Thu, 31 December 2020
David Waldman rings out the old year today, but don’t expect any ringing in of the new until Monday’s KITM:
Mike Pence cancelled his trip to Israel and Donald Trump cancelled his appearance at Mar-a-Lago’s New Year’s Eve party. Some people have a bad feeling about this. It’s probably not good news, but it might not be bad news. After all, early and youth voting in Georgia is freaking out Trump and the Gop, and that’s good. There’s also the chance that Donald doesn’t really know or care who Ossoff and Warnock are. So, maybe Trump is returning to see what he can do to get $2000 to people in need… Yeah, we know that he came back to plot with fellow dimwit grifters and double-dealing sycophants on one last big heist while they still can.
Ok, the COVID-19 pandemic took us a little off guard, but then everyone understood for at least 9 months the need for a fast, coordinated rollout so… WTF? Greg Dworkin, who developed strategies a decade or so ago, rounds up the screw ups. The system is showing plenty of weak links, along with the problem of people cutting in line, while scores at the head are now refusing to take the shot. Any solution that keeps the line moving might be the best solution. Also, a temperature snag delayed vaccine shipments to Texas, just as a Wisconsin hospital employee deliberately removed almost 600 doses from refrigeration.
Ian Reifowitz calls in during the last half hour (Make a resolution to pick up a copy of Ian’s “The Tribalization of Politics: How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump”) to discuss all of the above topics and events, and to describe where Donald Trump and the Republican party would be be without their history of race and class resentment. (They would be where there weren’t any votes, for sure.)
Wed, 30 December 2020
Armando’s in the house! Virtually — and Greg Dworkin, and of course, David Waldman, so you’d expect a process and umbrage filled KITM. Not so much umbrage as you might expect, though. Of course, Donald Trump has earned every bit of disdain he’s received, and then some. It’s just that Donald and the 2020 nightmares are ending and COVID help is coming. What can Trump do now, other than get a few people, or a few thousand, or a few million, killed?
Almost Louisiana Congressman Luke Letlow felt masks were optional. So is COVID, for that matter. Healthy people are dying when their own antibodies respond to COVID by killing them. If the goal is to reach 80% of Americans vaccinated, we aren’t getting there with this administration. Elderly in Florida are given one more big chance to die from COVID while in line for the vaccine.
Onto process! Which, as KITM listeners know better than anyone else, is the way this whole thing will get fixed… or destroyed. Mitch McConnell is poison-pilling survival checks going into New Years. That’s ok by Trump, he likes poisoning more than paying. Bernie Sanders and Nancy Pelosi are prepared to spend the holiday prying the additions and a few Republicans off the bill.
Trump is filing a petition to the Supreme Court on Wisconsin now. Even judges are trolling the Kraken strike force. Few surprises there… well, maybe a few, but those will be later. The next big show is on January 6, when the seditious circus rolls into town. Mike Pence probably won’t go Manchurian for Louie Gohmert after all. MIke was planning to bug out on the 7th to the middle east where it’s safe, but even that plan is in doubt.
You have less than a week to study up on the electoral college certification process! Not that anything will come from these shenanigans, mind you, but if you want to follow half of what will be said on this show the next few days, it’s a must.
Tue, 29 December 2020
It’s Two Topic Tuesday on KITM! The glimmer of civilization today in the form of $2000 survival checks, and our subsequent collapse into barbarism 8 days later. David Waldman brings on Joan McCarter, busy the last few days installing a new house inside of her old house, for discussion and analysis:
Thank you, Donald Trump! Donald self-served America right into Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’ hands. Even Kelly Loeffler and David Perdue are beginning to feel the Bern! Mitch McConnell is now on the hot seat after the House passes its $2000 direct COVID-19 payments bill. Mitch didn’t listen the first 9000 times or so, but Democrats might have his attention today. (No, I guess not. Dems will keep on knocking)
Republicans, now fans of socialism, hope to check out communism next week. Louie Gohmert believes it’s time for Mike Pence to play a little solitaire, but will the red queen come through for the Red revolution? Arizona bolshevists tried to deliver forged votes, assisted by fellow-travelling apparatchiks. Luckily, security measures were in place and held. We now know their exact plan of attack, but that doesn’t mean they’re not out there, still scheming.
Oh, and one more thing, lest we forget. We are still dying by the thousands, each and every day, from COVID-19. Donald Trump’s Operation Warp Speed choked like a dog, and is guaranteed by design to continue to fail.
Mon, 28 December 2020
David Waldman returns from his long St. Stephen’s Day weekend, wrenned out but raring to go into our dramatic denouement of The Presidential Apprentice! Will it be an end to an era? Well, there were plenty of transparently corrupt megalomaniacs before Donald Trump showed up, and there will be plenty of self-serving dim-wits after he’s gone, yet probably no one will be able to lose so ungracefully and so often, again and again.
Trump’s art of the deal remains the same: He demands whatever comes to mind, takes what he can get, says the fix is in, and then declares victory. Donald is always simple. It’s the responses that have to be complex. Even suspension of the rules have a lot of rules to follow.
Last week, Donald stopped golfing to lose on COVID-19 relief, the omnibus spending bill and the defense policy bill, and yesterday he interrupted his golf game to lose them again, and again. You’d think Donald and his followers would be sick of losing by now, but unfortunately that’s just not the case. Trump will golf while America burns. Greg Dworkin joins us to discuss how we could survive the next few weeks, and thrive into the future.
Donald Trump is responsible for the death of 1 out of every 1000 Americans from COVID-19, and that’s just the start. The good news is that antibody therapies could help many, and that less people are fearing the vaccines. COVID-19 will keep bringing chaos to Washington.
Fri, 25 December 2020
It's a Wonderful Rerun!
Enjoy our Boxing Day 2019 extravaganza!
Whether you are post, pre, or peri holiday, enjoy it informed with David Waldman on today’s KITM:
Greg Dworkin rounds up the polls and punditry of recent Christmas past:
The more people understand the impeachment process, the more they would like to apply it to Donald Trump. As the election approaches, voters are still figuring out what needs to be done. Of course Republicans would prefer they went in the other direction, any other direction, or even no direction, at this point they don’t care. You fact checking them makes you part of the joke. Christians take a break from the heads of pins to divide over pinheads. Trump supporters aren’t racists, but… they absolutely are. The fight over the 1619 Project shows that we are far from where we pretend to be on race.
It did take a while, but Chuck Todd has begun to notice some dissembling by Trump mouthpieces. Is Chuck just plain stupid, or strategically stupid? How did someone like Chuck Todd even get here? David knows, and reveals Todd’s early days and The Hotline ethos. We are deep in an epistemic crisis and need to claw back to reality.
Thu, 24 December 2020
David Waldman, opens today’s KITM yawning like the MGM lion, waking us up for Christmas eve:
Donald Trump keeps handing out pardons like moist candy canes to anyone that met him under the mistletoe over the last few years. Donald pardoned Jesse Benton as a gift to his employers, Ron Paul and Mitch McConnell and the uncle of Benton's wife, Rand Paul… (Jesse will probably be Matt Gaetz’ son by the end of the day.) Trump pardoned a former Maryland police officer whose heart he knew was in the right place. (They need to be arrested faster than Trump can pardon them.) Merry Christmas! Trump’s Blackwater pardons aren’t bringing much cheer to their victim’s families, however. There’s bound to be more today, but Dad’s saving the nicest ones for under the tree in Mar-a-Lago.
Greg Dworkin reminds us that actually, Donald Trump doesn’t give gifts to anyone but himself. If he can take someone else’s gift, it’s even better. Merry F***ing Christmas to everyone in Congress with the Gop at each other’s throats and Democrats trying to pull $2000 checks out of the fireplace. It seems that Trump might be a little over his head still on how government works, or how reality works for that matter. Kelly Loeffler, too. Two Republican House members voted by proxy — while simultaneously suing to ban the use of proxy voting .
Ron DeSantis figures, why appoint experts when he can be the guy that says expert things? Rep.-elect Luke Letlow checked himself into the hospital for no particular reason, and is now thinking about checking out the ICU for the holidays. People who are immunocompromised or otherwise allow coronavirus to hang around for while might encourage unfortunate mutations.
Did Bill Barr arrest Lev Parnas to keep him from testifying against Donald Trump? Did a Democratic House candidate lose by 6 votes after 22 votes were improperly excluded in Iowa? Did the Kansas City Star misreport on Black Kansas Citians for generations? Yes.
Wed, 23 December 2020
David Waldman always throws the best Festivus, and today’s KITM might be the most festive ever. Think of all the grievances to air! As usual, Greg Dworkin brings on his feats of strength, and along with the pandemic and Trump guarantees a bottomless Festivus for all of us:
People forget, but Donald Trump is the GREATEST RINO, of ALL TIME. Republicans have strived to disremember that for years, but yesterday, Donald made certain to ring their bell, but good. Republicans spent hundreds of days pinching coronavirus relief down to 600 bucks, however Trump would rather it was up at AOC levels, maybe even a bit more if Nancy Pelosi gives him any guff about it.
All we need are a few more RINOs, or maybe some real Rs, to get this relief bill out. A motion to suspend the Rules could do the trick, but that would need to be done now, and how often does that happen? Unanimous consent would work, but there’s always some troublemaker.
RINOs might as well come out of hiding, because the shakeout’s coming soon. Trump’s staff can’t lie to themselves forever, now that Bill Barr is gone, and really, there is only so much a pardon can do for them. The Trump state might think someone is looking out for them, but on the other hand, it could be Iranian agents. Mark Meadows went to Georgia to twist some arms, but found only cold shoulders.
Wow, does the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts suck now, or what? Who knows what someone will need to do to get a grant nowadays… perhaps new board member, and Donald pal, Melania pal, Ghislaine Maxwell pal, and former Jeffrey Epstein pal, Paolo Zampolli would have an idea or two.
Tue, 22 December 2020
We’re still sponging down the scorched wallpaper here at KITM World Headquarters following Greg Dworkin’s F-arama yesterday, even as David Waldman wants to autotune the year’s profanity into “Christmas carols”... That’s sure to get us at least a mention on maybe three Fox shows and might even resurrect Bill O’Reilly’s career!
Meanwhile, Donald Trump hopes to make the next 30 days an amalgamation of the Alamo and Custer’s Last Stand, except with no hope, nor honor, and everyone is sacrificed to save him. Of course, some recall the negative effect this had on Davy Crockett’s congressional career, and will take a step back as the strike force is mowed down like a Trump dog. Geraldo and Pat Robertson already donned their bonnets and shawls and exited out the back, while Jared Kushner and Mike Pence discovered they have very important business far away from the parapets. William Barr says there’s no basis for seizing voting machines, using special counsels, or for him sticking around anymore. Sebastian Gorka would rather talk about how it feels to lose, rather than, you know... On the ground, cosplay militias don’t really care who they’re fighting, or why, but they’ve all been waiting for this moment, whatever it is.
South Carolina’s first lady tested positive for coronavirus after a White House Christmas party, and what do you know, so did the Governor. Also, hundreds of thousands of others... and a few thousand died last night.
Joan McCarter popped in for her pre-holiday visit, to tell us all who is naughty and nice in DC.
Rand Paul’s insufferability will outlast any pandemic. After the apocalypse, the remaining cockroaches will despise him. Then there’s Mitch McConnell. Mitch didn’t get his Christmas gift to corporations, but he was able to hurt their workers before the holidays. Hey, but 600 bucks isn’t nothing! Ok, it almost is, but the savings on 3 martini lunches sure will add up.
If Donald pardons himself, will he be rubber or glue? Joe might find out.
Mon, 21 December 2020
Believe it or not, today is the darkest day of 2020… or longest, depending on your perspective. Volcanoes erupt! Meteors fall! Giant planets conjunct! And, Greg Dworkin cusses like a !&?@#!#%&! in today’s opening discussion with David Waldman! Greg has a point. Republicans are F***ers, f***ing the nation and…
E.g., Donald Trump. Covid vaccines and Russian hacks mean nothing to that fuck. The New York Times style guide apparently needs to be revised to add the F word, “military coup”, “installing seditious agents”, “fomenting insurrection”, ”trafficking stolen property”, etc. As the Germans say — “WUT”?
Trump and Trumpists continue to fight to hold their criminal organization. Getting rid of Trump won’t get rid of Trumpism. A Republican with a conscience is primaried to the right. A Democrat with a conscience… is primaried to the right. Republicans prefer their trolley car exercises not be televised for this reason. Of course, some people have a crazy thing for very bad boys. Those people will miss their statue of Robert E. Lee, removed from the Capitol this morning. That statue will be updated with one of American civil rights leader-pioneer Barbara Johns, who wasn’t bad or a boy. Virginia will continue to pull down racist commemorations, even in the face of confederate parroting.
Churches can help stop COVID-19 rather than spread it. African-Americans don’t trust vaccines for a reason, and churches can help reach out. Of course, the coronavirus is mutating, it wouldn’t be 2020 without that.
Fri, 18 December 2020
David Waldman delivers the Friday KITM on time, every time, pretty much:
When will this election be over? Oh, that’s right, the election was over November 3rd, December 8th, December 14th and dozens of dates in between... It’ll be over on December 23rd, the deadline for certificates of the states’ electoral votes to be received, and January 6th, when the votes are counted by Congress, and every day to Inauguration day and every day until November 5th, 2024.
Meanwhile... Kayleigh Mcenany jockeys for alternative employment at a place she can report alternative facts. Pennsylvania congressmen sacrifice their positions and their state to keep their Trump troll alive. Trump lawyers ask that Wisconsin be lopped off as well. Arkansas Republicans will wait to see if Arkansas is still around on January 20th before making a decision. Tommy Tuberville is too new to have picked up much of that “Trump sienna” shade to his nose, and knows this might be his last chance. Arizona cosplay electors are trying to pass forged electoral ballots because, why not? David explains the why not, and also the what next.
Like “trickle down” economics, no one even pretends to believe this is real unless they’re part of the grift. That’s why people like failed traffic court lawyer Jenna Ellis became Trump’s lead attorney. Even Donald Trump isn’t stupid enough to believe it. The last thing of value Trump has to hock are pardons, and after that... who needs him?
Well, there is market for nuclear secrets, for sure. It would be just like Donald to sell the lot at fire sale prices, or even less, wouldn’t it? Without Trump or anonymous shell companies, where can international villains make their investments? The Pentagon shuts off Biden transition briefings, just in case. (We are only a few weeks from Trump aids pooping in desk drawers.)
Instead of wall sconces and copper wiring, some Republicans, such as Interior Secretary David Bernhardt are leaving with a load of coronavirus. Alabama Congressman Mike Rogers also did his part for herd immunity. Hey — how about a national inoculation celebration day?
Thu, 17 December 2020
A Nor'easter blasted, strangely enough, the Northeast last night. Greg Dworkin’s forest friends worked around the clock but couldn’t dig him out before showtime. Lucky for us, David Waldman pretty much lives at KITM World Headquarters and was able to pull a solo shift:
Where’s that Rose Garden executive gibbet? Of course, we still have a month — or so — to put things right for future historians. 300,000+ American deaths, 3000+ per day don’t seem sufficient to move the public to action. It was plenty enough for the Trump administration to obfuscate and suppress information, however. Mentally ill Michael Caputo’s sociopathic sidekick, Paul Alexander plotted to infect infants, kids and teens, until he killed just enough people to open local bars. “Freedom Flu”, as it would have been called had Emmanuel Macron not caught it, wasn’t considered that big a deal 6 months ago by conservatives… at least non-investors.
The latest conservative non-urgency is Russia’s recent declaration of war on the United States. Arson might be good strategy for covering up crimes. Former House Foreign Affairs director Paul Behrends didn’t quite dodge all of the falling pianos and anvils one night. Donald Trump barely got the unscalable walls erected around the White House before waves of pardon seekers began their siege. Pamela Anderson adds a Julian Assange verse to her Trump rendition of “Santa Baby”.
A lot fell apart during the Trump administration, but there is one thing the Republicans hope to raise higher than anyone ever could imagine… “The Bar” Democrats better mind their Ps and Qs and Fs in our hallowed halls of government!
