Fri, 29 November 2019
Join us for a trip back in time! (That's what we call a re-run!) It's our November 29, 2018 episode, and yet today is November 29, 2019. Get it?
David Waldman had plans. As usual, the plan was to catch us up on the very latest news before others even realize it is news. But, also as usual, Donald Trump’s chaos and corruption just can’t be contained so KITM will always need to deal with it. Today’s endoparasitoid exploding from Trump’s ultra-intelligent gut is Michael Cohen. As tonight’s pundits prepare to go back to the “Are Donald’s lies delusional or cynical?” debate, Democrats and Robert Mueller just add more to the pile.
Greg Dworkin brings us back to all of the old news that occurred during the 23 long hours since we last talked. The New York Times was caught moving the bar up for Nancy Pelosi’s nomination for speaker of the House as compared to Paul Ryan’s victory over their low expectations. North Carolina has divulged absentee ballot irregularities kept their 9th Congressional District election from being called. Old friend of the show, from before it was even a show, Marcy Wheeler reports that Paul Manafort’s nonstop lying will help Robert Mueller get around constitutional crisis causing playacting Attorney General Matt Whitaker. Trump also has that pesky witness tampering statute to deal with. The Trump-Manafort-Stone-Farage-Malloch-Corsi-Assange-Putin conspiracy/collusion/cooperation dots fall into place. Trump skips out of his employee review to straighten this all out, while tossing a few empty threats, empty promises and empty legislation out of his dotard bag of tricks.
Hey, take the next couple of hours to read about Trump cabinet member Alex Accosta’s sweetheart deal for serial sex abuser Jeffery Epstein. There will be a test tomorrow.
Thu, 28 November 2019
Happy Thanksgiving! David Waldman reports high above your town today riding in the KITM news-chopper. (As God as his witness, he thought tofurkys could fly.)
If he looks like a turkey, walks like a turkey, his tail is three times as big as his head, and his name’s Don Jr., well then, he’s triggered. Junior was chased away from his own book signing by a rafter of the far right. The right is torn between cosplaying Nazis, Klan, and other mewlings for respect and authority and are finally at each other’s throats. They are discovering that building a brand around being the biggest jerk attracts rough competition. They can’t even eat a pancake in the other’s presence. Some aren’t certain Michelle Malkin is either white or nationalist enough for them. Donald Trump could never be white nationalist enough for them. Even Stephen Miller better watch his back.
The rich and powerful seem to have about the same percentage of gullible idiots as the rest of us; they just have more money and get punished less. Adam Neumann aspired to be Saudi Arabia’s millennial Rasputin with the help of the judgement and wisdom of Jared Kushner.
Wed, 27 November 2019
Almost the holiday, and people seem to be getting sleepy already, even before eating. We all know what Donald Trump is serving up for Thanksgiving, but let’s find out what David Waldman’s got cooking in the KITM kitchen:
Indiana would just kill to get Amazon’s headquarters in their state. Tucker Carlson pledges allegiance to Russia—he jokes! Seriously, why take him seriously, ever? He’s only wants to make you laugh! Eddie Gallagher says he’ll kill snitches! LOL! More light-hearted politics: Jim Jordan’s jacket would rather not be connected to bigoted, conspiratorial, unethical, contemptible, ruthless, dastardly, bootlicking, McCarthyesque, liar Gym Jordan.
Greg Dworkin has the polls and bad (for Trump) news. Support for (removing) Trump is at an all-time high. Joe keeps the Bidmentum, while Warren falls as almost everybody’s Lefty target. Some will make any excuse to vote Trump, although he just might lose a few eventually.
Joan McCarter says if we want to do impeachment right, we need to slow it up. Things are quite slow this week around DC, so Joan goes international: Trump is out to destroy UK healthcare in order to help destroy ours. Donald’s “search for corruption” moves to Lebanon, where it can be even more dangerous.
New Trump Tower tax and loan documents show significant, and totally expected, inconsistencies.
