Fri, 30 April 2021
Thu, 29 April 2021
The FBI searched Rudy’s home and office yesterday, because he’s a villainous traitor. And that’s all I have to say about that.
January 6th insurrectionists who aren’t already in jail are... running for elective office.
Wed, 28 April 2021
Well, the CDC is out with its new outdoor masking guidance, which certain people will no doubt take to be proof that they were right all along, even though they probably weren’t. Meanwhile, excess vaccines may indeed begin to flow, though we still don’t know any more about those contracts.
You’ll never guess what Fox & Friends claims they see lurking around every corner. Aw, you did guess it! It’s “socialism!”
The non-SOTU will look a little different this year. And probably sound different, too. Will a new crop of aggressively stupid Republicans audibly boo and jeer? Will the traditional media give in to its usual impulse to allow “optics” reporting to overwhelm substance? Not that there’s not a good optics story to be had, of course.
Vox takes another crack at explaining Joe Manchin.
A new lawsuit targets one source of “eye-popping numbers” of guns used in crimes in Chicago: a single gun shop in Gary, IN.
The tiki torch bro who became the viral face of the Charlottesville hate rally finds there are consequences (and is, ironically, replaced).
Wayne LaPierre was a jet-setting “elite” who lived precisely the lifestyle he professed to hate as head of the NRA? Wow! How did they go bankrupt?
Tue, 27 April 2021
Every show’s first hour could, theoretically, be about the Republicans’ latest fake outrage. While the second hour could be about the very real outrages Republicans spark. Or at least, enlightening ourselves about how horribly off-base they are.
None of the Gop-adjacent outrages have changed the fact that the pandemic is still with us, of course. And yes, excess deaths are pretty much what we always thought they were. But at least some of our excess vaccine might be dispatched abroad, after all.
Siri, what is chutzpah? Should Chernobyl be a protected UNESCO World Heritage site?
Simon says, no book deals for Trump officials. Schuster concurs.
Good news on the policing front: retrained Newark, NJ cops didn’t fire a shot in all of 2020—and crime dropped.
(Almost) bad news on the (sort-of) policing front: CA National Guard pilots were reportedly asked to keep a fighter jet at the ready, to intimidate protesters.
Alaska Airlines needs you to calm down, ma’am.
In former guy news: does the Secret Service have to protect you from debt collectors? Some last-second weird contract happenings at the Pentagon. And a guy who may have known too much about what’s-his-face’s Deutsche Bank loans has… gone missing.
Mon, 26 April 2021
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin bring their usual red carpet style and substance to this morning’s KITM:
It’s Oscar time, the time when we discover all of the stuff that we should have been watching, had we any taste. This year however, we have a winner that is not only good for you, it is actually good! Two Distant Strangers was written by Travon Free, who wrote for the Daily Show, and was directed by Free and Martin Desmond Roe, and is right there on your Netflix.
We have enjoyed almost 100 days of quiet nice times with Uncle Joe. People like Joe and his approval/disapproval numbers seem to be as steady as Donald Trump’s (Although reversed, of course). President Biden heads into the next 100 even more confident and self-assured, meaning that Republicans are more panicked and bitter than ever. Larry Kudlow warns that we might have poured our last pork lager. Speaking of Rick Santorum, he has Dan Savage trending again. Maricopa County Republicans are hand correcting 2 million ballots to 110% Trump. They are going to be soooo mad when they find out he lost again. They will be furious when they lose in 2022.
We are talking about those Republicans that survive refusing vaccines and masks to the 2022 elections. There is no getting through to the hard core, and most who were motivated and had access are already vaccinated. The trick is to decrease barriers to those who would take a shot. Johnson & Johnson… erm... Janssen isn’t helping matters. At least we do have vaccines. Around the world, some countries are having a horrible time, and could be helped by our leftovers. Unfortunately, Trump “America First”-ed others out of a chance to borrow a few from us. This can, and will be solved, hopefully soon.