Wed, 16 December 2020
David Waldman wrestled his Christmas tree to get to the KITM(™?) microphone — and won! — for a crazy start to a not so crazy show. Greg Dworkin says that whether you believe in sanity this time of the year or not, these holidays are becoming happier, saner and more cheerfully, boringly, Trump-free each day.
Donald is still out there, but he’s mostly Republican’s problem now. The news can, and should, turn away. (And they will, because the money’s going away.) Sure, ‘tis the season for unity, and all that, but let’s not go crazy! Red-states and counties do love to see blue-state presents under their tree, but they’re showing up strangely empty-handed right when their arms should be full.
More sanity: Americans are growing less reluctant to take a COVID-19 vaccine. Congressional negotiators might get a coronavirus rescue package by taking out the crazy bits. It’s an early Christmas for some Black colleges and universities, as MacKenzie Scott shows Ex Jeff Bezos how it’s done.
Yet, there is still insanity: Lunatics put Republicans into their positions, and unsurprisingly, might come and take them out. A Qanon-Republican (Is there any other kind?) was arrested for child pornography, and should be checked for adrenochrome levels. A former cop/paid vigilante in Texas almost kills an air-conditioner repairman in order to feed his delusions and bank account. Then, of course, there is the King of Cranks, crushing the CDC, destroying CDC records on coronavirus, all while having information suppressed in Florida. No wonder his future neighbors don’t want him in their backyards.
Caregivers decide how to spread the still too rare vaccine ethically, while Donald Trump rushes through lethal injection drugs, and slow-walks Regeneron. Thousands will die tonight, and tomorrow, and the days following. Trump lost the worst war we ever fought.
Tue, 15 December 2020
David Waldman delivers a most festive KITM today, full of Cha Nookah cheer:
Donald still has his share of fake believers. Steve Bannon says inauguration is just your constitutional opinion, man. Stephen Miller called for alternate electors to bring some alternate facts to the ground, and across the nation faithful fraudsters sporting Groucho glasses and forged certification “beat electors to the game”, thereby winning by default, of course… until the real electors showed up and ruined everything.
Even some Democrats need to be reminded that believing something should happen doesn’t necessarily make it happen. Jimmy Dore, best known for hosting The Jimmy Dore Show, and being an jerk/idiot, wants what he wants now, confusing having demands with having power. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez thinks two steps ahead and walks into fewer walls.
Mon, 14 December 2020
David Waldman’s College of KITM Knowledge is open, and class is in session.
Of course, neither Donald Trump nor his followers read the WSJ. Michigan votes today under the threat of violence. The entire electoral college is voting under the threat of violence. Proud Boys put on their mom’s skirts, but for safety’s sake might’ve put her knee pads on as well, when they went all stabby in DC last night. Really, it’s just a good idea to stay away from those assholes.
Keep in mind that there are still plenty of Republicans that did know better, that also tried to topple democracy. Newt Gingrich lost his dog whistle, and Ted Cruz can’t spell paradise, but they aren’t complete idiots and shouldn’t be treated as such. Even Rand Paul isn’t as dumb as Trump thinks he is. Trump’s judges didn’t save him because they aren’t Trump’s judges, and they have job security now. There are maybe 10 saps nationwide that really believe the election was stolen and even other Republicans laugh at them.
Dr. Greg Dworkin assures Joseph Epstein and Wall Street Journal that being a doctor isn’t just a guy thing, although there’s also bound to be some grumbling about incoming Senator Reverend Dr. Raphael Warnock for some reason, as well. If Georgian Republicans stay at each other’s throats Jon Ossoff could make it a sweep.
Fri, 11 December 2020
David Waldman delivers a new KITM, still available in all 50 states! (We still have 50 states, right?)
Joe Biden was elected President of the United States; Donald Trump is trying overthrow democracy to take that title. This is just another example of the polarization of politics… or actually sedition. Nope it doesn’t matter what side of the political divide you’re on. The new embrace of political polarization reveals the worst side of bothsideism-er-ists, as Trump Gimmetarians who don’t want to risk losing, especially when they know they deserve to lose, rig the system because they just know you would if you were them.
The Electoral College prepares to hand Donald Trump the loss he still refuses to accept. Trump continues to make perfect phone calls for those to join his lost cause, and the Kraken Caucus is right there to dead-end with him. Trump will lose for the umpteenth time, but maybe that’s not the point. For Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio, it’s business as usual, for others it’s a whole new career. Wisconsin might not be totally on the ball, but at least they aren’t getting mixed up in this.
Other countries have procedures in place to handle problems similar to this, but maybe we’re just too nice. We went and forgot the Alamo and let Santa Anna chew gum in exile on Staten Island. Mar-a-Lago has a new print of Donald Trump on the cover of Responsible Statecraft framed above the bar, waiting for Donald to make Palm Beach great again. Donald’s real and fake families do need a place to pretend to live, and who knows, maybe Melania might visit… and of course, folks like the Syrians need an address to send their check.
Thu, 10 December 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back together again! Ok, it hasn’t been that long, but it’s always good news when it happens!
Good news also for those who disagree with how another state handles electoral votes, COVID-19, gun laws, abortion, same sex marriage, etc. — Just have your state sue their state! There was a time states just didn’t care for that, supposedly. Now it turns out, some states, like Georgia, are maybe into that sort of thing. C'est la vie! Except, of course, for the officials who toss out their state’s electoral votes because they fear for their lives. Plenty of loons are standing by for that word from Donald Trump, or maybe their pet dog, to start boogin’. Sleeper cells are waking up in Congress as we speak. Mitt Romney senses that it’s time to act alarmed again.
Ah, but someday, like a miracle, Donald will disappear. Well, maybe not quite a miracle. But before he does, Joe Biden should stay out of the way of the authorities that do want to see Trump for moment or two. Until then, friends of Trump are friends with benefits. Michael Flynn’s pardon doesn’t make him innocent, but he’s still pardoned. David Perdue picked up $1.8 million from a guy, after he passed that guy’s bill. Trump installed a friend in the Pentagon who immediately sent all the money to a friend of both of theirs.
Nobody hates people getting benefits more than the guy that just missed qualifying for them. This is what’s called “economic anxiety”… which also includes being anxious about any people of color, whatever their actual class.
South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem notes that COVID-19 isn’t so bad if you don’t have it, and those that do, grease the wheels of progress. Over 3,000 went into the gears last night. Sweden thought this was a good plan too, for a while. RonaRudyTooty finds no downside with this system.
Wed, 9 December 2020
Wednesday may be Sundae at Carvel, but it’s Law Day at KITM.
First, a little more on that 1,500-lawyer open letter that Joan told us about yesterday, just to set the stage for another story about lawyers protesting. This time, it’s a protest of Florida Man governor Ron DeSantis sending the cops to raid the home of former state data scientist Rebekah Jones, in what Jones says is a foundationally-shaky retaliation for exposure of DeSantis’s demands for supporting his preferred COVID lies.
BREAKING NEWS: Something, something, Donald Trump, aliens, and the former head of the Israeli space agency you never knew existed.
Safe Harbor Day has come and gone, but Trump’s (or not-Trump’s, depending) courthouse shenanigans continue, despite still more increasingly-decisive setbacks, and even as the “Elite Strike Force” is felled by the COVID strike force. Florida Man attorney Armando joins us for a generalized thrashing of what passes for the Trump “plan” of attack, featuring 100% more law! In a late-breaking but unsurprising development, Trump’s pounding of the table rings false, too.
With Trump’s chances to stall or reverse state certifications behind us, what problems might still lie ahead? For one thing, there’s the long-term damage to the credibility of our system, facilitated even by “decent Republicans.” But beyond that, there’s still the January 6th Joint Session, where Congress counts and ratifies the Electoral College vote. We know that a couple Members widely regarded as kooks plan to try to muck up the works. But what about the vaunted “institutionalists?” Well, no. They look like they’re all in, too.
Tue, 8 December 2020
It wouldn’t be a Tuesday KITM without Joan McCarter! Or, without David Waldman, of course! (Who would answer the phone when she called in?)
Wasn’t today the day Donald Trump was supposed to shut up about the election? Was it next Monday? Three Wednesdays from next? For now, the coup continues. Donald has a favor to ask of the Pennsylvania House Speaker, though. Trump called him twice, in case he’s hard of hearing. That’s the third state he’s personally leaned on, that we know of. “We” doesn’t necessarily include Donald Trump, because who knows on what level Donald “knows” anything at this point. “Coup”, however, is not an overstatement. Anyone who thinks it is, doesn’t know the meanings of the term.
Kool Aid drinker Lou Dobbs confronted Kool Aid vendor Stephen Miller about Republican coup dawdling. Texas won’t secede until they first use the Supreme Court to sue enemy states. (Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton is playing a little Trump-dimensional chess here.)
Just put Ken Paxton on Donald Trump’s Christmas pardon list. Donald has so many pardons planned, he might put together a “form letter” pardon or possibly more of a “Mad Libs” pardon for Rona-Rudy-Tooty-Jack A’roony-Giuliani. 1,500 attorneys are calling for bar associations across the country to investigate members of Trump's "elite strike force". Rudy and Jenna Ellis plan to fight them all the way to the highest traffic court. Jenna just discovered one more reason not to sit near Rudy Giuliani. We here at KITM wish this monster well, along with her friends and family. Unless, one of them is Mitch McConnell. McConnell can bite a big COVID-19 and chew it.
Mitch McConnell still holds COVID-19 relief hostage, and maybe some Senate Democrats are going to cave in. Mitch protects Postmaster Jerk Louis DeJoy as well. If we get Georgia, we can fix all of this and more.
Mon, 7 December 2020
Have an introspective Pearl Harbor day. Did you know that more people will die from Covid-19 today, than died at Pearl Harbor in 1941? Kind of a pain in the ass to have to consider that, isn't it? Tomorrow is “Safe Harbor” day, which who knows, might mean something this year.
Georgia has recounted, and Brian Kemp is reannouncing the recertification of presidential election results. (Joe wins.) Will there be more phony-baloney lawsuits? Sure, but they’ll be thrown out even quicker. Based on their Georgia Senate debates, Jon Ossoff and Raphael Warnock win by default.
Donald Trump is disappearing, like a miracle. He is falling off the front page, and as you know, Donald hates that. Sure, it will take a long time to get the stink out, but even if Trump hang-glided off Air Force One into Mar-a-Lago, come Inauguration Day he won’t be president. Some scary violent nutballs and fascists will stick around, but actually smart Republicans and Democrats will only want to see Donald Trump again in court.
At the moment, the places that really need airing out are the ones Rona-Rudy Giuliani was sitting in. Open the windows, please! Something just doesn’t smell right with Trump’s lawyer Jenna Ellis, either.
Here come the Covid-19 vaccines! Rest assured, however, that wherever you are in the line, you ain’t in the front. There aren’t much vaccines yet to go around either, so take it easy on the featherheads that still won’t put on masks. After all, if we outlaw mask non-compliance, only outlaws won’t wear masks. And yet, you could look at swiss cheese and find a better solution to Covid-19 than Swedish government has come up with until now.
Fri, 4 December 2020
David Waldman delivers the Friday KITM... Yay, it’s Friday! Joe Biden just might be making weekends great again. Notice how they have been becoming a little less dreadful lately? Donald Trump is falling off the front page… although his stain will persist for a long time.
Oh, Donald is still out there. But, he’s squeezed the last pennies from the rubes, the Republican lampreys are detaching, Trump’s left out there punching himself in the face, and losing. It’s his word against his now, and no one is listening.
A few dead-end swindlers remain to snuffle up the dregs. Alleged onanist-flatulist Rudy Giuliani couldn’t even mortify himself into the spotlight in Michigan once ultra-wack job Mellissa Carone took the stage. Who should play Carone on Saturday Night Live? Cut her a check, and she’ll be there, herself. Cut enough checks and SNL won’t need a cast.
This doesn’t mean fraud has left politics. The Florida attorney that gave seminars on fraud-voting in Georgia didn’t come up with the idea, you know. Josh Hawley, still paving the way for Trump lies, pretends to live at his sisters place when he needs to vote out of state.
Third or fourth time’s the charm for Mariannette Miller-Meeks, winning by 1.1 handfuls of a vote over Rita Hart, which would have gone the other way if Iowa counted votes like other states.
Democrats pick Rosa DeLauro to be the next House Appropriations Committee chairwoman, although fundraising performance might have pointed to Debbie Wasserman Schultz. Don’t worry, as long as Debbie’s money sticks around, so will she. Sean Patrick Maloney takes over the DCCC and is ready for a fight, which will be what he is going to recieve.
China’s Sinovac tried to Sinobribe its Coronavac into approval. Pass on that one.
Adolf Hitler Uunona wins election in Namibia, but has no plans to move on to world domination during his first term. His name wasn’t much of a hindrance there as Namibians aren’t bothered so much about that particular era in German history.
Thu, 3 December 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin do dumps, big massive dumps of insight and entertainment for Thursday’s show:
What’s worse, Donald Trump or COVID-19? It could be a tie, they are hard to separate at this point.
We lost a 9/11’s worth of people to COVID-19 yesterday. A total number rivaling a nuclear strike. About 70,000 since Donald Trump invented regeneron. So yesterday, instead of doing something, or anything, Donald spent the whole day producing his “most important speech” ever, worth even less than absolutely nothing, a net negative to everyone.
In fact, if we want to reach proper immunisation levels across the country we should make an effort to “depoliticize” vaccinations, maybe we can call the vaccine “The Trump vaccine”, and praise Donald Trump as often as possible, so that he doesn’t become distracted or counterproductive. Of course, those people who didn’t bother to wear masks, or actively opposed them in bars, restaurants, parties, orgies, rallies, protests, private and superspreader events... From those that think COVID-19 is a hoax, to those that just don’t think... They created, and reside in, hot zones and should be moved to the front of the vaccine line, right behind the important people. Sigh.
You don’t need to tell Republicans they lost the election, they know. Most of them are in it to troll the libs as long as they can. Some really could be that dumb or crazy, though. That concerns the people that think this pro-wrestling schtick might have just gone too far. Money, like Sheldon Adelson, and OG, like Newt Gingrich are beginning to sweat this hand as the lunatics line up, some of them dangerous for the party, and some of them ready to end the game for everybody. The folks that fantasize about martial law have been training cops on how they want them to handle it.
KITM listener-correspondent John Ronald has at least two first names, and a report on voter suppression in Harris county Texas. Over in Florida, a Republican holds a TED talk on how to fraudulently vote in Georgia. David Perdue cashes in on his job, 2596 times. Ivanka Trump can give her dad and bros inside tips on where to find cigs in the pen.
Wed, 2 December 2020
Joe Biden needs to get all of his ducks in a row, now. With Democrats, that means herding a lot of cats, a Nancy Pelosi specialty. David Waldman examines the process of arraying caucus constituencies in the steering and policy committee memberships. Whoever gets to steer will wield a lot of power, and there are a few theories of who will most deserve to take the wheel.
Greg Dworkin, temporarily distracted by fox news, calls in with a coronavirus update. Cases, hospitalisations, deaths, and heartbreak are due to take a leap this week. Coronavirus was in the US earlier than we thought. The CDC will shorten their recommended quarantine for COVID-19 exposure. Hang on, help is coming. Remember, to be safe always wear a mask!
Donald Trump mulls over handing out pardons to his eldest children and Uncle Rudy... probably Jared, not that goody two shoes Tiffany... and that wife he’ll need going into 2024. Other than that — Oh, who are we kidding? The dude’s a vending machine. Everyone has their price, and Donald’s is what you got on you. (Wait for his after Christmas sale, second week in January.)
Meanwhile, Trump will burn it all down before he gives Joe Biden a thing. He wants the Supreme Court to throw out somewhere between 80 thousand and 7 million votes, whatever it takes. Mike Flynn calls for a military coup. The White Tea Party Committee (WTPC) calls for martial law, civil war... and safe elections just like Ohio’s — except impeach Mike Dewine. Ron Johnson could say something, but it would be political suicide, perhaps the real kind, too. Of course, sticking with Trump is just as suicidal, and even more likely to kill bystanders. Kelly Loeffler cuts off her own avenue of escape. How many people does Trump have to kill before Twitter removes the tags from his tweets? If you join a Republican suicide pact, make certain you have a tight grip before jumping off that bridge.
Brad Parscale took every inch of Trump’s love, and should be thankful he got out when he did.
