the Wuhan flu? The regular flu.
Wed, 29 January 2020
Nutty reckless John Bolton can’t be trusted, therefore should testify under oath, to get all the facts out there, right? John Kelly believes Bolton. So does Donald Trump. Rudy Giuliani would trade Bolton’s testimony and many other things to get up on the stand. Mitch McConnell wants to know who will take what to make this all go away. It all depends on how many Republicans want to keep their jobs, and how many want to take one for the team. It could be tough to keep that kabuki in their commedia dell'arte.
There is probably still an election coming up. If so, Joe Biden is still in the lead, although you couldn’t tell the youth that, which will matter if they get in the habit of voting. Nuns are regularly in the habit of course, but presently they sing Joe’s praises.
Tue, 28 January 2020
On to the final day of opening “arguments” from the “president’s” “defense!” (That’s a lot of scare quotes, but that’s life in the Trump Era.)
Joan McCarter joins us in covering what’s happened, and previewing what’s to come. Has there been any real change in the question of whether or not the Senate might be open to calling witnesses? Not if history is any guide. Legal strategists ponder calling on Chief Justice Roberts to issue subpoenas himself. Others are not so sure that works—but hell, try anything! Dershowitz dazzles Republicans by cohabiting their weird little bubble and pretending to be baffled by standards he claims would lead to every president being impeached. But they won’t.
In other news, Pompeo remains embroiled in his unwarranted and lie-filled temper tantrum, in service of the moron who actually can’t read maps. The DCCC rolls out its first Red-to-Blue slate of the election year, as word comes that they’re leaving the NRCC in the dust. Do elections still seem to far off in the future for you? Down in Texas, today’s the first election of 2020.
Mon, 27 January 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin bring us up-to-date, and they have a lot to bring:
Oodles happened this weekend. Remember that teeny-tiny part of it when Republicans told us what they were going to say today? That’s ok, nobody does. John Bolton booted all that into the stratosphere. Remember when John Bolton was a short-fused loose-cannon jerk? A few Republicans seem to have forgot... They probably should have “read the manuscript”, which describes a whole new level of quid pro quo. Republicans, in disarray, don’t know what to do, or pretend to do, or to pretend to pretend to do. Lindsey Graham performs an aggressive retrograde advancement maneuver, stage left. Mike Braun wanders back out of the trenches and into the line of fire.
The death toll from the Wuhan virus more than doubled over the weekend, and has spread to at least 12 countries. China has a quarantine across 16 cities totaling almost 50 million people, as the virus spreads to two to three new people for each person infected. Mongolia closes its border with China, as evidence shows that the outbreak was downplayed at first. Publicly funded scientific infrastructure to the rescue!
Backing way up to last week, you might remember Mike Pompeo was a dick. Most voters polled said they wanted Donald Trump removed from office, and just about any Democrat to replace him, but mostly Joe Biden, although, as of last week it was still way too close. Back to impeachment... That call doesn’t sound so perfect anymore. Rudy Colludy went back with buddies Lev and Igor further than he remembers, unless it was only those two pulling Trump’s strings all along! Will Alan Dershowitz remember that there’s already precedence against his case?
Fri, 24 January 2020
Yesterday Adam Schiff soared ever higher in a plea for truth, justice and the American way. In counterpoint, Trump forces asserted their innocence with promises of heads on pikes, and Trump shouting at henchman Igor to take Marie Yovanovitch out. Lev Parnas is so untrustworthy that he was repeatedly in contact with a top aide to the ranking republican on the House Intel Committee. Besides, Ronald Reagan did it all too, maybe worse, and he’s beloved!
Today is the last day to dislodge Trump before Republicans attempt to stuff him back in. Much of the Democratic strategy is to preemptively refute the steaming pile of Republican narrative. Did Nancy Pelosi buy Dems time to get their case together?
Ivanka moved a lot of money through Iran, lining the pockets of some guy named Soleimani. A Soviet counterintelligence officer exited the June 2016 Trump tower meeting with Don Jr., picked up half a million bucks on his way out, and opened up his own Anti-Defamation League. If you want to talk real money however, check out what FIFA passes around.
Surprise — the leader of an American neo-Nazi terror group is tight with Russians.
Oops — the opioid crisis isn’t a “public health emergency” anymore.
Thu, 23 January 2020
So far no one has shouted “Objection! Your Honor” or “Overruled. Proceed.” and yet even Matt Gaetz has been impressed with how the Democrats made their case. Republican Senators would be so impressed if they attended, or attended to, the trial. Senator Mike Braun hasn’t even attended to the last few years. It could have been worse, but a couple of Republicans needed it to look fair.