Fri, 23 April 2021
On today’s KITM, David Waldman opens with a simple comment on banana peel gags, then proceeds to weave a discussion of bananas, insurance fraud, Tammany-Hall political reform, the inherent value of infrastructure, salt, SALT, breathing, and the proud history of sanitation workers into it. Just like Rachel Maddow!
We’re way ahead of the Maddow curve when it comes to election reform, that is, “election systems and methods” reform. David talks with the executive director of The Center for Election Science, Aaron Hamlin about Approval Voting, covering the basics, history, and the debate around how Approval Voting compares to other methods. A real-life example of Approval Voting is its success in the St. Louis City primary election, leading to the election of Tishaura Jones, the first Black woman elected mayor of St. Louis.
It has been a year since Donald Trump said the most stupid, dangerous things he ever said during his presidency, maybe. Donald has said a lot of stupid, dangerous things. Trump hoped to deceive and humiliate the virus, but instead the virus did a number on him. This was when Trump started pushing Hydroxychloroquine, the Ivermectin of 2020, while bogarting the Remdesivir in the White House fridge. There is still time however, to claim a position on the Hydroxychloroquine MLM ladder.
Bodycam footage showed a cop punching a Black guy in the face until his arms were tired and the Black man was almost dead, but no one, including his fellow police officers, stopped him. Another video shows another cop beating another handcuffed person, but she wasn’t Black, and she was a woman, and this time the coworkers saw a line being crossed. You do have a right to film police, and police don’t have a right to shoot, beat, or arrest you for it, but as you know, things happen. Therefore, it is recommended you find a less upfront method if required. Police recently arrested a cop watcher — but then recorded themselves by accident with his equipment.
Thu, 22 April 2021
Bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop, this is Earth Day! David Waldman eco-celebrates in KITM Earth Headquarters. Meanwhile, Eco-rebels misutilize poo outside the White House, perhaps in an effort to get their hands on pink wheelbarrows.
Are vaccine rejectors like motorcyclists that refuse to wear a helmet? If so, why do they keep crashing into our restaurants? Germany was way ahead of us on containing Covid-19, and are now leading on losing control. India is in worse shape with the pandemic than ever. In fact, they are the worst in the world.
The Gop just can’t villainize Joe Biden. Donald Trump was a villain, but his polls were steady, Joe’s polls might be the same. Liz Cheney, also a villain, is probably the most indestructible of the bunch.
The Gop doesn’t want to hear that the 2017 shooting of congressional baseball players might not be terrorism, they need that for “whatabouts”. Capitol Police officers, on the other hand, were told anti-Trump protesters were the only ones to worry about. Nancy Pelosi keeps handing concessions to Republicans to get them for a January 6 commission. Concessions won’t work, and Nancy knows it.
To save time, Democrats are rejecting the Republican’s phony infrastructure bid before it is even placed.
Wed, 21 April 2021
David Waldman gets us over the hump, that many of us will sled down this morning.
Accountability, and maybe a step towards justice took place last night, as Black lives mattered, for a moment. Justice requires neverending vigilance. In this case, the credit goes to 17 year old Darnella Frazier and her cellphone videography prowess. Then, police in Columbus, Ohio released body-camera footage of the police shooting that left a teenage girl dead minutes before Derek Chauvin’s verdict was announced.
It isn’t quite the death of racism, but nonetheless racists sure are running scared. MT Greene hid where she wouldn’t see anyone last night. Tucker Carlson was so frightened of the looming threat to the white race that he just might have peed himself on national TV. Tucker’s advertisers would be terrified, if he had any. You don’t want to hear what Donald Trump had to say. (Neither do I)
Greg Dworkin remembers Walter Mondale, who it bears repeating, was an old-school, true Democrat, public servant, mensch of a Vice President, and as Greg points out, often felt obligated to tell the public the truth, sometimes at greater than optimal levels.