Tue, 1 December 2020
We made it to December! Only 24 more days until… Only 50 more days until the Inauguration of Joe Biden as the president of the United States! Ho ho ho!
David Waldman and Joan McCarter bring us some glad tidings early:
Joe Biden is packing many welcome stocking-stuffers into his bag, including a way-overdue COVID stimulus and executive order patches to build us back better. Democracy gets treats while Trumpers and their moles get the sack. It will be easy to cut Trump from intelligence briefings by just enforcing normal standards for trustworthiness.
This will all be easier with a couple of new Georgia Senators. Donald Trump called Georgia governor Brian Kemp to call off the runoff elections, or maybe all elections, because who needs them? Brian is going to get a new phone for Christmas. Donald’s getting nothing from Santa.
Donald Trump gave Michael Flynn the gift that keeps on giving, a preemptive pardon. Rudy the red-nosed wanker is first in line for what’s bound to be the hottest gift for Trumpers this year. Experts like Emptywheel are reading the fine print, and suggest some might be getting more than they hoped for.
One of Jared Kushner’s many awful gift ideas, Scott Atlas, prime example of the Trump Trollocracy, is now past his expiration date. More than the average troll, Scott helped kill hundreds of thousands while in his position and hundreds of thousands will die because of him in the future. The organizer of anti-COVID lockdown rallies in Pennsylvania got a COVID test prior to meeting with Donald Trump, and you know what that means.
Darwin H.M., @Darwin_Darko to you and me, describes why it is time to leave Afghanistan, before one more American is killed. Trump hopes to sell the United Arab Emirates billions of dollars worth of arms that they plan to regift soon.
Mon, 30 November 2020
It’s almost December? Why isn’t it almost January? David Waldman and Greg Dworkin distract us with facts, news and wisdom while we wait:
Come with me and you'll be... in a world of half imagination! Even Wonka couldn’t have handled as much fantasy as the Trump administration is handing out lately. 20+ days of Donald Trump and his supporters refusing to accept “You get nothing! You Lose! Good day sir!” In fact, America has been telling him that for about 2000 days, but he and his parasites are quite difficult to dislodge. Still, conspiracists might have bitten off more than they can chew in Georgia, because if they are to be believed, why vote? And, if they aren’t to be believed, why listen to them? Brian Kemp is giving Donald endorsement remorse but not much else.
Meanwhile, Don Jr. and Eric get free helicopter rides on Marine One in their new Uday-Qusay members only jackets for their last chance to infect the help on the taxpayer dime. COVID-19 continues to separate the deluded from the enlightened, with patients denying the horror as their caregivers relive it. Senator David Perdue saw a lot of people that wouldn’t be needing their money anymore.
Over on the thinking side of politics, there are some counterintuitive lessons. In Georgia’s runoffs, Jon Ossoff succeeds by embracing Bernie Sanders and Slutty Vegans. Chris Krebs explains to 60 Minutes how the election was made secure by prioritizing paper ballots. While the chances for something catastrophic happening to democracy are dropping, the chances for something stupid happening remain at 100%. Winning Georgia’s Senate seats will take us a long way towards a functioning government. David maps out the electoral process well into the political twilight zone.
Fri, 27 November 2020
Mmm — leftovers! Not here though. David Waldman and Armando deliver a piping fresh KITM right to your ears today. Don’t bother to get off the couch, just finish off that can of cranberry sauce and tub of Cool Whip, and tune in!
Diaper Don sat behind his widdle desk yesterday and had only widdle things to say. Hell yes, Donald Trump is “stepping down” for Joe Biden, of course, he’s not coming to the inauguration. We’ve had Trump’s number for some time now. He’ll continue to destroy the country of course, but that’s barely been a side interest for him. Real despotism is a lot of work. Pardoning people takes so little effort that he can work a couple in between holes.
The Right loves dead liberals. That’s because people actually respect dead liberals, plus you can have them say whatever you want. Almost as good, are fake ex-liberals, because you know they’re going where the grift is deepest and won’t get tripped up by any sticky ideology. Things will be fine, if you only remember to not give your money to them. A guy dropped $2.5 million on True the Vote Inc., which bought him “vague responses, platitudes, and empty promises” — exactly what he payed for. Hopefully, none of you paid for a Kraken, because the delivery date keeps getting pushed back, and release might not be so imminent.
Thu, 26 November 2020
Welcome to our annual KITM Thanksgiving Special, with your hosts, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin, and their special guests, the Loudoun County Rockettes! Brought to you by… you. We sure couldn’t have done it without you. We’re still grateful for you, even if your name might possibly be mispronounced by us. (David’s got “Nevada”, “Latiñes” and “Latines” down pat, now if only he could say “adversary”…)
There is a lot to be thankful for! 80,000,000 legal votes. 306 electoral votes. Over 30 transparently idiotic lawsuits, and counting. Several of the dumbest, craziest lawyers in the country. We should thank The Resistance, fighting from the last inauguration right up to this one. And, the few, proud, honest Republicans... Webcams on laptops, relaying LGBT bashers’ laptops to Zoom. And, John P. Flannery, the Robert Redford of Willy Wonkas, all out there, fighting the good fight.
Yesterday, the Trump Supreme Court and their new superspreader Justice put a big boot heel on both state’s rights, and public health by blocking New York’s coronavirus restrictions on houses of worship, formally trading “latte drinking Prius drivers” with “wine drinking bicycle riders” in the Supreme Court lexicon.
Meanwhile, we die from a preventable disease. Idiocy remains popular in South Dakota. You can even lose your job if you aren’t one. West Virginia can’t keep up... in fact, they don’t really want to. Perhaps, if we only had more self-destructive door-knockers, we’d have more Democrats in Congress.
Wed, 25 November 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are in for a pre-Thanksgiving KITM, and just so you don’t miss them, they’ll be back for Thanksgiving too!
Today, Donald Trump will reveal election blockbuster news in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania at… psych! Donald’s currently pantsless watching TV, unwilling to even assist his loyal stooges in destroying America.
President-elect Joe Biden is president. Trump has been in absentia since he started. The election wasn’t close, but it was a nail-biter for democracy for a while. The election proves Republicans don’t care about America, or they only care about the America who voted for them, who pretty much hate America. The Republican officials that saved the country were heretics and apostates that prefer facts and truth and democracy and integrity over party. They will be dealt with accordingly. For your weekend reading (Sure, it is Wednesday, but it will take you till Monday to read all of it.) check out the essential and extensive inside story Michigan’s fake voter fraud scandal. Of course, this won’t be the end of it. Mostly Black, urban areas like Detroit will have to keep on fighting.
The transition delay is going to cost lives. Nearly a sixth of the Senate Republican caucus has tested positive for coronavirus, as none of them are smart enough to wear a mask, and watching Hannity makes them more stupid every day.
History will demand to know why we didn’t put Donald Trump in front of a firing squad. Donald Trump would want a state funeral and burial at Arlington Cemetery if only for the reason that they’d be taxpayer funded, and an eternal grift.
Jared and Ivanka pulled their 3 kids from a DC Jewish school, and you can be sure the school had a cake that day to celebrate. Unfortunately, that means Javanka had to go somewhere else, and there goes that neighborhood.
Meanwhile, Republicans quietly plot to sink Biden nominees. Steven Mnuchin will put $455 billion where Janet Yellen can’t get to it. Fraudster John Lott has has quickly slid into the Justice Department. The Office of Management and Budget gets Schedule F’ed. Trump unlocks the backdoor for Russia and throws away the key.
Tue, 24 November 2020
Get in. David Waldman takes the wheel and drives us another 2 hours away from the last 4 years.
Today, Trump will pardon the national Thanksgiving turkey. On January 20, he’ll be dragged, kicking and screaming, sadly metaphorically, from the White House. In between, it will just be the usual bitter, corrupt bs that fewer and fewer should pay attention to. Except prosecutors. They need to listen up.
Unfortunately, objects like Donald are always closer than they appear. From now on, even landslide election wins will be challenged. Pennsylvania Republicans voted against certification of a county that Trump won by 22,000 votes. Misinformation superspreaders, White-power terrorists and Dimwit Republicans have more power than ever, and all of them are armed. Back in the day, Senators didn’t need a gun to win an argument, when a cane would do. Of course, guns always do it more efficiently and from a distance.
How much more real can COVID-19 get? In all 50 states deaths are higher than normal. Sturgis-borne coronavirus has spread like locusts back out to the coasts. Correspondent Brian Munroe and Dan Rather try to bring perspective to the plague.
Mon, 23 November 2020
Donald Trump isn’t quite gone, but little by little, he is going. You can feel the weight slowly lifting. KITM can now tackle “Flea bites Johnny Rotten’s penis” stories, and finally take the time to consider Flea’s perspective…
Sidney Powell’s leopard print camouflaged her so well that the Trump team didn’t notice her prowling their stages and tweets. The Kraken isn’t under the bus yet, though. She’s just more of a freelance lunatic now.
No, you do not have to feel the Trump voter's pain. They aren’t here to feel yours. Mitch McConnell isn’t going to see it Joe Biden’s way. Republicans said Donald Trump shouldn’t be impeached, because it would hurt our government, but Republicans always make certain that governance doesn’t work, because that is what their voters expect from their world. GSA Emily Murphy isn’t interested in making government function, because she understands that wasn’t the job she was hired for. Republican senators hate Donald Trump, but dislike a functioning process even more.
For people like that, there is jail. The Michigan attorney general is looking into criminal probes of state and local officials. Would prosecuting Donald Trump restore the rule of law? It couldn’t hurt.
A newspaper photographer was chased from a boys baseball game in Arizona for being “fake news”. Meanwhile, there are no more ICU beds available in Arizona. A record 83,870 people are currently hospitalized with COVID-19, while half the US is stuck in 1919. We need more war correspondents reporting from the COVID-19 front lines. Put on your mask and hang on, help is coming.
Fri, 20 November 2020
David Waldman was almost “too busy” to bring us a new KITM for today! Can you imagine? There is so much to talk about, and who knows how much time left to talk about it.
Things are so insane, David had to release the Kraken, or as we call him, Armando, to help fathom the fusillade of facts and falsehoods flooding the… (I can only think of F-words to describe this situation.)
Joe Biden was elected president. Georgia calls it, again, for Joe. Probably. Michigan probably will certify their state. But, wait, there goes Senator Mike Shirkey and Representative Lee Chatfield to have a chat with Donald at the White House, which would seem ill-advised... unless they planned to overturn the election, subvert democracy, establish a fascist coup d'état, maybe? In reaction, non-coup Republicans have become stern. Democrats, even sterner. AOC’s out there fighting… a different war. Militiamen prepare for a high body count.
Donald Trump is leaving within two months, probably. David and Armando discuss the norms, laws, codes, procedures and penumbral reasoning soon to flushed down the commode, unless people prove they really value those sort of things, and call Trump’s bluff.
Thu, 19 November 2020
How do you write a summary of a wildfire? Is democracy burning down, or is the threat being contained? There are so many fires, and so many arsonists! Here’s where David Waldman and Greg Dworkin were this AM:
The Board of Canvassers in Wayne County, Michigan almost didn’t certify the county’s votes, because of the two certifiable racists who derailed the process, then viral fame ensued. Finally, the two chose to be a footnote, rather than a chapter in future history books, and voted with the others to certify the vote. Donald Trump then called on the two to reach out and tell them what a great job... and life they had to that point, and what a shame it would be if something happened to it. Both now have signed paperwork indicating that they didn’t approve of the votes they had already made. But… of course, they already certified, the process has moved on, the laws the law… the gavel has dropped… right? RIGHT?
Well, one gavel dropped, which used to mean something, but in this particular nightmare there’s a gavel gauntlet waiting, and one or two or five gavels could make trouble. Trump’s team is trying to light too many fires to put out. If the election had been just a little closer it would have been all ashes already.
The Georgia recount won’t shut Trump up. Donald and his team will just get funnier and more dangerous each hour. You know what we should do? We should reach out to Trump supporters, look forward, not back, and let Trump be Trump... legally. Or, not. GSA Emily Murphy might be trying to avoid jail herself, or perhaps she is truly internally struggling in personal anguish, and just wants to be a good soldier... Republicans can’t fight Joe Biden if they have to admit he exists.
Maybe there’s some nuance in politics, and a few conservatives left that might still be communicated with. The ones that don’t watch Fox, and haven’t started watching OANN. The ones that don’t bet on how many of their employees catch COVID-19, or use stimulus money to buy guns. The ones still alive after refusing to wear masks.
Meanwhile, let’s make a note to look into Latiñes concerns, before or if we have another election.
Wed, 18 November 2020
Ever wonder how many times the actions of a few people managed to save us from destruction? Or how many of these situations might occur in, say, the next 60 days? Did you ever think you’d be watching one unfold on Zoom? Trump forces are dropping bombs everywhere, so no matter how ineptly assembled, you should expect some to explode. Democracy almost lost Michigan yesterday when two Wayne County board members decided to not certify their counts. They were forced into retreat even before their Confederate monuments could be built. Things can go back to normal, at least there, at least for now.
In Pennsylvania, they get Rudy Giuliani. Not the best choice, even if you are just planning to drive the case to the Supreme Court. Rudy is charging $20,000 a day, not including his per diem. To think that Donald Trump could’ve went with Scott Baio for Cameo money! Giuliani did spring his alleged lover’s daughter on insurance fraud charges, let’s see Scott try that.
Another guy in search of a few okay lawyers would be Lindsey Graham. The Secretary of the State of Arizona shut down his alibi immediately. Donald Trump’s voter suppression efforts seem to have suppressed Republican votes in Georgia’s presidential election and hopefully, in their Senate runoffs.
All of this is kind of funny, until people die because of it. Most people do blame Trump, unless they are Trump people, and only half of them do. If you wanted to know what’s really going on, you could always ask Christopher Krebs, but today he’s dropping off his resume at Joe Biden headquarters. For now, you will need to ask GSA Administrator Emily Murphy to explain things.
Tue, 17 November 2020
Hmm-Lliiiiiivvvve! David Waldman welcomes KITM’s regular, yet special, Tuesday guest Joan McCarter to discuss the important things happening and not happening today.
Donald Trump, who was never really president, but is now somehow in exile, is plotting his return. About 3000 votes have turned up in Georgia, almost 1000 in the Trump Glorious Victory column. Only several million more to go! Rather than dig up Trump votes, Lindsey Graham realized it would be easier and quicker to just not count Biden votes. So, he rung up Georgia’s secretary of state, and Arizona’s, and Nevada’s to see if any might be able to work in a few felonies into their counts.
Trump’s lawyers also turned out to be slackers when it came to going to jail for their client. Donald knew who he should turn to in times like these, but Rudy Giuliani was available, so he’s got the job. It’s been a while, but Rudy still has a few tricks up his sleeve!
Joe Biden has put together a White House senior staff short on his kids, their in-laws, or even their girlfriends. Donald Trump is still blocking the lot of them. Congress has less than two weeks to keep government funded, or provide COVID-19 relief. Meanwhile, House Democrats will elect most of their leadership team this week. David can give you a tip on how to guess the outcome of these things, although it’s less effective for Republicans.
The toppling of Confederate statues in Portsmouth Virginia led to political retaliation by the police against a state senator and several local Black leaders. So far, the police chief has been fired and the charges dropped.
Mon, 16 November 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin don’t have to explain that to you. Now, how do we clue in the other folks?
The Q Cucks Klan marched on Washington without masks, just as neuroradiologist Scott Atlas called for an uprising against Gretchen Whitmer, who recently escaped from their kidnapping and murder plot. Scott was misunderstood/stupid beyond belief, and even worse, from the Hoover Institute. Candace Owens showed she understands Republican priorities.
Hospitals are in hell. The coronavirus is now a rural and red state threat. Try telling that to people who will die before admitting that they caught Covid. We have a chance to stop this horror/shit show with outreach and messaging… and science! For instance, If it wasn’t for Donald Trump infecting so many Americans, the world wouldn’t have these latest vaccines! Remember that, great “historians”! Ferrets rejoice!
Ignorance and idiocy will continue to grow, because it is so easy to understand and implement selfishness and laziness. Still, there is hope. Mitch McConnell doesn’t run the whole show, and there are methods around his madness. It also turns out that people don’t approve of police riots, and everyone is pretty embarrassed about the electoral college.