Support for removing Trump exceeds his support. A lot of his base knows Trump broke the law, but wish that no one else did. Most Americans however want witness testimony. A majority of Americans know Trump broke the law, and most want his removal.
White voters are polarizing on class, people of color are managing to avoid that.
Oh, if only we could go back, start over and pretend this never happened, but alas, that isn’t happening. No one is overturning the election. That is one of those lies, that if you debunk it, you end up spreading it. Donald Trump lies and lies and lies, but, he just said he didn’t so maybe… No, he lies. And who can blame him? When has lying ever let him down? The White House Memo relies four times on the Sondland call where Trump said, "I want no quid pro quo." That never happened. There is proof it didn’t happen. But, who are you going to believe?
Trump’s legal rebuttal to the House's impeachment case avoided the truth whenever possible. The White House brief’s attached OLC memo says that subpoenas issued prior to 10/31/19 are invalid because there was not a formal impeachment inquiry vote. In fact, the White House argues that a conviction could be "unconstitutional" because of the way the House's articles are written. David explores how any of that could be considered true.
Wed, 22 January 2020
IT’S ... Kagro in the Morning!
David Waldman reviews Day 1, and previews Day 2 of Donald Trump’s impeachment trial, which is of course, constitutional nonsense that defies legal consensus, or even eye witness consensus. David and Greg Dworkin however do consense that a fair trial must include witnesses and documents, and that this isn’t one of those.
Adam Schiff kicked off and scored in the inaugural opening of Trump Trial One. Democrats showed their strength early by running up a score from the very beginning. Mitch McConnell caved before the end of lunch break. John Roberts blew his whistle after midnight. Oh, Dems are still going to “lose”, probably, but they aren’t giving it away for free... and, no matter what, Republicans aren’t going to “win”. Trump pre-celebrates by bragging about hiding evidence.
Richmond’s MLK Day gun rally was an outbreak of terrorism on American soil. It is impossible for the Richmond gun rally to be both peaceful and intimidating. It did have a sense of style, though. (I think my mom has that babushka!) The alt-right boogaloo some had planned didn’t sound too bad either, until the mass killings and destruction part.
Tue, 21 January 2020
Martin & Lewis. Simon & Garfunkel. Aniston & Pitt... There wasn’t a dry eye this morning at KITM World Headquarters when David Waldman welcomed back persona grata Armando… And, it is about time. These are trying times with big questions in need of answers, such as how the Senate plans to try absolutely nothing and no one in Donald Trump’s impeachment trial and get away with it.
The impeachment trial begins with a debate about the rules, which the OLC will tell you is only one rule and Alan Dershowitz will tell you that is one rule too many. Midnight Mitch believes that with 51 votes there is no debate, he call yes, no, he can make day, night, and what are you going to do about it, at least without a time machine? David and Armando analysed the situation and came up with ideas. We can only hope Senators tuned in this morning.
Mon, 20 January 2020
Brrr! Cosy up to KITM as David Waldman and Greg Dworkin warm us up for this week’s news:
Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day, a day some of us have off, and most of us respect. Just down yonder from KITM World Headquarters, lawmakers in the Virginia Senate have passed three gun measures. Therefore what better time than MLK day to hold a legislative loser gun nut convention? Today’s cosplay ensembles have been on point right down to Rachel Ray’s scarf. Of course, for some of these Jojo Rabbits, their fantasies might be too close to reality, so keep a distance.
Do go ahead and make fun of the new Space Force uniforms, but when one of our boys is shot down over Endor you might sing a different tune.
Lev Parnas isn’t a distraction, he’s central to how Trump operates, and Trump goes through a lot of them. The entire Administration runs illegal schemes. Therefore, literally all of them are involved, lie at multiple points, and obstruct justice. If Lev wanted to leave, he had to leave noisily or he might leave quietly. William Barr might have hoped arresting Parnas would have been the quiet way, but Lev’s pictures say a thousand words.
For 2020, it’s Elizabeth Warren and Amy Klobuchar neck and neck for the New York Times. Joe Biden smiles. Bernie Sanders supporters aren’t smiling. Bernie Bros, on the other hand, are just the same mob for a different president. Polls remain stable, although slowly heading in a good direction.
Fri, 17 January 2020
David Waldman presents a special Total Exasperation Friday KITM.