200 million doses and we aren’t halfway home. People keep coming up with clever ways to convince boneheads, but boneheads hate experts almost as much as they hate math. Here’s an idea: For each vaccine shot, give them a lottery ticket.
The House has been frozen at 435 representatives, but just like those 9 Supreme Court justices, that’s just a number. More representatives, however might bring more psychos like Rick Roeber, who physically, sexually and mentally abused his children, and drowned puppies.
The inspector general at the Department of Homeland Security blocked investigations into tear gassing and rubber bullets for Donald Trump’s stroll through Lafayette Square last year.
Republican Lisa Murkowski broke Gop ranks to support Vanita Gupta’s nomination. Democrats blocked Republican censure of Maxine Waters until the Gop cleaned up its own act. Democrats put the time they spent idling due to Republican obstruction to good use, by coming up with a rule change to set aside those rules being misused.
Tue, 20 April 2021
David Waldman delivers sad news:
Ted Nugent has contracted COVID-19, and as his, and our luck, would have it, continues to survive. Ted Nugent and Donald Trump somehow both recovered to see another bigoted dawn. If only Ted would have chosen to suck exclusively American guns and bullets, he might not have this problem now. As for Covid, an ounce of prevention might be worth a pound of cure, but Ben Franklin doesn’t work in government anymore.
A life that truly mattered ended. Walter “Fritz” Mondale, old-school, Democratic, public servant, mensch and Vice President, died at 93. Mondale might have seemed old-fashioned, but he modernized the Vice-Presidency, and not only reformed the filibuster, he was ready to do it again.
Senators caught the car they were chasing, as the Parliamentarian gives them a couple more chances at reconciliation… but now what are they going to do with it? David and Joan McCarter ask “What would Robert Byrd do?”, but Senator Byrd never had to work with people like this. President Biden offers what Americans want and America needs, if any Gop are interested in that sort of thing. Weak-links Joe Manchin and Krysten Sinema crave some attention and are looking in all the wrong places. Mitch McConnell has some candy in the back of his van for them. Democrats are expected to settle for... not enough.
Nancy Pelosi is having a hard time teaming investigators and instigators to look into the January 6 insurrection. Joe Biden will need something like Lyndon Johnson’s Executive Order 11365, which established the National Advisory Commission on Civil Disorders — now a best-selling book!
Mon, 19 April 2021
The Mighty KITM Worldwide Multiplex has battery backup! Nothing can stop us now! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are charged up and ready to go:
If only John Boehner Republicans were in charge there would be no immigration concerns, mass shootings or racism. If George W. Bush was in charge the world would be a progressive utopia. Ah, but Republicans had that former guy come in and ruin it all, aka “William of Normandy”. MT Greene hopes to create a caucus to reestablish pre-Battle-of-Hastings values to US government.
Active duty law enforcement are training Oath Keepers, so why isn’t everyone running from the cops anymore? On the other hand, Capitol rioters, sovereign citizens there on 1/6 to make citizen arrests and executions, are now telling judges they were but only citizen journalists. Employees of One America News know that the one thing they aren’t, are journalists. They aren’t Nazis either, as they were just “following orders”. By the way, their orders were to help overthrow the United States and install Donald Trump. Junior hoped to be installed at OANN someday.
The Department of Justice is investigating Kash Patel’s security breaches while he and Devin Nunes tried to make the Deep State a thing.
Today is the day everyone over 16 is eligible for a COVID-19 vaccine shot. Vaccines are humankind’s greatest invention, other than possibly that mars helicopter. (I, for one, welcome the vaccine, and our robot overlords.)
How are you handling the pandemic? Most fears are irrational, but they do keep us out of trouble. And, things keep changing. Yesterday’s prudent caution is tomorrow’s performative hygiene. Disease doesn’t only come for sinners… although some people are kind of plainly asking for it. All of us are so lucky that mRNA vaccines worked so well. The Johnson & Johnson vaccine might become a vaccine issued only to those with johnsons.