Fri, 13 November 2020
Soon, we won’t have Donald Trump to kick around, anymore. Geraldo Rivera says it’s time for Trump to walk away with “grace and dignity.” Easier said than done for Donald. His crazy train has never been on the rails. Don’t be concerned, there’s plenty of nitwits and bozos coming up the ranks to occupy David Waldman each day.
Jonathan Turley used to play a smart guy on TV, but dropped that gig a few years ago. Now he’s Donald Trump’s idea of a smart guy, affecting gravitas on Donald’s all cap tweets about Dominion Voting Systems stealing his votes. You know you’ve hit bottom when you’re being “Well, actually”-ed by Steve Doocy on Fox & Friends. Even extremely progressive blogs aren’t that crazy, lately.
Democrats can fix things... or try to throttle each other into disarray as if power was a finite resource that deplenishes when shared. Power and money, when invested wisely, demonstrates leadership and strength.
Thu, 12 November 2020
Winner, winner, chicken dinner! Joe Biden won! We might as well keep celebrating, as here it is, almost the middle of November, and there are still people just figuring this out. Some Trump followers are coming to grips with reality. Some are following the advice of their chickens and are moving on.
Karl Rove understands the election won’t be overturned. Trump evangelical Robert Jeffress calls Joe Biden “president-elect”. Hugh Hewitt will not only tell you Biden’s the one, but he approves of Joe’s Chief of Staff pick, Ronald Klain. Oklahoma Republican Senator James Lankford says he will fight for Biden’s right to intelligence briefings. Even British Prime Minister Boris Johnson calls Donald Trump America's “previous president”.
No chicken could be as dumb as a focus group undecided voter. Still — a vote is a vote. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Abigail Spanberger both found more votes than their Republican opponents, which is kind of how they won their elections.
The middle of November is also about the time presidents pardon turkeys… and felons. Lame-duck Donald might try to save his own neck from the chopping block. It’s not a good time to be a Trump lawyer. Snell & Wilmer withdraw from their election lawsuit in Maricopa County, Arizona. Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton’s goose might be cooked. James O’Keefe’s stool pigeons find GoFundMe isn’t chicken feed.
Donald Trump’s next target to destroy is Fox News, but generally Donald needs to own a business to destroy it.
The COVID-19 pandemic topped 140,000 cases yesterday, it will continue to become more horrible until the Biden administration can take over, and even then there will be heckling from the sidelines. There is no place to hide, and no “miracle cure”… inoculating against coronavirus is only one of the technological, logistical, and societal hurdles to come.
Wed, 11 November 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin welcome back Denise Oliver Velez, whose inestimable breadth and depth of experience, activism and legacy in racial, cultural and political affairs can illuminate our way out of Donald Trump’s morass.
Today’s principal topic however, and probably the principal topic for America’s foreseeable future, is the Latiñe voting bloc, which can’t be reached with just a few spanish words, and is far from a single voting bloc, with regional, class, religious and racial differences driving their lives and their votes. Trump got out the Hispanic vote across the country by not taking them or their needs for granted.
Nonetheless, Joe Biden won the presidency. Yes, indeed. It’s a slow-motion beat-down, folks. The biggest win for a challenger since FDR. In addition, a team of international observers found no systemic fraud in U.S. elections. The New York Times found no fraud. The AP says there’s no widespread fraud. There is nothing to see here... And, that is why Georgia is going to hand recount all of the votes — to build trust and respect (and watch Donald Trump lose twice).
Tue, 10 November 2020
Tuesday! David Waldman! Joan McCarter! Whoo hoo! That’s the good news… then again:
Maybe Donald isn’t going away.
Donald Trump’s presidency — his entire life — has turned on people believing that absolutely nobody could be that stupid, venal and lazy, and yet here he is proving it, day after day, decade after decade, never paying up. Today he will do everything stupidly wrong, tomorrow he will be back, and worse. Trump is completely ineffectual, and 100% destructive. The more you think about it, the dumber things become. If Joe ever gets in, he’s going to be in so much trouble for the last four years.
Trump’s “last, desperate, laughably weak” attack on Obamacare goes to the Supreme Court this week, and the only people due to suffer will be the ones that need insurance. Mitch McConnell’s cold blue hands squeeze the last breaths out of Covid relief.
Mon, 9 November 2020
Believe it or not, there are some that aren’t taking the news so well. Rudy’s still got a few tricks up his sleeve, and out in the alley. Don Jr., always a great judge of character, believes something is awry. Mike Pence pops up for air and to honor Donald Trump’s invention of Pfizer’s Coronavirus vaccine. Today is the day Joe Biden became President, and Donald Trump should be in nobody’s backyard.
Greg Dworkin describes the beauty of RNA vaccines, and Messenger RNA, as science and expertise head back to the White House. Utah’s Governor finds today is a good day to issue a mask mandate. Greg is also quite happy that dogs and sane people are heading back to the White House. There are plenty of takeaways from the 2020 elections, and one is that we should be holding on to Democracy as tight as Trump holds a flag. It wasn’t a close election, and it is becoming less close the more ballots are counted.
Will Donald Trump, you know... pivot to a Biden post-election transition process? That might be a bit much to ask from the crew that couldn’t Google the correct Four Seasons, but David would be happy to walk them through the handbook if need be.
Fri, 6 November 2020
David Waldman brings us our KITM on the day we’ve all been waiting for: Day One of Donald Trump in exile.
Donald Trump did throw together a victory speech for last night. If you didn’t catch it, there will be a lot more to come. Newt Gingrich demands arrests. Seb Gorka demands storm troopers. Steve Bannon moves toward Games of Thrones solutions (Twitter puts his head on a pike.) Brooks Brothers rioters — except this time heavily armed — head into battleground states. Your puny logic, norms, and laws will be no match for them.
The Secret Service ramps up their protection around Joe Biden.
Meanwhile, Rick Santorum looked nauseous last night on CNN. Just spit it out Santorum! Chew some gum, you’ll feel better! Rick promised on the air that Republicans wouldn’t try anything crazy... like appointing electors to steal the election. Rick speaks for all Republicans, even the lying ones, so that’s that.
The Democrats have won, and as per tradition, their accusations and finger-pointing can now commence. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez will not be made a scapegoat, and instead demands credit. That’s no way to get ahead!
Thu, 5 November 2020
David Waldman welcomes Greg Dworkin, and you to the KITM Almost, but Not Quite 270 Electoral Votes Special.
Donald Trump is still president. Donald’s lawyers and lackies hereby demand the immediate ceasing & continuance of ballot counting. Republicans have come out in support of whatever that is and join in demanding more & less. William Barr might send armed agents to guarantee it happens or stops. It’s right there in the Constitution! Well, it’s somewhere — do your research! The Postal Service will do what it can to slow things down. Someone has to pay, but Louis DeJoy might dash on that bill.
Don’t try to escape, no one will take us.
Democrats know deep down that this is all their fault. Republicans might have trouble winning the popular vote, or governing, but with such a
Wed, 4 November 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin felt it with the rest of us last night, and are here to help get us back on our feet and ready to fight.
Trusted polling authorities will be spending today explaining why people would ever trust them as authorities again, but really, is there vote tampering? Or maybe… possibly... vote tampering? Or maybe, gratification and democracy just are not that instantaneous. David’s own Loudoun county was very red and very blue at times last night.
There is still a lot to count. 300,000 mail ballots were shown as not delivered so a federal judge ordered U.S. Postal Service inspectors to sweep postal facilities. Louis DeJoy told the judge no thank you. A Milwaukee election official was given a police escort to turn in her absentee ballot info.
There is probably good news in Wisconsin, Michigan, Pennsylvania… probably. In fact, there is plenty of good news already. All four members of "the Squad" won easily. Cori Bush became the first black Congresswoman In Missouri history. And Joe Biden broke the record for the most votes ever received by a candidate at a US Presidential Election. Okay, after that there isn’t that much good news to count. Mitch McConnell, no MLK Jr., is back. Lindsey Graham is back. Susan Collins is back. Devin Nunes is back. Even a Republican that died from COVID-19 in October was elected. Democrats are in.. well, you know.
Tue, 3 November 2020
The question on this nation’s minds: Could this possibly be the last Taco Tuesday for this administration?
David Waldman brings on Armando and Joan McCarter to prepare us for today. Listen to them, and you’ll be set. Take a nap until tonight when the action starts.
Battlelines have been drawn. Well, some sure are behaving like a war is coming. Nancy Pelosi is assembling her troops and is ready for anything. Meanwhile, Donald Trump fortified his bunker and has stowed away both Eva and Melania, clearly expecting the worst.
The Trump army of poll-watchers, constipated, paranoid, and... well, they were prepared to Karen up the joint until they found out there was no artillery backup and they still had to wear masks. It’s just no fun being a Trump goon if there’s so many rules to follow.
Frivolous lawsuits are being thrown out left and right, and are tossed right back in again, to then be thrown out again. Of course, all you need is a frivolous judge or two, and as Armando says, their “intervention can be determinative”.
Voters of color will have to work harder to have their ballots count, but when has not been the case? This time however, the military vote is in danger of going Democratic, and so Republicans are taking it out. As for you, stay in line, wear a mask, and protect your vote!
Mon, 2 November 2020
This could end up being a pretty hectic, vexing week. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin present our KITM moment of zen.
If you want to understand 2020, look to 2008, or maybe 1980 or 1932. Just cut it out with those comparisons to 2016. Joe Biden, as always, is ahead nationally, and in swing states, and all over the crosstabs, including Latinos. He has a big lead, people. There’s no such thing as a shy Trump voter. (You can look to their wives and daughters for the shy Biden vote.) In Nevada, Biden’s blue tide raises all votes. If you were to predict a winner, you might in fact say it would be Joe Biden. Donald Trump assures everyone that the polls are fake and he will win, therefore Donald Trump also predicts a Biden win.
Donald Trump is building the wall! The third one, this time unscalable, around the White House. You’d think that would hold Trump until the cops come, but unfortunately Donald still has that helicopter. (He’s just the villain to be prying aide’s fingers off the landing gear as it ascends, too.)
Republicans salt the earth in their retreat, first attacking voting, soon attacking voters. Two judges in Minnesota issued a voting rules order that contradicts the instructions mailed with the ballot. in Texas, Republicans are trying to throw out 100,000+ votes cast at drive-in voting centers that they helped design. In Pennsylvania, Republicans might only need to stall to win. Voting goons are fanning out across battleground states to coerce the vote and case out the polling areas and machines. Expect plenty of post-election goons fanning out as well, with police and party support.
Police took a Black toddler from his family’s SUV. Then, the union used his photo as propaganda.
Fri, 30 October 2020
Did you think that David Waldman would let you go KITM-free, less than 3 and a half days before this election? Are you kidding? David recorded today’s show before — and after his operation yesterday! It took three orderlies to pry the microphone out of his hands.
All this means that Ian Reifowitz can’t make his usual Friday visit. (Don’t let that dissuade your purchase of another copy of The Tribalization of Politics: How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump... Do it.) If Ian was here, do you know what he’d say? He’d say that Donald Trump hasn’t protected pre-existing conditions, and he can’t do it in the future without the Affordable Care Act… not that Trump ever planned to, to begin with.
Personally, I hope Amy McGrath kicks Mitch McConnell into that coal lobbyist position he’s been vying for, for decades. If not, Ian has a plan for Democrats to shove McConnell’s own words on Amy Coney Barrett down his throat. That works too.
Craig McLean was the acting head of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, until he wondered out loud if NOAA officials would behave with integrity. Unfortunately for him, and the rest of us, NOAA officials are Trump stooges.
Is Jared Kushner Trump’s stooge, or visa-versa? No stooge has ever been as privileged, self-entitled, or dangerous as Jared. David was sure his mind couldn’t be more numbed, until he read the transcript of Jared bragging how doctors and scientists were cut out of coronavirus decisions, about 300,000 deaths ago.
Thu, 29 October 2020
David Waldman is out today and tomorrow, and that’s okay. It’s okay because it would be awfully hard to resist vexing ourselves counting chickens that just might be a long way from hatching right now, and it’s okay because David also recorded a BRAND NEW KITM for today!
Let’s talk about Donald Trump’s corruption. That’s an evergreen topic, not only in regards to Donald, but for Republicans in general, many of whom have figured in his schemes before he was elected, and will somehow be carrying on long after he has gone.
“If you don’t give back, you’re never ever going to be fulfilled in life”, as some hack Trump had ghostwrite once said. As for Donald, what’s philanthropy without an angle to grift? Any good deed needs to show a profit, or it isn’t good enough for Donald Trump.
Trump donated $10 million to his 2016 campaign, except it wasn’t a donation, and it wasn’t his money, although he eventually made it his money. This time, Donald isn’t donating, and yet is probably raking it in. Does Trump take his money to the Chinese laundry?
Remember when Trump was suing Omarosa Manigault Newman? That might not happen since Trump has been stiffing his own lawyers. Anyhow, he might not want to get Omarosa mad. She could have a sequel in the works.
Joe Biden will have his work cut out for him, but the first thing he will need to do is bring back intelligence to the White House.
Wed, 28 October 2020
David Waldman is live today! He’s live Thursday and Friday also, but the KITMs, full of brand-new goodness, will be recorded. You’ll love them just as much!
Greg Dworkin asks us to keep our hands and feet inside the Pollercoaster… but you know what? Let’s see those hands over your heads — this ride is getting fun! Joe Biden is locking down Michigan and Wisconsin and double digiting nationally. Gen Z/Millennials have doubled over 2016. Down ballot is looking rosy as well. Blue-rosy.
Trump’s Omaha fans, who apparently don’t believe in COVID, can now attest that global warming is also a hoax. Will Donald’s inept handling of the his own rally, potentially endangering his own voters, because he stiffed the bus company affect Donald Trump’s chance of reelection? It probably won’t help.
Less than a week away from the election and the “How Trump Can Win” articles are finally slipping under “How Trump Can Lose” articles. It still is pretty certain that if Trump loses, he won’t be a good loser, and neither will his supporters. We already know that though, and are prepared to deal with them… most of them. There is the chance Donald Trump could call for… well, violent insurrection and political assassination... as he is sometimes wont to do. Democratic Governor Gretchen Whitmer was targeted, as well as Republican Governor Mike DeWine. Boogs are conspiring with cop killers and Hamas to ignite civil war…
Tue, 27 October 2020
Amy Coney Barrett is a Supreme Court justice. Well, not yet. She’s Donald Trump’s, Mitch McConnell’s and Leonard Leo’s show pony with only a fake swearing in at the White House. Eventually, it will be true, and at that point she will be one of the five justices appointed by presidents that lost the popular vote. The senators that voted for her represent 15 million fewer Americans than the Democrats (Ok, and Susan Collins) that didn’t. In fact, Republican presidents have named 15 of 19 justices. Republicans pick “originalist” judges, in that they “originally” wanted certain outcomes and are now in a position to declare that was the outcome all along.
The Supreme Court shadow docket now has the power to come out of the shadows. They haven’t agreed with most people for over 50 years, but who’s to stop them now? They only need to listen to a couple of dissenters, and then dictate history to the other 330 million.
Mon, 26 October 2020
Ready for some tough answers? David Waldman and Greg Dworkin aren’t going anywhere, especially this close to the big day. Democrats do have a place to go — the polls, with almost half already voting. This isn’t 2016, people! Joe Biden has a whole new coalition. Texas will have a couple million more voters, more Democrats, and one third more unmarried women. Joe’s nailing down battleground states and closing off Donald Trump’s paths of escape.
Greg dares to suggest what many of us dare not consider… Gulp!... We might win. Of course the election isn’t over until Donald Trump’s gone. Joe and Kamala will have to play hardball against a party with few ties to reality and nothing to win for except their own existence. Donald can always go back to the consulting job he had back in… 2018. The rest, however, have their backs against the wall and nowhere to go. Intimidation tactics will become worse with desperation.
If you had to set up grandpa Donald’s twitter account, what would you give him for a password?
Fri, 23 October 2020
Only 10 more shopping days before the 2020 United States presidential election! Time to stock up on Ian Reifowitz’s The Tribalization of Politics: How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump. Ian is David Waldman’s guest on Friday KITMs through the election. (Or as long as we can get him!) Race and class are linked in America, so it makes sense for Democrats to create solutions that address both as a combined reality, to address Republican’s intention to divide and conquer.