Mike Bloomberg, long time Republican supporter, natural Warren predator, wants to be a “Democratic” president. Mike Bloomberg’s presidential pollster lightens his plutocrat clientele now that Mike’s in the limelight. Meanwhile, Clinton strategist Mark Penn finds a paycheck counseling Trump on Impeachment avoidance.
Tue, 26 November 2019
Yum! But don’t wander off yet! KITM still has a lot to serve up, and today is no exception as David Waldman stuffs that butterball of truth.
Also bringing a dish: Longtime listener, first time contributor Ellen Beberman reports from New York's 21st congressional district and gives her opinion of representative Elise Stefanik.
Hundreds of documents show the White House in a confused panic, attempting to justify Trump’s Ukraine call and blocking of aid. Acting White House chief of staff Mick Mulvaney and acting Office of Management and Budget director Russell Vought always act that way, it seems.
The Rudy Colludy gang are picking up subpoenas. Lev Parnas promises to be a great stooly, but so far has only sung a few notes. Don McGahn was under the impression that Donald Trump was king; a federal judge disagrees. Turns out, another goon in the gang, Bud Cummins was a goon in previous gangs as well.
Mon, 25 November 2019
Thanksgiving week—a week set to be both “slow” and “quick.” But don’t worry, it won’t be one without David Waldman and KITM:
Greg Dworkin calls in to talk about the merits and the politics of impeachment. Don’t buy the conventional wisdom on impeachment. Republicans can only continue forward if they deny reality, which as it happens many are experts at.
Lev Parnas hands over audio, and video recordings to the House Intelligence committee of Parnas with Trump and Rudy Giuliani, maybe nude, and probably with Devin Nunes. The Rudy Colludy gang had regular meetings and Devin would show up when he had a chance and a wad of taxpayer cash to blow. Nancy Pelosi called for Nunes removal last year, but can she just do it herself now? Meanwhile, the rats belly up to the rat buffet as it is found that the White House looked for legal justification after Trump froze aid to the Ukraine.
David digs into what Rudy saw in Lev and Igor in the first place. The head of Ukraine’s Naftogaz tells prosecutors about the times Rudy’s gang tried to recruit him, how he threw them out, and how they paid him back. Remember that secret 2016 conversation that exposed just how much Russia and Ukraine were on Republican minds? There was a reason for that. Russian tool John Solomon might finally get some attention, and some questions.
Fri, 22 November 2019
It’s Friday, it’s the weekend, and you know what that means! Nothing! Except David Waldman refuses to power up the mighty KITM transmitters atop Kagro Mountain on the weekends. So, he packed today’s show with plenty to tide us over:
Fiona Hill and David Holmes delivered the message America needs to hear. Marie Yovanovitch and Lt. Col Vindman showed us what bravery and patriotism are all about. So, we’re done now? Trump’s still standing, so he wins right? That is the angle he is going for, the one he has always gone for, and the one the Republicans seem to be going for. Donald Trump called in to Fox to talk to his hired friends and well, that’s what the word is.
Trump notes that if Marie Yovanovitch was an angel she would have built a Trump shrine in 2016. Is anything Trump says ever true? Why should it be? Lying also works when one hasn’t omitted enough truth. The impeachment inquiry didn’t obliterate the CrowdStrike story, so that’s the one Donald’s going with this week. Maybe the House should have subpoenaed, indicted and impeached everyone that deserved it when they deserved it instead of waiting until it looked and felt good.
You know what another biggest mistake in the impeachment hearings was? Not making it clear that the Trump’s main objective has been to shift blame from Vladimir Putin to Hillary Clinton. For the last two weeks Republicans have pushed the idea that Ukraine framed Russia for 2016. This was the opposite of what they said in 2016, remember when they said that? Remember? Maybe we need to review the Mueller hearings, then.
Out in the real world, real world courts wait to welcome Donald back to civilian life. Long time Trump employee Allen Weisselberg might need to receive his gold watch in the pen. Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman from the Rudy Colludy gang are subpoenaed. War crimer Edward Gallagher is “welcomed back” to the Navy SEALs.