Fri, 16 April 2021
How about politicide? No, not “political genocide”… but literal “political suicide” — an opposing political party united in an actual deadly suicide pact of their own choosing. Not the entire population of the party, mind you, but precisely focused, so that the more entrenched their ideology, the tighter they will all grip as they leap off the cliff together... It’s a fantasy, of course, as it would be impossible to imagine any scenario in which people would throw away their own lives and the lives of others in favor of mere dogma! If there were such a thing, Marjorie Diamond Greene and Lauren Silk Boebert would be long gone by now.
Meanwhile, David Waldman delivers another KITM under the cloud of a mass shooting. This mass shooting was delivered to Fed Ex, but we know UPS and the Post Office will do in a pinch. These mass murders are senseless and horrific, by the way. So was the death of 13-year-old Adam Toledo. Adam didn’t have his gun anymore, which the officer didn’t hesitate to consider. That officer might be in trouble, but he isn’t the only reason that kid is dead and this kid is alive.
Senior Black Correspondent, Darwin H.M., aka @Darwin_Darko on Twitter, tells us of the vindication of Black police officer Cariol Horne, who waited 15 years for her pension, while her employer waited for her to die of old age before they would grant it. Darwin figures that if the police could hold her pension for 15 years, the pension fund is where money for lawsuits can be found.
Vladimir Putin has a sad, and is in a snit, now that the Russian collusion that everyone knew about, is being publicly admitted, and acted upon. The 10 Republicans that voted to impeach Trump were supposed to be in trouble, and they might be, but not with their donors.
A Capitol insurrectionist took a break from fighting tyranny to escape to Switzerland, but couldn’t escape his demons, or the police.
Thu, 15 April 2021
Happy Tax Day! (Traditional) David Waldman starts off Thursday with a lightning round list of Republicans being Republicans: In Florida, Matt Gaetz’ former colleagues want to check out some high school genitalia. Gaetz’ former classmates will tell you Matt hasn’t changed a bit since high school… maybe even junior high. Kristi Noem will make undocumented immigrants feel about as unwanted as Native Americans in her state. The Senate passed an Anti-Asian Hate bill 92-6, with six Republicans preferring to hate Asians. Pat McCrory, former North Carolina governor, enters his primary as an “outsider”. Virginia Gop Gubernatorial Candidate Amanda Chase contests state election results before the election. MT Greene out-Trumps everyone by challenging Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to
Greg Dworkin was under his seasonal bout of laryngitis today, but powered through. Abby wanted to step in. However, although fluent in several languages including dalmation, Abby’s english remains “a little rough”…
Greg does not have Covid, and has been fully vaccinated, although that is of course no guarantee. It is close to a guarantee, though — 0.008% of cases, jeez! That’s still enough to freak people out, and more than enough to get a conspiracy theory or two started. The Johnson & Johnson pause was intended to get the facts straight before moving forward, but how long will that take, and how many more conspiracies will be weaved in that time? All the facts in the world won’t convince some people, and we all know who those people are.
Democrats want to take the Supreme Court from 9 to 13 justices, as the Founding Fathers intended. For about a hundred years, Supreme Court Justices rode circuit, boldly dispensing justice wherever they went. Let’s bring that tradition back, too.
Americans believe Democrats are the ones to trust, in just about everything. Voters approve of infrastructure, especially when it’s their infrastructure, and the people who can afford it are paying for it. Chris Christie suggests that Republicans try belligerence and name calling to win back voters. The stupid choice has been a winning bet for them historically. Joe Manchin just wants to meet them halfway.
Joe Biden picked his own path out of Afghanistan, but how did he come to that decision? Does the Military pitch the commander in chief on their favorite ideas and advocate loudly for them? Hmmm, sometimes. But actually it is a multi-part equation. Military advice is but a single variable to consider.
Wed, 14 April 2021
Are vaccines breaking the pandemic wave? Oh, so close — Maybe, maybe not, but it does feel more close every day. Even so, who would want to go back to work with the people you used to work with? Or back into public with them for that matter? You can get a lot more done at home, anyhow.