Donald Trump, King of Israel, wishes he could’ve debated Moses last night, but had to settle for Joe Biden. Ian assures us that Trump is not making inroads with American Jewish voters, with the possible exception of some Orthodox Hasidic Jews. It’s not just the masks that take the curl out of their payot, it’s that Republican partisanship is becoming as expected of them as it is of evangelical Christians.
The debates are over. Donald Trump made the 12th hour pivot away from being carried away in a straightjacket, and just behaved more like an abuser that can’t get you alone right now. Oh, but don’t worry… He’s got plans. If Louis DeJoy and Amy Coney Barrett can’t save him, expect Donald Trump to salt the earth in his retreat. Trump has issued a sweeping order for career federal employees to lose civil service protections to take those that he says are the deep state and making them what everyone knows to be the swamp.
Thu, 22 October 2020
It’s 11 days, 12 hours, 12 minutes and 26 seconds until the election, give or take… Deep breaths! Why is it still so far away? Listen to today’s KITM with David Waldman and Thursday’s guest Greg Dworkin, and another two hours will fly by!
Indeed, the presidential campaign really ends in just a few hours at the conclusion of tonight’s debate. This is Donald Trump’s one last chance for that one grand pivot into presidential behavior. It’s also his last chance to be a real dick... Tormenting Joe Biden over Hunter is the very least he could do tonight. Joe is already set with his Supreme Court answer.
The polls can’t be cheering up Donald lately. Demographics is yet another aspect of reality not in his favor. Adjusting for race can spoil a pollster’s aim, but Greg always adjusts for windage, elevation and skewage.
Even with a loss, Donald Trump is set to torture us for 11 weeks following the election. He wouldn’t miss that for the world. Christopher Wray and William Barr do not bring joy to Trump and shouldn’t be expecting an invitation to Melania’s Christmas party. The FBI hasn’t found Russians behind the Hunter Biden laptop scheme… yet.
Qatar and the United Arab Emirates have been leaking emails to journalists with the help of Elliott Broidy, but with Broidy going away, what will they do? Expect a presidential pardon, as Elliott Broidy is the reason Donald Trump doesn’t have to wear condoms, and you can’t lose a wingman like that.
11 days, 10 hours, 30 minutes and 34 seconds...
Wed, 21 October 2020
David Waldman presents another Kagro in the Morning, with only 7 more to go before the election!
Greg Dworkin reminds us to wear a mask. Also, get out and vote while you still can. In the past couple of weeks about 10,000 families lost a loved one to COVID-19. All of them probably wish they could have received some of that miracle cure Donald Trump promised to hand out… probably even Melania. If only the dead and dying could just make up their minds on what cure they want! Donald is bored, and moves on.
Trump wants more rallies, maybe 5 a day, to remind those stupid saps of how much he hates seeing them. Ralliers undoubtedly feel the same way. After all, it isn’t love that brings them together, you know.
2020 is no time for roundtable punditry to discuss political theater, because Donald Trump has killed presidential showbiz forever. Trump did make a pitch for Bob Hope fans, now that he’s losing in the 100 and under demographic. (Bob wouldn’t have voted for him either.)
Millions upon millions already have voted, and Donald is losing bad where he won a little, which is not good… for him. Who knows what it will take to beat Trump, but even more of this would be really nice.
Louis DeJoy is attempting to keep Post Office shenanigans under wrap until the election.
Even the Proud Boys couldn’t be stupid enough to send email threats, could they?
Rudy’s been caught toobin’.
Tue, 20 October 2020
Yesterday it was reported that Jeffrey Toobin exhibited his boredom with a Zoom staff meeting, you know, like we all do… perhaps a bit more “literally” than most. In unrelated news, David Waldman has not set yet up the “exclusive video option” for KITM deluxe subscribers. You never know the benefits increased editorial freedoms might bring!
No, wait. Yes you do! Armando, yes Armando, returns for the first 3/4’s of the entire show! As in the past, the conversation was wide ranging, covering the polling experience in Florida, pre-election voting, LV vs RV polling (forget LV, everyone’s LV), the mail-in voter advantage… or not, and the methods and timing of vote counts in Florida and elsewhere. Texas will let you know about your rejected ballot some time during the following administration. A Kentucky postal worker forgot to sift through the mail he wasn’t delivering for ballots, and now he’s in trouble. Fox News frighten their viewers one voter at a time.
The U.S. Supreme Court declined to take up an emergency stay called for by Republicans, allowing Pennsylvania to count absentee ballots received as late as the Friday after Election Day, so long as they are postmarked by Nov. 3. The court allowed this by a 4-4 split, and we all know what that means. Amy Coney Barrett could be the only vote Donald Trump needs to buy this year, however, if she’s caught it could stymie her future handmaidenly endeavours. Even Joe Biden might be ready to pack the court after that.
If Amy Coney Barrett doesn’t come through, Donald Trump is going to have to shoot his way out of the White House, or at least he needs Bill Barr to cover him while he makes a break for it. History will prosecute those that didn’t prosecute Trump when they had a chance.
Mon, 19 October 2020
Hundreds of thousands of non-conforming individualists at the Sturgis rally followed each other off the coronavirus cliff, superspreading across some red states and leaving a tab for $12.2 billion for the rest of us. On his upcoming Fox Network flagship promotional tour… or possibly auditioning to be Alex Jones’ sidekick, Donald Trump sows Covid like a dipshit Johnny Appleseed. The U.S. records over 70,000 cases in one day for the first time since July, and Governors haven’t been clued into how they’ll distribute vaccines even when they do get one.
Dems are in array with each other, but also with Never Trumpers, Recently Not Trumpers, and Undecided, But Not Really Trumpers, leaving Kirstie Alley, maybe Matt “Rick” Gaetz and a few others. Joe Biden leads Trump like Hillary did, but a lot better. Donald is running out of battleground states to battle in. Trump is in trouble unless he can cure the pandemic and resuscitate 300,000 people in the next 14 days. Manufacturing Hunter Biden stories just won’t do it.
Fri, 16 October 2020
It’s Friday! That’s the day David Waldman welcomes coffee enhanced Ian Reifowitz, author of The Tribalization of Politics: How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump (Two new hardcover copies would make attractive bookends in your Reifowitz-themed library!)
Last night NBC essentially retweeted crazy Uncle Donald’s far-right, conspiratorial bull pellets which could only be palatable to his base. Ian explains why Biden is crushing Trump among women. Biden’s town hall is crushing Low T’s in ratings.
Donald Trump was warned repeatedly about Rudy Colludy Giuliani being utilized as a Russian stooge, but actually kind of liked that about him. The guy that handed the laptop off to Rudy can’t keep his stories straight, but did bring Seth Rich back into the lunatic conversation. The FBI is finally getting involved — to investigate the links to foreign agents. This does not bode well for Rudy. Has anything ever boded well for Rudy?
Get out the vote for Joe Biden and David will have more time to cover stories like the alleged trespassing, anti-semitic, sexting, death-threatening, booze-cookie eating news anchor/Guilfoyle doppelganger vs. the Mayor of Anchorage!
Thu, 15 October 2020
NBC news running the Donald Trump disinfomercial tonight to make some money. Who knows what Donald hopes to get out of it. Trump’s polling hasn’t recovered from the last debate. He sure could use some money however, so perhaps it will be more of a telethon.
COVID-19 is death and the White House is doubling down on it. If you’re giving out coronavirus on Halloween and Thanksgiving, it just might save you a lot on your Christmas gift shopping. A Sweet 16 party in New York was made unforgettable for at least the 37 infected and the 270 in quarantine. The real parties are being thrown by insiders that knew than with White House lamebrains in charge, it was time to sell short. The Biden campaign cancelled Kamala Harris’s travel through Sunday after her communications director tested positive. Meanwhile, Donald Trump personally breathed on each person in Air Force One. Commercial aircraft are pretty safe already, with a heap of HEPA, but could be made even more safe by countering your air gasper with theirs.
November 3rd is weeks away! Joe Biden is not out of the woods yet, slipping to… a double digit lead. Iiiiffff Joe Biden wins, the fight doesn’t end. 64 elected prosecutors, including 10 state AGs, pledged not to criminalize abortion even if the Trump Supreme Court guts or overturns Roe v. Wade.
Wed, 14 October 2020
Welcome to the middle of the week, the middle of October, the middle of ...
Donald Trump has handled top issue facing the country the worst. Coronavirus has hit Americans financially and emotionally. Worst yet for Trump, journalists are not immune. About 75,000 more Americans died than had been reported in the spring and summer. Small gatherings are causing new COVID-19 infections, just in time for Thanksgiving. The White House promotes herd immunity, as recommended by non-living people. Alaska is no longer a member of the "Under 10K Club”, as thousands of younger Alaskans get sick with COVID-19. The Sturgis wave continues to cross the US. Germans avoided coronavirus like they avoided unemployment. Michigan passes some midnight Covid bills.
Quick, read up about Rudy Colludy Giuliani’s October surprise before they open the windows and it fades away. It’s not weird that there would be issues with a New York Post story, or that it contain lies and omissions, but why are people that should know better by now being suckered by it? Trump’s corrupt schemes to save himself keep blowing up in his face. Trump’s “unmasking probe” ends without charges, or a public report, and probably without William Barr soon. Think of how much easier this would have been for Trump with just one more Supreme Court Judge.
Tue, 13 October 2020
Today, David Waldman, "OG filibuster buster", talks with Eli Zupnick, former communications director for Senator Patty Murray, and soldier in the growing anti-filibuster armies mobilizing to defend democracy! For 45 minutes!
Donald Trump... You know the guy — some think he’s Jesus, he thinks he’s Superman? Sadly, Donald hasn’t tried flying or walking on water yet, but he has returned to breathing upon his tightly corralled flock. News outlets aren’t true believers, however, and are pulling any journalists they might need in the future.
No joke: During yesterday’s debate, Amy McGrath described how Mitch McConnell let hundreds of thousands die and millions suffer from COVID-19 and McConnell just sat there and laughed like a Goddamned supervillain.
The more killing toys you give cops, the more they want to play with them.
Mon, 12 October 2020
Hey, folks with investable income, it is so nice of you to invest it here. As we have become more “independent” lately we have become more dependent on you. David Waldman has some grand panegyric planned for the near future, but I can already sum it up: Thanks!
Amy Coney Barrett’s confirmation hearings might be the last opportunity for some in Congress to take a swing at each other, and no one is passing up on that chance. This might be Republicans last big win for a while, but for conservatives, that win will be plenty. Mike Lee uses his breath to own the Libs, but Senator Kennedy’s smells worse.
Michigan previews how far Republican judges will go to obstruct Democrats in office.
If Hillary Clinton was president, we’d be down to 7 Supreme Court justices, but whatever. The people of our next 6 states should have something to say about that.
Donald Trump takes Covid back on the road, hoping to super-spread the maximum number of sites before November 3rd. Working only from the White House, Trump managed to knock off another 9/11’s worth already. Dr. Sean Conley says Donald is a new man, although Dr. Conley just isn’t who he used to be.
Greg Dworkin wondered if the polls might widen, rather than tighten. He need not wonder any more. The money is not on Trump, or many Republicans anymore. It’s on who can get us out of Trump’s mess. Undecided voters remain the dumbest people in America, but more importantly, are fading in importance. Everybody wants to be Never Trump now.
In California, Republicans own libs by owning themselves and by maybe committing felonies. A legal fight over how to fix problems in mail ballots in North Carolina is holding up votes, half of them from people of color.
Pete Buttigieg teaches every Democrat how to address the issue of late term abortions.
The Latino message is getting out there.
Fri, 9 October 2020
A little post-bar mitzvah-anniversary pierogi hangover/internet disruption couldn’t stop David Cobweb Waldman from delivering today’s KITM! Not with Screamin’ Ian Reifowitz set to join him for the opening hour! (Remember to buy The Tribalization of Politics: How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump... Why not try handing out individual pages in lieu of sugary treats this Halloween?)
Ian’s here to talk marginal tax rates, civic nationalism, and how investing in each other’s well being is the right thing to do, strategically, morally, and patriotically. Bothsidesism is no doubt tempting for cowards, but actually bad for everyone.
Nancy Pelosi and Jamie Raskin introduced a bill today to form a commission to rule on the president's fitness for office. Donald Trump isn’t fit for anything. No one has been making that point better than Donald Trump. A little R&R — Regeneron and Remesdivir (Remesdivir — brought to you by Legal Abortion™), a syringe or two of steroids, etc., and Trump feels OH SO ready to take on the world, one indictment at a time. Trump’s cabinet is beginning to betray his reign, however. William Barr had to explain to Donald that the Durham report probably won’t arrive before the election. Who knows, maybe it was held up in the mail. Fox is no help anymore...
Thu, 8 October 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin deliver a brand-new KITM. Only 18 more until the election!
If you aren’t happy that Donald Trump caught Covid, you should be. Donald Trump is delighted. In fact, it may be the most courageous act a president has undertaken. Take that, Lincoln! Now that “Owning the Libs” now means catching the coronavirus, Chris Christie is a hero who may soon head to troll Valhalla. More mead, no Remdesivir for him! Crede Bailey, White House’s security office head, caught Covid, but didn’t get the joke.
The Cleveland debate has reported 11 COVID-19 cases, so far. Abbott’s rapid tests were good for getting into a quick meeting at the White House, but not much else. Gold Star families became cannon fodder for Covid. The celebrants at the Ruth Bader Ginsburg death shindigs are still out on the streets killing more people. Help identify them.
Donald Trump won’t be wasting our time with another debate, because this would be “a virtual debate”. (As if the last debate was “a real debate”) Well, if it was good enough for Nixon… sometimes doesn’t apply in Trump’s case.
Who needs leadership anyhow? Senator Mike Lee sees no need for democracy. Missouri Governor Michael Parson sees no need for laws. The FBI found some ready to overthrow the government, and kidnap Governor Gretchen Whitmer.
Wed, 7 October 2020
Welcome to the NEW AND IMPROVED Kagro in the Morning! Now brought to you by… Kagro in the Morning! And by David Waldman, and today by Greg Dworkin! And as always, by Me! (I should be in the credits somewhere... I contribute!… I am a Contributor!) And, by you. Let’s take this show somewhere!
Donald Trump is a LOSER. As more Americans understand this, the chances of Trump being a 2020 presidential election loser go up as well. Is it his deadly Covid response? His terrifying debate performance? His Jesus meets Evita fake return from the dead? His insecure sociopathic, self-aggrandizing, willful endangerment of our military, his staff and anyone else? His high AF stimulus negotiations? All those bloodhounds nipping at his heels? Or is it that Donald Trump is just a loser? Hmm. Could be!
The undertow around Trump is immense, taking Martha McSally off guard, as well as plenty of others that frankly should have seen it coming. Even West Virginia slides from deep red to half as deep red.
Undecided voters are the dumbest people in America, no contest. But, shhh, don’t say anything, maybe tonight’s Vice Presidential debate will sway them. The debate itself is being handled as stupidly as could be imagined, with spit guards smaller than a salad bar’s. It is a shame that the technology as yet does not allow debaters to sit more than 6 feet apart.
Stephen Miller reminds us to always sanitize our crosses and wooden stakes. Jeff Sessions and Rod Rosenstein demanded that children be taken from parents. Those two are destined to burn in Hell, yet at this moment haven’t caught Covid. No Hell or Covid for Mark and Patricia McCloskey either, but they will be going to jail. Donald Trump has presently escaped all three, but it’s still up for grabs who’ll get him first.
Tue, 6 October 2020
Never fear, David Waldman and KITM is here:
Monday: it’s like a
So, after 3 days, (See what he did there?) Donald Trump returned, somehow younger and stupider than ever. White House staff do fear the reaper, but figure it’s a living, until it isn’t, as Herman Cain can attest. Bob Woodward advised Trump on how to mobilize against the spread of the coronavirus spread, which went as expected. The White House will not be tracing contacts from their Ruth Bader Ginsburg death celebration.