Thu, 21 November 2019
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin (and Abby) join forces one more time this week to help us figure this whole thing out:
First up, who won the Democratic debate last night? We know they all have their little gaffes, but they all remain winners in our eyes, mostly. (and statistically, whoever our choice is won’t get the nomination and we do need to win this.)
On to the impeachment hearings. Yesterday, Gordon Sondland threw the entire bus under the bus, which is easy when everybody’s on the same crime syndicate bus loop. Today’s alibi: Everyone was following Trump’s orders, which he also somehow did not give. Tomorrow’s alibi: Trump has the right to hold up legally-approved aid, and of course, that isn’t what he did.
As for the good guys, Adam Schiff came up with an excellent strategy to make Devin Nunes the face of the Gop defense. Still, Democrats might need to step it up, as Donald Trump presently is only inconsistently unhappy. (A couple more Jay Leno sets should wipe that smile off.) For some reason, Vladimir Putin is always quite consistently happy.
Hiyo! Lev Parnas’ lawyer gives Devin Nunes another thing to have a cow about. Donald somehow kept a straight face as he sent Lev and Devin on a secret mission to undermine Robert Mueller’s probe into Russian election-meddling. The Rudy Colludy Gang’s attempt to hijack Ukraine’s natural gas should prove to be the first of several 'layers' of corruption uncovered.
Wed, 20 November 2019
There’s a lot going on today, and we have a lot to tell you. Good thing that most of you have multiple eyes and/or ears, or this would take forever:
But her emails! Except, it’s Nikki Haley, she’s Republican, and it would have been inconvenient to follow the rules at that time, so…
Guards were just picking out something nice for Jeffrey Epstein’s Christmas present, but then…
Even Abby was too busy to visit, but Greg Dworkin carved out a few minutes to explain how emotional and fact-based testimony hurts the White House:
Breaking news: Mike was in on it. Also old news: Mike was always in on it. (You might want to turn your head as the rats begin to eat each other.) Gordon Sondland’s testimony targets Trump, Pompeo and confirms the deal with Ukraine. Federal prosecutors in New York investigating the Rudy Colludy gang want to talk to Burisma’s competitors in Ukraine.
House investigators want the Mueller grand jury materials, and kind of also would like to know if Trump was lying to him.
Polls say that most Americans say the impeachment hearings won't change their minds... of course, most Americans believe Trump committed an impeachable offense, and therefore there aren’t many minds that need to be changed.
Tue, 19 November 2019
Brief Twitter obsessions from the past 24 hours centered chiefly on lies originating with or disseminated by Stephanie Grisham. First, that Trump’s doctor has sent a note excusing him from being ridiculed for his “perfecto” health. And second, that Obama staffers moving out of the White House in 2017 were really, really mean to Trump staffers. In writing. Which seems unlikely. And like we’ve heard it before.
With public impeachment hearings back underway, though, the real business of the day for us was using the occasion of Kurt Volkmer’s impending testimony as a launching pad for an expansive political science lesson. The continuing Republican obsession with the “whistleblower” isn’t ridiculous just because there’s better and more direct evidence available from other witnesses. It’s pointless, because Trump’s Ukraine scheme was doomed from the start by that other, unsung hero that unravels almost every government plot: procedure. Illustrating the point: the story of two obscure Congressional staffers who went to Ukraine to check up on things—because that’s what they do—and discovered Trump’s plot. Because that’s how obvious it was. All you had to do to see that there was something wrong was go to Ukraine and ask how things were going.
Mon, 18 November 2019
Donald Trump is dead. Want another opinion on that? Ok, Donald Trump is dead again. What lengths would Donald go to, to get out of responsibility? And, that isn’t the worst thing to happen to him last week. Trump lost two of three gubernatorial elections in Southern red states, with the latest in Louisiana. This week, Trump will just wish he were dead.
70% of Americans say Trump’s actions tied to Ukraine were wrong, and more and more of those Americans are Republican, so Donald and the Trumpers take the scam on the road to attempt to create a firewall. The Republicans are in disarray on Ukraine, on Marie Yovanovitch and soon on the military, and Marie Yovanovitch might be the last time riding and dying with Donald Trump manages to carry any moral weight with anyone.