A new Trump book with old news is out: A Very Stable Genius reports that Donald Trump is incompetent and narcissistic. That was actually news when Washington Post reporters Philip Rucker and Carol Leonnig first noted it. Now they report it about a year later, although in a book you have to purchase, instead of paying to read on the Post’s page. After citing only a couple of excerpts, David declares his admiration of Trump, disdain of the military, recognition of the deep state, hails Trump’s electoral college victory, scoffs at the constitution, calls for a coup, and urges us to just ignore him from now on... Why so sardonic?
Well, because, generally people are idiots. So, Donald Trump’s poop politics might just be the ticket for him. After all, what good is even the best satire against an administration that selects Jeffrey Epstein’s defense team, Ken Starr and Alan Dershowitz to represent the president? Trump spells GAO “GOA”, says they got it backwards, then tells us Dershowitz backs him up on this, leaving only David to straighten it all out.
Forget that apothegm about judging books by their covers, Matt Gaetz is 100% what he looks like.
Thu, 16 January 2020
Donald Trump personally directed a conspiracy to use taxpayer dollars to destroy his political rivals and rig the election. Sure, you know that already. You’ve known it for a long time, because you listen to KITM. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are on today to tell you a few more things you didn’t know, but will know months before anyone else:
Lev Parnas is an anagram for nasal perv. Now you know!
Maybe you have heard about Lev Parnas. Everyone knows who Lev Parnas is now. Devin Nunes says “Oh you mean THAT ‘Lev Parnas”!” His name is even beginning to ring Mike Pence’s bell. By the end of the week even Donald Trump might get to know him.
And, the Trump Administration illegally withheld assistance from Ukraine and the public evidence shows that the president himself ordered this illegal act. Oh, yes, you knew that. Now, so does the Government Accountability Office. By the end of the week even Bill Barr might find out.
Robert Hyde, new comical lawn gnome in the Ukraine scandal, repeat stalker, who violated a restraining order, was involuntarily committed for psychiatric evaluation, and had his guns confiscated by the police, knows Donald Trump. More importantly Donald Trump knows him. Wait a sec… a guy with mental issues, connected to mysterious Chinese billionaires, low on security radar as an American citizen running for office… eh, probably nothing.
Wed, 15 January 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin discuss the House Intelligence Committee releasing documents from Lev Parnas, our favorite Rudy Colludy henchman/boss/co-conspirator and Donald Trump fanclub alumni. Now it turns out that Lev and Igor weren’t the only comical garden gnomes doing dirty deeds for Donny in Ukraine. Meet Robert Hyde, now known for being quite insane in Ukraine, last year was put into police custody at Mar-a-Lago for psychiatric assessment. He’s also running for Congress in Connecticut, while keeping up an effort to remain the worst person on Twitter. Text records reveal Hyde and Parnas physically surveilling U.S. Ambassador to Ukraine Marie Yovanovitch. They knew when her computer was on or off, when she came and went. It looks as if they intended Yovanovitch to go through some things, things that were dancing around in a few important heads. Heads featured in many beautiful headshots circulating today.
Which brings us to Mr. Gao. Cheng Gao has a whole lot of money, and wants a whole lot of money. Other than that, and of much less interest to Donald Trump, Gao is a vegan “Buddhist Artist” from China.
By the way, the Russian government is disbanding. Vlad says it was fun while it lasted.
Tue, 14 January 2020
David Waldman shakes up the weekly schedule at KITM or maybe it’s the schedule doing the shaking. Either way, Joan McCarter stans out there now need to come here Tuesdays.
As for Wednesday, Nancy Pelosi announced that tomorrow will likely be the day the House votes on sending articles of impeachment to the Senate. Not THE articles of impeachment, as Donald Trump deserves not just these, but many more. Trump is, and always will be, impeached, by the way. After tomorrow, impeachment goes to a trial, not an appeal. The public wants a fair hearing, Moscow Mitch isn’t planning on one, Susan Collins plans to pretend she wants one, but Chuck Schumer plans to call her bluff. Donald Trump never had a plan, but always has an emergency.
Cruelty was the point, and hunger was the plan in West Virginia.
Donald Trump made the long awaited pivot towards being the president of Louisianan college football ticket holders with the endorsement of “Hollyweird” actor Vince Vaughn. Say what you will, but Vaughn was able to maintain physical contact with Donald much longer than most.
Vlad and Bashar aren’t Donald’s true friends, you know.
Trump’s Iran deceptions might go deeper than even we thought. On the day of Soleimani’s assassination, another Iranian was targeted in Yemen. A Patriot missile defense battery was removed from al Asad base just before Iran’s missile attack. Right now could be the quiet before the storm.