Joan McCarter reports that the House passed a slimmed-down version at $2.2 trillion of the HEROES Act, which Mitch McConnell has refused to take up. Instead, he is attempting to expedite Amy Coney Barrett’s confirmation. After all, that’s what he’s paid to do. Of course you realize, this means war.
Mon, 5 October 2020
There’s almost no sanity and intelligence left in the world, yet David Waldman and Greg Dworkin have some to share today.
Donald Trump is a sick, sick man, obviously. But who really knows how sick Trump really is? Dr. Sean “Spin” Conley got in costume and lied all weekend to keep Trump’s Covid from becoming too confident. Even Maggie Haberman noticed a fib or two. Donald was propped up to strongly, relentlessly lie, then followed with a victory lap around the hospital, some say riding on the back of a winged stallion. Republicans whistle through a graveyard of their own making. Things are moving so fast that Mark Meadows isn’t sure if it is time to glad-hand or backstab.
It is tough being an idiot leading a team of idiots. It is harder to cover up sick old politicians’ infirmities, and plenty will be coming along soon even without the help of coronavirus. Three Republican Senators in quarantine gives Democrats some interesting new options.
Fri, 2 October 2020
Well, surprise, surprise, surprise! Kimberly Guilfoyle displays her genitalia (and other’s) to folks around the office, Melania Trump declares war on Christmas, (and kids), and... well, neither of those stories really merited discussion on Friday’s KITM. Today, the story is the October surprise that can not be a surprise to anyone: Donald and Melania Trump have finally tested positive for Covid-19. (Purportedly). Donald Trump seems to have let his hydroxychloroquine prescription lapse and now he has a case of the Trump virus.
David Waldman is joined by surprise Friday guest Greg Dworkin, and historian/author Ian Reifowitz (Surprise your friends and relatives! Buy them each a copy of The Tribalization of Politics: How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump) to discuss events as they were reported today.
Should Joe Biden, whose caution and wisdom has so far kept him safe, suspend his campaign because Donald Trump is an idiot? Trump wouldn’t have done it for him. When it was just Hope Hicks, the White House wasn’t about to tell anyone. Of course, it was never “just Hope Hicks”. There were a million before her, led by Infector in Chief, Donald Trump. Trump’s Dr. Nick Riviera assures us that Donald will have this thing licked before tee time, but what about the puny weaklings he breathed upon, including jurist in waiting, Amy Barrett?
Amazon says over 19,000 of its workers tested positive for COVID-19, and tells us that’s good news.
You never know, there might still be an election. The one thing we don’t need is Republican tax cuts.
Darwin H.M., @Darwin_Darko on Twitter, reports that the House will vote on a bipartisan bill named after slain Fort Hood soldier Vanessa Guillén, that is designed to help victims report sexual assault and sexual harassment in the military. Darwin reviews the history of the Vanessa Guillen Murder which gave impetus to the bill.
Thu, 1 October 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin bring us a whole lot of the latest:
Donald Trump was a bullying jerk in Tuesday’s debate, surprising no one, except perhaps his debate crew, who still long for the cheerfully bullying jerk they remember from 2016. Trump plotted to trigger Joe Biden’s stutter in the last debate and will only increase his efforts in the future. The next debate in 6 days will be a “town hall” style and they will be muting Donald’s microphone, so expect the miming to be at Phillie Phanatic levels behind Joe.
ACA and naked overt racism remain on the ballot this month, along with Trump’s calls for voter intimidation. Pennsylvania for one, won’t let him get away with it. A Pro-Trump faux-militia gang has recruited thousands of police, soldiers, and veterans to raise hell.
It’s tough out there for Republicans. Thom Tillis is to debate Democratic challenger Cal Cunningham tonight. Ted Cruz gave Thom a knife to the ribs for luck. Obamacare support has hit a record high, and Chuck Schumer will force a vote on one-line legislation barring the Justice Department from seeking the invalidation of any part of the Affordable Care Act.
Wilbur Ross plans to change the course of US government for a decade, and a Federal judge suggests that she may do something about it.
The $300 million taxpayer-funded “Cheer up, it’s only a pandemic” ad campaign/boondoggle managed to attract only Dennis Quaid, CeCe Winans and Hasidic singer Shulem Lemmer... and by this point Dennis is beginning to consider this as more of a “Randy” vehicle. Turkey lowers its COVID-19 numbers, by lowering its COVID-19 numbers. In the US, Covid has killed 1 out of 1,000 Black Americans and 1 out of 1,500 Floridians. You’ll never hear that from Donald Trump.
The Agriculture Department mandates that each of the millions of boxes of surplus food also contain a thank you note to Donald Trump.
Wed, 30 September 2020
Unfortunately, we live in the present. Fortunately, we can share this moment with this David Waldman and Greg Dworkin. This week, some journalists will attempt to both-sides, and pundits will attempt to grade on a curve, but the reality is Trump was losing going into the debate, and losing worse coming out of it, and the people that matter understand this. But, how much do “undecided” voters matter? Forced by facts further into denial, shy Trump voters become shier. Racists, on the other hand, locked, loaded… and are standing by.
After all that, there’s still a pandemic going on. Virginia’s Ralph and Pamela Northam already lost the debate. Missouri Governor Mike Parson and his wife, Teresa did too, but but had hoped to sneak behind the virus’ back over to their annual fall festival. The Department of Health and Human Services will spend more than $300 million to Bagdad Bob us out of COVID-19 — Starring Dennis Quaid!
Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman are up to their old hijinx — witness harassment, criminal contempt, and obstruction of justice. Will the FBI ever catch them boys?
Meanwhile, nonpartisan campaign finance watchdog group notes that wife-beating Brad Parscale helped the Trump campaign launder $170 million dollars, keeping, say, "x" dollars to himself. Brad also picked up some $40 million from reelection committees, and might not have put much down.
A grand juror says the Kentucky Attorney General should disclose Breonna Taylor’s grand jury records.
We have already discussed the sororal commitment and heritage of Alpha Kappa Alpha, David now tells about the fraternal ties of Alpha Phi Alpha.
Tue, 29 September 2020
David Waldman returns, atoned, rested, and ready for a live KITM.
Are we underestimating Donald Trump going into the debate? Trump has underperformed to everyone’s estimation his entire life, however Donald also has a lifetime of experience covering up his shortcomings. Today is probably Trump’s last chance, and deep beneath those shark eyes, he knows it. Not that Trump plans to start putting effort into achieving things. It’s just that the money from his Mark Burnett hustle is long gone, and most of Vlad’s checks are still in the mail. Times are tough.
Then there’s the tens of thousands of Americans Trump killed. Face masks might be helping people reach Covid-19 immunity. Meanwhile, new Coronavirus strains are eliminating the advantage of wearing masks. If only so many people would quit incubating it! Instead the Gop fights to eliminate the ACA.
Trump rescues the firms being sued for opioid pushing, by feeding them COVID-19 contracts.
Wilbur Ross stops the Census — better luck next decade!
Joan McCarter calls in to request that Ruth Bader Ginsberg’s seat, and the Supreme Court be saved from Trump, but he pretty much already captured that goal, and is now heading toward having his new Trump Supreme Court install him after the election. Democrats batten down their hatches and aim for safe harbor. Oh, and they still need to save the economy with a COVID-19 stimulus bill.
Mon, 28 September 2020
Today, David Waldman has been strongly self-reflecting on a huge, beautiful fast. Can you imagine what even one day of self-examination and atonement would do for Donald Trump?
Democrats hit the ground crawling in their efforts to decelerate Mitch McConnell’s Supreme Court confirmation process, perhaps not to halt it, but at least to slow it down long enough for examination.
Everybody long expected to see a SWAT team tackle Brad Parscale shirtless and drunk in his driveway, but the hope always was that it would be something cheerful, and RICO oriented, not sad and involving spousal abuse. Everyone knew Michael Caputo had some problems, but now it turns out that he had even more.
Fri, 25 September 2020
A well-informed electorate is a prerequisite for Democracy. David Waldman welcomes us advanced students to today’s KITM.
The only thing keeping Rush Limbaugh going nowadays is his knowledge that The Tribalization of Politics: How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump hasn’t yet sold out. Its author, Ian Reifowitz, gives us a lift in the KITM company DeLorean, back hundreds of years into to the time of Adams and Jefferson, and then back to the future with a stop at FDR to witness the many instances in which the number of Supreme Court judges have been changed, only merely to achieve “a political goal” — but sometimes to restore the country to a more just timeline.
While we’re at it, let’s wipe out Republican gerrymandering and demolish their farm system which yielded today’s far-right Senate. How? Well, you know, by giving money to the good guys to win the election. Trump might lose the election because there might be more good people around since 2016. How many good people does it take to win an election? Let’s find out.
Thu, 24 September 2020
David Waldman gives it all he’s got for today’s KITM. After that, we’re on our own. (Until Friday’s show.)
Yesterday, Donald Trump announced... what he has announced since the beginning of his term, that he wasn’t interested in being president, that he was taking over. That can’t be a surprise to anyone at this point, with the exception of the New York Times, and even they read the papers sometimes.
Still, the polls are as rock steady as always… and yet increasingly better. Greg Dworkin leads us through the paradox of polling undecideds — how would anyone know if they don’t? It also helps pollsters to know what to ask. Unfortunately for Trump, red states like Georgia, Iowa and Texas still have women voting. Girl Scouts found a way to lure people to the polls. On the other hand, maybe strippers could convince even more voters to get out to the poles. Trump might be just giving up in some states. Donald should give up on any memorials, of any kind — not even his face on a gift card.
Your Lana Marks handbag isn’t set to be a collector’s item anymore.
Asymptomatic Covid-19 carrier/Missouri Governor Mike Parson makes his wife sick.
No one wants Benjamin Netanyahu to crash at their place. He brings his laundry and the futon smells for weeks.
Wed, 23 September 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin pack our lunch bag-arsenal and send us on our way:
The closer Republicans get to losing power, the more unabashedly they abuse power. They and their supporters are going to lose a lot, so they don’t mind destroying it all. It is up to Democrats to rebuild everything. The Gop wasn’t doing much with America anyhow, other than riding it into the ground. That, and placing a reactionary judicial system that will be in place until we’re all dead…
Win or lose, Donald Trump will never concede the election. He sure won’t let people voting make him leave. Still, there’s no reason to make it easier for him by screwing up your ballot... although those rules might be changed after you voted. Dubai introduces “the Catch 22” of vote invalidation, as by incredible coincidence, just last week a French-Canadian woman, angered at the lack of “Made in USA” products, somehow located ricin and sent it to a White House mail room.
The Gop could be looking into that conspiracy, but instead Senator Ron Johnson spent months sweeping up the same old news on Hunter Biden, which will get repackaged, lit on fire and placed on our doorstep by William Barr and John Durham in a couple of weeks. A nationwide “QAnon strategy” is being employed by Republicans in ads already.
Killing 200,000 people has not built trust in Donald Trump’s future handling of the Covid pandemic. Colleges and universities knew the risks, and still did the wrong thing. It was predictable that money to buy masks and ventilators wouldn’t get there, that’s why Katie Porter predicted it.
Tue, 22 September 2020
Summer ends, and not a minute too soon. Here’s hoping our fall turns out to be less “2020” than the rest of the year.
David Waldman and Joan McCarter are here to catch us:
Donald Trump and William Barr want to gentrify anarchist Jurisdictions in Portland, NYC and Seattle into something a bit more autocratic. Barr redacted away Trump’s impeachment conviction. Mueller’s team could have done more, but that would have just made Trump mad.
A PR official at the National Institutes of Health was secretly a member of the deep RedState.
Senator Lisa Murkowski believes fair to be fair, and for Republicans that’s heresy. Susan Collins is troubled and concerned, and testy that just isn’t enough anymore. Lindsey Graham was so furious after winning the previous SCOTUS installment, He decided that he would destroy his reputation and career to win one again. Finally, Mitt Romney thrust his conscientious, upright finger back into the breeze and detected a whole new precedent. So now Republicans now know their vote days before they know who they are voting on. The only one steadfast to principles would be Amy Coney Barrett, although interested in being a Supreme Court Justice, law really isn’t her thing. That’s more for the head of her household to worry about.
This is all causing a tsunami of a blue wave, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Want to get in on backing Daily Kos-endorsed Democrats? Follow this link to a convenient donation page containing all of the endorsed candidates, designed for easy donation that can be split any way you choose! And — if you want to donate to win back the Senate follow this link!
Mon, 21 September 2020
Ruth Bader Ginsburg is gone, and will receive honors Donald Trump never should. “May her memory be a blessing,” as we are reminded to say. No time to grieve or reflect, as jackals had already began to descend within hours. Republicans smell blood, and some are hungry for more. Nancy Pelosi vows to use “every arrow” in the house’s quiver to stop them. But what can she, or anyone do? Lindsey Graham and the Gop don’t mind when you use their words against them, they know they’ve always been worthless. Trump will be even more Trump until one day, it’s like a miracle...
Joe Biden might be exactly the person this moment needed to keep RBG from becoming the Franz Ferdinand of American politics. Democrats are viewed as the party better able to handle the top problem... whatever the problem is. Trump is even losing ground with white voters. Biden has taken a huge cash lead over Trump while outspending him 2 to 1. Small-dollar donors have now given $100 million on ActBlue since 8 p.m. ET Friday.
Fri, 18 September 2020
It’s finally Friday! That’s the day when Ian Reifowitz joins David Waldman for the first half of KITM! Buy Ian’s latest book, “How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump”. Ian has never allowed his work to be censored or expurgated, so you can rest assured that all of Ian’s cusses have been left verbatim.
Joe Biden showed Trump how town halls are done last night. Bill O’Reilly attributes Biden’s success to Joe’s photographic memory. In fact, many Republicans believe Democrats have been rigging the system for years by running smart people for office.
Olivia Troye, former homeland security adviser and lead staffer on the White House's coronavirus task force, realized she couldn’t dig the US out as fast as Donald Trump could bury it, so now she’s endorsing Joe Biden. Betsy Devos’s former chief of staff has joined a group of anti-Trump Republicans as an adviser.
At least 15 Trump officials do not hold their positions lawfully, like that matters. Jared Kushner is as sociopathic as any Trump, taking control of the US coronavirus response to make certain there wasn’t any US coronavirus response. Everyone from foreign governments to federal contractors are directed to line Trump pockets—sometimes without even knowing it. A payroll company owned by Rudy Giuliani got a couple hundred thousand in taxpayer-backed emergency small business loans without bother to have any employees.
Thu, 17 September 2020
David Waldman presents a brand-new, Thursday KITM. News, entertainment, with just a little added touch of sedition:
Whites might crack, but at least their vote is more elastic. Nobody’s falling for the “Tough on Crime” message being delivered by criminals. Does Joe Biden have a Latino problem or a Latino Q problem?
The more it looks like Donald Trump might be leaving, the more it looks like he might be staying. The election will be contested. Is the FEC, 50 state election security offices, the DHS Election Security division, the U.S. Election Assistance Commission, the FBI Foreign Influence Task Force and Dan Coats enough? Probably not. David looks into the procedures in place that will be thrown out the White House window with the couches and drapes on November 4.
No one will help Ron Johnson deliver his phoney baloney October Surprise. Mitt Romney did for a while, but after recently putting his morally upright finger in the air, he determined the breeze had shifted. Bill Barr has been working to take up the slack, and hates it when the hired help aren’t fascistic patriots like him. Barr understands the pain that Arby’s managers and slaves have felt.
Chief of staff Mark Meadows says CDC Director Dr. Robert Redfield couldn’t know about a vaccine, because it’s a surprise. Donald Trump has contacted the military to distribute it with M-16s and hypodermic darts.
Wed, 16 September 2020
If David Waldman and Greg Dworkin didn’t tell you it this morning, you didn’t need to hear it:
Have you herd? Several decades late, and Donald Trump is worrying what waitstaff might be adding to his food. Donald showed what he was made of, two weeks before the debate, in a town hall meeting on ABC. No one said there would be questions! Joe Biden will do a town hall tomorrow, in case anyone needs to compare and contrast.
Trump has already lost the debate on handling the pandemic, in the past or in the future. It’s not the vaccine that’s scary, it’s that the pusher lies and doesn’t care what happens to us. He’s lost the economy, although he doesn’t know that yet. That leaves foreign policy. There is peace between Israel and Canada now… and Bahrain, and the United Arab Emirates, so what more do you want? Of course, if they come to the table wearing face masks the whole deal’s off. And Footballs back, so that fixes everything.