Lt. Col. Alexander S. Vindman wanted to have a correct transcript of Trump’s Ukraine call, but so far we haven’t actually seen any transcript, reconstructed, doctored or otherwise. The “new” first conversation with the Ukraine President wasn’t “new” or even the “conversation” they had, but kind of the one his staff hoped Trump would have. The effort put into searching for a G7 site turned out to be lies with Doral a ringer thrown in at the last moment.
Mike Pompeo can’t lie enough to please Trump, while Pence aide Jennifer Williams finds she can’t lie anymore. Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham wonders why people don’t take note of those plenty of times she told the truth. Kurt Volker made plenty of truthful testimony to Congress, just not in comparison to other witnesses. It turns out that Adam Schiff is picky about those things.
Fri, 15 November 2019
Want pizzazz? Look, rest assured that David Waldman would cover “Agent Penis” if clicks were the only issue, but they’re not. Richard Nixon is finally going to jail, and from the looks of it Tricky Dick is hot on his heels, so there’s plenty of pizzazz out there today, if that’s what you’re looking for, but you come to KITM to get the story behind the pizzazz, the “pizzazz plus” if you will:
So, maybe Kyiv doesn’t rhyme with “Steve”, maybe it rhymes with “Styeve”... Anyhow, a second U.S. Embassy staffer is stepping up to say they witnessed Trump and Gordon Sondland’s very loud restaurant conversation over there.
In Saud-owned Arabia, the government is the leading Twitter user. Whoever’s in second place is in a lot of trouble.
A federal appeals court order allows Congress to seek eight years of Trump’s tax records. The Supreme Court could hear the case, pass on hearing the case, or as David reminds us, could declare whatever 5 of them wanted to.
Lev Parnas, whom Trump hardly knows, discussed Ukraine with Trump personally. Parnas had Trump straws, cell phones and lots of cash when the FBI picked him up. One of Parnas’ earlier suckers wants his money back.
Thu, 14 November 2019
Pizzazz! That’s what was missing from yesterday’s first public impeachment hearing. Ok, boomers in their day got by on a tiny bit less zing, but today’s “now” generation demands that moxie. David Waldman spoils us with another razzle-dazzle filled KITM:
Abby the Doorbell called in to review yesterday’s hearings, but as usual left the door ajar so Greg Dworkin ended up getting in and drowning her out:
Republicans did try to steer away from tedious facts, but one look at George Kent could tell you he wasn’t going there, and neither did the Democrats. The zestiest testimony was of William Taylor Jr, talking about Gordon Sondland’s call to Donald Trump from a restaurant in Kiev (which rhymes with “Steve”, and therefore is now spelled “Kyiv”). (Everyone in the restaurant, Kyiv, Ukraine, and Moscow listened in.)
By the way, Boris Johnson blocked a report about his big Russian donors.
Other than being caught and going to federal prison, probably Roger Stone’s greatest regret is missing out on rat f’ing the Ukraine investigation.
The State Department punished one of their employees because they thought she was born in Iran. George Bush got to send “enemy combatants” to Gitmo so why can’t Trump… even if they are migrant children enemies of Trump’s?
Wed, 13 November 2019
We understand you could be watching the Impeachment hearings right at this moment, and we know you have many podcast choices available to you, so on behalf of the crew and capt. David Waldman, thank you for flying KITM:
Today, Donald Trump will hang with Turkey’s President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan. (Well, not literally. Maybe someday.) Who knows what they’ll be talking about. Really, who knows… what language do they even speak? Trump is developing into a moran, and a moron, and a maroon. However, Ivanka exceeds the five-year plan goals, by creating 14 million jobs... for China maybe.
What? Stephen Miller is a white nationalist? So, Ilhan Omar, and just about everyone in the world picked up on the subtle clues, huh? OK, then. That, and he wrote it out in emails. Next you’ll tell me he’s really bald. Unlike his hair, Miller’s not leaving soon. He’s the brains and soulless-soul of this White House. The South might still rise again.