For instance, check out David Waldman and Greg Dworkin. Whether working from home or at the studios in KITM World Headquarters, they always remain at a “chef’s kiss” level.
1 in 5 say they won’t get a COVID-19 vaccine. And now, some that wanted one, had theirs cancelled. What’s up with that Johnson & Johnson vaccine pause? Well, the Biden administration decided on truth and transparency in dealing with the public, a tactic the previous administration could not and can not ever conceive of. This plan of course carries risks, as the horse whips and hot takes fly.
Meanwhile, OSHA fined a company that wouldn’t let their employees or their customers wear masks.
Ce n'est pas le Louvre, c'est un Louvre. Saudi crown prince Mohammed bin Salman bought a $1000 Jesus painting — not even on black velvet — and paid $450 million. You pay that much for a fake da Vinci, and you don’t want it to be fake anymore. So, MBS took it over to his local fake Louvre, to have it marked up to “real”. That happened, because no one ever wants to see MBS disappointed.
Whatever law you’re talking about, Trump lawyers will say that it doesn’t apply to Trump.
Joe Biden continues to exceed expectations, even if your expectation was for an affable, gentlemanly white man who says nice, positive things most of the time. Hundreds of companies are uniting to oppose those who oppose voting rights, while Joe is waiting with a big friendly hug. Most everybody likes to see happy people, except for Republicans, who mostly like to unsee unhappy people. The National Collegiate Athletic Association says it will move championship events out of states that discriminate against LGBTQ people. Republicans will try to remove Major League Baseball’s antitrust exemption. Here, let Casey Stengel explain.
Kim Potter should have retired after 25 years, but now she has been charged with 2nd-degree manslaughter for Daunte Wright’s killing. John Cardillo is a horrible, awful person, but he did point out the fact that Daunte Wright was a loving family man, as well as an American patriot, which you wouldn’t guess he’d say about a young black guy.
Matt Gaetz has, so far, not been caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy, and he is proud to tell you that. Joel Greenberg will tell you Matt always paid the pimp, and never even tipped the ladies. Stepping up to be a character witness: Harlan Z. Hill. (!)
Tue, 13 April 2021
It has been days now since David Waldman received his second vaccine shot and yet he still doesn’t feel bad at all! (He feels a bit ripped off, to be honest.) He still has a chance though, and we here all hope he feels lousy soon.
Nothing marks the end of a pandemic like people getting back out and shooting each other, and themselves. Did your gun shoot your neighbor? Your child? Maybe it gave you a bullet, right in the bread aisle. Anyway you look at it, it’s what the Founders and the Heller Court wanted. Anyway you look at it, the AR-15 is more than a gun or a pistol or a rifle. It’s much more.
Governor Bill Lee assures that Tennesseans will have an easier time killing each other than voting him out of office. Bullets or ballots, all will get his thoughts and prayers.
Johnson & Johnson vaccinations were paused after rare clotting cases emerge. How rare? 6 clots in about 7 million doses. Is this an instance of an overabundance of caution? Shouldn’t states be able to decide? Is this a job for scientists? Or, at least someone that understands numbers? Perhaps more Republicans still need to be infected before the need for vaccinations is realized.
Donald Trump was his usual whiney bitch self at the RNC, but his schtick just doesn’t wow them like it used to. The next morning Rick Scott slipped Donald one of John Boehner’s old ashtrays and sent him back out to the golf course. Matt Gaetz, who?
Yes, “dynamic scoring” is the method Trump uses to win in golf. It is also the exact same approach Republicans used to work out Trickle Down economics, ever since the Reagan administration. Joan McCarter explains how Joe Biden’s budget reverses years of deficit peacockery and brings an end to austerity. Joan and David continue to puzzle over confused nudnik, Joe Manchin, a guy way out of his depth, clinging to Republican talking points to explain why he’s throwing sand into the gears of progress his party and the American people are striving for. Nobody can explain Kyrsten Sinema.