Mon, 13 January 2020
David Waldman is back from the weekend, with tales of ice fishing in Kazakhstan, the giant… or at least, very, very big wombats, perhaps the unsung heroes of Australia, and of course, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s Political Action Committee, Courage to Change.
As you’d imagine, David devotes most of the show to WOMBATS—no wait, Leadership PACs! Is AOC’s PAC CtC OK? The short answer is, yes, it shows Ocasio-Cortez’s maturation from outside insurgent to established leader, through the time honored tradition of making money and making friends. For the long answer you’ll need to tune into today’s second half!
But before then, you can tune into Greg Dworkin discussing how Donald Trump fiddles as the world burns. Trump’s parade of lies are catching up with him. Actually, they caught up with him long ago. No one believes him, no one feels more safe, and most people still want him out of here. His evangelical MAGA rally was extra deplorable.
Nancy Pelosi only held the impeachment articles for four legislative days, but Chuck Schumer might get the last laugh at the impeachment trial. Donald Trump has changed his “mind” and doesn’t want a trial now.
Fri, 10 January 2020
Friday! The news never ends, but David Waldman does need to devote his weekends to clearing out the bats, deer and racoons coming down from the KITM hinterlands, and of course Donald Trump requires a little time to come down from whatever he’s on. (I admit that’s wild speculation on my part... I don’t know for a fact that Trump ever comes down from whatever he’s on.)
Last night Trump had another Deplorable Rally, in which Donald was extra deplorable. Room temperature Mike Pence warmed up the crowd, by bragging that the justification for the Soleimani hit, and subsequent deaths of 176 civilians, was all a lie. The Trump crowd never minds any lies at their expense, as long as someone else is being lied to, also.
Moscow Mitch McConnell doesn’t mind changing the rules of the Senate. That’s what the rules are for, him. Mitch told Republican Senators he plans to be bitchy and petulant next week if Nancy Pelosi lets him down. (Don’t let it be said Nancy doesn’t have a heart.) Lickspittle Lindsey Graham demands Nancy cut a few days off that.
Just in case Mitch deigns to follow a rule, what would the rules of Senate procedure and practice be for impeachment trials? Matt Gaetz steps out of line, for a second. Mike Lee is already back to the fold.
The Trump Administration uses redactions to hide what they don’t want you to see. Why, is there something wrong with that? James Inhofe understands the strategic importance of attacking cultural sites, as does the Commander in Chief.
Thu, 9 January 2020
Today, David Waldman is back behind the KITM microphone, joined by Greg Dworkin, microphone sans-sobriquet, for the ol’ Thursday catch-up:
Yesterday, Trump doteled up to a podium to dote more dotardly than any president in history (sniff). Winning! Unless, of course you are the kind that considers things more than 30 seconds into the future or past. Those people are called “terrorist lovers.” Tulsi Gabbard says, “Ayatollah what would happen”! The security briefing following that got even worse reviews, inspiring the usual Republican disarray.
Negative partisanship is a positive thing for Democrats. More than a billion dollars so far have gone to ActBlue to help solve all of this at the ballot box. Speaking of money, Mike Bloomberg is up there with Biden and Bernie polling ahead of Trump going into Michigan.
Ahead of that ballot box, Moscow Mitch is tired of being forced to wait so long to not exonerate his boss. Some Democrats aren’t sure what to think, ever. While we’re waiting, let’s take a look at Roger Stone’s FBI records. And, If John Bolton wants a subpoena now, the House has one they can fish out of the wastebasket. Steven Mnuchin doesn’t want you to hear how much Trump’s golf trips cost, it would just make you angry.
Wed, 8 January 2020
Seriously, what did you expect him to say, “mission accomplished”? Well...who knows what he “actually” said. Go ask his nurse. Then, ask your doctor if Adderall is right for you. Then get a second opinion.
David Waldman had things to do, so yesterday he donned his pipe and smoking jacket and recorded a special Kagro at Night for today’s presentation:
Iran appears to be standing down, Donald Trump appears to not be filling his Depends anymore. Donald can now return to talking big to his friends in the locker room. And, who knew this guy Soleimani was such a bad guy these last couple of decades? Tune into Fox to discover humanity’s next nemesis!
Also, a Ukrainian (!) airliner crashed in Iran (!) last night. Maybe it isn’t all about us... It is sad, though. Also sad, the earthquakes in Puerto Rico, which couldn’t have come at a worse time for Donald Trump as now he’s too busy to come up with a really biting tweet. And, there is something underhanded going on around Mar-a-Lago, which really isn’t awfully sad.
