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Kagro in the Morning

Mar 29, 2021

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Avast! Listen to David Waldman and Greg Dworkin on today’s KITM, then find yourself a volcano and a soccer ball and have ye a joyous Passover, arr!

Giant container ship “Ever Given” finally made the long-awaited pivot to freedom, and scampered back into open water, leaving reporters misty-eyed on shore.

We are still stuck with a COVID pandemic, though. Thanks to Joe, vaccines are pouring into millions of arms. Unfortunately, cases keep rising, as will deaths. Anti-vaxxers and far-right extremists here and around the world continue to fight for death. We could have saved more than a World War’s worth without Donald Trump in office. Of course, Trump couldn’t have done it alone. Dr. Deborah Birx, Trump’s coronavirus response coordinator, now points out that she personally chose to have hundreds of thousands of people die, rather than to aggravate Donald Trump. Dr. Francis Collins proves one can be a scientist, evangelical and a Christian, all at the same time.

Joe Biden is doing such a good job as president, that his overthrow has been postponed until August. Mr. Biden will now demonstrate what effective management techniques can do at the border. Management isn’t Republicans strong suit, or even something that interests them. They don’t mind that anti-voting measures hurt them also, because they that see where we are stuck now might be as good as anywhere they will ever get to. Lara Trump was to headline Trump TV, but now is just fine being Fox Blond #3452. Hard-working journalist Brenna T. Smith exposed insurrectionist crowdfunding, irritating right wing mediocrities and slacker grifters John Cornyn is putting some actual work into making sure Vanita Gupta doesn’t go to work for voters. Brad Raffensperger did his job one time, and now he’s in trouble. Unindicted pro-Trump attorney Lin Wood hopes to hide out as chairman of the South Carolina Republican Party until things cool off. 

Meanwhile, Chuck Schumer will attempt the unimaginable! Actually, as David explains, it is pretty imaginable, just a lot of work, and neither side wants that, unless it’s necessary.