Mon, 12 April 2021
The Derek Chauvin trial continues, as the examples of why these trials are needed multiply. Minnesota police shot and killed Daunte Wright after detaining him for air fresheners on his mirror. More protests, more teargas and rubber bullets. A Virginia officer that pepper sprayed an Army officer was fired, not after the pepper spraying, but after the video of the pepper spraying got out. Conservatives are now opposed to the Black Army officer’s 1st, 2nd, and 4th amendment rights. Probably his little dog too.
Could Joe Biden be our F.D.R.? We might not really know until Joe’s third term… But does that make Donald Trump our latest Herbert Hoover, or Jimmy Carter? I wouldn’t say that around Jimmy, and even Herbert might be inspired to take a swing at you. F.D.R didn’t seem to have so many corporations on his side. Corporations have always been pretty woke to their bottom line, and for some reason Republicans have lost sight of that. More than 100 of the nation's top corporate leaders met on Saturday to discuss the dropping ROI on white supremacy. It’s also clear that the real money is in infrastructure to enable workers to get back to making money.
Republican’s business is the business of keeping things from working. Their leader, Donald Trump, laser-focused on that goal from day one, delivered yet again in a speech to the RNC. Ohio Senate candidate Josh Mandel was escorted out of the meeting for not arriving with enough grease for palms.
The Covid pandemic is showing signs of growth, just as people willing to be vaccinated could be tapering off. There are folks that decided long ago that they won’t be vaccinated. After deciding, some spent a lot of effort and research on their alibi, and some none at all. The results are the same, but the solutions will need some personalization. In retrospect, Republicans didn’t quite think out vaccine passports.
Fri, 9 April 2021
Charlie Sheen and Emilio Estevez, Owen Wilson and Luke Wilson, all those Hemsworths, David Waldman and… David isn’t saying. But, it is whomever’s birthday! Happy birthday!
While we’re celebrating, thank you to all you out there sending in recurring contributions! We find that we rarely have to call you defectors to keep you in line. Stay healthy, keep the money coming, and never take the drug Ivermectin unless you are a horse with parasitic worms... but if you are, KITM is reaching a wider demographic than we anticipated.
For a guy known as leader of the “Oath Keepers”, Stewart Rhodes’ marriage is quite unstable. So is the rest of his life, as US prosecutors begin to close in on “Person One” in the Capitol insurrection. Existing calls and texts point to Oath Keeper and Proud Boy involvement, as well as the empty spaces in their data point to where they attempted to cover their tracks. Roger Stone keeps appearing around the edges of everything. The White House tells Democratic investigators to check over at the National Archives and Records Administration for any Trump Capitol attack evidence.
Michael Flynn is a spy, and prefered spying over his day job. Flynn was warned about taking foreign money as far back as 2014, but that’s an integral part of the spy biz, so he ignored those warnings. Michael also a had a forbidden internet connection at the Pentagon, because you know, that’s what spies do.
Yale’s Tiger Couple haven’t put effort into anything but soaking Yale students.
Joe Manchin sees no circumstance for voting to kill filibuster, but sure sounds open to guardrails, lanes, and such, so maybe infrastructure is the way to his heart. The filibuster was one of the many things Hillary Clinton warned you about.
Matt Gaetz never paid for sex, possibly to avoid child labor laws, but actually, paying prostitutes is the pimp’s job, isn’t it? When going to the Bahamas, travel, hotel, drugs and women are part of the Gaetz package deal. One Republican has called for Gaetz to resign once he double-checked Matt’s last name to make sure it wasn’t “Trump”.
Thu, 8 April 2021
Who is it? Dave? Dave’s not here, man...
Who? Oh, David Waldman? Yeah, he and Greg Dworkin are over on the couch contemplating the ceiling and national politics:
Who would have guessed that the US War on Drugs spawning generations of poverty, crime, and corruption throughout Latin America might eventually lead to problems for us?