Greg Dworkin asks Donald how’s that chaos working for him now? The cage is getting a little tight for Trump’s White House rats, and is getting tighter by the minute as voters watch the hearings, and Roger Stone’s trial. As Donald remains infallible, only his supporters can let him down. Lindsey Graham begs us to look away.
Is anyone paying attention in the White House? Does anyone there care about what is happening anymore? Mina Chang made it into the senior levels of the Trump administration on an almost completely fictional résumé including yet another fake Time magazine cover, and who cared?
Up and coming resume-padding jet-setting, gun-porning, pseudo-evangelical, Maria Butina-level dot-connector, serial entrepreneur Christianné L Allen is home schooling and flying to California and "interning" in New York and starting a marijuana business and reality TV show in Nevada and is la porte-parole for Rudy Giuliani… Did she stun’em at Scaramucci’s Hunt & Fish Club?
Tue, 12 November 2019
David Waldman presents KITM’s Carefully Curated Content Tuesday:
David gives an A for effort to the surprisingly plausible, highly improbable paths people find to remove Donald Trump from office. One might work someday! If Trump ever leaves the Presidency, New York courts could be a problem. For the moment, however, Donald continues to fight corruption around the world. No one wants to help him, but he’ll make do, and his friends will make money, Russia will thrive, and if you don’t love it, leave it.
Rudy Giuliani’s buttocks, endowed with his greatest share of technical aptitude, attempted to transmit an internet password to a journalist, which ended up revealing another member of the Colludy Clan—Charles Gucciardo, along with the multi-talented jet-setting, gun-porning, pseudo-evangelical, Butina-level dot-connector, Christianné L Allen.
Mon, 11 November 2019
For quite some time now, Greg Dworkin has been chanting “Build the wall! And... my patio!” at a not-so-secret, or even remotely quiet society of masons. The whole gang skyped in today to help count down those moments before the impeachment public hearings are gaveled in.
When Presidential Apprentice goes primetime on Wednesday, they need to remember their audience. Republicans will bring the conspiracy theories, the witch hunts, and the stupid, but that isn’t what most people will be tuning in for. It’s up to the hearings to answer the questions the public wants answered. Trump would rather have a parade.
Republicans in disarray™: Peter King figures now is as good as time as any to hop ship and swim for shore. Chuck Schumer will miss his BFF. The remaining rats start to eye each other. It’s Mick Mulvaney vs. the Bolton faction, the suburban vs. the rural base. The Democrats are okay with this.
We told you those Giuliani boys were up to no good. The Colludy Clan keeps adding members. Igor Fruman and Lev Parnas, then David Correia, and Charles Gucciardo, and now, connecting all of them and more: Christianné L Allen!
Fri, 8 November 2019
On your way to West Coast Cookbook & Speakeasy, but want to nosh on something tasty first? David Waldman wheels out the Friday KITM Smörgåsbord. (Pass on that giant assortment of conspiracy theories Republicans swallow every day.)
A Fox reporter cherry-picks three words to write an entire article. Byron York smells nothing wrong here. Three other words, “Quid pro quo”, were fun words to say last week, but note that extortion and bribery are exactly what’s going on here.
Lev Parnas and David Correia, arrested for campaign-finance law violations, missed their chance to produce Fraud Guarantee infomercials starring pal/employee/boss/coconspirator Rudy Colludy Guliani. Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman got assistance from/screwed a major Trump ally in their attempt to escape the Feds.
As for the impeachment inquiry, John (not Michael) Bolton is putting up a bit more of a fight than expected. The House pulled their subpoena for Bolton’s aid Charles Kupperman, maybe to avoid the Republican rope-a-dope. The judge on the case, Richard Leon, isn’t in the same hurry. Fiona (not Apple) Hill’s deposition is now public and will be the talk of the weekend. William (not Roseanne) Barr might have to pick between Trump and going to hell. (Roseanne’s already there.)