Can you believe it? Mitch (Moscow) McConnell is planning a partisan power play! Lindsey Graham is up to being lickspittle! What can stop them? Is it 51 or 67 votes? David reviews Senate procedures and the enduring and prescient correctness of KITM, and its listeners.
Tue, 7 January 2020
On today’s KITM, David Waldman welcomes Ian Reifowitz, professor of Historical Studies at S.U.N.Y.-Empire State College and author of The Tribalization of Politics: How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump (Copies are still available — makes a great Valentines Day gift!) Today’s topic: The rash of hate-based anti-Semitic violence being committed across the United States, but principally against Orthodox Jews in the New York/New Jersey metropolitan area. Some of these perpetrators are wrong in certain ways, some in other certain ways; one thing is certain: Republicans would love to turn Jews and Blacks, the two largest Democratic voting blocs, against each other. Ian calls for communities to come together to stand up against anti-semitism. Turns out, people are starting to do just that.
Donald Trump’s war on humanity continues. Trump’s preference for terror might seem “whimsical”, but remember, Donald is first and foremost an idiot, and that will color any decision-making process. Second, Trump sees “imminent threats” in terms of minutes and seconds, so any “course of action” development would bring us right back to Rule #1.
Mon, 6 January 2020
But his emails! If aides can’t privately talk about Donald Trump’s plans to bribe and extort for personal gain, what can they talk about?
War! Huh, yeah. What is it good for? Absolutely not Trump, because this is just the thing he’d lie about... which is all things, especially war. Of course, war could be a very shiny object for a media tired of so many dull scandals. At least this means the end of ISIS, uhm, as a story. Donald promises a few war crimes for those itching to pwn Jimmy Carter. Other than that, no, Trump hasn’t got much figured out past tee time.
To sum up: Trump heard that Iran never won a war, but never lost a negotiation, and knew he had absolutely no ability to negotiate, but did have a lot of bombs… Coincidentally, he did have a few failed negotiations in Iran that still needed to be cleaned up, so...
Fri, 3 January 2020
Well, it’s Act of War Friday here on the KITM show, I guess. Does “the president” know who he killed? Does anybody? Maybe, maybe not. We spend some time learning and wondering what might come next. Which is more than we can say for some preside… uh, people.
But we think we know this: Eric Trump probably didn’t actually know early.
Believe it or not, there was another important topic of the day! Unredacted copies of the e-mails between the Pentagon and the Office of Management and Budget reveal a fascinating drama. And some more crimes.
Thu, 2 January 2020
It could still be Castro 2020, but from now on the other half of the ticket.
Greg Dworkin rings in the new year with Skype chimes, Abby, and guest-dog Saki:
Impeachment is so 2019. Time to talk removal. Will Senators care about any oath they take? Will the Chief Justice? Does any Senator care what the impact they have on the future? Does the Chief Justice? Donald Trump wants Joe Biden to testify at his Senate trial. He said he wanted his chief of staff, secretary of state, national security adviser, and personal lawyer to testify too, and he was lying of course. Perhaps the media’s New Year resolution could be to quit being propagandists. Video of Joe Biden suggesting a white nationalist idea is deceptively edited? No, duh. That’s what 2020’s going to be all about for Trump pushers, just like it was in 2016. Think before sharing. Even the trolls will tell you that! Trump does paint his face orange, so there.
Wed, 1 January 2020
2020. A year so important, it will take us an extra day to get it just right... and yet we still aren’t quite done with 2019. David Waldman worked into the wee hours of the early afternoon, yesteryear—to assemble a new KITM for those of us up and eager to tackle a new day, a new year... a new decade! But… keep the volume down a bit, okay?
On Sunday we bombed some sites in Iraq and Syria, as we are wont to do. The U.S. embassy in Baghdad is now under siege. Things will get worse, but how much worse is in our Tiny Hands in Chief. Forty years ago, Jimmy Carter struggled with turmoil in the Middle East, but also with an American oligarchy pursuing private interest over public policy.
That was before oligarchies ran the presidency, when we had a legitimate president, one we didn’t have to pretend was a remotely honest, functioning, sane person. Now Rudy Colludy travels the world making deals, kinda for Donald Trump, mostly for himself. As Gop telemarketers and grifters flood the White House, Donald moves to soak his own grifters. So, what if we someday agree that Trump is illegitimate? Will the invalid judges and their judgements just fade away?
Probably not. Welcome 2020!