Joe Biden’s going to take our guns! Well, your homemade guns, and the ones you point at innocent people, or yourself. Those are the guns that are killing too many every day.
Service is Joe Biden’s specialty, because if he isn’t there helping the dickens out of you, the dicks just might return. Joe apparently knows what he’s doing, as fewer Republicans call themselves “Republican” and some of them are calling themselves “Biden Republicans” now.
A story in Cardinal & Pine (Not to be confused with the Long Leaf Pine Slate, although both seem pretty on-the-ball) describes a Republican federal and state dragnet of 44 North Carolina counties in search of voter fraud. It went as well as you’d expect.
Wed, 7 April 2021
David Waldman spent the night tracing the roots of his family tree until he slipped and fell down a genealogy rabbit hole. He discovered that similar names might go with dissimilar people, but sometimes that just doesn’t matter.
David has wanted the Senate filibuster dead for years. Now that it’s either the filibuster or democracy, others are catching up. The Senate parliamentarian will let Democrats bypass the filibuster on two bills… which two? Why not the two after those, too? Wouldn’t that be just as unprecedented?
The former guy’s former housing official, past and present wedding planner, Lynne Patton, was fined and barred from government work for Hatch Act violations, which probably broke her heart. You got to hope this leads to bigger things, though.
Greg Dworkin describes how the pandemic is still driving the news.
President Joe is giving us all a shot at getting a vaccine by the middle of this month. That sure doesn’t mean that everyone plans to take them, of course. For example, you can’t catch Covid if you get raptured first. Nearly half of new US virus infections are in just 5 states, as youth sports are shaken by the latest British invasion: COVID-19 variants. The good news about lockdowns is that most people really didn’t need to hang out together that much anyway.
Tearing down Dr. Anthony Fauci is essential to the MAGA myth. So is never admitting mistakes. That is why the Republican Party isn’t rebranding. Instead, they will purge their party of doubters, purge the country of voters, purge their neighborhoods of Black people, and so on, until reality matches their fantasies. Georgia is just like Colorado, if you believe baseball is just like voting. Mitch McConnell tells his money to shut up and get in his pocket.
Meanwhile, Joe Biden plans to go big with infrastructure to give everyone a lot to like and a little to disagree with. Chuck Schumer is thinking big, and if Republicans want to join him, that’s fine, too.
Tue, 6 April 2021
David Waldman handcrafts yet another small-batch KITM, lovingly prepared once daily in our World Headquarters’ kitchen. Joan McCarter joins us with an exquisite water ganache, and her usual political acumen.
President Joe Biden keeps moving his own goalposts… And he’s still scoring! Now, all US adults will be eligible for the Covid vaccine on April 19. Saying Boris Johnson is “smarter than Trump” is like saying Boris has “a better hairstyle” than Donald, but at least Boris is getting his pandemic act together with the implementation of a national rapid COVID-19 testing program. Brexit, however, has wiped out the UK’s fine chocolate industry, leaving only spotted dick standing for the pride of Great Britain.
Montana Governor Greg Gianforte recently signed a law against mask mandates. A mask with a shot might have kept him from coming down with Covid yesterday. People who don’t believe in masks or vaccines do believe in miracles, and suggest Greg try one of those.
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez demonstrated her support for party unity by donating to vulnerable House Democrats, much to their horror, as this money will be pointed to as proof of radical left… or right wing ties by their adversaries who would have lied about them anyhow. Want to show your support at a real grassroots level? And, have a fun and interesting time doing it? Support Hillary Kwiatek’s City Council campaign and hear behind the scenes stories of big stakes TV game shows! Tonight at 7PM Eastern! Or, if that’s not your style, you can check out the special election in TX-6, with a twelve crackpot Republican “jungle primary”, led by a Korean-American known for being anti-Asian.