Women were the first Trump whistleblowers. The equal rights amendment is within reach. The blue wave is rising into 2020. On the other hand, a quarter of all federal appellate judges have been appointed by Trump in his efforts to pave the way for a Christian Genius Billionaire dynasty.
Thu, 7 November 2019
Can you keep a secret?
Donald is out purporting again. Now he says he almost saved Matt Bevin in Kentucky… or maybe he saved Kentucky from Matt Bevin? Whatever you’ll buy is whatever he’s selling. Kentucky Republicans would try to steal the election even if Andy Beshear had a 30 point lead. Juli Briskman credits the entire Trump administration for electing her. Libertarians came for the tears.
Donald Trump told William Barr to go on TV and tell people he was innocent. Barr wouldn’t and Trump is furious that you’d ever accuse him of doing that. Trump’s next move is to tell William Barr to proclaim he was innocent of that... whatever “that” is.
Democrats hurry the Impeachment process along, but where are they in a hurry to get to? Now that public hearings are heading this way, what will this next phase look like for Democrats? What about Republicans?
The Obama administration was having some pretty cool “PC” meetings about... process control… provisional chairs? petty cash? Oh... “principals committee”!
Wed, 6 November 2019
Grab your second wind listening to today’s KITM, with our Wednesday crew, David Waldman, Greg Dworkin, and Joan McCarter:
Greg rounds up all of the Gop losses at the polls. You’d think all of this embarrassment would slow down Donald Trump a bit, but remember, Trump just gets worse. That’s ok, because when he does, we just get more motivated. The Middle Suburb counties in places like Michigan, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin are flipping away from Trump. Already, Andy Beshear’s election has turned around some of Trump’s Medicare sabotage. Who knows how we’ll ever recover from Donald’s and Moscow Mitch’s judicial infestation, though.
Oh, also yesterday, Gordon Sondland produced the smoking quid pro quo. On cue, Lindsey Graham bulls-eyed his fainting couch and Don Jr. pulled the fire alarm. Soon, the public will hear from more patriots, and more judges, maybe even Supreme Court judges, if they want to really dirty their robes. Next up: Kurt Volker, who has some explaining, and maybe some re-explaining to do. If you are Republican, you really don’t have to explain anything.
Bomb techs are getting tired of disarming bombs underneath rich asses.
Tue, 5 November 2019
Mon, 4 November 2019
Greg Dworkin reports winning spin wars are easier for those spinning the least. Trump makes his long-awaited pivot from “no quid pro quo!”, to “quid pro quo, so?”… to making it #1 on his list of accomplishments. Can’t he see that this makes him look like a lying, hypocritical, moronic criminal? Wait… Can’t he see? Maybe Trump is only able to see conspiracies and his own bad faith projections anymore. Newly revealed Mueller memos show the Ukraine fiasco was all about Russia. It is all, all about Russia. What was Jared Kushner whispering to Mohammad bin Salman from inside his pocket? Iran is caught violating the agreement we reneged on. Intimidation, obstruction and hypocrisy do march on, but so does the rule of law.
Greg reminds us that polls are our friend... our annoying geeky friend. Presently, Biden leads Trump by a little in battleground states, Warren trails Trump by a little, and thus the “electability” argument in a nutshell. Beto couldn’t find enough of the the middle, Biden might have found enough, but the middle keeps moving as voters begin to understand the candidates. Meanwhile, Gop Senators are forced to play defense.
Fri, 1 November 2019
David Waldman is on the road again, going places he’s never been, seeing things that he may never see again, etc. Don’t worry! He recorded a KITM for today. In fact, he recorded it before yesterday’s show and throughout that show was dying to tell us about this show because it was so cool:
Hey, remember the million times David warned you not to believe what the Donald Trump White House purports until such purportation produces paperwork? How about the several times David warned you that no proof exists that the Ukraine money promised to Ukraine was ever paid? Well, here’s proof that your tax dollars had to work extra hard to get into Ukrainian hands.
It looks like the FBI has a lot on Brett Kavanaugh that they could’ve told you, but that pathetic SOB cried so much the last time, they just didn’t have the heart. Congress might delay spending talks until… things are less partisan.