Jason Miller might need to go somewhere else for his child support payments. Miller makes $20,000 a month doing something with Steve Bannon, and another $35,000 a month doing this and that, here and there. Save up. Making license plates will pay less. It turns out that Steven KG Bannon produces bogus anti-China Covid studies. Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman shouldn’t even be eligible for parole, and yet here they are, out there impersonating the FBI, running troll farms, etc.
Anyone want to help Mike Pompeo’s wife fill out Christmas cards? She might need more volunteers this year.
Tue, 15 September 2020
David Waldman, in depth, in context, and in your ears with a tap of a button:
Democratic insiders are assembling a “war room” to take out the 60 vote rule on the Senate filibuster. Sen. Dianne Feinstein, next in line to lead the Judiciary Committee, says “whaa… huh?” That’s certainly not the way she remembers… what were we talking about again? David does remember it differently... in that he does remember it. You got to hope someone on the inside might think to listen outside for advisement for this.
Smart rich person Bill Gates warned people about pandemics for years, and is pretty bummed that idiots are running things right now. Scientific American makes its first presidential endorsement in 175 years. Donald Trump doesn’t think those eggheads are that smart anyhow. If things were so hard to figure out, would he have put his moron son-in-law in charge of all of them?
Sure, the US might be aiding in Saudi war crimes. Think of how many atrocities we could commit if we let Donald just be Donald. Michael Caputo is locked, loaded, and insane. Chad Wolf isn’t secretary, or even acting secretary of Homeland Security, and that name can’t be real either.
No one unites the twin scourges of police brutality and pandemic disease spread quite like ICE detention facilities, and yet now they have managed to cross into Filipino horror movie status, by executing mass hysterectomies on prisoners.
Joan McCarter reports that not much is happening in DC… and that’s the problem. It's been 120 days since the House passed the HEROES Act, and it's under 20 days until the government runs out of funding, but Mitch McConnell’s out of here in a month or two, so what does he care? While Mitch plays the press and runs out the clock, Nancy Pelosi digs in, and figures out how to save the country.
Mon, 14 September 2020
David Waldman doesn’t come to this with an agenda. Why, KITM barely has an itinerary!
Hey, remember Lana Marks? We were just talking about the bronze medalist, handbag designing Bermuda refugee, Mar-a-Lago founding actress, slash American ambassador to South Africa, now target of Iranian assassins… What’s she been up to lately?
Greg Dworkin’s got the polls! Those polls are pretty nice. Joe Biden is likely to beat Donald Trump... but no promises! Is the race tightening, non-tightening, loosening, non-loosening? It’s not, really. It’s steady. Polls would have to actually change for Donald Trump to win, and the longer they stay steady, the more radical that change would need to be. Right now, Fivey Fox sez he wouldn’t be surprised if Joe won. In fact, every minute brings us closer to Nate Silver being 100% correct.
White women, old folks, and military families are inching away from Trump. Republicans are inching away from being Republican. The lunatics at the core are tough nuts to crack. Trump has pretty much given up talking to regular people, as even he knows crazy people will be his only chance as long as there are any left by November.
Meanwhile, the White House hurries to to get the fix in. An elected prosecutor on Trump’s commission on law enforcement has resigned, along with a prosecutor on the Durham investigation. A court-appointed adviser to the Judge in Michael Flynn’s case sees only corruption motivating the move to drop the case. Trump had people altering CDC reports to match his statements. It will take years to figure out all the ways Donald Trump screwed us.
Fri, 11 September 2020
It’s Friday, and David Waldman wasn’t available to “do it live”, but that didn’t keep him from still delivering the expected quality of KITM to our ears, while also exceeding expectations with his roster of guests.
Ian Reifowitz, author of The Tribalization of Politics: How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump (purchase a dozen or more copies, which when arranged into a “cornucopia” will produce an attractive autumn centerpiece), calls in to chat on how how Donald Trump will kill us all, with the help of right-wing white supremacist terrorists. Tom Friedman asserts that if Joe Biden can turn enough cheeks, wade into enough hecklers, and absorb enough Trump humiliation, he’d earn the respect of Applebee’s diners across the nation. Well, maybe not, but perhaps if we came together to reject racism, we could eliminate it as a weapon of the rich. Even some Republicans are tired of being humiliated.
Darwin H.M., @Darwin_Darko to many, updates us on the legal battle for transgender service in the military. Trump and Mike Pence banned transgender individuals from service, like they tried to get rid of Stars and Stripes magazine, and you know how that went for them, and there is hope for a similar retreat from the ban.
The Trump campaign lost a billion bucks it really didn’t deserve anyhow, while Joe Biden was out there virtually picking up some actual cash. The rich aren’t exactly like you and me, but no one turns down a free trip to Europe. One guy’s choice of favorite musical got him picked for an ambassadorship, although it didn’t work out because someone with even bluer blood (and Hollywood connections) was in contention.
Susan Page, future moderator of the upcoming vice presidential debate between Mike Pence and Kamala Harris, spent about 3 grand of her own money to throw a “girls night” party for Seema Verma, who spent more than $3.5 million of your money on Gop consultants.
Thu, 10 September 2020
The only panic Donald Trump wanted quelled was his own, when he couldn’t find the courage to tell America of the danger he knew was bearing down them. Donald Trump knew, before a single American died.
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin find a way through accumulated detritus of rage and grief to talk us through 2 hours.
Why didn’t Bob Woodward tell us? Did it take this long for Bob to realize Trump was that much of a bastard? Donald Trump complained that his generals cared more about our allies than his trade deals. He said “fuck Nelson Mandela”... and all ungrateful Black people, for that matter. He wouldn’t mind killing everyone in South Korea, and he almost killed everyone in North Korea. Sooner or later, Donald Trump will kill us all.
As a matter of fact, there were plenty of people who could have told us about this earlier, but… the money is really good, even when one has a lot of money already. David wanders down the KITM rabbit hole following U.S. ambassador/sycophant Lana Marks, and the equally suspect U.S. ambassador/Mar-a-Lago founder, Robin Bernstein.
The former chief of intelligence at the Department of Homeland Security says Chad Wolf, Ken Cuccinelli and others made the news out of the DHS a lot more Russian and white-friendly. Russians have been caught hacking the Biden campaign.
The Republican party isn’t worth saving. Few Republicans are at this point. These revelations could still move a few however, and any convert is good... Maybe even evangelicals are finally seeing the light? There might be sociopathic trolling Trump voters, but there are no shy Trump voters.
Wed, 9 September 2020
Did we just make it to Wednesday,...or did Wednesday make it to us? Aren’t we only “The Hump” after all? David Waldman answers… well maybe not those questions, but many others:
Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. Some say election laws will not suffice. But, if we’d just follow “norms”… oh we’re f’cked. If the Founding Fathers didn’t want a president to rape and pillage they could have said so.
Greg Dworkin delivers the anticipated “crap-ton” of of post-Labor Day polls, and as also anticipated, Joe Biden holds his consistent lead, month by month, week by week, day by day, hour by hour... BUT! It’s competitive in Florida! It’s competitive in Minnesota! Ohio! Georgia! Pennsylvania! Trump could ride that Nobel to a Susan Sarandon landslide!
Can the press tell the difference between what Donald Trump says, and what he “says”? Some think Trump sounds better in the original German, while more sane Trump voters just don’t want to hear him talk anymore. The fall school debacle is just beginning. A pre-election vaccine isn’t coming because drug companies prefer to not kill their customers. Miracles take time.
Tue, 8 September 2020
You can bet safety never got in the way of fun at the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally, and their 2020 event appears to be accountable for 250,000 cases of COVID-19 at a public cost of $12 billion, almost 20% of the recent cases.
Donald might have pissed off Sheldon Adelson to the point of losing out on Adelson’s nine-figure checks. This would be kind of bummer for anyone, but the Trump campaign could’ve really used the cash, as it seems to have lost about $800 million between here and the parking lot. Donald Trump might be forced to spend “his own money” now, heh heh… There was a time when Trump’s dollar gap could’ve be filled with rubles, but Vlad owes him a bit less each day.
Nancy Pelosi and Steven Mnuchin might have a plan to avert yet another government shutdown, if only they can coax Mitch McConnell out of his shell.
Teachers and students need to be focused on staying healthy to continue to learn. Betsy DeVos isn’t particularly interested about any of that.
Mon, 7 September 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin report on the Trump White House’ corruption and stupidity, along with maybe a few things you didn’t expect.
Donald Trump golfed this weekend. He was casually misogynist, racist, classist… He lied, cheated, abused trust… He insulted everybody he came across, or went behind, unless he felt like flattering them with transparent insincerity. He routinely broke the law this weekend, and took as much as he could. Everyone knows that’s true, so Donald Trump would of course call veterans “losers and suckers”. Why wouldn’t he?
6 months ago Kellyanne Conway lied to and intimidated reporters.
52 years ago Richard Nixon ran on Law and Order yet didn’t feel laws applied to him. That strategy might not work this time. This conversation will return to concern about COVID. Joe Biden continues to lead, and will continue to lead. Millions under the age of 25 are registering to keep it that way.
Fri, 4 September 2020
It’s Friday, and that’s the day David Waldman brings in author and professor Ian Reifowitz (BUY The Tribalization of Politics: How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump. LABOR DAY SPECIAL: SAME LOW PRICE!)
In Donald Trump’s opinion, Americans that get killed in war are losers, and Americans that get themselves dispatched to wars are suckers. Donald Trump can not resist giving his opinions to everyone, all the time, so you’d have to be willfully ignorant or deluded to not understand how Donald Trump disdains all who aren’t more rich and powerful than he is.
In Trump’s world, physical labor, hard work, and military service are punishments meted out to those not crafty enough to avoid them. Any service for which more is given than received is inherently senseless to him. Therefore, people who have served their country have a duty to go on the record about this, and more are trying to, before Donald Trump can lie his way out.
Ian has much to say on the subject. Several of his adjectives could be bleeped out by the time they reach your podcast, but you can understand Ian’s imperative. Trump supports hate by ignoring right-wing white supremacist violence. White vigilantes have always had a friend In police, and now they have collaborators. Donald Trump and William Barr step it up by defunding cities and the police.
The best thing to happen to Joe Biden’s candidacy might have been Donald Trump’s impeachment.
Thu, 3 September 2020
We’re set to reach 200,000 COVID-19 deaths by Labor Day, or 9/11… if you are counting excess deaths we passed that a long time ago… or if you are an idiot, we are at 6% of any of that. Any way you count it, we aren’t quite at the end of the world. (That’s months away.)
In the meantime, we have David Waldman and Greg Dworkin to entertain and inform us:
Donald Trump is encouraging North Carolinians to vote early, and late, and often. This will help test the system. (Donald is known to be an ardent system-tester.) You can post Biden-Harris campaign signs in your Animal Crossing front yards! Maybe the Trump campaign can work something out with some different game?
Donald Trump is a loser. Many are afraid to say it, but this is not a close race. Joe Biden leads, like he always has, and that is likely to continue. Moreover, Donald Trump is losing, like he always has, and that is likely to continue. That is why it will be such a bummer when Trump’s still president. Joe Biden will have to win the popular vote by at least 6 points to reduce the chance of hearing Nate Silver’s 2021 “Well actually, I said Donald Trump always had a chance of winning” down to 2%.
Lindsey Graham won’t have the Electoral College to save him.
Instead of eliminating the filibuster, maybe it can be flipped to incentivize not using it?
Still, more Republicans and white people plan to vote Biden, perhaps because they feel there’s more of a chance of still having white people and Republicans if they vote for Joe. Some white people will always want to keep white people in charge, even if there is nothing left. Glen “Wild” Clay Higgins represents those people. Clay is ready to drop Black protesters right where they stand. He compares abortion to the Holocaust, and the Holocaust to… military spending? Facebook believes that Higgins sometimes incites violence.
Witnesses describe the night Kyle Rittenhouse opened fire during protests after the shooting of Jacob Blake in Kenosha. Kyle’s lawyer figures that after a mass shooter’s first shot, all the rest is self defense.
Wed, 2 September 2020
Did you ever consider that Donald Trump might not actually be having a series of “mini-strokes”, but that he’s just saying these things to make it easier for David Waldman to fill 2 hours each morning?
Donald Trump always knew there was something hinky about Ted Cruz. It was the soup, the bags of soup. When a camera shop owner refused to talk to him, Donald got a stand-in. Then there’s “thugs on a plane”. Joe Biden will have difficulty finding time in Kenosha to talk about anything other than what an idiot Trump is. Trump has not yet promoted Novichok to treat COVID-19 symptoms.
Greg Dworkin eagerly counts down the days… minutes… until the really cool post-Labor day polls come out. In the meantime, there are plenty of very good polls, all with Joe Biden in the lead. None are showing a post-convention bounce, because the RNC didn’t tell voters how Trump could ever handle the pandemic, and everyone already knows Trump’s stand on law and order. That leaves the debates, which traditionally matter even less, although who knows, maybe Joe can get Donald to stroke out, or experience a temporary period of symptoms similar to one. (Vlad came up with that gag.)
Elliot Broidy’s roguish good looks got him in trouble again, or maybe it was his endless connections to corruption. Either way, the Feds want a date with him. That will leave Steve Mnuchin as sexiest unindicted movie producer connected to Trump.
Trump lackey Jason Miller was paid $20,000 a month on the side by a nonprofit founded by Steve Bannon. Florida man regrets painting “Trump” in 5 foot letters on the side of his boat, especially when it pushed him to committing a felony. William Barr continues to cover Donald’s tracks, probably for some good reason.
Melania Trump helped siphon off $80 million from the Inaugural Fund. She regularly used a private Trump Organization email account, an email from a MelaniaTrump.com domain, iMessage and the encrypted messaging app Signal in the White House. Melania Trump is a Trump after all.
Tue, 1 September 2020
It’s Tuesday! That means it’s Joan McCarter Day! David Waldman had all the KITM candelabras lit for his acclaimed rendition of Hallelujah, but then our lawyers called...
Sure, you think you’re important, but are you “Left-wing ninjas are coming to YOUR neighborhood to pick on YOU” important? You would think only someone the stature of Rand Paul could ever be that significant and prominent, but in Donald Trump’s America, supersoldiers are booking commercial flights marked “Washington to wherever” in “black uniforms with gear and this and that"... and they’re coming for YOU. Dark shadows have already claimed Joe Biden. Police are powerless.They can’t shoot even one Black guy and call for a mulligan anymore.
And that is why Trump moved to shut Congress out of intelligence on Russian election interference.
As Donald Trump and Mike Pence told us to get back to work and hope for a miracle, their own coronavirus task force whispered the bad news to the states. The University of Michigan’s board of regents is chaired by Ann Arbor’s largest landlord, who’d be out tens of millions of dollars in rent if students didn’t return, so…
And that is why Dr. Scott Atlas is Donald Trump's new Covid health adviser. Dr Atlas has already fixed all of Florida’s problems, and he will be bringing that same expertise to the rest of our nation. We’re all going to die.
Inherent contempt had accumulated a lot of dust since David last spruced it up, but now the McGahn appeals court panel says the House has no legal ability to enforce subpoenas, so therefore as David and Armando have recommended, Congress must use inherent contempt power to enforce its subpoenas.
Meanwhile, the D.C. Circuit denied Michael Flynn's petition to force the federal judge on his case to grant the DOJ's motion to dismiss the prosecution, in a reversal of the initial three-judge panel ruling in Flynn's favor. A federal appeals panel temporarily blocked a lower court ruling that was to force Trump to comply with the subpoena on his taxes.
Speaking of subpoenas, the House Oversight Committee is preparing to subpoena Postmaster General Louis DeJoy, and chairman of the USPS board of governors Robert Duncan, for the documents they’re concealing. Robert Duncan is also the director of Mitch McConnell's $130 million super PAC, the Senate Leadership Fund. He is also a director of American Crossroads Super PAC, which spent $1.9 million backing Trump this cycle.
Melania Trump does. not. care.
Mon, 31 August 2020
David Waldman returns to take us out of August and… OMG there’s still two months to go.