Surprise! President Joe is making America... well, great again. Biden is doing it from infrastructure and inequality on up. Republicans, of course want nothing to do with that. Mitch McConnell promises to burn bridges with any person or corporation that would support America. Chuck Schumer is becoming increasingly fine with Republican nonparticipation, now that he and the Senate parliamentarian are seeing eye to eye on Section 304 of the 1974 Budget Act. The Senate parliamentarian ruled Monday that Democrats can use special budgetary rules on two more pieces of legislation. David and Joan discuss what that means, and where and when it might be used.
Mon, 5 April 2021
Are we safe from the pandemic yet? No, but we are much safer. Will herd immunity stop the disease? No, but we in the herd will be much more secure. Yes, we still have a COVID-19 pandemic. Yes, there is progress being made, a lot of progress. Both of those are true. Of course, the most important question is — which one of us is wrong? Are we wrong or them? Maybe we all are? No, just because there is enough blame to go around, it doesn’t mean we each get half. For instance, has Florida’s Covid response been mediocre, or was Ron DeSantis just incapable of making it as bad as he could have?
Georgia knew enough to try to hide its true intentions in its new voting law, but times have changed, and their usual institutional support now wants to cancel them. Republicans nationally are becoming worthless when it comes to getting anything done for Americans. Therefore, it’s Dr. Seuss, Mr. Potato Head, Coca Cola, Jill Biden’s stockings, and whatever stunt their cornballs, new and old, can come up with today.
Donald Trump bilked Trumpers out of millions, because that’s what they’re there for. Then, in order to pay back those saps, he needed new suckers and a bigger scam. Then it’s down the road, another day, another name, another scam.
Fri, 2 April 2021
The only letdown with the Matt PizzaGaetz scandal is that it’s not happening to Rand and Ted too. Other than that, GaetzGate has got everything — party drugs, naked women hula-hooping, online payments and solicitation, condoms by the gross… which means it still has a gross of gross accessories and abettors yet to be revealed! Plenty of Republicans knew what Matt was up to, and down for, for a long time, but now that the trail could be leading to them, under the bus Matt goes.
‘Tis the season for Bunnies, and here comes Arliss Bunny, author of The Smart Bunny's Guide to Debt, Deficit and Austerity, hopping into the KITM conversation on Joe Biden’s proposed “Once-in-a-generation investment in America”. Arliss agrees that it’s a great investment to make, but why not make it the norm? America is resource-rich, and resources aren’t to hoard, but invest. Arliss Bunny suggests that we fight the Reagan economic suck by ditching outmoded, gold-standard thinking, and instead pay attention to experts like economist Stephanie Kelton, and study her book, The Deficit Myth: Modern Monetary Theory and the Birth of the People’s Economy, for guidance.
Thu, 1 April 2021
April Fools! It is only day one of April, but there are plenty of fools to call out. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin only have a couple of hours today, but a whole month to go:
Let’s start with Ted Cruz of the panhandle, Matt Gaetz. Gaetz’ Mann act adds a few new players, including a former Department of Justice official, a presumed dead Iranian hostage, Andrew McCabe, William Barr… it’s enough to make your Tucker pucker. Why is this man smiling?
Everyone in the world just had their opinions of Georgia completely confirmed this week, much to the dismay of the world-wide corporations headquartered there. Delta Air Lines found Georgian voter suppression unacceptable, while Hollywood reconsidered filming in Georgia, for the umpteenth time.
The Missouri Gop doesn’t want Georgians to get all the glory on abusing voters and the poor. Democrat Rita Hart drops out of the House race that she was losing by 6 points, because of the 1/6 insurrection... and that’s what Dems do. Kevin McCarthy takes a victory lap, because that’s what Republicans do.
Non-fool approval for the US vaccine rollout continues to surge. If only this was a non-fool world, we’d be in great shape. Alex Berenson could be the pandemic’s wrongest man, but he couldn’t have done it without fools helping. Dr. Fauci cuts Dr. Birx some slack. Someday, scientists will take be able to remove their faces from their palms.