Greg Dworkin returns for the first time since the Republican National Pageant of Knuckleheads, which no one watched anyhow. This might have been intentional, as contradictory messages could then be repackaged and disseminated to their intended microtargets later… yeah, like they thought that out.
As roller coasters go, 2020 polling is kind of tranquil, almost soothing. Is 6 points too close for comfort? Nate Cohn might need about mid-November or so to give us solid numbers. Still, wherever there is a bellwether, there’s Joe Leading in it. Joe Biden’s voters may not be asking for much, but Joe is showing he can deliver that and even more.
The former Chief of Staff to Senator Olympia Snowe was concerned about Susan Collins, but no more.
Who trusts Jared Kushner? Definitely not Don McGahn.
Donald Trump is a lying prick. It is his brand, and Trump is devoted to his brand. Will Trump’s conveniently timed COVID-19 vaccine be on brand? Herd immunity is even more on brand: you do it yourself, and you pay for it. Anyhow, the late Herman Cain says it’s not as bad as it seems. Robert Trump might also attest to that, but of course he also might have been paid off.
Soon, there will be Cameo for journalists, where 50 bucks will get you a juicy tidbit they haven’t yet mentioned to their editor. But for now you still need to wait for their book to come out. The DOJ secretly curtailed FBI investigation of Trump ties to Russia. It must have been a well-kept secret as dozens of FBI agents were standing right there. Rod Rosenstein lands a job with the Other Side.
Fri, 28 August 2020
David Waldman returns after successfully dropping off his son at college and avoiding a whole day of Republican National Convention BS.
Now it’s all over but the shouting… and Rand Paul wetting his pants running away. Donald Trump wanted his RNC speech backdrop to be the White House or a big cemetery and it looks like he got it. The October surprise for some South Lawn attendees will be finding themselves under headstones after just 40 days. As Republicans say, we all have to go sometime, so it might be best for them if it was before the election results come out.
After his lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying, lying , lying, lying and lying last night, Donald Trump announced that he’d head out to Texas and Louisiana and check out the courses this weekend, but he didn’t have his hopes up. Donald will want to head back to his own properties where he can soak the Secret Service, taxpayers, or any rube he can find. After all, that is the image he’s cultivated for decades. It’s what his public expects. David Fahrenthold can tell you all about that. Unfortunately, Trump’s public also expects him to crack down on disloyal reporters.
More on the Twitter story of the public defender crossing the wrong people in the police department, who was targeted with retaliatory arrest, possibly fake warrants, faked police agencies, and completely fake justice. She lucked out — police take care of good apples all the time. A Black Vice Mayor in Virginia urged a police chief’s firing. Now she faces charges.
Thu, 27 August 2020
Same convention, different day. Nothing to see there, maybe less. As good as day as any for David Waldman to drop his kid off to start college, and to provide us with a brand new show about something else.
Hear about the internet? It’s an awful place, with crazy people doing mean things. Which might be ok, if they stayed there, but for some, fantasy blurs into reality, and virtual becomes actual. Some people get off on convincing idiots, ignoramuses, newbies and normies of stupid things for lulz. Some, like the three people who popularized the Qanon theory, make a living ruining lives. The owner of 8chan, who might be connected to Gamergate, the Christchurch massacre, targeting federal judges, stolen credit card information and child pornography, might also be Qanon, home of sick people telling sick things to other sick people to convince them to do sick things, and to most everyone’s surprise lately, convincing sort of normal people to do stupid things.
This isn’t new. Remember when the Procter & Gamble logo was declared a “secret Satanic message?” Procter & Gamble’s loss was surely somebody’s gain. Dr. Zeynep Tufekci was able to predict the modern menace of pandemics and social media’s destruction of society by paying close attention to the past. Donald Trump doesn’t know, doesn’t understand, and doesn’t care. We’ll just have to wait for a president that does.
Wed, 26 August 2020
It’s my birthday, and right now David Waldman is in the kitchen baking me a second KITM! That one’s coming out tomorrow, pre-recorded, piping fresh! But first:
Only two days of Republican convention in the crapper so far. Dozens of hours of lies have already been pinched off for the sole benefit of those people hunting for that one lie that will somehow allow them to lie to themselves on election day. Mary Ann Mendoza almost made it to the RNC stage to boost Qanon conspiracy lies, including the granddaddy of them all, “The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion”. She didn’t get the chance, so the FBI Twitter account helped out. Natalie Harp did make her RNC speech. A heartwarming, inspirational speech, and a lie. The White House lied to cover up the Hatch Act violations of a naturalization ceremony-sideshow lie-officiated by Chad Wolf, whose title and position are lies. Bob from the RNC roll call did not technically lie, but he certainly stretched things.
Maybe if some of those lies “stick”, then the polls will tighten, but that is not what is happening now. Donald Trump has a well-earned trust gap that 4 days can’t take away. Trump also wasn’t able to scare Democrats away from mail-in ballots, so it’s now up to Louis DeJoy to put the snail back in mail. More than 20 election administrators have resigned following death threats.
Two people were shot and killed during a protest in Kenosha, that was protesting the police shooting of Jacob Blake. The police finally had to arrest the shooter. They really liked that white kid too. The black kids he shot they already decided were human garbage.
There is still a COVID-19 pandemic, no matter what they say. And, no matter what they say, masks work, turning a $56.14 ROI on $.75. South Korea recloses its schools, while Sturgis bikers spread coronavirus to at least 8 states.
Tue, 25 August 2020
Happy birthday to Sean Connery, turning 90 today! Although he’s not yet 90, it is also Armando’s birthday today! And by an amazing cosmic coincidence, it’s also David Waldman’s birthday today! If that wasn’t enough for you... it’s my birthday tomorrow! Happy birthday everyone!
One day down of the Republican National collective delusion. It is the Trump Convention, so the “plan”, as always, is to put the absolute bare minimum of effort in between golf weekends, and then to claim that it was the best that could ever have been done. Don Jr. was higher than any bar set for Republicans last night.
Whether a pitcher, catcher, or merely an enthusiastic fan in stands, the nonetheless sleazy, cowardly little weasel Jerry Falwell Jr. — previously on righteously eternal suspension from Liberty University, now goes home — you got to hope it is to be nowhere near anyone’s family.
Meanwhile, the University of Alabama reported over 500 COVID-19 cases last week. Researchers say a Hong Kong man is the first confirmed to catch Covid-19 twice, but more research will be needed to determine what a disaster that is. David will need to add a whole new column on his spreadsheet.
The well-worked refs over at Twitter give Trump another warning, still throwing out anyone else committing the same offence. Any Trump not at the convention will tell you: Donald Trump has no principals and you can’t trust him.
Donald goes full Andrew Jackson against the Supreme Court, and then some. The Trump family went full Palin in D.C. following Robert Trump's White House funeral. A public defender describes her retaliatory arrest. Vlad laments America’s loss of style. A Ukrainian Oligarch picked up $21 million in Paycheck Protection Program loans. It’s nice to know a guy.
Joan McCarter reports on the several cans of worms opened at Louis DeJoy’s House investigation. Dejoy will not put any postal sorting machines back, in fact brand new ones continue to be thrown out. Trump has no problems eliminating any support for Social Security. Susan Collins has problems eliminating Donald Trump from her background.
Mon, 24 August 2020
Before we can make it to the finale of Presidential Apprentice we will first need to survive this week’s denouement, although we’ll be seeing many of our contestants, probably for the last time, hopefully. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin host Day One of the last days.
Just in time for the show, Donald Trump debuted another breakthrough COVID-19 cure, which is neither a breakthrough or a cure, or even a debut, but Trump made sure we will never sure how it works or even how to ever make it work, and that’s ok by him. You see, 57% of Republicans see the 176,000+ coronavirus deaths as acceptable… and seeing that they are dividing the total number of deaths by “3/5ths”, that kind of makes sense.
Sturgis motorcycle rally COVID-19 cases in South Dakota have spread to North Dakota, somehow.
The convention speeches probably won’t mention the Postal Service hearings happening now, although that will probably be what their audience is talking about. Chickens and turkeys are having mass die-offs in the mail before we can put them in our mouths, and before anyone gets paid.
Conventioneers might also be talking about Jerry Falwell Jr. Jerry “admits” that his wife had an affair with the pool boy, or maybe he was “bragging”, or maybe he was just “requesting a refund”. (Similar to how Donald likes to watch Homeland Security take its orders from TV’s Lou Dobbs.)
Fri, 21 August 2020
Some convention, huh?
Joe Biden gave a speech, which is all he really had to do. Joe however, gave a great speech, as great as anyone could ever want. David Waldman sweeps up the confetti and talks with Ian Reifowitz, author of The Tribalization of Politics: How Rush Limbaugh's Race-Baiting Rhetoric on the Obama Presidency Paved the Way for Trump—every copy purchased today contains a free pass into next week’s 2020 Republican National Convention!
Ian and David agree that if Republicans would eliminate the racism and corruption in their party they might be onto something. That doesn’t seem to be the plan any time soon. In fact, they don’t seem to be planning a plan any time soon. If anything, it’s poised to get worse.
Ian is on the reopening planning committee at his kid’s NYC school. Those folks know how to plan, and implement.
Donald Trump says he wants sheriffs and law enforcement and attorneys and everybody and attorney generals to get out the vote… or get the voters out, at least purportedly. (He’ll probably just lob in teargas.) Trump doesn’t need to assign a paramilitary solution to Biden voters if he has Qanon volunteering to do it. Of course, Qanon is a grift. Weak minds are a gold mine.
Which brings us to Steve KG Bannon. Steve was arrested by postal inspectors off the coast of Connecticut in the yacht of a fugitive Chinese billionaire, thus ruining James Bond films for all time. Rounding out the story, there is a “not-so-innocent” one-armed man, a mysterious benefactor, a many-tentacled umbrella company… and a bunch more cool cars and boats and stuff.
And deep in the shadows… No wait, right there in the open, is Donald Trump. The moment William Barr hit the klaxon, Trump dove for the escape pod, and attempted to lay down a smoke screen... but will he escape? We’ll find out soon!
Thu, 20 August 2020
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin welcome you to the climatic final day of the 2020 Democratic National Convention, brought to you by Donald Trump. If the world didn’t have so much to fix, the convention wouldn’t have been half as good.
Kamala Harris already changed the world for the better last night. And! Last night, The President of the United States returned to address the nation! Makes one feel good to be an American. Of course, the more things change, the more they remain the same. Some whine for more, while some are out there making it happen.
Bill O’Reilly worries Biden-Harris might turn their back on him. No one has turned their back on O’Reilly in years. We’ll see how the Gop convention turns out for him. (Not brought to you by Goodyear)
Crusted phlegm Steve KG Bannon was arrested and indicted, charged with fraud and money laundering, after illegally shaking down wall-loving rubes. Steve might be wearing his overlapping half dozen popped-collar orange jumpsuits for the next 20 years. Joining him are a rogue’s gallery of villainy, including Kris Kobach, Erik Prince, Tom Tancredo, Sheriff David Clarke and former pitcher Curt Schilling, along with anyone else in the swamp that heard “wall” and “money”. Donald Trump hasn’t heard of any of those guys.
It has been revealed that the Senate Intelligence Committee made criminal referrals of Donald Trump Jr., Jared Kushner, Steve Bannon, Erik Prince and Sam Clovis to federal prosecutors in 2019
Trump’s attempt to dodge a subpoena for his tax records was nixed by a federal judge.
The election will not go smoothly, and Trump will cause trouble. How much trouble will we allow him to cause? Louis DeJoy promised a couple things, but isn’t about to repair the damage he already created. Also, he was lying about stopping. Laura Loomer is a loon, but Qanon is nuts, and now they’re coming to DC. What’s the problem with electing representatives of terrorist groups to the other side of the metal detectors? Then there’s Russia. Russiagate was not a hoax. Russia could turn out to be a little too real.
Wed, 19 August 2020
Another beautiful morning shines over KITM 2020 Democratic Convention World Headquarters. Plenty of calamari left to share from last night, along with David Waldman, Greg Dworkin and a brand new guest!
Denise Oliver Velez pays close attention to a lot around here, and around the world. She would like everyone to do likewise, especially those in the mainstream media whose job it is to pay attention to the details, like Skee-Wee, and sweeping cultural and political history, such as the importance of African-American fraternities and sororities. For instance The Divine 9, amazingly enough might be confused with gang members if viewed in a misogynoir, or just plain ignorant light. If Denise’s mom were alive she would have voted for Hillary. Denise will be delighted to be voting for Kamala.
Universities worked themselves into an absolutely impossible position where all choices lead to doom, even before COVID-19. Now they will have to take the students with them. One teacher in Georgia can’t fix all that Brian Kemp has done, but she comes close.
If Donald Trump hadn’t come along, this year’s Democratic convention would not have been this great. This is the digital decency convention, a socially distancing big tent with no Colin Powell heckling, no Bill Clinton heckling, no Bernie-Biden or Biden-Bernie heckling! Foam hats and fingers were replaced by 57 backyards and plain speaking.
Of course, there will also be some plain speaking at next week’s Gop convention. Laura Loomer would make a good keynote speaker, or maybe Mr. Pillow, or Miss Moscow. There’s a good 1,000 pages written already, by the Senate Intelligence Committee. There was no collusion, by the way. Putin did what he wanted, Trump let him. Plenty of lying to congress, with some light treason. As far as Trump’s and people like him are concerned, he’s innocent enough, until the handcuffs go on. Even after that, history will eventually smile upon them, like it does Nazis and Confederate soldiers.
The rest of us can vote for Joe Biden. Most Americans are embarrassed by Trump’s response to coronavirus, the USPS… anything. Except for the time when he enabled Biden and Harris’ future protection of immigrants.
Tue, 18 August 2020
David Waldman is joined by Joan McCarter at KITM 2020 Democratic Convention World Headquarters to assist in blowing up virtual balloons, singing Springsteen and reviewing yesterday’s opening night. Analysts and hecklers were sidelined, and no funny hats, but Michelle Obama spoke directly to me, and so far that makes it the best ever. Tonight: Chuck Schumer! ...Followed by John Kerry! Woohoo! And following them… a minute or so of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. (Probably in conjunction with her AMA on Instagram.)
Donald Trump didn’t like it. No one appreciates that Trump has done so much more for the crummy, horrible, dumb people in the United States. In fact, Donald could talk your ear off about how ungrateful the Blacks and the Jews are these days. Suburban housewives though, they can shut up. He’s brought them a long way, baby. Trump will announce an executive order allowing Rosa Parks to sit anywhere on a bus in 1955. Also, it’s now legal for Susan B. Anthony to vote in 1872.
Anyhow, Michelle got Trump’s COVID-19 death toll wrong. He’s scored 30,000 more than she said, at least! Meanwhile, 71 of Mississippi's 82 counties are reporting coronavirus outbreaks on their first day of school. The jury’s still out on whether Adrenochrome, harvested from the fear of children, has a beneficial use against COVID-19—“the jury” being bat-shit crazy Qanoners who are now stealing kids to get their own little taste.
Speaking of evil, Postmaster General Louis DeJoy (not to be confused with non-evil short track Hall-of-Famer Don LaJoie) is destroying the Post Office to swing the election, and his stock portfolio. Susan Collins is concerned. Mitch McConnell is not concerned, yet. But Steny Hoyer and Nancy Pelosi are working to coax him out of his shell.
Trump just might pardon Edward Snowden… and there’s a senate report confirming Russia used Paul Manafort and WikiLeaks to sway the 2016 election. Remember emoluments? There are three pending cases on Trump’s violation of the emoluments clause, and it looks as if they will be pending still on election day. Remember Miles Taylor? Donald Trump does not. Katie Walsh led talks to remove Trump from the 2016 ticket. You might remember her as an RNC superstar, and one of the only “pro”s to work at the Trump White House.
Mon, 17 August 2020
The Post Office is deactivating mail sorting machines ahead of the election, along with other changes expressly designed to cripple the mail. But, you mess with the Post Office and you mess with Greg Dworkin, as well as many others because much love is sent through the mail, but also so are a lot of medications. This is exactly the plight rural Americans always find themselves struggling against, as well as small businesses, and the exactly the conditions that drives them to the polls. The entire nation is already feeling the slowdown—even Taylor Swift reached Marvelette-levels of concern over the well-being of the USPS